My STBX has been talking divorce over the last several years. I own the fact that I contributed much to the failure of our marriage but I have never told her I wanted a divorce. Despite how difficult things have been over the years I have believed from a moral perspective that I had no grounds to divorce her. She has always been the one to raise the idea. I’ve told her on various occasions that if a divorce is what she wanted I wouldn’t fight it. I’ve always had the perspective that if she wants to leave she needs to initiate it.

Over the last several months things really deteriorated between us. On September 1 she told me she was done and wanted out. It took me a week or two to come around but I eventually agreed it would be for the best. Since then we have talked off and on about various details and we are very close to starting the process.

Today we discuss the actual filing process and I told her I was expecting her to file. She was furious that I was leaving it up to her to file and claims that I am doing it to make myself the victim. I didn’t explain my reasoning and I don’t know that it would have mattered.

She made the “victim” comment based on some other things I said and did regarding our divorce where I did portray myself as a victim in some ways. I apologized for that and have done my best to clear things up.

Am I in the wrong here by electing to let her do the filing? How do I explain my perspective to her? Do I even bother to try?