The other night, I went out with a couple of guys here in Spain. We were doing some bar game - basically just chatting, laughing, talking to girls at around 10 or 11 pm. The vibe was light. We were in a playful, joking mood.

I approached a group of three girls while my two friends hung back, and I was just being silly - breaking the fourth wall, making jokes. At some point, I casually said, “Yeah, I do daygame. I like meeting women in real life. So I just go approach them on the street.” I said it in a fun way, with a smile, not taking myself too seriously.

One of the girls turned out to be bisexual, and also very into feminism - two things that, for a lot of guys, would instantly trigger a “uh-oh, this won’t go well” reaction. But guess what?

We had good banter. She was laughing, and she liked the idea of daygame when I explained it as, “Hey, instead of flirt on apps, I like to talk to girls in the real world. And after work I just go to a busy street, have my daily walk and when I see a girl that I like, I go talk to her”

Now, here’s where it gets interesting.

My acquaintance - one of the guys I was with - jumped in. He’s big on masculinity stuff, which is fine, but the way he phrased it was:

"Yeah, we’re basically bringing back masculinity.”

Immediately, the same girl responded with, “Ugh, that sounds kind of toxic.”

Now, here’s the thing: what he meant and what I meant were almost identical. He wasn’t trying to be aggressive or anything. He just meant, “Don’t be soft, don’t hide behind your phone, take charge of your life, talk to women in real life.” That’s essentially what I was saying too.

But because he used the frame of “masculinity” (a word that’s emotionally charged for a lot of women), it got shut down.

Meanwhile, my frame - “I’m a regular guy who likes women, and I prefer to flirt in real life instead of online” - got a completely different response.

Same core message. Totally different outcomes.

You can say two things that are basically the same, but depending on how you frame them, you’ll get completely different reactions.

This is why I’m very intentional about how I frame things in my posts. You’ll notice I don’t use typical “pickup” lingo. I don’t say stuff like “game” or “gaming girls” - not because I’m scared of the terms, but because they don’t frame things in a helpful or accurate way.

“Gaming someone” sounds manipulative. “Pickup” makes it sound like you’re trying to “win” something.

I’d rather say:

“I like to meet women. I enjoy flirting. Instead of doing it on dating apps, I do it in real life.”

Simple. Honest. Human.

That’s a frame people can understand - even respect.

So here’s the takeaway: When you’re talking about what you’re doing (especially with women), be mindful of your frame. You’re not hiding or sugar-coating anything - you’re just telling the truth in a way that reflects the full picture.

And it’s not only about how you frame these things to others but more importantly how you frame things in your own mind.