Is it ok to just want casual sex?

nervouspomegranate · 2019-03-14T15:01:38+00:00

Be upfront. Tell them you only want casual sex, you’d be surprised how many females are down with that

sorrymauree · 2019-03-14T18:16:58+00:00

Yes. And you’ll find other girls that want it too.

Dm me;););;);););).O.

VaporFlight · 2019-03-15T00:29:07+00:00

I do it in a pretty lazy way but here goes:

Match with a girl on Tinder.
Me: "Hey you're cute. I wanna be up front and just say that I'm honestly just looking for some casual/FWB stuff."
Her: "Yes/No"
If it's yes, I'll probably go and grab a drink or something with her to build some comfort. If no, thank her for her time and move on.

This honestly has worked for me about 25% of the time.

djdante · 2019-03-14T21:40:34+00:00

Well, where should I Start here.. This is a good question with so much I Want to say to it, I'll put it in bullet points ot make it easier to consume.

1) It's very normal to want casual sex - It's 100% healthy and part of a regular sex drive for BOTH men and women. Almost everyone will want casual sex at least for periods of their lives. I'm in a 10 year relationship and every now and again we open it up so we can both enjoy casual sex.

2) I think it's more healthy emotionally, not to just focus on the sex part of casual partners - Instead focus on having really incredible intimate experiences wiht interesting women - So there's sex, intelligent conversation, laughing, and general intimacy (not just sticking your dick inside of her). The end result will be far more rewarding casual experiences. And yes for these to work, you need to be upfront about it so she's under no misgivings you want a girlfriend. I've had some incredibly experiences with some mind blowing women this way.

3) Look at point number 2 - THATS the kind of 'casual' women actually crave, even the really desperate drunk bar girls secretly hope for more than just a dick inside her. When you can make it clear that's the kind of experience you want, women will be less resistant to it (some will still want a LTR and that's their perogative).

4) I don't usually say 'I just want casual' - it's crass, and unsophisticated and it can be a 'scare' word for many women - BUT I do make it clear. What do I say? something like: "You know, I'm loving being single right now - It's giving me a chance to take a step back and really look at my life, I can be 100% selfish and focus on my career, I can nurture my frienships, and really learn about who I am without making concessions to a partner, this phase won't last forever, but I've finding it hugely rewarding for now" - That makes abundantly clear that I want to stay single without a tad of sleaziness.

Black_Widow14 · 2019-03-14T17:44:44+00:00

straight up, you will most likely be judged with consideration of how old you are, but if you're up front about it it's best.
My best (girl) friend is in the mode of just wanting a casual sex partner and is hooking up with someone. I'm forgetting how she met him though. They talked about protection and if they both wanted to hook up with other people.

Not_My_Real_Acct_ · 2019-03-14T18:48:58+00:00

Here's how I do it:

step 1: I meet girls, and I have a bunch of material queued up. Stories, jokes, etc. Basically I'm a motormouth for the whole date.

step 2: I always try and have sex on the first date

step 3: Once you've had sex, everything gets easier. It's like "an object in motion tends to stay in motion." Once they're intimate with you, they tend to continue to be intimate with you.

step 4: somewhere around the three or four week mark, they'll usually ask me "so what are we? am I your GF?" At that point I'll let them know that "we're really close but I don't want to be committed to just one person, and it's perfectly OK if you see other guys." That puts them in a cozy little trap:

95% of the time they'll date just me, and begrudgingly put up with the other girls I'm dating
5% of the time they'll go on dates with new guys, but they'll continue to see me on the side

Once you get this going you can basically do it indefinitely. I've been having sex with my wife for over 20 years and my mistress for eleven years. It never ends.

Anti-Satan · 2019-03-14T18:46:57+00:00

It seems like lots of people here are trying to find their wives or only sleep with lots of girls to find the right one. This is part of it but frankly I want casual sex with cute girls as an end in itself...

It's not so much that guys on here are seeking that, they just know that you can't be a rolling stone forever and you're hardwired to fall in love with some girls and want to settle down. So they want to ease their landing to avoid a faceplant because they weren't prepared for it.

ugin559 · 2019-03-14T19:51:03+00:00

I dont know how to read social cues tbh

superphotonerd · 2019-03-14T17:01:55+00:00

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All_New_Person · 2019-03-14T15:31:56+00:00

Is it ok to just want casual sex?

No, you are a monster!

teatimewithbatman1 · 2019-03-14T22:19:38+00:00

Tell them all you want is casual sex. But dont act interesting in it....watch them start fiending for it

2019-03-15T01:36:35+00:00

Just be upfront about it. There are lots of women who only want casual sex too. Cities and college towns are full of them. Be wary that lots of chicks will lie to you and say they’re cool with that, but secretly they probably eventually want something of substance.

If you’re honest though at least they can’t say you lead them on or lied to them.

Sunupu · 2019-03-15T04:13:08+00:00

It's simple - ask them what they're looking for and when they ask you the same question answer honestly. At that point it's either gonna end there or you'll know she's okay with it continuing.

The pratfalls of casual sex are jealousy and transparency. You have to set the precedent and be as open with women as you want them to be with you - don't lie and don't set rules for them you wouldn't set for yourself

iamjosan · 2019-03-14T19:24:26+00:00

Yes it’s okay to just want casual sex.

As someone who has been having casual sex for the past 3 years, I strongly advise against telling girls you only want casual sex.

The same way that you don’t ask for consent before having sex, you don’t tell girls that you only want casual sex.

All of this stuff is non verbal.

What you can do is set the tone for casual sex. Every time you see the girl you have sex with her. You don’t go out on dates.

When I meet the girl for the first time, I ask her to come to my house and I have sex with her. From that point on, every time I see her, I have sex with her.

I had a fuckbuddy that stayed with me for almost 2 years! She would come over at night, we would fuck, and then she would go home.

One of my current fuckbuddies is almost hitting the 1 year mark. Same thing. She comes over, we have sex, and then she goes home.

You can’t make girls have casual sex with you but you can look for the girls who are willing to have casual sex with you.

basicallyISIS · 2019-03-14T18:20:13+00:00

I’d say it’s a natural desire for most men to want casual sex with many women but I’d say it’s a desire we should avoid as the few minutes of pleasure you get from having casual sex has a negative impact on you’re sex life in the long term and in fact the sexual reward you imagined in your head is actually way greater than the pleasure you actually get especially as the more casual sex you have the less pleasurable it becomes.

I personally avoid this desire by not exposing myself to the beauty of the women’s body (pornography, instagram) and so by doing this the pleasure I get when I have meaningful sex in a relationship will be way more immense then the casual insignificant sexual interactions.

idontvapebro96 · 2019-03-14T19:36:12+00:00

For sure. My personal experience is that keeping it casual and just sex is the best way to do things, I didn’t even follow my own advice with my last FWB and caught feelings.

ZarathustraSpenta · 2019-03-14T20:14:58+00:00

Yes

JayBthirty4 · 2019-03-14T22:04:05+00:00

Problem lies in the stigma of a woman being thought of as a slut for only wanting that so its an additional front they put up

UsefulAccount3 · 2019-03-14T22:39:22+00:00

dryo · 2019-03-15T02:16:21+00:00

Uh, yeah.

DizzyxSin · 2019-03-15T02:30:27+00:00

It's been tested by some guy on YouTube, 25% said yes, the rest told him to fuck off.

2019-03-15T02:34:48+00:00

Pretty normal. Some relationships aren't good you must try hard or be XYZ.

dcomet · 2019-03-15T02:57:18+00:00

Well if thats what you want. Then go get em tiger! Its ok to be casual if thats what makes you happy. But yea, be upfront. Women want to know whats up. Dont give them hope for longevity if its not going to happen.

silex840 · 2019-03-15T04:21:00+00:00

Did it ever occur to you that casual sex benefits the girl. A LOT more than the guy. They get to live their own lives. And not deal with having a baby. They get to be single and have sex with other guys (easier for them).

They get to enjoy trying and experimenting. You are doing them a favor by wanting casual.

Kolkhoz · 2019-03-15T06:18:03+00:00

You’re basically looking for ways around the anti-slut defense.

sanepanda · 2019-03-15T06:36:59+00:00

Nothing wrong with wanting casual sex but it can be problematic from a mindset standpoint. Aim for overall happiness and satisfaction and not just banging hot chicks for external validation or you might come across as needy.

2019-03-15T07:42:42+00:00

Learn the way of the PUA, and them legs will spread! Not all, but then, those are the time-wasters.

Metal_Cello · 2019-03-15T11:26:55+00:00

Just be up front. Maybe be more tactful than "I just want to bang," but make it clear you just want something casual, not serious. If you feel bold enough, say you simply want a FWB.

It's probably better to mention this before going out on a date, when you're just talking with her. Let her know that if she doesn't want something strictly casual, then you don't want to waste her time. Even if she says no to the date, she will respect you for that.

***Be careful though. Lots of guys who are usually the "relationship type" find that casual isn't as easy as they think. The line between FWB and relationship can quickly blur, and accidental feelings are always a potential side effect. That being said, have at it, and have fun!

2019-03-15T20:12:11+00:00

It's okay as long as you let them know your intentions.

J_A_B_88 · 2019-03-15T20:42:08+00:00

My buddy straight up tells his matches early on in their convo. Weeds out the people that don't want that.

Afr0Playz · 2019-04-28T17:45:32+00:00

More like you haven’t been cheated on and anyone else is literally like they have a stick up there ass or too emotionally depressed to even try

TheBodyTrust · 2019-03-14T15:49:25+00:00

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ArtfulLounger · 2019-03-14T16:29:25+00:00

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2019-03-14T18:47:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Is it ok to just want casual sex?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	310
Comments	132
Date	March 14, 2019 2:58 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/b11b8b/is_it_ok_to_just_want_casual_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-ok-to-just-want-casual-sex.1464346 https://theredarchive.com/post/1464346

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