LTR got asked out by her classmate while next to me

alphaonthecomeup · 2021-04-12T15:43:17+00:00

Leave it alone. Don’t ever mention it. Mate guarding directly is an L. LTR for 2 years, you should be good.

Your girl will get hit on. It is her job to not entertain men. She said no. She did her job.

Do your job and continue being that guy.

Good luck bro

throwitdownman · 2021-04-12T17:21:04+00:00

Oh hell naw. I cannot tell what is more beta. Mate-guarding, or pretending, like some of the comments here, that this is nothing. Blissful ignorance can lead to a strong frame, but at least acknowledge the stupidity.

How many of you guys will COLD CALL a chick to go hiking? We’re talking boys who swallowed the pill. I find it hard to imagine the BP world having the balls to cold call a chick. Her hanging up was to cover her ass, I’m willing to bet this isn’t the first time he called, and typically the calls last longer.

Clearly she and this guy have had conversations. She and him have good vibes. Good enough vibes to give him the courage to randomly call. These vibes can be from hanging out IRL, to texting, to FaceTiming. Whether this is or isn’t a red flag depends on OP’s values - is signalling availability overtly a negative trait, or do you feel it’s AWALT and not worth soft-nexting / raising dread?

I’ve been around tons of women, and when women have boyfriends and are hit on by guys they are uninterested in, they will NAMEDROP their boyfriends, or say ‘I have a boyfriend’ without fail. Their socials are plastered with their BF as a deodorant for men. Girls who act aloof and go along with it are keeping their options open, enjoy the validation, and like the attention.

It doesn’t matter what HE did OP. Direct your anger at the situation - it took a blatant call for you to realize she’s keeping options open, that she has some red flags, and that maybe your grip on the relationship has slipped. You should at least reassess how stable the relationship is.

Dopaminedetoxing · 2021-04-12T21:32:33+00:00

I think people are missing the point with this one, lmk if Im wrong.

The argument shouldnt be 'is she cheating or not' or whatever that may be. You shouldnt care too much about it. The best way to mateguard is outcome independance. "You want to start an onlyfans?? Say less girl. kicks her out of the house"

If she cheats, big deal. You were working in yourself anyways, you are happy and have shit going on. A replacement should come in no time. And if she isnt, then why should you worry?

"Never worry about problems. If you can solve it, why worry? And if you can't, why worry?"

Learn a bit of frame and dread as you will need it in an LTR. Apart from that, you should be good g

muricanwerewolf1 · 2021-04-12T17:44:20+00:00

I've asked out women that never really gave me any signals beyond being friendly. Dogs are gonna hunt.

lilgoatedboy · 2021-04-12T16:19:43+00:00

Man, reading these comments and your replies..I know u said “maybe some other time” is different where you’re from, but if my girl said that to a date i’d be like “bitch u can go right now, bye” and literally left.

This has happened to my girl and she says “no, I have a boyfriend.”

5235235352 · 2021-04-12T18:12:09+00:00

Daily reminder your turn can end any second even if you do absolutely nothing wrong, all it takes is the right Alpha, the right time and the right place

Iwannaeatrp · 2021-04-12T16:32:19+00:00

Hmm how did he get her number is my question? Maybe they are just friends and she gave it to him but I’d be concerned she’s into him and just said no because you were right there. I don’t know, do you trust her?

sauceyzaddy · 2021-04-12T17:51:53+00:00

Listen op if she said no to him that means it’s still your turn. You are the chad she wants to be with. Don’t let anxiety into your relationship or it will ruin it for you.

Keep up the good work champ.

Any-Brick7489 · 2021-04-12T18:35:29+00:00

Mate, only you know your girlfriend and maybe if she’s overly nice saying “maybe some other time” would fit her character. However, the fact she didn’t say “I have a boyfriend” while she was NEXT to you should be a red flag or the fact this friend didn’t know she had a boyfriend is not a good look. If I were you, let this go but keep an eye out.

sixseven89 · 2021-04-12T17:17:10+00:00

it went about as well as you could ask for. next time don't ask who it is, but overall this is a good sign.

Kirder54 · 2021-04-12T18:42:46+00:00

Well, she didn't even give a good No while you were setting there. It would be one thing if you could have an expectation that she will no longer associate with him. She won't, she left the door open, didn't want to piss this guy off. You now know who her back up guy is and who she will be shacking up with when ya'll split.

My advice is this.. from what little I know here, she is a game player. Move on.

catsdontsmile · 2021-04-12T18:57:55+00:00

Guy sounds like a loser. Who calls on the phone? Way too invasive. She said maybe some other time but that's a no in chick language. She knows he's an orbiter and likes it

bandraboyz · 2021-04-12T20:14:12+00:00

Did she said...He never calls me, or he called me for the first time? If the first one then she isnt a ltr anymore

lolomotif12 · 2021-04-12T21:33:17+00:00

Leave it OP, just enjoy your turn for now.

send_it_for_the_boys · 2021-04-13T03:56:06+00:00

If you ask a girl out what’s the rule?????

If it’s not a fuck yes it’s a fuck no.

keep growing as a man & don’t sweat it...

soltanparham · 2021-04-12T16:10:01+00:00

she was bulshitting :

1 - if she didn't want to hangout at all , no reason to say " maybe another time" just a firm NO
2 - she mentioned he doesn't do these things , not only she lies but also other men do these , no need to give details and more info if you're not lying! giving extra bs is sign of lying

girls talk to other men , girls get asked to date by other men , it's normal and you can't do nothing about that
expect learning to make her obsessed with you ( my methods may seem abusive , but who cares? ) or not getting into shitty ltr , ltr is awful buddy, bud good luck.

ay-fuh-q · 2021-04-12T18:10:34+00:00

Red flags:

1) He can reach her. She gave her phone number to him. Big deal? Maybe. Maybe not. Could need to have some contacts in class. Plausible deniability for sure.

2) “Maybe some other time” is not an appropriate answer to some guy you supposedly don’t have an interest in. She would have made it known to him that she has a boyfriend and that it would be inappropriate.

The second issue is worse than the first issue... and takes away some of that “plausible” doesn’t it.

The more you downplay her reply to him, the more YOUR hamster is in overdrive.

kja200018 · 2021-04-12T20:15:51+00:00

I’m going to tell you that when I was young, I would just say can’t right now maybe another time. I didn’t have the guts to do to decline Simone bit instead push them away. You sound young and when you’re a female you tend to not want to hurt someone else’s feelings. You will probably have many more girlfriends though so don’t sweat it too much.

-Bran- · 2021-04-12T22:56:47+00:00

1) she shouldn’t have given out her number in the first place 2) she should have proudly stated she has a boyfriend

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jhx264 · 2021-04-12T15:43:16+00:00

Do not mate guard. If it comes up just act like the dude is so below you it's pathetic... call him out for being a simp/beta

aww what a nice guy - stuff like that

If you bring attention to it and start accusing her off sending iois you are just gonna get push back from her

StayClassySD1 · 2021-04-12T21:17:24+00:00

Look man we don't have the full picture here, you haven't told us much, but from what you HAVE said:

She didn't say: "no I have a boyfriend".... she said "no MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME" and YOU WERE EVEN IN THE ROOM. What would she have said if you weren't there at all? If I had to guess, she's probably gonna make plans with him behind your back for "some other time". Also yes she most likely gave him signals or he probably wouldn't be calling. Like I said we don't have the full picture, so I'm not saying you should dump her immediately or anything, but be aware and be cautious.

MoreAlfa · 2021-04-13T06:12:25+00:00

You cannot control her so stop worrying about her. You can control yourself.

_Icarus_Reborn_ · 2021-04-13T08:20:05+00:00

you don't just ask someone out randomly

Well, you ask out people who you are attracted to and want to fuck.

We would all be telling anyone one here to approach and ask for a date. That's what he did. And kudos to him for doing it. Doesn't matter to him she has a BF. Again, we would all say that and I bet even some TRP vets have banged girls that have stated they have bfs.

moto101 · 2021-04-13T16:45:39+00:00

How'd he get her number?

Tambamwham · 2021-04-13T16:53:06+00:00

Should have asked her about it on the spot. I’d look her in the eye and tell her that my gut is telling me she’s lying and there’s a lot I don’t know. And I’d want to know why another guy has her phone number. Then I’d tell her that I need to see her phone or she’s free to do as she pleases and we can be casual or go our seperate ways.

froze_gold · 2021-04-12T18:10:56+00:00

My question is, did your girlfriend hand out her number to this person? Why does he have it?

Freedom__Fighter · 2021-04-12T17:53:48+00:00

How does he have her number might be an important question for you to ask yourself. Don't ask her.... you already know why....

Wellbidlo · 2021-04-12T18:10:03+00:00

you should just ignore her until she apologized for having a guy on side lollll

mchnic5 · 2021-04-12T21:23:05+00:00

"Maybe some other time" common op just dont want to hear truth i think.

SteveSan82 · 2021-04-12T22:38:38+00:00

Why does he have her number? Maybe next time? Why are You even in an LTR?

LTR got asked out by her classmate while next to me

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Title	LTR got asked out by her classmate while next to me
Author	Iwannaeatrp
Upvotes	154
Comments	100
Date	April 12, 2021 3:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/mpgfk2/ltr-got-asked-out-by-her-classmate-while-next-to-/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-got-asked-out-by-her-classmate-while-next-to.1598672 https://theredarchive.com/post/1598672