How can I convince a guy to stop talking to me?

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2024-03-21T18:18:37+00:00

...stop answering him?

Who cares if he insists on you two being friends (while obviously aiming at more-than-friends...). He's a rando on the internet. You don't owe him anything.

Jenneapolis · 2024-03-21T17:50:07+00:00

If it’s just a random guy, you tell them you’re not interested in pursuing it further. If they continue to message you and not take your no for an answer, then you block them. You do not owe anything to a stranger.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-03-21T20:27:49+00:00

At 28, if this is a struggle for you, there's a book that may change your life: Boundaries by Doctor Henry Townsend. Please do take a look at it.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2024-03-21T21:02:48+00:00

“Fly to see me”.

So he isn’t local? You never have to accidentally run into him? Just stop answering him. Sounds like you don’t even know him and don’t really want to

LateralThinker13 · 2024-03-21T18:12:55+00:00

If you wanted to be safe, just block him.

But if you want to be kind, clue him in, then block him. SOmething like this:

"Look, X, you're nice, decent, we have common interests, etc. Granted. But you're way too enthusiastic about me, texting me constantly, and already talking about flying out to see me after only 5 days. That's way too forward and it makes me - and most women - uncomfortable. Furthermore, when I said I don't want a relationship, you pushed and pushed for us to be friends: desperation and clinginess is REALLY unattractive and suffocating in a man."

"You need to learn to not pedestalize women, to not come on too strong, and to develop abundance in your life so that when you find a woman you do like, you don't overwhelm her. Otherwise you're going to continue to strike out with women and get frustrated and not understand why they start calling you pushy or a creep."

"I say this with all the compassion I can muster for a fellow human being, good luck and best wishes. I will be blocking you because I do not want any relationship with you going forward, but I hope you can learn from this and grow into a better, more desirable human being. Goodbye."

And then block him. Will he learn from it? I give it 20%. But it's better than 0, and some other woman down the line might just thank you for it.

tinerene · 2024-03-21T17:49:09+00:00

He’s disrespecting your boundaries if you’ve already told him. Just block him, you don’t owe him any more explanations he’ll just shit on anyway

countrylemon · 2024-03-21T18:05:39+00:00

You can literally ghost him, when I was an influencer the amount of weird men who would relentlessly message me was insane, a few of them still message my account and I have t posted anything in three years!

Avoid dating men online or even befriending them honestly, there’s enough men in the real world.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-03-22T03:20:19+00:00

For some reason, this guy reminds me of this.

Block, with extreme prejudice. And don't feel bad.

Huntress_Hati · 2024-03-22T01:07:31+00:00

Although a decision has already been made and this issue seems solved now, I’m just gonna leave this here in hopes it might help anyone in the future.

When it comes to these situations, and honestly any situation in life that makes you uncomfortable, the most expeditive, liberating yet yes maybe scary thing you can and HAVE to do is being very direct.

And no that doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk. There are ways to forward a message in a direct yet kind way.

A lot of people, oftentimes females, will have an indirect style of communication; to preserve harmony, avoid conflict, avoid hurting someone’s feelings, avoid threat to their own reputation, or impression of safety, etc.

But a lot of people, oftentimes males, just don’t get the subtle hints. If it’s not smacking them across the face they have no idea what’s going on in our heads and they will interpret mild politeness or any “not definitive NO” as a “might have a chance”

By being direct you get everyone on board with the program asap and can get rid of the unknown values, assumptions and interpretations of each parties.

When people’s intentions towards me are not voiced, implied or too subtle I will ask directly. When I have the answer I state my own intentions directly. It saves time and energy.

If a guy wants something more and I’m not interested, I say so and then I add “I am also not the type that accumulates back burners so if a no from me puts you in that position, and you can’t kill that false hope straight here and there and viscerally be ok with being just friends, then have some self respect and walk away. You should be chosen for you, as a first pick, by someone who’s available.”

HappySpinningSeal · 2024-03-21T20:59:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

brokebatteredsmile · 2024-03-22T17:48:30+00:00

Listen, I am a guy. We are simple. We are stupid in hints, socially unaware. We are creatures of logic and problem solving. I would rather have the bandaid ripped off quickly. Guys appreciate that. Yeah, it will suck. But being "lead on" is the worst thing you can do. He will gain more attachment by the day. For most men, it is like being tortured to death. Men are very different from women. Don't let me down easy. Put me out of my misery. I had a girl once take 3 weeks to break up with me, I hate her to this day. She would say things like i just don't want a relationship now but maybe later because i still have feelings for you. She would keep responding and talking. Then, not answer the basic question. Is it over? After a pain staking 3 weeks. She finally told me she wanted to date other people, but she said i was the best sex she ever had, so she wanted to still see me in that capacity. I never saw her again because i went 3 weeks without sleep trying to find out where i stood. Had a girl say yeah, I'm just not into you like that. It was cool. I thanked her for not wasting my time. I drink with her when I am passing thru her country. I don't try to push anything because I know where I stand. Never had a single ill will towards her.

So text him and say, "Hey, I just wanna be honest with you. I'm not really into you. You're not my type. I'm actually interested in another guy." The last part makes it final for him clear cut and over. If you leave a hint that you maybe kinda could have feelings for him in the future or any doubt of finality, he will be a lost puppy following.

Mikeytherecruiter · 2024-03-25T16:53:03+00:00

Tell him you have aids

ClarityByHilarity · 2024-03-21T23:41:28+00:00

Girl, just say you’re not feeling it and it’s best to make clean breaks. Wish him luck, and block.

AutoModerator · 2024-03-21T17:38:14+00:00

Title: How can I convince a guy to stop talking to me?

Author helloMrPeriwinkle

Full text: I (28f) met a guy (35m) on social media about 5 days ago. We started chatting. He's nice, he's decent, he has a good job and we have many common interests. But I'm not interested in a relationship with him and I just find that he's too enthusiastic about me. He wants to be texting me all day, every day, always wants selfies (which I don't give to him) and he's talking about wanting to fly out to see me. It's only been 5 days!!! I feel like I'm under surveillance because he's always asking me about what I'm doing at that moment. I'm the type of person who doesn't like to carry my phone around all day, I prefer to put it down and go do my outdoor activities and stuff. I made it explicit that I don't want a relationship, but he still insists on us being friends. This whole thing feels really suffocating, and when I try to tell him that he just says he's sorry and then keeps on. And when I don't text him back he guilt trips me.

So the question is, now that I've definitely let things go too far, how do I lose the guy? He's not a bad dude per say, so I don't want to hurt him. I just want to convince him not to talk to me so much.

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pearlsandstilettos · 2024-03-27T14:24:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Fae_Leaf · 2024-03-21T17:58:09+00:00

If you want to potentially preserve any sort of friendship, just ignore most of his messages and only respond once in a while when you truly feel like it. Hopefully he'll get the hint and stop pushing. But if you just want to end everything, you can be firm and tell him that he's not respecting your boundaries at this point to where you don't even feel comfortable with a friendship. And then block if he doesn't. Or block anyway because it's already to that point.

Or just block now without anymore contact. It doesn't really matter that much.

imtheoneimmortal · 2024-03-22T13:38:16+00:00

With boys you need to be direct and wake him up.
"I have to tell a thing and is pretty direct, stop talking to me because you are too enthusiastic and want to text all day, maybe we can talk less? You are rushing too much"

Title	How can I convince a guy to stop talking to me?
Author	helloMrPeriwinkle
Upvotes	15
Comments	48
Date	March 21, 2024 5:38 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1bkcdd0/how_can_i_convince_a_guy_to_stop_talking_to_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-can-i-convince-a-guy-to-stop-talking-to-me.1513261 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513261

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