I discovered in early December that my wife was having an affair. I lost all self control. She was a principal at a high school and the AP was her assistant principal. I (incorrectly) gave her an ultimatum....immediately we go to counseling or I get a lawyer. Her response was "do whatever you want"

For the next month I pleaded with her, begged her to stop seeing him. Give me a chance to "fix it". It's each of our second marriage, she has a daughter from her first, I have a daughter from my first and we have a daughter together. I was willing to go to hell and back to fix what I needed to fix and get her to stop. It was a complete uphill battle that I was never going to win. I continued to find texts, they were on whatsapp, were meeting each other out on nights and weekends. I knew she was lying through her teeth to me and still has yet to admit anything.

Finally in late January I had enough of of her lies. I contacted the school, they seized her devices and put her on leave. 4 hours later she was called back and forced to sign her letter of resignation. I thought I would feel good for this, but instead I had an overwhelming feeling of shame and dread. Now she's not working, and I'm forced to pay the mortgage, two car payments and EVERYTHING else.

I'm stuck in this house until she gets a job and my lawyer is trying to prolong the court process so I'm not stuck paying thousands upon thousands in support.

Earlier this week I found she has a second phone. I can't get into it but she did approach me about "snooping" so now she knows I know about it. Yet she continues to lie. She blames her job loss on me "making up a good story". I did write her AP's spouse and was written off because he had already told her I was crazy and making up stories.

I know their plan is to be together. Everybody knows it, but she won't admit it to me or take any blame whatsoever. I don't know why I feel I need to hear her just say "yeah, we are together and plan to be together. Let's just be amicable and finish this off so we can both move forward". If she would just say that it would be the closure I need. All the blame wouldn't be on my shoulders. I wouldn't feel like such trash.

How do I get closure if she is unwilling to give me even a speck of dignity in this?