Dealing with "no news" shit test

Alpha_Engineer99 · 2018-02-20T18:29:47+00:00

I totally understand getting shit done and not wasting time on dumb shit. I’m a machine at work.

But... are you having fun? Activity engaged when you get home ? Present?

Can’t be radio silent all the time. Do some text game throughout the day. A little flirting. Check in with her from time to time if she is being good to you. Ask her how that conference is going? Or how is your day going? Ask her what color panties she’s wearing? Tell her to make your favorite dinner tonight.

Seems like you might be coming across to her as mentally checked out. You say you only talk about shit that “actually matters”... but what “actually matters” to her isn’t the same.

Chicks have no idea nor can they appreciate how much we do. How much work it takes to get shit done. My wife doesn’t have a clue how or why I track our spending, net worth, credit score, why I practice work presentations late at night at home, why I make the kids rewrite their sloppy homework -to take pride in their work , why I put air in her tires to the correct pressure, etc.

There’s a reason why the wizard has his curtains closed in Oz. Women don’t want to know the inner workings or what it takes to get it all done, they just want the reward - feelz- from it.

Give her some Feelz. That’s what “actually matters” to her. She doesn’t care how hard you work.

Crossed_the_Rubicon · 2018-02-20T20:55:36+00:00

"I'm just busy babe" is DEERing. AA that shit. It's a basic shit test.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2018-02-20T17:52:22+00:00

Communicating w/ your wife during the day by flirting or teasing is actually a good thing. Staying radio silent with the exception of “hey why did you spend money that I didn’t know about?”badgering will dry her up and drive a wedge between you.

straius · 2018-02-20T21:24:21+00:00

Translation: I am not a priority to you and you care more about something I bought than spending time with me.

You can't captain a ship or lead a crew if they never see the captain. If that is true at home after work, you may have a calibration to make there.

Remember the other side of the equation? Being a fun guy to be around/with? Make sure you're not completely absent mentally when you're home.

This is another reason why you should respond with AM when possible. But all the other shit you improve isn't gonna mean jack if you're detached and lack a connection. You just don't become a slave to her desires. But you still have to fulfill some of them otherwise what's the point of being together.

Taipanshimshon · 2018-02-21T01:49:41+00:00

Faggot.

She is asking you to flirt with her

red-sfpplus · 2018-02-20T16:55:02+00:00

Actually the context of the question is relevant to this question.

The reason you dont post a specific example is because I can guarantee it is some beta bullshit question like:

“Hey babe, should I use cash or debit to buy my lunch?”

Rian_Stone · 2018-02-20T22:11:41+00:00

Stop calling then..

You make it sound like your time is valuable....

RedPillCoach · 2018-02-21T19:04:25+00:00

I had no news from you all day long

This is her way of saying that she misses you and that she is upset that she doesn't see you more.

now you call me just for [whatever], blablabla

This is her way of saying: "I am lonely and pissed that I don't talk to you more."

Any ideas

This is you unaware of the mental state of your wife, and at least partially losing his frame which then forces her (literally "forces her") to Shit Test, complain, and bitch even harder.

The solution:

LISTEN for a few minutes at least once a day! Don't try to fix it. Just listen, acknowledge her feelings, and provide comfort.
LEAD the conversation. When she is bitching and complaining just tell her something like: "Aww, babe we can spend some time together" (plan and commit to specific alone time). This acknowledges her feelings (something we miss on MRP sometimes). Then without trying to "fix" them you provide a specific action that solves the root of her unspoken emotions. It seems complicated but it is called "Getting It."
DO NOT GIVE A FUCK: About her bitching and whining. It is what women do. How you react to it determines what happens next. When you get upset about it you fail the shit test and validate her feelings that you don't care about her etc etc.

Title	Dealing with "no news" shit test
Author	McLearner
Upvotes	5
Comments	39
Date	February 20, 2018 4:43 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7yxb0x/dealing_with_no_news_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/dealing-with-no-news-shit-test.204797 https://theredarchive.com/post/204797

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