Approaching the wall

LifterofThings · 2014-11-07T14:56:58+00:00

You're really being overdramatic about this thing.

"The wall" is something to be feared for women who take their beauty for granted and then are shocked to discover that at 30 or so, after 10-12 years of hard partying, nobody's interested in buying them shit or bending over backward to accommodate them anymore. If you're not resting on your pretty laurels now, the wall will probably not have a huge impact on your life.

If you want kids, I'd make finding a mate a priority now. While women "can" have babies into their 40s, it's by no means an easy or ideal situation. The earlier you can start, the better.

You don't have to be a 10 to find a good man. While conventional attractiveness certainly widens the pool of men who'll be interested in pursuing a thang with you, the reality is that a lot of them won't be a good match for you anyway. So long as you don't have expectations way beyond what you can reasonably pull for your SMV, you'll be fine.

What you need is a man you admire-- someone you feel lucky to be with. Relationships work best when the woman perceives the man as being higher value than herself (this is why TRP warns women against advanced education-- if you, with your PhD, believe that you are entitled to someone with a PhD or higher, you've shrunk your dating pool considerably). Relationships where the woman feels she can do better are prone to disrespect (which is really soul-crushing for men). It'll make you work harder to keep him, which in the end, you will both appreciate.

From my own experience, I met my SO when I was 28. He's younger, less educated, and will make less money than I do (if I can ever break into the field that I was educated in, ugh, fuck you economy). He thinks all of these qualities in me are nifty, but he's not so impressed by them that he'll supplicate to me. That's the balance you want to strike; a dude who thinks all of your pros are really cool, but who isn't so wowed that he'll compromise his core values for you.

For my part, I know he can pull hotter women-- I've seen pictures of his ex. This keeps me motivated to remind him why he picked me when he could have way hotter women (I don't give him shit over stupid things, I trust him, I get his sense of humor, I'm accommodating and willing to provide for his extended family, I bake to make him look good in front of his workmates... basically that I'm willing to go that extra mile to make him happy, and elevate his status in the world outside our relationship)

So, yeah. Drop the "woe is me" act. That attitude reeks of "high maintenance" and will be a massive turn-off to decent men. Figure out what your strengths are, hone them, be proud of them, but don't be unwilling to be that feminine counterbalance to a good man. Good luck!

homo_homini_lupus · 2014-11-07T03:37:26+00:00

Assuming you aren't a troll, which there are several tells of in your post...

You aren't becoming "worthless", that is not the red pill position. What you are doing is significantly reducing your OPTIONS for mates. Not all women were put on this earth to be wives and mothers, but if that's what you WANT to be, you have to get cracking. It's about trade offs, not "worth".

By the time you are done establishing yourself you will be what, 28-29? Thats not death, its just late in the game. The real problem is if your "career" is number 1 and any potential mate is number 2. The reason your classmates have help meet wives is so they can concentrate on their studies and careers, and have someone to come home to who isn't all stressed out from a career or also busy 40 hours a week. You'd think for women that coul dbe easily solved by getting a lower status "house husband", but what we've found is that while men don't care about their wives STATUS relative to theirs...women do. Women become resentful and bored of house husbands, lose attraction to them, come to disrespect them and mom zone them. This is devastating for both parties to the marriage.

This is why we recommend findign a good man and concentrating on your marriage and kids young.

Do you date? What kind of men do you date? Have you looked among older men?

lostinasea · 2014-11-07T04:07:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Perch1 · 2014-11-07T04:09:27+00:00

Guy here, nobody else has commented so I'll give it a try.

First of all, you're aware that you have limited time, and that puts you in a much better situation than most. Other women are going to be fucking around until they're in their 30s, so you have an advantage there.

While your education and career won't help you nearly as much as it would help a guy, it's still something that men will appreciate. Lots of guys would rather put off kids for a while and do the dual income thing for a while, anyway. Ban Zhao, China's most famous female scholar, told women that they should be well-educated to better serve their husbands. The fact that you're in the middle of a PhD engineering program means that you probably have a strong work ethic. Use that to work on your female skillz, especially cooking.

Being a butterface isn't so bad. Ensure that you're everything else a guy wants, and you'll do well. You said you're in shape. That will gain you some major points and put you ahead of your tubby sistren.

I think the most practical advice is to go for guys who are a little bit older. They're more likely to want to get married than younger guys.

vfree · 2014-11-08T01:15:34+00:00

25 isn't old. Neither is 30. But as you already know, if what you want is a family, the younger you start the better. You can still have children in your 30s but it will be higher risk than in your 20s. Human Biology 101.

You're right about men not putting much importance on a woman's academic/career credentials (unless he's hiring her for a specific position). What matters most to us after youth and fertility is a woman's femininity. Can you be intellectually interesting without a PhD? Yes. Just read a lot. Is it a waste of time for a woman who goes for her B.S/B.A./Master's/PhD and prioritizes her career? Not if that's what she wants to do. But realize that doing so comes at a cost—your femininity. The world of work is hard, it makes anyone hard, men and women. Like everything else in life, there's no free lunch (unless you don't have to work for a living). Time is a finite resource; the doors you walk into close other doors; but that's life.

What turns men on isn't your book knowledge but how "soft" you are. We are the hard, you are the soft. Hard seeks soft, soft seeks hard. But that doesn't mean you necessarily have to give up your chosen path in academia/career. You'll just have to work extra hard on maintaining/cultivating your femininity.

Here's some of what I've said in related threads.

Keep yourself physically attractive:

Make fitness your top daily priority. Make it a way of life, as natural and enjoyable as drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning.
Exercise one hour daily. Lift weights for muscle tone, not muscle mass. Don't worry, you won't look like a man unless you have higher than normal levels of testosterone or eat tons of protein. Run for heart fitness. Do abs/core exercises daily.
Wear a moisturizer with SPF EVERY DAY. Your face won't age as fast. When you're hitting the beach or doing any physical activity in the sun, don't forget the sunscreen, especially on your face.
Wear sunglasses. They'll help you avoid squinting or furrowing your eyebrows (facial strain).
Eat healthy. Avoid sugar. Drink orange juice and eat yogurt daily.
Get plenty of sleep.
Drink rarely or moderately. The more you drink, the faster you'll look older.
Drink plenty of water.
Avoid drugs.
Dress your best every day. Get rid of all pieces of clothing that don't make you feel confident or sexy.

Maintain/cultivate your femininity/softness:

Have a positive, vibrant, cheerful demeanor. Banish bitchy resting face.
Take dance classes, especially social dance where there's a leader and a follower.
Learn to flirt http://www.amazon.com/Flirting-Bible-Ultimate-Reading-Language-ebook/dp/B004R1PVQG
Dress in a way that shows/enhances your femininity but doesn't cheapen you. Show cleavage but beware the slut cleavage threshold. Find jeans that fit you well. Learn good timeless, classic fashion.
Learn to love your body and feel sexy all/most of the time. Learn how to walk sexy in heels (not like you have a corn cob stuck up your ass). Wear sexy lingerie, for yourself, regularly.
Enjoy sex freely and let your freak flag fly proudly within a strictly monogamous relationship. Learn the art and joy of the blow job.
Learn to yield to a mature masculine man. Learn to let him lead and relax in his leadership.

Keep your relationship "value" high:

Don't sleep around. If you want to enjoy sex or experiment, do it within a strictly monogamous relationship.
Don't get pregnant (while dating).

Learn about yourself / Learn to love yourself:

Discover awareness. Meditate.
Learn to be happy alone. Spend plenty of time in solitude and reflect on what you can learn from what's already happened. But balance solitude with socializing. Stay connected with family and real friends.
Practice yoga.
Volunteer at a nursing home.
Find and make friends with people of good character. Ruthlessly cut off those with bad character (don't look back).
Dump a cheater on the spot.
Walk away decisively from anything you don't want or don't want to be in. Don't look back, only reflect on what you can learn from it.
Learn to think critically / think for yourself. Realize that the world always wants something from you and will do what it does to extract the most from you. Don't get into any religion; they'll only force you into groupthink.
Travel. But don't sleep around on the road.
When you hang out with women, keep your mouth shut and your ears open. Observe and decide what's right or wrong for YOU. When you hang out with men, remember that most want to sleep with you. Enjoy their friendship and masculine energy.

"Market" yourself / "put yourself out there":

Volunteer at an animal shelter, farmers market, or any social activity that puts you in touch with the kind of man you want.
Go to speed dating.
Network and attend all social events you're invited to. Ask good questions about the person you're talking to.

rphessian · 2014-11-11T02:02:56+00:00

Many men aren't actually so concerned if a woman has a well paying job and high education. They simply don't want to be submissive in the relationship. You could look for men who still have higher paying careers, but 25 is hardly the time to start giving up hope of finding a great alpha.

thenarrrowpath · 2014-11-11T17:22:50+00:00

Wrong. Guy here, I think your missing the point. You just said guys don't put much stock into a woman's career, duh, I (we) care more about your personality/behavior/temperament/ and yes looks than whatever it is you do during the week days for money. Most women I run into (whether we have sex or not) seem to run for the hills the second I show any interest in taking things further, so as long as your not like that then I don't see why you can get some short-term relationships going. As far as your face goes.....idk....try tinder and she what's up.

HeadingRed · 2014-11-11T22:17:13+00:00

It's not that I wouldn't want a woman with a good career\high income- in today's world that's a good thing and as long as you are not a mother you should keep on going. If you want a husband and children then you are going to be a mother and I would want you to have that as your primary focus if you and I were to have children.

Keep in mind this means if you want that for yourself you need to find a guy who can earn and also wants to be a father.

As to your looks as long as you are healthy (in shape) don't sweat the rest too much- there are a lot of guys better looking than I and if I used that an excuse for not having a woman I shouldn't be surprised when I am alone for the weekend.

FleetingWish · 2014-11-08T04:55:33+00:00

Are you physically deformed in your face? What's wrong with it?

Title	Approaching the wall
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	45
Date	November 7, 2014 2:48 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2ljj13/approaching_the_wall/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/approaching-the-wall.165871 https://theredarchive.com/post/165871

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