Which would you choose: never to fall in love again or to be unrequited in love?

modernmanagement · 2025-01-15T04:37:31+00:00

I will only ever have a long term relationship if I feel that we both love each other very deeply. To me, that means that I am attracted to them both physically and mentally, that I admire who they are, we have a deep respect for each other, we completely trust each other and can be honest about everything, and that we share the same goals. If all those boxes are ticked, for both of us, then I'll consider it as love. I'm not confident that I'll find it, but I'll know it when I have it. Until then, it's casual dates and short term relationships.

Common-Aioli-6722 · 2025-01-15T03:12:42+00:00

You shall love, whether you like it or not.

BrokenRobotheart190 · 2025-01-12T01:17:06+00:00

I’d choose option 3. Quiet unrelenting detachment. From the feels. Just choose to let everything play itself out. They want me? Cool. They don’t? Also cool. I’ve been in love and opened myself up completely to someone who chose to dump me at the first sign of trouble and treat me like a backup. Never going to be in that position again so I choose to blaze my own trail and I’m happy with this me.

Ark161 · 2025-01-11T23:08:05+00:00

I am too jaded to "love" like I loved my ex. The fact I tried to do everything I thought was right, I showed up, I gave my marriage literally everything I had, and it still failed because of how she felt. I didnt have any say in the matter. There was no discussion or fight over it. She said it, and poof my life gets royally fucked...yeah, I was an idiot to think I was the exception. Sure, I may grow fond of someone again, I may even come close to what you could approximate to be "love", but to say I will love again....I honestly do not think there is a single soul out there that could convince me they would never betray that trust.

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-01-11T22:22:14+00:00

been 5 year since D day and didnt love her anyway.

lately i fell in love or love-light as it might be because i am a bit guarded but only because she is someone i dated and sorta loved before i was married and shes been amazing. tells me she loves me all the time and how lucky shes is.

i cant say that i’d be devastated though if she left. hurt yes but i have a pretty tough hide nowdays. i like the good things women have to offer so i’m not throwing in the towel.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-01-11T18:25:30+00:00

Fall in love again. Get your heart broken. Break other peoples hearts. Grow from it, and fall in love again. Live your life my man.

Just don't be stupid and get married again UNLESS you are not a father yet. In that case fall in love, get married, have your kids ASAP, get your heart broken in 5-7 years, and then move on to a life of freedom and fulfillment.

You have to accept romantic relationships are not forever. You have to accept they will hurt when they end whether your are the dumper or dumpee. You have to accept you were made to be resilient to overcome life's hardships and to keep moving forward and improving. A man who lives his life to avoid risk and pain is just a shell of a person.

47omek · 2025-01-11T04:31:48+00:00

It's not possible for me to "fall in love" again. I've seen too much and understand too much about the opposite sex to ever trust that blindly again. Not to mention also understanding the lovely "family" court system in the US. I enjoy women from time to time but that's as far as it goes.

Movieman_Steve · 2025-01-11T02:24:07+00:00

Never falling in love again. Looking back on the last few years of my marriage made me realize that I was in a unrequited love relationship with my then wife and didn't know it. She was just stringing me along till she found someone "better".

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2025-01-11T01:13:38+00:00

I’m actively pursuing never falling in love again.

dfb54749014 · 2025-01-11T00:50:50+00:00

They say, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

I dunno about that. It's honestly soul crushing after 20+ years together. At this point I'd rather not find love again. Just concentrate on living for myself and accomplishing my own goals and putting my energy into that. Rather than put all my energy into a relationship that may or may not work out according to her whims.

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2025-01-10T23:39:34+00:00

Too Bad English only has one word for:

* Love of erotic nature between man and woman (Eros)

* Love of the family (Storge)

* Love of your City/culture/traditions (Patria)

* Love of the Divine/Universe (Agape)

Of these, Eros was considered by almost all philosophers to be the *lowest* form of love, closer to animal instincts or mania. One of the reasons society is all messed up today is that it seems everything revolves around Eros/Erotic satisifaction, and Storge + Agape have been all but removed from Marriage these days.

Slowloris81 · 2025-01-10T23:03:39+00:00

How about requited in love?

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2025-01-10T23:01:00+00:00

I don’t think these are the only two options nor the healthy options. And I say that as I go through my divorce.

yankeephil86 · 2025-01-10T22:26:06+00:00

Love is a myth created by the government to sell flowers on Valentines day and boost the economy

Title	Which would you choose: never to fall in love again or to be unrequited in love?
Author	Few_Strawberry_99
Upvotes	10
Comments	15
Date	January 10, 2025 10:23 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hygqwj/which_would_you_choose_never_to_fall_in_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/which-would-you-choose-never-to-fall-in-love-again.1540875 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540875

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