When did you know it was over?

Startingthisover · 2025-03-06T02:08:40+00:00

When we stopped having fun together. When it just became staring at the TV every day and going to the movies once a week. When my priorities didn’t matter anymore. When only her happiness was what we concentrated on. Still married - but these are my daily thoughts of why to leave.

Technical-Jelly3466 · 2025-03-03T11:46:36+00:00

I realized when I was in the exact same situation as you.

Anytime we would fight she would threaten divorce. The last time she threatened it l said “you’re right, we should get a divorce”. The look on her face was priceless.

Azazl187 · 2025-02-27T10:05:52+00:00

When she stopped waking me up in the night and asking me for a cuddle due to bad dreams

Outside-Dimension788 · 2025-02-26T22:40:51+00:00

20 days after our 13th anniversary, right before Halloween. She told me she was miserable at work and at home and that she didnt like how she was treating me. She then said that she wanted a divorce, didn't want to try counseling, and that she's made up her mind, and when she's done that, it's done. Told me she was no longer attracted to me, but did say I was a good person and great father, so I have that going for me.

EvalCrux · 2025-02-26T03:05:09+00:00

So I rolled up in the Cybertruck…

cschoonmaker · 2025-02-26T01:41:58+00:00

When she had me served with the divorce petition AT my daughters dance school while I was there with my daughter.

AnimalKaleidoscope · 2025-02-25T21:04:21+00:00

I knew it was over when she told me, out of the blue, that she was really unhappy and wanted a trial separation literally the day after my dad’s funeral.

black65Cutlass · 2025-02-25T19:56:48+00:00

When she refused to go to the emergency room with me for a possibly life-threatening illness. That is when I truly knew she didn't give a shit what happened to me.

jimsmythee · 2025-02-25T18:05:35+00:00

My divorce wasn't due to any infidelity. It happened due to her addictions to pills.

Mix in dead bedroom -- she had no interest in sex because of the gray fog she was always in.

Mix in verbal abuse -- screaming at me each and every time she ran out of narcotics.

Mix in financial problems -- she refused to work and was always getting into great big DUI crashes.

Mix in gaslighting me that these were normal issues -- it was a mixture of "All Jim's fault for everything" and "Jim doesn't love her enough" to "This was a one time disaster. Get over it."

I got out and made out like a bandit in the divorce. Left her in the dust.

DaveTheDrummer802 · 2025-02-25T15:15:42+00:00

The first time she told me she wanted a divorce; she took it back 2 hours later. I was in complete shock at the time, and after the shock wore off, I knew. When she told me the second time, I just said, "heard that one before" and walked away. We are still married. Kids, of course.

Mansa_Musa20 · 2025-02-25T14:00:35+00:00

I knew it was over when I found messages between her friends discussing setting me up DV, making sure she had a immigration lawyer that specialized in abused women so she wouldn’t be deported. Them coaching her and tell her all kinds of things to make sure she has in place. After a long history of disrespect that was the final straw I filed that same weekend

Rugger2row · 2025-02-25T12:10:23+00:00

When my wife stopped getting undressed in front of me. She is polite but the warm and kindness is long gone. It's been 2 years, still here. My kids are so young, I guess I haven't been able to file.

 She is having a major surgery in the summer, I guess we will see what happens after that. Like with everything else, the actual action will fall to me, that way she can blame me for the decision she made long ago when she took off her ring. Good times!

FUMoney · 2025-02-25T11:02:22+00:00

No, counseling will be a massive waste of time and money. Success rate is close to zero. Just up and file for divorce. Not joking. Get out.

muscularmusician · 2025-02-25T07:35:51+00:00

We did counseling for 4 months, and the main thing the counselor guy said as an indicator that things were over is if the friendship is gone. .. because if there is no friendship, there's no glue keeping you together...

The nail in the coffin for me was after 4 months of counseling and finding a long list of issues we needed to work through, she was done... she said she had no desire to put any effort into healing or fixing anything...

I found out months later that she had been seeing a guy at her new job the entire length of the counseling....

Conscious-Ad-7338 · 2025-02-25T06:05:08+00:00

I knew it was over when she showed up to court, better dressed and more collected that I've ever seen her in our entire relationship, even better that our wedding day, entered the witness stand, and committed perjury in broad daylight by testifying to the judge she was afraid for her safety, that I abused our newborn kids, and that she would like the restraining order that separated me from them for several months renewed. And all her evidence and allegations were bullshit. I've never treated anyone better in my whole life. She was just butthurt I caught her betraying me, and went to that length rather than take accountability. Unforgivable behavior. At some point, the violation is too much and its on, and its on and no one can say anything about it

oak1andish · 2025-02-25T11:59:00+00:00

Same situations as you, OP, it was over when counseling was rebuffed - wouldn’t even give it a try despite me funding it (like everything else). That’s when it was over. Nothing about the marriage would change, in fact, it was going to get worse.

At least propose counseling to get the reaction. Maybe your answer will be as clear as mine.

Slowloris81 · 2025-02-25T14:02:09+00:00

When she physically assaulted me. That was a red line that was crossed and there was no turning back at that point.

Title	When did you know it was over?
Author	Recent_Impress_3618
Upvotes	8
Comments	19
Date	February 25, 2025 5:28 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ixnmqj/when_did_you_know_it_was_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-did-you-know-it-was-over.1544891 https://theredarchive.com/post/1544891

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