Here's the short version about me: i was married, i took TRP, we divorced as 'too little too late' and here I am at 40 still reading still learning still growing.

I read a lot of posts from guys where he describes that his wife did or said something -and he describes how he responded -and what he said and what she said -and how he owned it/ or he dominated/ or he was too Alpha/ or he was too beta/ and so on.

The problem is, at the point where you are arguing with a woman you have already lost because of some key fundamental facts.

The incorrect assumptions that I see are as follows: 1 you believe that your wife will recognise and respond to coherent thought 2 you believe that the woman is equal to you 3 you believe that when she understands your coherent point, that she will acknowledge that you have made a coherent point and yield the argument, while perhaps offering to change her shitty behavior, blow you and check your tyre pressure too.

Like every adult human she wants to marry up, believing that she got a catch who all her friends are jealous of. She never asked to be married to her equal, when you act like her equal you have devalued yourself to the level of a woman.

Because you have devalued yourself she despises you, and because she disrespects and despises you she cannot possibly acknowledge that you have made a valid point. No combination of words that you come up with, however logical, will make her admit that you are right and she is wrong. That would be like admitting that you are smarter than her and there is no possible dignified way for her to admit that she is not as smart as you are.

Stepping back in time a little I noticed that men are never recorded as having lengthy arguments with their wives; they may have fought but men never tried to use rational debate with their wives very often at all.

About 4 generations ago feminism taught us all that men and women are the same which is fundamentally a sexist thought of course, but I won't go into that here. Feminism also taught us that women are equal which is fine in terms of the right to vote and the right to work and so on, but women are not equally logical and should never be assumed to think like a man would think and acknowledge that you have a valid point, even when you do.

She is unlikely to be arguing because she wants to learn something; it is far more likely that she is arguing because she needs to manipulate you or express displeasure from something you said or didn't say this morning, or because she simply craves attention, or because she is simply trying to mask some other emotion that she is upset about.

In conclusion I hope that I have made this point clearly.

When you choose to argue with her you have elevated her to your level, therefore she rightly despises you, therefore you have lost no matter what else happens.

Additionally, I have made the decision to never argue with my ex-wife since that is a privilege that was part of marriage, and therefore it is a privilege that she has lost. Now my lawyer does the talking. 3 years later and she still hates it when I can't be baited and she doesn't even know why.

Instead of arguing with her; there are a few things that you can do that I have done in the past, including; Amused Mastery/ grab a pre packed gym bag and disappear for two hours/ say nothing/ or state your piece clearly one time and leave it at that.