I need to not be living at this house... how?

BigBubbaMac · 2025-10-31T14:01:46+00:00

Bro, I feel your frustration. There are so many parallels to my story. I was willing to sleep in my truck at my worst point. I think I am fortunate in the fact that she got hooked on prescription pills and got physically violent. I was able to get a restraining order and have her legally removed from the house.

Is there any way to move just enough stuff in the garage for a sleeping area?

Mysterious-Art8838 · 2025-10-31T00:57:55+00:00

‘give her a cash allowance’

Make sure you do this. If you lock down all the money a judge is not going to be pleased.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-10-30T23:05:54+00:00

Cohabitation during divorce/separation creates a specially crafted hell on earth.
Expect to go through you lowest lows while cohabitating, once you are on your own, I can't tell you how euphoric it will be. So worth it for your mental health to get out if you legally can.

DivorcedStoic · 2025-10-30T23:05:53+00:00

That’s a really tough situation to be in. It must be incredibly frustrating.

When you’re stuck like that, it’s even more important to remind yourself that some things are out of your control, and you have to accept that. All you can do is handle what is in your control and put in the time to get through this.

Maybe the space you need to make for yourself is the space in your mind to focus on yourself and getting through this process. It’s easier said than done, but focusing on what you can control will help you get through this.

kumest · 2025-10-30T21:31:27+00:00

I recently moved to a separate room where there is a bed, did bring my table and PC here, I have all here I need, and peace. Before we where in the same room almost the whole time, it was feeling as she was draining my energy to keep happy, now alone I almost believe she cannot stand her own and I basically was feeling very very good from the first minute I was here. You need to make your way into that garage, there you have some privacy, can do your stuff, no one to complain or give bad looks.

Factastical · 2025-10-30T19:09:20+00:00

Be careful. The crooked judges won't make her go back to work. If court and divorce was fair, these lazy stay at home moms who think it a job, would be forced back to work. You are stuck because she is a sahm. You can't leave. Your case is one of the ones where you have to stay because she will be allowed to take your ability to leave and have a life while she enjoys doing nothing but enjoy the absolute privilege of being a stay at home nobody. You would be wise to stick around and force her back to work. Then leave

No_Pace2396 · 2025-10-30T18:51:06+00:00

A woman in your situation would take the kids and leave, or get you removed from the house. Move her ass into the garage with all her shit and take the bedroom.

DivorcedStoic · 2025-10-30T18:47:29+00:00

That’s a really tough situation to be in. Must be so frustrating.

When you’re stuck like that, it’s even more important to remind yourself that some things are out of your control, and you have to accept that. All you can do is handle what is in your control and put in the time to get through this.

Maybe the space you need to make for yourself is the space in your mind to focus on yourself and getting through this process. It’s easier said than done, but focusing on what you can control will help you get through this.

TheSmartLawGroup · 2025-10-30T18:28:15+00:00

There is no easy answer and you absolutely need to have an attorney to discuss your options and then make an informed plan. I don't know what the law is in your area, but you don't want to make a move until you know what the law is and you make a plan. You need to protect yourself as much as possible.

There are so many questions that need to be answered. Are you buying or renting? If buying, is there any equity in your home. If she is a SAHM, what is the plan once the divorce is complete? In Michigan, she can't just continue to stay at home - she would have to work. What is the custody/parenting time going to be? How old are the kids? What bills need to be paid? What is support going to look like?

You are entitled to "carve out" some space in your own home, but what is that going to look like, and is it worth the effort? I have seen many people that find a family member or friend to stay with on a short term basis (but that is easier said than done). These are just some of the questions that need to be discussed with your attorney. All that being said, I am sure hiring an attorney is not going to be easy either. Some men decide to focus on their children which might distract you from your "home life" and the SAHM.

Ultimately, when you are divorced, the two of you will be in different residences, so start thinking about what that looks like and start taking small steps to make that happen... after you talk with an attorney.

Reflog1791 · 2025-10-30T18:20:04+00:00

You may not be able to afford to divorce. You certainly can’t afford to move out right now unless you can stay at your parents’ for free and continue paying all the bills at your house.

Can you solve the problems at home? How untenable is the situation really?

One thing I learned is if YOU change, people treat you differently. If you try to change other people, it fails.

Just some ideas from the cheap seats. Clean your room. Leave her stuff alone but get your things tidy. Ease her out of this hoarder shit with grace and compassion.

Idk what to tell you but divorce or even separation while paycheck to paycheck is extremely risky for you and your kids and maybe not even feasible. You may have to lock down the cash flow before making any moves. Something like open new account, direct deposit into that, and give her a cash allowance. This is painful business.

LaughGlittering4131 · 2025-10-30T18:11:57+00:00

Why did you marry her?

Title	I need to not be living at this house... how?
Author	Cautious-Young-2690
Upvotes	4
Comments	31
Date	October 30, 2025 6:05 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ok70id/i_need_to_not_be_living_at_this_house_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-need-to-not-be-living-at-this-house-how.1565366 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565366

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