Is it true that women over 30 are seen as lower value by men or don’t get quality male attention?

bullhead1987 · 2025-12-11T12:43:20+00:00

Dude here. Never forget that 99% of guys who are on the internet talking about women hitting the wall, etc etc are men who are not able to connect with women. The online manosphere is a big echo chamber of these men

Normal guys who actually have relationships with women are not sitting around generalizing and categorizing them by age

ArkNemesis00 · 2025-12-10T17:25:27+00:00

Ignore manosphere content - or any content for that matter - that's not benefitting your life. It's a space for men that serves many purposes, including some amount of cope and some amount of anger fueling (anger being the emotion that best inspires human to change their situation). It's not really meant to benefit you at all and I wouldn't let morbid curiosity about locker room talk get the better of you.

Plenty of people find great partners in their 30s. That said, the average age for first marriage in the US is like 28 for women and 29 for men, meaning the dating pool is going to be less than half of what it was in your 20s by the time you get to your 30s. Some of the men in their 30s weren't ready in their 20s and are otherwise good catches. Some of the single men in this age group will be divorced with kids.

I believe it's true that a lot of the "good ones" for both men and women will be in serious relationships by the time they turn 30 and therefore will be unavailable. Now if you live in a city or a state with higher average ages for marriages you can breathe a little easier.

Specifically for beauty, TRP is mostly basing its opinion based on studies that find men consistently rate women in their early 20s as the most beautiful regardless of the age of the man. Women tend to rate men a handful of years older than them as the most attractive, regardless of the age of the woman. Sometimes these findings go through a bit of a game of telephone and some men are over-extrapolating to conclude older women can't be highly desirable. Most men will marry roughly within their age bracket. My husband personally thinks of going for a younger woman as a sign that a man can't impress a woman his age.

It's likely true (unless you've done a glow up or make drastic changes) that you won't be as good looking at 30 as you were at 20. I'm not talking about female gaze beauty, male gaze tends to specifically gravitate towards youthful factors like a higher percentage of buccal fat that women don't particularly value in their own faces. A lot of women probably find themselves more attractive at 30 than 20, a lot of this being gaining more confidence and putting more time/effort/money in and such.

However, you can still be pretty freaking hot to men in your 30s and easily meet a man's threshold for what he finds attractive. So take decent care of yourself and don't sweat the small stuff too much. You only need one man to get married and share a life with, after all. The numbers don't have to be overwhelming in your favor for you to have a solid chance at happiness.

Trick-Consequence-18 · 2025-12-10T17:12:05+00:00

I think it’s helpful to think of like… in your youth you have potential. During that time it’s important that YOU develop that potential (spiritual, emotional, physical, interest, etc) so that when you are older you become more interesting.

I have found that as I got older and more developed as a person, the quality of men and my discernment for them increased!

Dating in my mid 30s was better and more productive than my early 20s.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2025-12-10T18:15:36+00:00

First, skip the neuroses; it doesn't help.

Second, it may be helpful to think about it this way, as a gentle slope and not a cliff. Will you have more options in your 20s? For most women, the answer is yes, because you are younger, fitter, and more fertile.

What to do about it: You don't say where you are in your 29s - could be 20, could be 29 - but if your goal is marriage and children, you should be vetting men for the qualities you are looking for in a partner.¹ If you are early to mid 20s that will give you time to properly vet men so you can have a relationship with one and get married in your late 20s. That doesn't mean you fall off of a cliff at 30, but everything is going to be easier in your 20s.

Do Everything You Can To Raise Your SMV

Men care about looks and fitness. Make sure you take care of your body - AFAIK, "Yoga" is some sort of curdled milk thing made by Dannon and "Pilates" is a Greek Philosopher, but I do know that women who talk about them and go to their meetings seem to be attractively shaped.

Take care of your skin and hair. I'm a Rule 9 Violation, so no idea what a lady's regimen should be in that regard but plenty of ladies here can tell you. Don't overdo tanning and wear a mineral based sunscreen, and not just on your face.

Don't Neglect Your RMV

If you don't know how to cook, learn. This is a secret weapon for Western women because the only thing so many women in the West can make is reservations.² Not only will you be able to reel in Mr. Right, but you will also be able to enjoy delicious meals while you wait for him to appear.

So anyway, don't panic; everyone gets older, but the less damage you have from bad relationships and the more you work on your fitness and health the better off you will be, and the more you will maximize your chances.

¹ Hint: At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is character. When you get your mammogram and there's a spot on it that shouldn't be there, you want the guy who is going to hold you and tell you "It will be ok. We'll get through this." Not the guy who is going to pack a bag and leave.

² As my userid indicates, I spend time in E. Europe, and when I tell this to women there they look at me like I just said smth crazy and then say smth like "From the time we are 6 we are helping our moms and grannies in the kitchen."

sine120 · 2025-12-11T17:42:38+00:00

Manosphere content mostly appeals to the scorned man. These men aren't interacting with women beyond a revenge fantasy. The men you want will like women, and manosphere men don't like women. Age might make them slightly less appealing, but there are plenty of things within your control to make a year or two irrelevant.

The only caveat you should consider is family planning with multiple kids. If you want one, you can be fairly confident you'll be able to meet your family goals nearly until your 40's. If you want 4, with breaks in between for your body to recover, it will be difficult to guarantee success if you start at 32.

kspinner · 2025-12-10T18:13:52+00:00

You will get less attention in your 30s but it mainly filters out the creepiest and most obnoxious, vapid men. It's pretty great. If you're say 20, you do not want the men who only want a 20-year-old. If you're a virgin, you also don't want the men who only want a virgin. They're the worst. Found that one out the hard way. So yes you won't get as much attention, yes you're seen as lower value by SOME men, but you will not get less "quality" attention.

NationalMouse · 2025-12-10T17:13:10+00:00

Not true at all. My sister was 35 with 2 kids, a hot body, and a pretty face when she got a divorce and her experience? So many men still wanted to date her. Why? In her words “Men want to date an age-appropriate woman but the only problem is a lot of women don’t look good for their age.” So if you look good for your age over 30 you’re golden. Now she is 47 and married to a wonderful provider and even moved to a better city for him.

Retired401 · 2025-12-10T21:11:07+00:00

Over 30 means less fertile, objectively speaking. It used to be that everyone wanted to have kids, and that isn't so much the case anymore. So it really kind of depends on whether a man is interested in having a family.

As far as "manosphere content," I'm too old for most of that at 52. But I did read Orion Taraban's book "The Value of Others" and I pretty much agree with the case he has laid out for the transactional nature of male-female relationships. A lot of people don't like that kind of talk, but I feel like I can answer based on my own experiences. And based on those, Dr. Taraban is on the money.

Extra_Newspaper5440 · 2025-12-10T20:51:52+00:00

I don't really care because I'm already married lol but I'm pretty happy at 30, I feel better than I used to in my 20s.

sebastianconcept · 2025-12-11T19:55:46+00:00

True. But looks do help. Shape is King (Queen in this case) is the safest bet.

setsurenka · 2025-12-10T17:13:43+00:00

Men aren't a monolith any more than we are, and "quality" can mean very different things depending on who you ask.

My social group is mostly made of high-income office workers aged 35 - 45, both men and women have master's degrees. In my world, a significant proportion of fit men seeking to settle down (if that's how you define "quality") are vocal about how they perceive women in their 20s to be too immature to be life partners and therefore low value. Once when I was 29 I was turned down for a first date solely because he thought I was 25.

Most of the married men, are with women who are roughly the same age and socioeconomic level. This pattern doesn't hold true everywhere but obviously I only care about my arena. You need to take an objective look around yours and see what patterns there are.

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2025-12-10T16:53:51+00:00

It’s not as black a white as that but there’s a degree of truth. Now is probably the time when you are your most attractive, so it behooves you to leverage this opportunity to attract the highest quality man you can and secure commitment via high RMV traits.

If that doesn’t happen for whatever reason, it doesn’t mean you can’t start a relationship later in life, but you may not be able to attract the same quality of men that you can now. Or maybe you will, who knows?

These are generalizations. If you have poor RMV now (including high neuroticism) you may not be capable of securing commitment, so it doesn’t really matter who you can attract if you can’t seal the deal.

funeralb1tch · 2025-12-11T20:13:45+00:00

I think the issue is that a lot of women (obviously not all, but quite a number of them) assume their physical attractiveness will be all they need to obtain a quality mate. As we age, when the attitude is a shitty one, the looks start to match the attitude and the beauty fades. Women who bank on just their looks don't really invest in the rest of their personality, hobbies, etc. This ends up resulting in someone relatively shallow and uninteresting which starts to become very apparent. Yes, looks are obviously important but if that's all someone has to offer, that's usually not going to go very far. Generally speaking, most men don't want JUST a pretty face. If they're intelligent, they also want substance and depth to along with it.

Clearly I'm not saying age = ugly. Just think of how seemingly pretty women with ugly attitudes start to have the outside match the inside. The opposite goes for older ladies with beautiful light and zest for life inside them that radiates out. That beauty also becomes more apparent and luminous with age too, so it's all about which path you want to travel.

Least_Elk_9532 · 2025-12-10T20:40:25+00:00

A lot of times I get scared thinking about this too (I’m 22) but then I remember dating now isn’t even the best. Most guys my age are still learning just like I am and the older guys who want to deal with me , contrary to popular belief, aren’t quality themselves and usually suffer from Peter Pan syndrome.

The guys who are more established and an appropriate age (late 20s, early 30s) flirt and would have sex with early 20s women but tend to settle down with women their age.

eluusive · 2025-12-10T22:32:08+00:00

It is hyperbolized. However, men generally want to marry when they are younger. It is also more difficult to have children in your 30s. It is also true that a lot of 20 year olds prefer to date older, so a guy your age in your 30s will start having more options if he's established himself.

psychoactiveavocado · 2025-12-11T00:36:01+00:00

Saw some other comments here touching on this: every age group has people that look good for their age.

For example, my husband’s mom is in her mid 60s, widowed, but she looks better than 95% of ppl her age (no surgery, just from taking incredible care of herself). Her inbox is flooded, there are many men trying to pursue her including politicians, judges, other successful fields. They do favors for her and message her constantly trying to win her over. She is confident and knows her value.

Another point: before me my husband dated a couple women who were in their 40s & 50s while he was in his 20s. There is a whole subset of men who actually ADMIRE mature women and find it incredibly sexy. Maybe it’s weird, but talking to my husband about this made me feel a lot better about aging.

So no, you are not necessarily lower value over 30. If you take exceptional care of yourself and focus on your appearance and character, there will always be men who will appreciate and value you. It is always possible to take care of yourself better than most other ppl in your age group and that WILL make a woman stand out and be desired.

There are absolutely beautiful and desirable women of every age- but I believe it becomes much more rare to be beautiful as age increases, because most people neglect their health severely

NeoSailorMoon · 2025-12-10T19:15:30+00:00

Different men have different perspectives and understanding of value.

Yes, to some men women have less or no value after age 30, or even 25, but those aren’t very good men anyway. A sustainable, longterm relationship is not possible unless they choose an equally superficial and vapid mate.

Find the ones that understand women increase in value with age as they obtain higher wisdom, emotional regulation, stability, skillsets, etc.

I love the perspectives of older women, and their wisdom keeps evolving and ripening with age. For the first time in my life, I’m actually excited to get old. Have you ever heard a wise granny lecture? That shit is priceless.

Twenties are for having fun, learning and adapting to adulthood, and defining your identity.

eveningberry- · 2025-12-10T21:49:05+00:00

I’m 31 and get more male attention now than I did in my twenties 😂

Do you know any single women in their 40s? I do and they have just as colorful of a dating life as those younger, and people still look good in their 40s

It’s a huge cope from insecure men that women 30+ are ignored or thought of as old. They’re fantasizing about Stacy getting old and ugly while they age like fine wine and become millionaires, then all the young women will fight over them. Delulu af never going to happen 💀

TheAceOfSpades115 · 2025-12-10T17:20:26+00:00

As a 27 year old male I will say that invariably preference is attraction to 22-24 year old women and I don’t think that will change into my 30s and 40s as is the case with a majority of men. I get a lot of matches on dating apps and if given the choice between a 33 year old woman and a 23 year old woman I’d choose the younger one because they are less likely to have already been married, have kids, they’ll have lower body count, and be more feminine/submissive. It’s just case of biology and options on the apps. I’m sure most women on apps will always choose the taller of two identical guys in the same way a guy would choose the younger of two women. A majority of men will be quite happy whatever age you are so remember that and if you’re meeting in person age will matter less to men once a connection is formed vs on the apps where they can filter you out before that happens.

Sweaty-Staff8100 · 2025-12-10T17:20:12+00:00

Thank god I didn’t end up with any of the men I was attracted to in my 20’s. I just turned 30 and my preferences and qualities I desire in a partner are night and day in comparison. Your 20’s are for self-discovery, emphasis on SELF, bc you literally JUST exited your teen years. You wouldn’t want to end up with a man who thinks a woman in her 30’s is “too old” lol, that’s crazy.

Working_Em · 2025-12-12T13:41:56+00:00

It’s not that anyone expires, lots of people genuinely desire their own cohort most as they age … but it’s also true that when many men age into their 30s or beyond they still see women who are closer to 20 as very attractive and none of this ‘too young’ or ‘she’s a kid’ nonsense.

The harder pill to swallow is that it’s not only ‘creeps’ but seemingly normal men you may desire that may feel that way. That’s just the same as anyone getting rejected for any reason though and it’s best not to discriminate.

triggerxwarning · 2025-12-14T01:32:43+00:00

I’m thirty years old and this has absolutely need my experience. My partner left me a few months after my thirtieth birthday (not observed) for someone else and I have been on several dates with several different men since, none of whom would even touch me (never mind fuck me) once they saw me in person.

IcarusKiki · 2025-12-14T12:36:58+00:00

No age doesn’t really factor much for “quality” attention what matters more is social class, proximity, and of course your appearance (more controllable than most think). people date the people around them

AJ_The_Best_7 · 2025-12-15T10:29:30+00:00

If you are a thirty year old man making 100k are you going to go for the 25 year old or 32 year old?

The twenty five year old more times than not. Age isn't the only factor in a relationship but quality men would rather go with a young fertile woman who makes 30k than a 32 year old who makes 100k.

Chicenomics · 2025-12-10T17:13:38+00:00

This is a generalization.

Women in their 30s can usually afford to spend more on their looks. Botox, filler, lasers. Plastic surgery etc. I think I look way better in my 30s because I had to means to looksmax a lot. So looks don’t decline that much… at least before 35.

I think what does deter men is that women in their 30s are more aware of the timeline. Many women are in a rush to get married, have a family etc. while women in their 20s can be more chill and fun. They have time to kill.

I met my husband when i was 21. He is an extremely high value man. We didn’t get married until 11 years later. He was very against marriage when we first met, but I never pressured him at all. He came around on his own… but I don’t know if I couldve waited if I were in my 30s.

So it’s not about the age, but about keeping yourself looking your best, being fun and supportive, not nagging… basically just keeping your girl game on point. Don’t lose the sparkle!

Sufficient-Cat6364 · 2025-12-11T02:54:17+00:00

I'm a multimillionaire doctor and I would have a casual encounter with a woman 30-35 (i'm 36)

But since I want to have kids I would definitely take a girl around 23-25 for nice healthy baby making over the course of a few years. If a woman were 35 and we started dating then we have our first child when she's 36-37 then we're already at 40 if we want to have a second. I love children, all children, I spent a lot of time as a kindergarten teacher in Asia and everyone always told me they could really tell how much I loved my job, but I don't see myself wanting to have a child with Down Syndrome.

It's not a productive thing to think about when you're already at the cliff, but I tell younger women like 22 that they really ought to use their youth to start a family instead of chasing fun because 30 will hit them harder than they could ever possibly imagine (at 22) but I imagine 29-30 is not a meaningful change at all. 25-30, night and day.

I mean, as guys we sometimes discuss feeling guilty about it like it almost feels cruel. Not that women don't do their own version of discriminating just as well if not better. The truth hurts.

AutoModerator · 2025-12-10T16:24:34+00:00

Title: Is it true that women over 30 are seen as lower value by men or don’t get quality male attention?

Author pompomkittycat

Full text: i’m in my 20s right now but very neurotic about the manosphere content that talks about women expiring at 30 or even 25 because no “quality” man would want an older woman etc etc.

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dbie22 · 2025-12-10T23:58:52+00:00

If you become a resentful hag, yes, you have less value in your 30s. But if you age happy and optimist I'd say you become more attractive.

Sadly most females age terribly due to riding the carousel through out their 20s.

anywineismywine · 2025-12-12T07:42:59+00:00

As others have said. Don't pay any attention at all to the manosphere or the majority of guys in reddit. I'm married with 2 children and regularly get hit on by men.

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