How much rejection is necessary? How to get over it?

SeaOk4403 · 2025-06-24T20:32:41+00:00

4 times, and you claim cold approach never works. Read that again. Let me try this. I went to the gym 4 times and I'm not lean muscular like you, I'm going to claim the gym doesn't work for me. This is what you sound like for your question. I'm sure you get my point.

Ok, now in all seriousness. To answer your question, yes, you have to keep trying. You're gonna have to understand that not, even though you're muscular and handsome, not everyone is gonna find you 100% attraction throw themselves at you proactively. And not everyone is in the right space and time to be getting it on with you right there and then. Like it's just unrealistic.

But the good thing is that you already have a good foundation of physical attraction, so you're already ahead of many. Not many men have had the experience of being approached and chased before by a women, so you really need anymore confirmation that you're physically attractive. Like at some point, you know someone else will come along and approach you at some point. Find a way to get that insecurity out of your head.

But don't just take a ride on good looks and random chances. Take advantage of it. There's bound to be a single girl out there who's looking for a good looking guy to ask them out. Find them. Come back when you've met and mingled 100-200 single women. Or maybe you won't, because you'll be too busy smashing.

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2025-06-24T21:25:47+00:00

internalize that every rejection gets you closer to getting laid, if you aim to become a good pua you have to ebrace rejerction , welcome it with open arms, not be cared by it, and approach women like a machine, like it s avideo game lol

UrbanUnrivaled · 2025-06-24T20:45:30+00:00

The amount of rejection necessary is the amount that is needed until you learn something and get better…and from there, more rejections will come until you reach a new level and so on and on

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-06-24T21:26:55+00:00

I've done literally thousands of cold approaches in my life but I wouldn't say there's an exact number. It's just once you get to the point that you don't feel dejected and move on like it's absolutely nothing. Like you can literally forget about it 10 min later.

epimpstyle · 2025-06-24T21:47:23+00:00

I gave her a compliment, asked a question,

Why did you give her a compliment? Haven't you seen beautiful girls in your life so far? Imagine working in a place with top models and seeing beautiful women daily; will you still be amazed and mesmerized when you see a beautiful lady on the street? I guess no, because theoretically, you will get used to beautiful ladies; you will treat her like a normal person and you will not be amazed by her beauty.

If a girl didn't put in any effort to look good, but you still give her a compliment, it seems very cheap, and she knows this. It's much better to be creative and forget about the initial compliment. Use them later in the discussion once they are 'hooked,' not at the beginning.

A compliment is very good when you see that she's spent a few hours to look good, like during nightgame when she's dressed nicely and wearing makeup. In that case, a compliment will land well. Otherwise, it looks very cheap, and it's better to start with something else.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-06-24T20:17:10+00:00

"When one door closes, another opens."

It's all about changing your perspective.

Chicagoj1563 · 2025-06-24T21:08:10+00:00

I can imagine your approaches are very logical, very normal conversation.

Think of self amusement where you don’t really care what happens. You just want to have fun with people. Say a few off the wall things, tease a bit, all in a self amusing way. Or a confident way. Never take any of it seriously. Say things you would never say normally. Mix this in with normal conversation. You have to not care what happens and focus on the moment instead. It’s a vibe.

But get out of logic mode.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-06-25T08:07:27+00:00

It takes as long as it takes for you to relax and not see strangers as 'threatening'; at minimum in that environment, at that time.

You don't need the 'core confidence' to conquer every situation but you do need an end output that's charismatic and fun, not self-concerned and anxious.

In the same respect that you consume media that's popular and has some degree of production-value, there has to be some objective quality to how you present yourself. You can't anxiously and hesitantly talk to a woman and be confused why she doesn't want it to continue.

kenbsmith3 · 2025-06-25T18:35:44+00:00

Well, I can tell from this post that you are not in the right headspace for approaching, you're not supposed to care about the outcome. There's obviously a healthy desire for what you want to happen of course, but this post reads and getting way too much pressure on the conversation.

Women can smell that fear instantly bro, it's a huge turn off to them. With that said, you can keep going out there and practicing.

It sounds like you described someone who it's not ugly, but for myself who is ugly, it took me 153 attempts before I started to understand my particular style of flirting, and get the responses from women I wanted.

Don't give up, keep putting yourself out there, rejection is a normal part of the game. If you're looking for tips, I'm happy to send some videos

ShakaPiontkowskie1 · 2025-06-25T19:46:13+00:00

Look at a child learning how to walk, and relate that to every skill set in existence. Children don't count their attempts and say "if I don't get it next try, I'm quitting!" or "if walking doesn't come easy, I'm stopping this!" They simply keep going UNTIL they learn to walk. Amount of time, irrelevant. Number of tries, also irrelevant. Fear and criticism, goo goo ga ga. They DO until they HAVE IT DOWN.

Extrapolate this example to cold approach. JUST KEEP APPROACHING UNTIL YOUR OPENS WORK. KEEP APPROACHING UNTIL YOU'VE GOTTEN THE HANG OF IT, then decide if you want to keep doing it.

In any skill you've actually learned, notice that you NEVER counted how many screwups you went through, you smoothly and levelheadedly went through the process. Apply that mentality to here.

readonlyuser · 2025-06-26T19:08:20+00:00

4 approaches??!!! Bro, you could get 100 approaches under your belt in a weekend. You are way too green to start drawing conclusions about whether cold approach works or doesn't work. 4 is frankly a pathetically small sample size.

FirmGuitar5411 · 2025-06-25T04:27:13+00:00

To. I drop so many bags over txt. I will literally get 3-4 numbers in a week, get a txtx back then either get rejected for a date or ghosted after a few messages.

FirmGuitar5411 · 2025-06-25T07:01:32+00:00

I have fumbled so much bro

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-06-25T21:18:23+00:00

The funny thing is once you get over your approach anxiety, rejection is rare . Assuming you know how to initiate conversations properly ( narrative+ body language) you almost never get rejected. I get a couple of "rejections" per week and it's usually just women returning like they didn't hear me. Once you get experienced toi will see that fear of rejection is mostly scenarios built in your head .

Title	How much rejection is necessary? How to get over it?
Author	bert_cj
Upvotes	16
Comments	29
Date	June 24, 2025 8:06 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ljlhcr/how_much_rejection_is_necessary_how_to_get_over_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-much-rejection-is-necessary-how-to-get-over-it.1555484 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555484

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