What do you talk about on first dates?

S-Tier_Commenter · 2025-11-16T17:08:02+00:00

The politics behind the Spanish Civil war, obviously

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-11-16T16:29:39+00:00

interests,hobbies,passions,traveling, dreams, preferences.

The point is to get to know them.

Comprehensive-War-34 · 2025-11-16T16:30:14+00:00

You should be doing 70-80 percent of listening instead of talking. You should also be flirting and building sexual tension. That’s the main goal.

Kurigohan-Kamehameha · 2025-11-16T16:29:47+00:00

I ask questions about their life and then use those answers as an indication of what they might enjoy talking about

dominiquebache · 2025-11-16T16:24:32+00:00

How about listening (instead of talking)?

TotalFNEclipse · 2025-11-16T17:19:15+00:00

I screw this one up. I struggle with surface level convo and always dive into deep shit. It’s Normal for me, but I forget that it’s not normal for the majority of people.

val_br · 2025-11-16T17:11:35+00:00

It's a common effect of dating random people online. It's possible you have nothing in common, so you just move on and hope the next one is a better match.
That's why I dated mostly in my social circle, way easier to find things to talk about.

pferden · 2025-11-16T17:32:13+00:00

Marriage, herpes

schroedinger11 · 2025-11-16T17:11:41+00:00

Each other body counts

Vegetable_Anty · 2025-11-16T17:26:22+00:00

Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing naturally.

thesockson · 2025-11-16T17:27:43+00:00

Compliment them genuinely, people appreciate authenticity and attention.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-11-16T19:59:36+00:00

Anything you want within reason. I'd say hold off on topics like politics, marriage and views on starting a family that early. But they're all topics you will need to address once you become a serious couple. The same goes for religion. Most couples align politically and spiritually.

On a first date, though, do a lot of listening and find her interests. See how they match up with your own and try to find common ground. Don't hog the conversation by talking endlessly about yourself but don't be completely aloof either. You want her to be interested in knowing about you just as you are about her.

It shouldn't be an interview per se, but be realistic as you want to get a decent idea how you both vibe and if you both could potentially be a couple. If you observe any glaring red flags right off the bat, you may want to move on rather than waiting to see how they escalate. And if she drops information that is wildly different than your world view or otherwise a major deal breaker, then it's probably best to keep looking.

You can't be a perfectionist, but you also have to be observant and not date someone with traits that would be problematic for you both later on. That's how active listening helps. People will often tell a lot about themselves and you need to use that time to listen and evaluate. Don't use that time to tune her out and try to think of a million different things to say or different topics. Stay present in the moment.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-11-16T18:20:22+00:00

You want to speak with vibe. You connect better through vibe than through interviewish questions and answers.

Speaking with vibe means you are talking in the present moment, you aren't future pacing or past reconciling or prying for personal information or giving away too much about yourself.

Stay in the present moment by talking about the food, the music, the atmosphere...any observations about the present environment or situation using tranquil adjectives and share your opinion and ask hers, and she probably won't shut up about it.

You are literally better off talking about how the brilliant warm sunset strikes the calm waters or how your coffee is the pinnacle of sugar overload than talking about each other.

What this type of care free conversation does is show you are capable of being social and outcome detached at the same time which signals preselection, the most attractive trait.

zoikos · 2025-11-16T16:36:50+00:00

A lot changes when you take genuine interest in getting to know the person. Ask questions, share views, laugh together.

TripleDigitNomad · 2025-11-16T20:21:29+00:00

Each other lol

Sandvicheater · 2025-11-17T01:02:01+00:00

Hard PG-13 toeing the line to Rated R region is the key to getting her all interested and worked up but that shit only works if she has mutual attraction to you in the first place.

Bast0ne · 2025-11-17T01:53:50+00:00

She needs to talk more. You should listen attentively and, more than asking questions, make observations that make her think. You give me the impression that you like to stir things up. You seem like the type to get fixated on things. Things like that. Look for topics related to experiences, emotions, or perceptions. Make physical contact when greeting her; touch her waist or lower back firmly but not too forcefully. When sitting down, have your foot touch hers. When you have things in common, give her a high five. Go relaxed and in a good mood. Your energy is always contagious. Lead the date; suggest where to go, what to eat, and which route to take. Be polite to the staff wherever you take her. Make eye contact and encourage her to nod and smile during the date. A good cologne and outfit will always help. Pay attention to details like your beard, nose hair, ears, shoes, fresh breath, and clean teeth.

GKoala · 2025-11-17T16:14:42+00:00

Spring board from one to another. Pay attention to what they're saying and build off of it. Like they said they visited X city. Ask them what they liked about it or would they recommend. Then they say they tried this really good x food place. Then you can share your best x food you've tried or ask about their other food likes. But most importantly, always try to make your questions open ended, rarely should they be yes or no questions.

But ultimately, don't try to force it. Feed off their vibe, if they're short answers move on. And it's best to recognize when there just isn't synergy and no them. Tell them you don't think you're vibing that will, because I understand you want to get laid but ultimately it gets tiring doing all the work when the other party doesn't reciprocate. The pussy will be about the same as the conversation.

LuxeSirens · 2025-11-17T19:13:21+00:00

first date checklist : good conversation, strong hands, and a cock that would make me forget my name haha

ComplexTell25 · 2025-11-17T19:38:09+00:00

RemindMe! 4 days

Title	What do you talk about on first dates?
Author	HedgehogOk3756
Upvotes	39
Comments	51
Date	November 16, 2025 4:19 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oypu3q/what_do_you_talk_about_on_first_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-you-talk-about-on-first-dates.1566651 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566651

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