I didn’t make all these up, but they’ve all been backed up by my own experience.

In case you’re wondering. I’m in my 30’s. I was in a 7 year relationship with a stunning looking girl during most of my 20s.

After the break up, I realized I was pathetic with women. I dabbled in pick up for years. I would occasionally land into relationships which quickly got boring or stifling. It wasn’t until I got serious about self development and looking at the general principles of functional relationships that I’ve begun to have better results (i.e., hotter girls, with less commitment and time expended).

I’m not a spring chicken, so it get frustrating seeing bad advice being constantly doled out. Here’s my attempt to help guys course-correct.

These are ten nuggets of knowledge which helped me progress the most:

1) SHE ALREADY HAS ONE PUSSY, SHE DOESN’T WANT ANOTHER On a primal level, women are generally attracted to big, strong, and manly men. Get your shit handled and don’t act like a whiny bitch ever.

2) WOMEN HAVE A DUAL MATING STRATEGY Women want to fuck the alpha: the winner, the leader of men, the person who is most comfortable and confident in the tribe or room. But, she’ll couple with a beta for the financial security. The alpha gets easy sex without demands. The beta pays with commitment, time, and resources for unenthusiastic transactional sex. THIS is why women cheat. Unless you like once a week starfish sex (“getting lucky”) from a girl who is passionately fucking Chad on the side, you must sculpt yourself into the alpha.

3) WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO THE MAN WITH STRONGEST FRAME Frame is the interpretation of reality. In any given interaction, one person has a stronger frame than the rest, and they are able to define the meaning of not only the interaction but of everything else. RSD describes this as being non-reactive. This carried into relationships.

4) TREAT HER LIKE A CHILD She’s emotional, dependent on you, liable to change her mind at any moment, and is not someone you would take too seriously. These are the functional qualities of a child. You, on the other hand, need to be centered, dependable, decisive, leading the interaction, and often teasing her. You should never seek out her approval.

5) EMOTIONS ARE A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND If you become the source of emotions, you are relevant and valuable to her.

6) SEX IS NATURAL If a man and woman are stuck in isolation together, they’ll eventually have sex… because it’s natural. It’s how all animals, from insects to humans, reproduce, continue on, and evolve over time. If you are showing up as a man, time is on your side.

7) IF SHE ISN’T ENTHUSIASTICALLY FUCKING YOU, THEN YOU’RE HER BETA PROVIDER This applies in relationships. Here’s what you should do about it…

8) SPIN PLATES You should always be sleeping with and/or gaming multiple women at any given time. This will make you less invested in any one woman while also providing you with the necessary reference experience that will allow you to actually get good with women.

9) SHE’S NOT YOUR GIRL, YOU’RE JUST THE GUY SHE’S WITH RIGHT NOW Don’t worry about whether she will fuck someone else. Instead, assume that eventually she will. What you do about it when that time comes is up to you. But ultimately, you don’t own her, and she doesn’t own you.

10) APPRECIATE THAT IT’S NOT EASY Sex and hot women are more enjoyable, exciting, and rewarding because they’re part of a process and require a bit of effort on your part. Be thankful that you need to improve yourself to maintain the interest of quality women. It’s not like dressing well, staying in shape, and making money are bad things. Be happy that beautiful, pleasant women are an additional bonus for staying on top of your shit and focusing on your wider purpose in life.

If you liked this article, I posted a longer, more detailed version on my blog.

I also just recorded a podcast pilot based on this list. Check it out and let me know what you think.