Advice from a once divorced, former RedPill man

GladysSchwartz23 · 2025-10-27T02:20:03+00:00

I'm glad you're seeing that the red pill has nothing to offer you, OP. I hope you find a happy relationship.

mammajess · 2025-10-27T03:27:21+00:00

What gets me is when they target Asian women from developing countries/areas. Those women are tough as hell and so pragmatic! They can think about men just from the perspective of resources, and it's very normal because they're practical. From my experience as an Australian white woman who has spent a lot of time with Asian people no group of people have been brainwashed to be romantic about relationships (and therefore men) as much as white women! I think I'm not saying one approach is better than the other necessarily but if you want to be loved unconditionally you're more likely to get that from a woman who has been conditioned against being a "gold digger" than someone from a culture in which those qualities are seen as having good sense and bringing resources into the family. Just my thoughts...

evacygre · 2025-10-27T01:27:29+00:00

So the only reason you are not red pilled is for a whole other still sexist reason? What are these generalizations?

What happened before your divorce? I just don't believe when I hear the "divorce came out of nowhere"... You had all this experience and the only thing you learned is that these women will just use you for a green card? No self reflection? If you are not honest with yourself and do at least some self criticism, you will probably run into the same issues in your next relationship, with an American or not.

Also, if she really was just using you like that... Did you do any self reflection as to why you ended up in this relationship? Did you do therapy after that since it seems like a big traumatic betrayal? Either way, i think there is something missing from this narrative.

Polish_Girlz · 2025-10-27T03:46:42+00:00

If you're looking for someone to do your bidding (so to speak), she's looking for someone to do her financial bidding.

DenverKim · 2025-10-27T05:56:10+00:00

I think one of the problems with young men today is that many of them aren’t even going to college and if they do, they’re too busy hustling, working or racking up debt to even think about trying to meet their future wives. And for obvious reasons, most of the women going to college are definitely not looking for a husband at that point in their lives.

I’m pretty neutral when it comes to college and I don’t think people should be pressured into it the way they used to be because the cost is often just not worth it. At the same time, when they don’t go to college, they miss out on a ton of social opportunities.

I wish our society functioned in a way where young people didn’t have to go into debt for life just in order to have the college experience. But when they don’t go, they often just end up sitting at home playing video games in their free time and they never meet their future wife because all they do is go to work and come home.

That, and people meeting their spouses at work actually used to be pretty common. Whereas today, our culture has gotten really puritanical when it comes to dating coworkers and whatnot. Our current rat race just isn’t built in a way that is conducive for young men (or women) to grow into happy, healthy sane people… and it’s definitely not conducive to creating families.

But I agree with your sentiment when it comes to passport bros. I think what most of them refuse to acknowledge is that the only real reason they think that strategy will work for them is because the type of women they are specifically targeting are the type of women who view the American life as being idyllic and will happily pretend to be in love with a man (and pretend to “submit” to him) to get it, while most women who grew up in America already know that it is not idyllic, and they don’t need to pretend to be in love with a man to get anything. And yes, those women will often leave those men as soon as they get the citizenship they came here for. It’s a very foolish strategy for any man hoping for any kind of long-term happiness… but if we are being honest, it’s a pretty solid strategy for the women in these scenarios.

Kaicaly · 2025-10-28T21:18:45+00:00

I totally agree with you in many things, just I think it would be good to add some perspective in the socially problematic phenomenon just in case.

First, let me introduce myself: I am a Latina woman (Venezuelan, with both Venezuelan parents, and currently living in Argentina). Now, I'm not going to say that what you went through wasn't wrong, because it definitely was. The fact that this person used you to obtain the green card is reprehensible and clearly left a mark on you and caused you great pain. It was a betrayal of your trust, your love, and to yourself as a person.

On the other hand, we must also remember that not all Latin American people and women will act this way; it depends greatly on their socioeconomic backgrounds and personal value systems. As a Latina woman, I know that there are those who take such measures out of desperation due to their personal situation and idealization of foreigners, but as a Latina woman, I also know several who would never do such a thing. I myself would hate myself if I ever did something like that. I would be lying if I told you that in Latin America, seeking marriage solely for legal gain isn't a subject of constant criticism and questioning.

Now Geomaxxing is an idea is so wrong in so many ways too. On one hand, it is based on an idealization of a foreigner whom they neither know nor bother to want to know, a fetishization of Latinas and stereotypes of a culture that they don't even care about to aknowledge at all, because they don't even bother to see them as people (with their good and bad qualities, their nuances and complexities, and even less so with their social, economic, and cultural depths). They are not looking for a real partner, someone they see as their equal, but rather a fetishized doll that only exists to fulfill their misogynistic wet dreams.

Due to foreign influence, constant political problems, and harsh poverty Latinos have to face day by day where many barely manage to survive, it's normal for many in Latin American countries to idealize the life in European countries and the United States... you know, that "American dream". And although it has some basis (we cannot deny that being born and living in a more economically and politically stable country gives you way more opportunities to develop yourself than being born in a country with bad political and economic conditions), it can also cause problems when it comes to the relationship between people from poor or precarious countries and people from developed countries (one example being your case). This is a whole debate in itself (even here in Latin America), as there are many Latinos who, in their idealization of Europeans or Americans, end up in abusive relationships (and I am referring to hierarchical relationships where the European or American abuses and mistreats the Latino, because they enter into a reality where the one from the developed countrie has much more power in the relationship, from their political, social, and economic position, to that cultural idealization that places them in a status far above the Latino, in which this last one ends up in a vulnerable conext which is easier to be used, abused and thrashed out).

That's why proposals like geomaxxing make me feel nauseous, because they are so wrong in every way. With proposals like that, you're not looking for a partner, you're not looking for a person; you're looking for something to use to satisfy personal desires (and this would go both ways, wheter the one from a Europe or America seeking for a desperated person that would accept anything just for the sake of getting out of their messy socio-economical rut or the person from the precarious country searching for a easy way out even if it means using and betraying other people).

With this i'm not saying a healthy relationship between, for example a Latina and and American, can't exist; beucause they can. But for this to work, both parties need to see the other one not as an easy ticket to their personal gain but as an actual person, with their complexitie and layers, someone with whom both parties have to take the time to meet and aknowledge, to seek respect from one another, and try to built an actual human relationship. Something that even many redpillers don't care at all, when the give their "dating strategies"

Confident-Feature-32 · 2025-10-28T22:20:00+00:00

Dam they taught us this in the Army. Don’t go marrying a foreigner because they’re using you for the citizenship. When you get back, in a few years they’ll divorce your ass. Idk maybe because I was taught at 18 about this, but I had to go in with low expectations from women when it came to relationships both overseas and domestically because of the status of being in the military.

Being raised by a woman and being around my mother’s friends I’ve seen how they are at a young age. Seen a lot of craziness of women while I was in the military so women aren’t bubbly and innocent to me as media wants to label them.

Redpill is true in a sense, it just boils down to how experienced you are with women and how many interactions you’ve had with them. The more you’re around women, the more you’ll see how true Redpill is. The key is not getting angry and hating women and that’s where Redpill gets its hate. Don’t get mad you just got to understand.

Mouse1701 · 2025-10-27T08:39:23+00:00

This is about the dumbest statement I ever heard of

Ranziel · 2025-11-05T09:12:01+00:00

Pretty supportive of redpill. You were the betabuxx and when you no longer could provide the buxx she hopped off. Women date up, so obviously she dumped you once she got on your level.

Title	Advice from a once divorced, former RedPill man
Author	SpecialistPrint4142
Upvotes	52
Comments	37
Date	October 27, 2025 1:13 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1oh1ian/advice_from_a_once_divorced_former_redpill_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/advice-from-a-once-divorced-former-redpill-man.1565089 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565089

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