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Developing Abundance, Tinder, and OPSEC?

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September 28, 2018

So as I mentioned in my OYS post from this week (starts here and continues here)--primarily in the second part--I've been thinking a lot about how to develop more abundance mentality lately. I've never really done much "gaming" or flirting of women other than my wife, even before I was married, so I don't have a lot of knowledge or skill regarding how to meet, flirt with, and hook up with, women. I've never considered myself particularly physically attractive but have never really tested the waters to try to evaluate it objectively, and I'm probably not going to truly believe that other women could find me attractive unless I actually have women finding me attractive.

As a result, I'm having trouble internalizing an abundance mindset and an "I am the prize" attitude. I understand it mentally, but emotionally I'm not yet able to really believe it. I don't really know where I'd go to meet/flirt with women and the logistics of my demanding job and leading my family make it difficult to find free evenings to go to bars or clubs anyway.

So I've been considering signing up for Tinder, if for nothing else than just to get a taste of what's out there. I feel like even a few matches and decent text conversations could help me really prove to myself that I do have other options besides my wife, and at least offer a few opportunities to practice flirting and being cocky-funny over text. I'm not sure I'm ready yet to actually go on dates or escalate anything physically with another woman (I'd primarily be going for catch-and-release right now, if anything), but I believe that knowing whether I'd have the chance if I wanted it could be very helpful for my frame development right now. Hell, even seeing the list of women near me looking to hook up would probably be useful.

However, I'm being a pussy and not signing up yet because I'm concerned about OPSEC; despite my efforts to research this online, I'm still not fully sure how Tinder actually works or displays people. If I had an account and my wife found out (likely through single family members or friends who might have accounts and could see my profile), it would likely destroy my marriage--and while I haven't yet decided if the marriage will survive, if it's going to dissolve I want to make damn sure it happens on MY terms and when I'M ready for it.

So those of you who are married and use Tinder, how do you protect yourself from being found out? Is there a way to safeguard against this? How likely is it that somebody of the opposite sex living in my same city would see my profile? How about if they live in another state?

I'd appreciate any help or input regarding Tinder use, places to go out and meet/flirt with women, or any other help with things I can do to develop true abundance and "I am the prize" mentality.

Post Information
Title Developing Abundance, Tinder, and OPSEC?
Author Reject444
Upvotes 12
Comments 25
Date 28 September 2018 07:15 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203963
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9jpvrx/developing_abundance_tinder_and_opsec/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]throwawayfaggo2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Basic question for you on spinning plates. Is the end goal to fuck your plates or only take it to a point where you know you can if you wanted to? Or is that up to personal preference?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

don’t start with an electronic paper trail

Oh man, this should be bold and stickied! With the current environment anything you say on SM or electronically can and will be used against you. I’m dealing with some serious slander right now with a woman or 2 I closed 6 months ago when I was separated from my wife (very briefly).

Basically, one or possibly 2 of them took my FB messages and sent them to another person in this FB group. Totally took my comments to her out of context and acted like it just happened last week (when it was 6 months ago). Of course, she omitted the pics she sent me of her in nothing but panties and heels... or her request for a duck pick. I’m a mod in the group, and I’m also a life coach for several people in the group. **perfect example of why you should never leave an electronic trail beyond anything with plausible deniability.

Learned a big lesson there in many ways, but it’s nothing I can’t control at the moment.

The point is, electronic trails can be easily taken out of context and can really damage your reputation. In my case, I didn’t want to screw her again, and I got back with my wife (I briefly left her), and this chick got all bitter because I didn’t want any her.

This is the current environment out there... it’s not just state and politicians being screwed over.

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nowadays the ability for "victims" to pick and choose what they present is scary. Out-of-context messages are an obvious example. Good luck I hope it goes well.

I use snapchat with one plate but message another and I realise there is always a risk. Especially when sendng commanding messages.

Do you think you could expand on this for a post? The guys at r/askmrp may not realise how much this can affect your life. The younger guys at r/asktrp surely won't. We could all benefit from a lesson in online security.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Tinder is for people who want to fuck and cheat. There is no game here. It is just a few texts, do you want to eat ass on date 1 or 2, and when do we meet up? As if you wait till date 2 to eat ass.

Bumble is more girlfriend type stuff. But still a waste of time unless you want to close.

Your best bet is Starbucks, hobbies, bars, plays, the bar at Cheesecake Factory, salsa dancing, etc. Places to meet and practice day game. Just start talking to people.

See where it goes from there.

You will spend 10 mins setting up a profile on tinder, 20 minutes swiping and if you DO by chance end up meeting someone IRL that convo will last 5 mins cause you are not ready to fuck.

And one more dick punch for you.

You are probably old - as in over 35. Which means you suck at text flirting, as did I until I got good at it.

Tinder is for dumb fucks who use emojis and meme to communicate.

You will never be as good as texting as a dumb 20 year old kid.

Which is what most of Tinder is.

And bots.

[–]runnowxxx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well said bro

[–]gameoflibidos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"The bar at Cheesecake factory" was so specific it made me laugh.

Advanced tactics that really takes balls is the gym... it's tough there.. most the women have headphones in, and approaching anyone is like you have an audience of dudes to watch to see if you f up. haha

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've never really done much "gaming" or flirting of women

Well start today. Your fear is holding you back, and you are making excuses .

Flirt everywhere- grocery stores, airports, lunch.. etc. don’t make a big deal about it. Start with a simple comment about the environment or maybe just a “hi.” What’s the worst that can happen?

[–]bueller66262 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’ll add in approach men too. You still don’t know them and you are encroaching their space, but the fear is less. Just chat up everyone. Elevators are great for this.

[–]innominating0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I second this. One fear of opening for many guys is the fear of attack by a rival male (boyfriend/husband), which is bio evolutionary or the fear of player hating from other men.

If you can’t open men for a quick chat, you can’t open women. Half of the numbers/ONS/plates I get are women in a set with a man, be it her friend, boyfriend, or husband.

[–]lionmenden4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wear a sport coat. Go to a hotel bar. Order a drink or better yet sit at the bar and order dinner. Talk to people. Catch and release.

I helped a single friend setup Tinder. I spent 5 minutes watching him swipe. I saw multiple people I knew or had seen in real life. Someone will find it.

I can explain catch and release. I’m just talking to someone, they get the wrong idea, they invite me to their room or want to give me their number, I decline. Hell, I could even explain discretely having girls on the side if that keeps me in the marriage (I don’t, I’m saying I could). What I couldn’t explain is the blatant lack of discretion that lead to my wife’s entire social circle and family inevitably finding out if I was cheating on her on Tinder. And I doubt you can, either. Even if you never actually meet them. Also, the divorce rape basically writes itself when she has that blatant evidence.

[–]Reject444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What I couldn’t explain is the blatant lack of discretion that lead to my wife’s entire social circle and family inevitably finding out if I was cheating on her on Tinder. And I doubt you can, either.

Yeah, this is almost exactly what I'm worried about. Thanks for the info and verification that my worries here are valid.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

read rollo on buffers

[–]Reject444[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks; I think I see what you're getting at and while I'm sure my fear of rejection is some small part of this, I have faced up to that and I don't really care. I'm actually very accustomed to performing publicly and you can't do that as many years as I have without learning to manage and bust through fear of failure/rejection by your audience. Flirting with new women is somewhat new territory for me, and the unfamiliarity makes that fear a bit stronger in that context, but I am willing to face it and approach a woman despite the fear (I think; this is all academic right now because I haven't actually DONE it but I don't think that 'fear of rejection" is my biggest stumbling block here at all). The thing really keeping me from doing this is not so much the FEAR but the difficulties with OPPORTUNITY--I really am not sure where or when to GO to find and flirt with potentially receptive women. I've never really gone out to clubs or bars, so even though I'm in NYC where there are tons of them, I don't have any clue which would be good to find single (or otherwise looking) women. And it's hard for me to be out late at night without my wife for two reasons; one, if I'm out late instead of going home I don't get to see my kids before they go to sleep, which makes me feel like a lesser father, and second, my wife will want to know where I am/have been--especially since my impression is that the bar/club scene where I live doesn't really even get going until around 10:00 or later. I could probably claim working late or going out with friends or something for one or two scattered evenings, but not with the regularity that might be needed to try out and evaluate possible places to meet women.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Passive dread, my man. That is your goal. I posted a picture of myself to the social media recently, and my wife's friend was texting my wife on how good I look.

Guess who got laid that evening. This guy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your hamster is about the break the damn wheel. You live in a city of 8 million people and you're worried about opportunity? Bullshit.

Go to a park in the afternoon and start a conversation with the first attractive woman you see. Find one that's walking a dog and use the pet as your opening. Don't worry about whether she's single or not. Just start the conversation and flirt casually without any specific goal. Get in the habit of doing that regularly, wherever you go, and you'll inevitably find yourself in conversations with attractive and available women. You'll also have developed your social skills in the process, so that game will just start to come naturally.

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Spoof the geolocation on your phone and Tinder in other cities far enough away from your own.

[–]Reject444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is it solely location-based? So if it thinks I'm in a state where we don't have any family or friends it will have no real chance of being seen by anybody we know?

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are people everywhere, just talk to them. “Flirting” isn’t some special thing, just be alpha, have frame and have fun talking to people.

The reaction you will elicit if your SMV is high should be plenty for abundance mentality, you don’t need to go full PUA and certainly not on tinder.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Like anything else, jump right in or build it up.

I never spoke to some random woman, let alone fucked, before I started internalizing abundance. Eye contact goes a long way. Not that "Sorry ma'am, didn't mean to look at you that way" bullshit either

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


Gain some confidence and blast through the “I’m not vet physically attractive shit mentality”

Get rid your fucking belly/gut.

Men that lift, and wear clothes that fit, look to have an interest in taking care of themselves, easily have the upper hand. Period.

It’s no secret your soul source of pussy, in your fucking miserable life (with this state of mind) is your wife’s and she sees this as long as you doubt your worth.

Self respect is key

Tinder. ? Why ?

Use and game what is at your disposal, understand exactly what you are doing. Daily flirtations with non electronic footprint are harder at first, but become easier with each trial

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I gotta say I think tinder sucks because I have never gamed women online. Text for logistics only.

How can you kino when you are texting? How do they feel the meat for firmness and to indicate desire physically and covertly? This is their language, the language they want to speak, and you are forcing them to do otherwise.

I do realize online dating is a thing, but why would I go to war in a theatre where I can’t use my airforce? I know I have a great, maybe the best Air Force. Why soldier in the text trenches? I mean fuck that. I’m gonna win from above with my personality.

And that mother fucker, happens only in real life. Get out there.

[–]oytrp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't waste your time with Tinder.

"practicing" online doesn't prepare you for game irl.

You could be don juan online, but irl you'll still have scarcity until you can flirt and attract women in person.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Unless you are a top 10-20% guy on looks alone, then Tinder is going to be a huge downer and ego buster for you.

How likely is it that somebody of the opposite sex living in my same city would see my profile?

Since this is the goal of Tinder my guess is 100%. What did you think? If the wife has sisters, coworkers, or friends who are single and on Tinder, you will probably get found out.

places to go out and meet/flirt with women

Back to the basics. Women are an adjunct to an already good life, not the end goal. Once you have a good life and are pursuing your mission the women who provide the signals are the ones you want to flirt with. You can accelerate the process by getting busy and taking the initiative talking/opening girls in various locations.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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