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Branches: How do/did you discover them?

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April 9, 2018

Read previous threads about my situation: Deployed and wife is possibly cheating on me: meeting a male friend after her class, hanging out with said friend, and going on an overnight camping trip where they both were on the FB "Going" list (Thanks FB feed), only today when I went to check on photos from the trip she and him deleted themselves from the list. The plot thickens...

That's a shitload of fucking red flags or coincidences...

What should I do in this situation as I am deployed until the fall:

  1. Call her out on her shenanigans now? - This could be bad as she could get the upper hand while I am out here.
  2. Hold my tongue until I am back and prepare the NEXT kit? Stash money and improve my SMV for the next phase of life. This is a more conservative approach.
  3. Shop for plates? She's possibly doing it so why can't I? Get out of the system and reset upon return?

Any advice from those that were deployed and dealt with this shit?

Post Information
Title Branches: How do/did you discover them?
Author broneilbro
Upvotes 10
Comments 77
Date 09 April 2018 03:47 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204645
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8azfhz/branches_how_dodid_you_discover_them/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
cheatingplatesexual market value

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Your spidey sense has been tingling for a while now.

[–]markpf737 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

No kids & spidey sense going off? It's time to next this girl.

If you are actively serving your country and putting your life in harms way - the minimum Requirement of a LTR or wife is to keep your spidey sense "OFF" while you execute your mission.

[–]broneilbro[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Deployment does that and her previous action does it too.

Minimize distractions and focus on myself and deployment. I can't do anything now so what's the point? Create a bugout and prepare myself?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Deployment hamster does that

[–]2ndalRed Beret6 points7 points  (27 children) | Copy

What is your boundary? What is your action if it is crossed? Answer those, and then decide whether it has been crossed.

This is either enough evidence for you or it isn't.

Regardless of whether it is or is not, you need to develop your go plan.

If it is enough evidence, execute on that go plan and don't hesitate.

If it isn't, hire a PI.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (23 children) | Copy

that's not advice. that's just feeding the suspicion/fear.

op, if anyone is telling you to hire a pi, block him. you don't need a pi because awalt. all women are the same. if you don't play the game right you already know the answer to your cheating question. the only solution you have is to start playing the game right, not feed into your negative energy even more by stalking and spying. nothing will drive a woman into the dick of another man faster than the energy THAT generates

you should never be focused on/worried about what your wife is doing or who your wife is fucking, it should always be the other way around

[–]2ndalRed Beret4 points5 points  (22 children) | Copy

under normal circumstances I agree but this dude is halfway around the world away deployed from his wife for half a year.

if it were me, i would not hesitate with a PI because I am no chump and my options are severely limited in this situation

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (21 children) | Copy

you are a chump if you need a pi. if you're sitting around worrying that your wife is cheating, she will. if she's sitting around worrying that you are, she won't.

the fuck is a pi going to tell you that your own behavior won't?

[–]redpillclub5 points6 points  (20 children) | Copy

A pi and the evidence they collect can be very handy in the event of a divorce. It's a preparatory measure. Like consulting a lawyer.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (19 children) | Copy

we live in the era of no-fault divorce so it's handiness is extremely minimal. it's a waste of money and makes a man obsessed, which is actually his problem. telling someone to become MORE obsessed is fucking retarded

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret3 points4 points  (14 children) | Copy

From a proof perspective, I think you are absolutely correct. Doesn't fucking matter.

From a haven't-had-the-wake-up-call to prepare for a split perspective, a PI (regardless of how gay) can often give "closure" to a festering idea and false hope. If any tool gets a guy to put his "stay and go plan" into action faster and he preserves more resources for himself and not continue to support a whore, it's a good tool.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

awalt. there's your closure.

blind leading the blind over here today. jesus

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

You're in the remedial room.

AWALT is still for others and a concept, not a reality. OP makes the venison sausage over and over with "tomboy" "not like other girls" "fast to make male friends" "mommy issues" etc...

Completely fixated, and won't be less so until deployment is over.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

so your defense for giving shit advice is that he's a beta so he might as well keep doing beta shit?

[–]Reject4440 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Also, while proof of cheating may not matter much if it comes to an acrimonious divorce fight in front of a judge, it CAN be very helpful in pre-trial settlement negotiations--a wife presented with the threat of public disclosure of her adultery if the process goes to trial might be much more willing to agree to the husband's conditions for a more favorable settlement. Could save money and time and get a better outcome for the husband. There are many ways in which proof that the wife cheated could be beneficial outside of the strict legal sense of "fault."

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Sure, but her social shaming shield comes up even before then and the "he wasn't there for me" excuse wins over all the women. You have to assume that someone is affected by shame before shame can be used as a tactic.

Plus, pubic disclosure of bad behavior is more and more frowned upon by the society at large, as "slut shaming" or "revenge porn." Depending on where you live and how you disclose the information it might put you in jail.

The Sisterhood Uber Alles.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Being the child of divorce, it would be brutal but I could leverage it it gets to that point. Her mom was a cunt during the procedures and her Father knows that I treat her well, so if I was asked by him why, I would be straight to the point if it gets that way...

I agree with the ideas here. There are some things that come with the territory have heard the stories of the guys around me and asked their advice.

[–]Reject4440 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Obviously the usefulness of any proof of cheating depends on the specific context and that woman's situation, but I can think of many situations where a woman would be so terrified of potential social consequences (whether from her family, peer group, religion, etc.) from exposure of PROOF that she was cheating on her husband that she might give her husband anything (reasonable) that he wanted to settle out-of-court and avoid that disclosure. Sure, she might pull the "he wasn't there for me" or use other tactics to reduce the damage upon exposure, but it's also possible that she might not ever let it get to that point. All I'm saying is that having proof gives you much more potential leverage for a divorce settlement than NOT having that proof.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah it depends on the state. Many states are no-fault- in no-fault states, cheating is irrelevant to the case. OP, check with your state. You can probably find this out on google

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

don't bother op. i googled it for you.

all states are no-fault states. california was the first. new york was the last. some states use different verbiage in the filing (for example: some states have you cite irreconsilable differences, others have you cite "irretrievable breakdown of the marriage") but it's essentially all the same.

some states let you file for cause if you want to, but is has no effect on how assets are broken up, and only in the case of criminal or highly dangerous behavior that could obviously put children at risk can it heavily sway your custody battle.

bobbyperu is just grasping

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for looking that up

I see people wasting so much time irrelevant things in a divorce.

[–]mabden1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

For clarity:

"Fault-based divorces are still allowed in many states, and New York is one of them. The fault-based grounds for divorce are:

Cruel and inhuman treatment where it is unsafe for the parties to live together Abandonment for a continuous period of one year or more Imprisonment for three or more years after the parties were married Adultery Living apart for one or more years after obtaining a judgment of separation Living apart for one or more years pursuant to a separation agreement" 

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Already hired a PI, and that is where I got the initial info about them hanging out. PI stated it looked platonic and nothing was amiss.

The spidey sense is there but deployment does that. It heightens everything.

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

oh right, i remember you now

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Been following your story. Just as a reminder, the stay plan is the same as the go plan.

Look. If this woman is bound and determined to cheat on you, nothing you do can prevent that.

Yes, all these red flags speak to your gut. But right now, as you are deployed, you have limited options.

Your job right now is to greatly improve your SMV and to prepare yourself for all circumstances. That includes financial, mental, and so forth. That is your mission.

Like u/ReddJive said, treat it like a OP. And no showing your poker hand or doing stuff against your best interests.

[–]broneilbro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is the thing. As I read deeper and on here the only thing I care outside of me is daughter. She is definitely my direction for my future actions.

I'm focusing on my SMV, unnoticed more IOIs now that I have dropped 20 lbs and put on 10 lbs of muscle. Still got a slight tummy but you can start to see the Vee. Don't know how that works but still.

Finances I think I'm in a solid place. I have some RE plays going down that will be worth six figures within the year.

But again biggest thing will be mindset. You can have 10 bod with a beta brain

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Jesus man. You need to chill the fuck out on this woman and LIFT while you are deployed.

STFU. You have spewed this hamster shit on here so many times now, it is sad.

The same fucking advice applies. Ignore her. Lift, STFU and when you get back fucking divorce her before you put a baby in her. Go fucking non-contact now. People do it all the fucking time. Go lift until you puke and eat your chicken rations and STFU up. Dont fucking post this shit again on here.

You are wasting our time. What have you done since the last fucking post like this to improve yourself?

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Increased my PRs on Friday and currently looking at 400 SQ and DL 5x5 by end of the month.

But you are right. I've posted on here because you guys are guidance. As I read my ideas evolve and I post to make sure I'm headed the right course.

Yes, I'm lifting, and eating and shiting (chicken and sweet potatoes clean you out)

As for the kid, already have one with her and I do shift most of the convo to her away from wife based on the advice before.

I have cut the convos down and I'll post up a FR after the month ends for you.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

From what I recall you hired a PI and he/she found little to nothing. I do not recall seeing any pics of her sucking him off in his car, so your "trust but verify" exercise seems to leans to the trust column.

I must have missed the FUP post about the weekend get away with him. That is royally fucked up.

Stop stressing over it and just focus on you. I forgot there was a kid involved.

If I were in your shoes I would be taking to JAG, etc and getting my ducks in a row to next her when you get back. This daemon will always be in your mind. Did she cheat? Can you trust her again? Do you even want to?

Kill some bad guys, do some MMA and beat up some fellow bunk mates over there. Get the aggression out of your fucking system somehow.

If you come back, and you are in THIS frame you will get shafted in the ass by her.

Do you have access to the sidebar books where you are? Are you reading them?

If all else fails, try to beat Forrest Gumps M14 assembly record while you are on base. Keep your mind busy :)

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Jesus H. Christ. This is a new company record. If it wouldn't be a waste of such a damn fine enlisted man, I'd recommended you for O.C.S., Private Gump. You are gonna be a General some day, Gump! Now, disassemble your weapon and continue!"

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If all else fails, try to beat Forrest Gumps M14 assembly record while you are on base. Keep your mind busy :)

Just don't be Private Pyle doing the manual of arms in the head after lights-out. =)

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (10 children) | Copy

the only way to keep a woman honest, for any amount of time, and from any distance, is via competition anxiety

whether a man leaves on a 2 night business trip or a 9 month deployment to iraq, the likelihood a woman will cheat is inversely related to how worried she is that YOU will cheat

i'm guessing the main reason soldiers get cheated on so much is their wives are convinced there's very little competition for them wherever their men are currently deployed and their men continually reassure them of that

if you've gotten to the point that you're stalking your wife online then yes, it's probably already too late and she's already fucking someone else (women can smell your fidelity and your fear and they both stink)

i would suggest something extreme at this point. drop some mild suggestion that you've got a female friend out there or that you're now in an area with a lot of westernized women, stop saying i love you to reassure her of your fidelity, respond very little to any messages she sends, etc.

it won't erase the dick she's probably already sucked, but it's the only thing you can do to get her to stop sucking it until you get home

good luck

[–]broneilbro[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

This is something brutal. I get the gist of this and again it's taken with a grain of salt. There is a difference as my wife is a tom boy and hangs out with a bunch of guys so there is difficulty in shifting through it.

I'm going to throw some dread as there are some plates out here as I agree with the statement about no competition. There is plenty out here so I'll do some pix with the plates.

I have minimized the initiation but my goal is to max out my SMV while I'm here, dust off the game, and read lift eat repeat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

then you've got a chance

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yup, actually there was this HB7 age 28 or so that wanted to go on a date. The other guys were all over her and I left it open because she wanted concert tickets that were $$$ and I had a set. She stated she would dress up slutty and such to get them. I asked her would the dress match the end game which she "blushed" and gave the fuck me eyes.

I have to brush my game up and learn how to date again. Would running game be bad if I didn't run it till it end? How about Tinder? Learn how to kino and flirt again?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

i'm not gonna give you a step-by-step bro. it sounds like you're getting it though. good luck

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

i would suggest something extreme at this point. drop some mild suggestion that you've got a female friend out there or that you're now in an area with a lot of westernized women

If wifey's getting drilled on the regular, there's no amount of dread that's going to make a dent in that, especially when the OP's thousands of miles away.

Agree with keeping attention to a minimum and no affection. Best course is for OP to focus on his mission and quit obsessing about shit he can do nothing about... his sphere of influence is next to nil.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

If wifey's getting drilled on the regular, there's no amount of dread that's going to make a dent in that


especially when the OP's thousands of miles away.

distance is irrelevant

Agree with keeping attention to a minimum and no affection

but that's dread. the thing you just said wouldn't make a dent

Best course is for OP to focus on his mission and quit obsessing


about shit he can do nothing about

but this IS shit he can do something about.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bloody hell.... if you really are military, then you should know to get a good grip on the command and control of a situation. Being away, is not good command and control situation. She is there with your stuff and you are not. Just wait until you get back home before doing anything that tips your hand.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Copy. This is the thing that I'm trying to kill: trying to fix shit that I don't have control over. I'm reading more of the stoics than before and I catch myself falling back to them when I notice my actions are like the old me.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Given the hero worship of the troops in the US, it simply amazes me that the female imperative is so entrenched in American society that women feel no shame at all from cheating on their "heroes putting their bodies on the line for country".

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hypergamy doesn't give a fuck.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

it shouldn't

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

the dependapotmus is real.

When a soldier deploys the spouse has an ENORMOUS amount of power. More so than any spouse in the civilian world. Most women don't hook up with a solider for altruistic reasons.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I actually didn't give her a general power of attorney. The military doesn't do that anymore. I told her I am able to do 99% of everything and if I need something I'll provide her a POA. We sold my truck (changing things up) and got her a limited POA.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The military doesn't do that anymore

thank fucking gawd.

[–]broneilbro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The specifically mentioned that General POA are horrible and leave you with an empty house and account when your stripper fiance leaves...the JAG was brutal at the pre-MOB.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agree. The fact I'm away from my daughter for 11 months and I have seen it worse but having RP is something different as the others didn't have it.

Remember the FI is something strong and they can say they were neglected or the job came first etc...

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Stick around long enough and nothing will shock you anymore.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That is what I am reading between the lines on. It really does change your whole perspective. Fuck, I can't even look at girls the same way...I look at them as agents now. All the same.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

11B top of that hero worship stack

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The crux here is establishing what is your ego/insecurity and was is an actual red flag?

Are you cool with her going on overnight camping trips with other dudes in general?

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just to clarify it was an entire group of 20-30 as she has gone with them before.

The big thing was this time she asked if she asked me if she could leave the kid at home with a sitter because off-roading with her was a nightmare.

She also hasn't had a night away in 7 months and MIL, mother and FIL stated she was burnt out. So with that I agreed. She asked multiple times if I was sure and I said go have fun.

Again insecurities is what I'm actually noticing and throttle off. A lot of the help from here has quelled it and I focus on myself.

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She also hasn't had a night away in 7 months and MIL, mother and FIL stated she was burnt out.

Wait... you're deployed overseas for months risking your life, eating shitty food, and living in a shipping container, but she hasn't had a "night away"? Cry me a fucking river.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

First. Watch this and follow is much as you can. I am sure you have a good buddy still at your duty station that can assist.

DOn't say a damn thing. Treat it like another op. You're training should kick in now. Stop with the emotional BS. This is battle. What would you do if you were going into Hadji territory?

I was an an officer. Company command 3 times. If you call her out you just run them to ground. If the dude is a soldier as well gather intel then burn them. Any action you take will contribute to the PTSD fear the media projects about vets.

While you are overseas. Focus on your assignments and yourself.

It's just another op.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Copy. I had seen that before. I keep all accounts separate and I have a Trust where I put my money into.

He is not a soldier and honestly idk what to make of it. She's never mentioned him but maybe once, but again old me would get hella jealous about stupid shit like that.

I'm dumping this emotional shit. I can actually catch myself and sort of laugh at it.

I'm an officer and had FB pretty much show my sailor that his wife was cheating on him with a coworker.

RP has opened my eyes to hypergamy of women and it cannot be unseen.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The military should have at least shown you that. Like I said earlier in the comments. Dependas are real. Few women actually marry soldiers/sailors for reasons of love. It's money to them.

Most know exactly what there BAH/BAS increase is and the promotion pay raises.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This! When we first started dating, she had her laptop opened up she had a post on a forum for dependas and mentioned how I had my shit together (Car, House, Job) ala security...back then I laughed at it but now its like jesus...did I see it coming?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

My boss's wife was a sailor, she did cheat, and he did leave her. She grabbed his french doppleganger.

I'm bias. I've know too many military girls to give you any good news

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Haha I know. It is what it is. I'm going to take the advice and do my SMEIAC or whatever that marine corps planning is.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

CYA. I think you're looking for CYA.

At least I hope you're not trying to make a SMESC plan with your action plan. SITUATION, MISSION, EXECUTION, SUPPLIES, COMMUNICATION I think it broke down into. It's been a while

Actually, that might be not too bad....

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, I think it's like that...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cyanuric acid? Rian you've gone too far.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

she and him deleted themselves from the list.

You already know the answer right here.

Go with option 2. So the paperwork, and then call a meeting with her and present the papers. Try to keep it amicable.

[–]hack3ge0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This - don't let your hamster convince you its fucking nothing. Once they are hiding shit you know its inappropriate - the PI is just a waste of money. My wife deleted calls and text messages and I did my own PI work (she has shit sec ops) and of course that shit was inappropriate. I spent way too long justifying and trying to control my wife's behavior and it halted my progress - fucking AWALT man. That being said I was a beta loser so I have to own my shit before I decide on what to do next.

If I didn't have kids I would have presented papers immediately but for me the stay plan is same as go plan + hiding money. Right now I'm thoroughly enjoying getting fucking jacked and just being a cocky, funny asshole with her. Its amazing how much fun you can have when you truly DGAF. If you want to spin plates go for it - thats next up for me on my MAP - shit you are thousands of miles away so it probably makes it even easier.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Curious, how old were you when you married her and why did you do so? I'm always curious at why fellas marry when they're still in the midst of their career and actively deploying etc. Why not wait until after? What is the driving force?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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