Curious about the Red Pill Perspective on opposite sex friendships.

Nonmedicated · 2014-03-02T16:54:54+00:00

Honestly, yes you can be friends and have nothing happen. If you have a friendship based on respect, no one will make any moves on each other.

However you become friends with someone because you think they are great people. If you are attractive at some point your friend will be attracted to you. Most people are capable of not acting on this attraction, but to pretend it couldn't possibly exist is laughable. It is not unreasonable for your SO to keep a bit of a guard up when addressing your relationship with members of the opposite sex.

Include your opposite sex friends in events that include your SO, don't write off your SO's distrust. They probably can see something you are glossing over in order to not have to deal with the potential loss of a friend. Your relationship with your SO is the most important. Choose a SO who is responsible, thoughtful and a good person, someone who has opinions you can trust, and then you don't have to worry about them being controlling.

scallopkid · 2014-03-02T18:59:28+00:00

All friends are based on attraction to a degree , including female to female friendships. Everyone wants to hang with the pretty people. It's a friendship until it's sexualized.

givemeallthepuppies · 2014-03-02T17:24:43+00:00

Even without having to explain the logical reasoning behind it, I think the answer lies in my visceral reaction to the thought of my man spending time with another woman: It makes me very uncomfortable. And the fact is, males and females who are taken should not hang out alone together simply as a preventative measure, because sometimes people make bad decisions!

SoftHarem · 2014-03-02T16:23:21+00:00

in almost any case in which a MAN is friends with a woman he is attracted to her and wants it to be more but doesnt know how to make it happen or is trying the "beta orbiter" strategy. attractive and/or masculine men have almost no interest in women to whom they arent attracted, they are often even disgusted by them. the miniscule number of women who can be both interesting to men AND not attractive to them is so passingly small that like ALL OTHER OUTLIERS MODERN PEOPLE ARE OBSESSED WITH, they dont warrant mentioning

Offensive_Brute · 2014-03-02T20:25:01+00:00

I can think of Two women in my 29 years that I was a close friend to that I was not at all attracted to.

But yes, men and women can just be friends.

Its just rare because guys are willing to put in more time with a woman they are attracted to.

However neither friendship or attraction precludes the other. I would like to bang out most of my female friends, but that doesn't mean that I don't also enjoy their company, and appreciate them as individuals. I'm getting to an age where the girls I grew up with are all either married or in LTRs and they have kids and stuff. I see that stuff, and the last thing that comes to mind is "damn shes off the market". I'm jealous, but because I don't have an LTR or kids at this point in my life. But mostly I'm proud of them and happy for them. With all the drinking and drugs and promiscuity when we were younger, I grin like a fool when I see that they've grown into responsible mothers and dutiful spouses.

anon_throwaway0 · 2014-03-02T23:34:33+00:00

a man can be friends with a woman if shes ugly and does not want to fuck her.

a woman can be friends with a man who is ugly snd does not want to fuck him

if you have 2 attractive men and women theh can be friends only..but that doesnt mean they dont want to fuck eachother.

2014-03-02T16:59:14+00:00

No. Not even business partners, unless they are somehow related... eg brother/sister. Sure, there might be the occasional exception. The only potential quasi-friendship relationship that might work is one based on short-term, well-defined projects in the context of a community or group event. EG, if a woman was really masculine and liked working on construction and there was a barn-raising.

Having a couple build friendships with other couples is a bit different; that's still rare but a little less so.

secularist42 · 2014-03-02T20:14:38+00:00

In my experience, the only way it can work is if you've already had sex, etc... even then it would be a rare situation.

Ashmoe · 2014-03-03T00:08:10+00:00

Having opposite sex friends while married or in a relationship is a bad idea. It's just asking for jealousy, drama, and temptation.

wendy-fly · 2014-03-03T16:52:50+00:00

I'm pretty late to this party but my answer is in the 'yes' category. I believe true friendship- not acquaintanceship- is rare and a beautiful. I don't have any male friendships but my husband has a very good friend who is female. They are very similar people. They have the same interests and he is in school studying to do what she just landed a job in. She is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. She is supportive and respectful of our marriage, always subtly and overtly respecting my rights as The Wife, and in fact was one of the signing witnesses at our wedding. I am also friends with her now. My husband and I have an open and honest relation and he admitted that when he first met her he was attracted to her. They had ample opportunity to date but never did. He says he doesn't want a relationship with a person just like him- basically him with boobs- he wants me. I am always invited and often hang out with my husband and his friend and there is no level of secrecy and their communications are transparent for me. The final piece that makes me feel secure is that she dated my husband's brother after meeting him at our wedding. While they aren't together now, I feel there is a taboo on having sex with a woman that your brother already had sex with. Just...weird. So, yes. I believe friendships can happen between men and women. Maybe an outlier, maybe not.

All of my male good acquaintances are gay. These are the perils of being a part of the arts community! ;)

eatplaycrush · 2014-03-02T16:31:11+00:00

No. A REAL man behaves exactly in the way Dana laid out because what is the point of other women? If you are in an LTR/Marriage then no.

For example my own relationship. We both had friends male and female before we agreed upon the foundation of our LTR. After that agreement was made there were no female/male friends. If you are trying to build a life with your significant other then what does anyone else have to offer YOUR relationship? Not much. The other women is there for what? She isn't cleaning, cooking, taking care of duties that are critically important. There is absolutely no purpose. Same goes for male friends for females. Are they supporting you and protecting you? Making sure your life is steering in the right direction? Didn't think so.

I think it's hilarious how people act as if they can be "close" friends with the opposite sex, especially in a serious relationship. Unless that person has something of value that could enhance your life with your partner (business client, someone with valuable networks, etc) then NO. There is absolutely no reason.

JohnnK · 2014-03-02T20:40:47+00:00

Females are not fun to be around, least I have never met one that is. If we aren't trying to date or have sex with them, what's the point?

soulshiv · 2014-03-02T21:48:01+00:00

There is no such thing as a man and woman being just friends. That being said, a woman can have value beyond her sexuality, and a man can have the ability to resist his natural urges.

Nynx12 · 2014-03-03T06:50:33+00:00

I think it's more like men and women can't be "close" friends.

There's really no reason for a man to spend his time/resources on a woman other than to (at least eventually) sleep with her.

Even with the best intentions women just aren't wired to dedicate huge amounts of time and resources to others; especially men. It's not equal and resentment develops.

As soon as a guy shows particular interest in spending time with me I cut them off or pull back and make sure I'm never alone with them. May seem extreme, but my life has had a 1000% reduction in stress for this.

aaron_the_just · 2014-03-03T15:30:47+00:00

"Girls and boys can't be friends."

This is a piece of advice I dole out to my friends, both male and female, on a regular basis.

what_no_pudding · 2014-03-02T17:55:33+00:00

From my perspective, having a female friend that I'm not sleeping with is almost always a losing proposition for me. Because women generally lack survival based skills, they often rely on men to compensate. If I had a female friend, she would ask me to do things like fix her car, appliances, etc.

I am a compassionate person, and so I would oblige her because it's difficult for me to leave someone hanging. Therefore, I avoid those types of relationships because there's nothing in it for me and I am incapable of saying no to a damsel in distress.

Another reason is that if I have a platonic female friend, she would fill a certain need I have for women in my life without filling all of them. The consequences of this relationship is that I would have less motivation to find a woman that could completely satisfy my needs.

Lastly, I prefer friendships with other men. Because men are more logical and less feeling oriented, I can say things that they might find offensive and we can still be friends.

Case in point:

I had a female friend, we were good friends until I mentioned that I would never vote for a female president because I don't think women make good leaders and also because it's disrespectful to the male dominated military to take orders from a woman. She was really butthurt that I said that and completely cut off all contact with me after that.

Now, I have a male friend who is half black. I've said all kinds of racist things in his presence, including saying the word "nigger". Only thing he said to me was "please don't use that word". And I obliged him out of mutual respect. We're still really good friends.

The point of this is that every human relationship is an investment. If you're not getting something out of the relationship, then it's best not to establish it in the first place.

FleetingWish · 2014-03-03T00:05:40+00:00

Yes, but in order for a man and a woman to just be friends it has to be a unspoken agreement to not be interested in sex with one another. A lot of women end up resentful of their orbiter friends when they realize all the nice stuff that they did for them was geared towards sex rather than friendship. The woman wanted to have a "friend only" relationship that the man did not, and could not, agree to.

cat_fox · 2014-03-02T17:19:16+00:00

Hah hah...When Harry Met Sally was on tv last night. I love watching the two of them pretend there is no physical attraction when in actuality one wants to jump the other's bones at any given time.

Snuffaluffaluffagus · 2014-03-02T20:57:44+00:00

In college I had one really good female friend who I wasn't attracted to physically. She was cool as hell to kick it and have a beer with, but I never wanted anything more than that. We were however, bridges to each other's groups of friends. It ended up, unintentionally, opening a lot of doors for my friends to get with her friends and vice versa. All in all, rare, but not a bad experience at all.

anon_throwaway0 · 2014-03-02T23:35:11+00:00

or if their both ugly they can be friends and not fuck

BIG_Daddy_Government · 2014-03-03T00:47:08+00:00

true friendship is exceedingly rare.

i think you mean companionship, or temporary buddy sort of relationships. If a person is attractive, you will get attracted. Doesn't matter, guy or girl, both get attracted to an attractive figure from the opposite sex. If a girl isn't attractive, the guy can be her buddy if he sees she's cool. if a guy isn't attractive at all to a girl, then he will be her buddy.

2014-03-03T04:17:23+00:00

The few male friends I have are taken. Naturally, they became friends (while I was single) due to the fact I wouldn't personally do or date them, even if I was given the chance. I considered it a few times when those friends were single and never jumped on it.

Granted, it can happen, but these are outlier cases. Usually one side is attracted to the other, at least to some degree.

These would be friends you hang out with in the company of others strictly. No alone time because that often leads to one party trying to make a move on the other. I rarely run into the male friends I have and contact with them is often limited to text/FB, which is fine with C.

Title	Curious about the Red Pill Perspective on opposite sex friendships.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	93
Date	March 2, 2014 4:14 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1zcp1q/curious_about_the_red_pill_perspective_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/curious-about-the-red-pill-perspective-on-opposite.165213 https://theredarchive.com/post/165213

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