~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
lolumadbr0
[–]AshaStarsThrowaway Account139 points140 points141 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Definitely true and is confirmed in Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That (which all girls should read). Anger management is pretty much never the real issue, since he controls his anger around everyone else. It's entitlement and immorality.
[–]featherflowersFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I just finished this book today. It took me three months because there were so many difficult realizations. I really agree that every woman should read this book.
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m actually listening to this at the moment! It’s already bringing up anxieties and I’m at the beginning
[–]featherflowersFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It will be hard but it's worth it. If I had read this at 16 I would be in a much different place in my life now. But I'm glad that I have the knowledge now.
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Read it, passed it along to a neighbor after seeing how her husband treated her. Fingers crossed it was helpful. Or will be someday.
[–]fim_de_semanaFDS Apprentice115 points116 points117 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also, if he can control his temperament when talking to his boss at work but not to you, it means he can control himself if he’s talking to someone he respects.
[–]FurryBellyButt0nFDS Disciple46 points47 points48 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Knowledge is power. If this resonates with you for any reason, please give yourself grace rather than feeling shame for you know better now. You didn't know until you knew but now you'll do better because you have the tools and support to better vet who you allow in your world as an empowered Queen. <3
[–]glossiglamFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
❤️❤️❤️
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie[🍰] 26 points27 points28 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Covert narcissism
[–]SlumberAddictFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow. I don’t know why this never clicked for me. I just always assumed that I somehow pissed him off more than anyone ever could.
[–]honeybeerollFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Have you read Lundy Bandcroft's why does he do that? It's all about abusive men, learning the warning signs, their behavior, tactics, and if you are being abused or have been abused, untangling what was done to you.
[–]sewingmachinesaviorFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes. This was the biggest takeaway for me from Lundy’s book. Abuse is a CHOICE.
[–]MagpieMelonAt-Risk Pick Me Youth16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately my parents were the ones who did this to me and I learned it was normal. I spent my whole childhood upset but thinking I was just ungrateful and spoiled because my family was amazing to everyone on the outside.
It’s only in recent years that I realised it, and luckily I can be there for my younger sister so that she doesn’t end up like me.
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Check out r/raisedbynarcissists if you haven't already.
[–]MagpieMelonAt-Risk Pick Me Youth1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have already, it’s been really helpful to me already. Thank you anyway!
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Happy to hear. Good luck to you. ❤
[–]softestbeanFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
well... this just hit me like a ton of bricks. brb going to look at my ceiling for an hour or two.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]AdawritesrulesFDS Disciple50 points51 points52 points 3 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
You are not wrong, but you are preaching to the choir. What we need from you is to spread the word to your male peers. Not to reiterate to us what we already know and expect a cookie. Once you start posting these comments in other subs, what you say will hold some value.
We don’t have to be professionals in domestic violence to know the truth in what you are saying. Many of us learned it as children, before you learned as a witness. And yet you will be believed If you speak up before we are ever even heard. And that’s not because you’re a professional, it’s because you are a man.
[–]PinkFurLookinLikeCamFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have to agree. While the sentiment is helpful and I can tell that he is thoughtful person, this fully came across as mansplaining. As if the typical female experience isn’t valid until a man comes along to verify. Surely the same comment on other subs, particularly male-oriented, would find it more helpful and less preaching-to-the-choir. Men need to really see that we are literally ignored for everything we experience while expected to dole out cookies when someone ...explains what we already fucking know, to us. Ughh
[–]AdawritesrulesFDS Disciple10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep as soon as I called him out he went full rage, as one would expect an unreasonable man, who is often less knowledgeable than the woman who just criticized him, to do.
You guys don’t see the gems that get deleted. It’s a different world. This is why men aren’t welcome. Well one of many reasons...
[–]PinkFurLookinLikeCamFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whoaaaa!! I seriously thought he made a comment and went his own way for once, unlike MGTOW 😂 Thank you for bringing all that to his attention sis!! I can only imagine what choice of disgusting words he had after he wasn’t being fed grapes by 10 virgin women after his comment 🙄
[–]AyemHerselfFDS Disciple[M] 15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
This comment was approved by the mod team.
Edit: since he wanted to pick a fight as soon as someone didn't kiss his ass, it's removed again. Gentlemen, this is why you aren't welcome here. Feel free to post your opinions and "debate" in literally every other sub on Reddit.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why?
[–]SpecificPatience8FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Disappointed.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nope coercive control was the issue with my ex. He is a narcissist and a misogynist,
[–]NottodayScroteFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Mine never hit me in public. He was wasnt afraid to go after me in front of his family because they'd take his side. His mom would continually butt in when I'd speak up for myself and tell me I needed to "keep mouth shut". His grandparents blamed my parents who didn't even live in the same state and had no clue what was going on
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I pointed this out to my ex once- that he never seemed to lose his shit on his friends or coworkers. In fact, he was more polite to complete strangers. He thought about that for a moment then turned it all around on me. He said it was merely proof how I am so terrible and am the “only person who could make him so mad.” (If not for gaslighting, he couldn’t speak.) The moral is that we shouldn’t try to explain why their behavior is unacceptable. Logic is lost on them. The best thing you can do is GO.
© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]AshaStarsThrowaway Account139 points140 points141 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]featherflowersFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]featherflowersFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fim_de_semanaFDS Apprentice115 points116 points117 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FurryBellyButt0nFDS Disciple46 points47 points48 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]glossiglamFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie[🍰] 26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SlumberAddictFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]honeybeerollFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sewingmachinesaviorFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagpieMelonAt-Risk Pick Me Youth16 points17 points18 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagpieMelonAt-Risk Pick Me Youth1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]softestbeanFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (9 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]AdawritesrulesFDS Disciple50 points51 points52 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]PinkFurLookinLikeCamFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]AdawritesrulesFDS Disciple10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PinkFurLookinLikeCamFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AyemHerselfFDS Disciple[M] 15 points16 points17 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SpecificPatience8FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NottodayScroteFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link