I live in Connecticut. It’s one of the most brutal 50/50 states in the country.

Wife of 5 years has asked for a divorce. She’s done this before, but this time feels different. This time is real.

No kids. House has a Zillow value of 1M of which we have about 440k in equity.

We file taxes separately.

I am self employed. My business’ total sales are around 800k/year. My costs are very high and I gross around 80-100k, but with using every deduction imaginable my AGI for tax purposes is 28k. My retirement account is 70k and I have 100k in unrealized gains in a stock portfolio. I have a large investment in collectibles, most of which was bought before marriage but I have no way to discern what was purchased before or after.

She’s a foreign national and I sponsored her Green Card. Every dollar she’s ever made has been while we were married. She now has a job that pays around 200k, she owns a rental property worth ~320k that she probably has around 75k equity in. Her retirement account is around 130k and she has around 150k in savings and investments. She is far more financially responsible than I am. She works in a hedge fund adjacent to the legal department. She eats lunch with 4-5 corporate attorneys every day. They have a program that gives employees discounted rates on legal services.

She’s come to me and offered to do this amicably. I also want to do this amicably because I think it’s in both our interests. I also think she has no idea that she would need to split her retirement and investment property with me. She is unfamiliar with US law and really doesn’t know how potentially devastating this could be to herself. She said she wanted a divorce yesterday morning and at 2pm called the realtor to try to put the house on the market and tried to get me to sign a bunch of forms. I laughed.

I really think she thinks we will just sell the house , each pocket 200k, and we walk away. I think that’s what she wants. Once she finds out she’ll need to split the rental property + her retirement I think this situation goes nuclear.

Here’s my questions:

1) Is it worth it to fight for the remainder? Divorce attorneys in my area are 600-750/hr. I see horror stories of people spending 100k on a divorce and I simply don’t have that money. A lot of my net worth is tied up in inventory for my business. Especially as we approach the holidays. My cash on hand is very low.

2) We moved here for her job and when we did I had nothing. My health insurance is provided through her work. I believe she’s on the hook for that but I don’t know for how long or what the situation is with that. How does that work?

3) What figure is used to calculate alimony? Is it my 80-100k net or my 28k AGI?

4) I’ve done most of the accounting for my business myself. She’s a literal accountant with an undergrad in Forensic Accounting and an MPA. I guess it’s possible she can request an audit of my books. But can she? Yeah I’m sure she can. But what does that look like? Who pays for it? What needs to be provided?

I’m sure I have more questions , just thinking out loud here.