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Constant initiating

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February 19, 2018
6 upvotes

Hi all,

I'm nine odd months in and things are moving along ok.

Lifting / diet is good, stfu and other mind moves are a bit slower. I talk too much AND have a "no filter" attitude, which works against me most of the time.

I have a fairly specific question though, so i will save the long post for another time.

I want to know what the value of the constant initiating... Always be closing... theory is?

My view of this is that i want sexy time 3 times or so a week, we hover between 1 and 2, at least equally important to me is my re positioning as Captain, and FO is a reluctant FO if you get what i mean. You can look at my older posts about workaholic narcissism.

Back to the question, I find the constant initiating tiring and unproductive, and even worse it comes off as needy and desperate. Chad doesn't need to constantly chase the wife around, Beta bob does though. Its not like I sit around waiting for her to initiate (although it happens maybe 1 in 10). I am all for daytime game and kino, just making less effort to push ahead, when the signs aren't there.

Thats probably my biggest question (thinking outloud here), why push ahead for sex when the signs are not there (you know, tired, complaining etc). I don't see how a long shot at sex is going to help except to be a DLV etc.


Post Information
Title Constant initiating
Author simbarlion
Upvotes 6
Comments 47
Date 19 February 2018 12:40 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204799
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7yirg6/constant_initiating/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
DLVbetaChadkinoliftgame
Comments

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret18 points19 points  (7 children) | Copy

Keep in mind that initiation = attention. Excessive initiation into rejection reassures your wife of the power of her magic pussy, even when denied to you.

Dread Level 4: withdraw some attention = initiate less frequently after repeated rejections and apply that energy to increasing your SMV.

[–]resolutions3162 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is the answer I got recently and I agree it’s the best one.

Sub question here: this isn’t straight up conditioning, I’m assuming, because the result is too far away from the event to be strongly linked.

So is the idea that your wife REALIZES this is happening?

Or, it isn’t about your wife at all - it’s solely about you, and where you put your effort. If your iron mine output starts to dwindle, you start allocating a percentage of your time to scouting out new iron mines?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is about changing your perception of yourself. She is just the foil.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You should know it's about you and where you put your effort.

[–]resolutions3164 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

it may sound obvious but I don’t think it is. My guess is that the majority of people assume this is a tactic to extract more sex from your wife. I certainly thought that 6 months ago.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If men start playing these games with the covert contract to get more sex, they'll always be thinking and taking action with that goal in mind. The problem is that it is VALIDATING behavior, and wives pick up on that. We say put yourself as your own mental point of origin for a reason.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or, it isn’t about your wife at all - it’s solely about you, and where you put your effort.

This.

If your wife values you (become attractive; add value!) she can be expected to eventually notice the reduced attention and seek more, but the conditioning occurs with your/her positive response to reengaging behaviors that you desire, such as her initiating sex herself or accepting your initiation.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cool, this what I thought / where I am at thanks. I must have misinterpreted some comments on the topic in the past.

[–]Alpha_Engineer997 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You do talk way too fucking much. You seem to have a problem with taking things literal.

If you want sex, then have sex.

Always be closing isn’t literal.. not the same as gaming or kino. If you were spinning plates, yes, always be closing. Fuck it, abundance mentality.

It’s true Chad doesn’t chase, however, he also would fail miserably in a marriage because he is only one deminsional. Doesn’t have the correct mixture of alpha / beta qualities. A and B are on two different sliding scales.

Stfu doesn’t literally mean not talk. It’s for newbies to practice so they don’t get sucked into her frame or hamster.

Too much in your own head.

[–]Reach180Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Comes a point where you realize that individual "initiations" - which I would define as specific attempts to proceed to sex - are not all that productive.

"Always be initiating" should give way to a vibe in your house where there is always a low hum of sexuality in the background. Sets the tone to capitalize on the spontaneity of real sexual desire.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Some real gold advice in this thread.

OP, you’re still looking at initiating from a spreadsheet point of view and keeping score. IE “MRP says I need to be constantly initiating, today so I have to keep score on how many times a day it takes to score an average of 3x week”.

You’ve got it all wrong. You’re not initiating because it leads her to do something for you. You are initiating because it’s something you ENJOY doing. You have fun with it for YOU, not her. Anything else is just another covert contract, “if I constantly kino, she will have more sex with me”

As has already been stated, the bull doesn’t care what the cow thinks. Are you the prize or is she?

I kino my wife because I enjoy it. I tease her because I enjoy it. I make her laugh because I’m having a good time. I grab her ass or tits, because I love the way they feel (this should be obvious). I initiate when I’m horny. I don’t when I’m not.

I do all these things for me and guess what, she enjoys it was well.

That’s the frame you need to get into.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah you are right about the score / metric approach but I do ok really. We have fun, I kino'd and innuendo'd last night and scored the goal...

I am more just challenging the view that one should be constantly initiating. I think it is a bit like STFU, the concept is solid but one must read the moment and apply appropriately.

And let's be honest, the cow doesn't say no to the bull, although my knowledge of bovine reproduction is a little rusty. Most here don't have a submissive relationship like that, so I question it's relevance.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Uh, have you ever spent any time around cattle?

[–]BobbyPeru2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Do kino, etc when you want to. If you’re walking by her in the kitchen and she looks sexy, touch the small of her back and the slightly touch her ass as you walk by. But, do it when you feel like it- otherwise it will come across as forced, needy , and desperate.

Be attractive

Be hawt

Don’t be mechanical

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Roger that. The irony is I do go on the vibe of the moment but sometimes I think to myself, 'mrp is always pushing for constant initiation' which felt OTT so I don't do it.

Word on the street ( I mean this post) is that it's much more 1) desire to initiate, and 2) read the moment, together.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There you go...

Don’t overthink it

[–]NoCoast822 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Chad is initiating 24/7! He is crude and crass about it, but he does nothing to hide his sexuality... that and OI is where he wins and where you are struggling

Dont hide your sexuality, and develop true OI.

"I would like sex 3 days a week but if I initiate 7 days a week its still is not happining.... oh poor me!" STFU work on SMV, Dread, and REAL OI and see where that leads you

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

He is crude and crass about it

Fine with randoms but fucking annoying to wife?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

but fucking annoying to wife

no, it's not. what's annoying is the sneaking around creeping up on em' from behind plausible deniability (for your feelz not her's) type of initiation.

also, how attractive are you really to all women? i have been attractive, unattractive, attractive, unattractive, and attractive alternately with the same woman over 25 years. my initiation is daily at a minimum for all 25 years. guess what, when i am attractive it's never annoying and when i am not attractive it's annoying. go figure.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Flip the script. Realize you are the prize

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

And do what?

[–]Alpha_Engineer992 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whatever the fuck you want.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The things you escape from into the sick reality of the complicated asexual relationship with your wife.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

How many hard no's do you get in order to achieve 1-2x per week? Ratio matters.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Roughly 50/50. But I'd have to get the spreadsheet out to be sure haha

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

So you initiate 2-4x per week? Roughly every other night, sometimes even less?

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

basically yes.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That doesn't sound like constant initiating to me. Maybe your game needs some work? Test it out on other women.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's kinda my point, based on what I read on mrp it would seem I should initiate EVERY night, which for where I am at will just lead to more hard no's and be a needy DLV.

Message I get from comments is to read the moment a go for it accordingly, which is closer to what I am doing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Learn how to properly kino. On the surface, a light touch on the top of her shoulder or neck comes across very differently than grabbing a handful of ass, but they both convey the exact same message. Sometimes i will use both throughout the day mixed with some verbal negging as a push/pull. Its fun as hell for me because i get to watch the hamster spin.

"Why is he being so mean to me? And why am i so wet?"

The key is that I am doing this for my own practice and enjoyment. If it ends in sex, great. It usually does. If it doesn't, great. Ive got other shit to do. Her hamster keeps spinning.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you are trying so hard to alpha up, that you are overthinking all this

The most important thing you could do at this point is to stop fapping and drive all your energy into wanting to fuck. It will change your whole attitude

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Initiating is not the same as game. Learn the difference.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Across that thanks.

I am all for daytime game and kino

and

I want to know what the value of the constant initiating

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So there's an ideal balance between initiating enough to get what you want, and efficiently putting your energy in other tasks. The question is: What if she doesn't agree with that balance. What if that balance for you is X effort initiating for 3 times a week, and her is Y time?

My point is...you aren't likely to agree on that ideal point. So you control what you can. Put your energy where it works most for you. And accept that might not be the ideal outcome you can dream of. BUT might be the ideal outcome you can achieve.

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Chad doesn't need to constantly chase the wife around

Chad has his wife and plates. And doesnt have oneitis.

Initiate when you feel like fucking. Remember to be kinoing/gaming/teasing her beforehand. If you get a hard no, dont get butthurt and go do something else. A good tip is to not initiate on bed time, its hard to "do something else" without being butthurt when its time to sleep.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Remember to be kinoing/gaming/teasing her beforehand

My wife is on to me, i must be too obvious. After kino / game / tease when i start to initiate, she says to me "I knew you were after sex!"

It is pretty funny, we laugh and she usually gives it up after that. But yeah she is onto it.

Other times she 'rainchecks' sex, as in for the next night. It usually happens but as well all know that decision is made the next night, regardless the commitment.

I am really just trying to get away from the situation where she is always just doing it for me. (as said she initiates maybe 1 in 10)

[–]Alpha_Engineer991 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The Bull doesn’t care that cow doesn’t initiate.

You need to be using kino throughout the day. Do drive bys too.

By only using kino right before you initiate, you are telegraphing what you are really after ...

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The Bull doesn’t care that cow doesn’t initiate.

Sidebar this

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

After kino / game / tease when i start to initiate

as others have said, lighten up and vary your kino. more drive by.

but also, when she starts to give you go signals or escalates . . . pull away and make yourself scarce, or just turn it off and watch the game. be prepared for the "i thought you were trying to fuck me shit test" to which the perfect response is some variation of "is that all you think about"

you need to create tension by being less predictable. you want her thinking "is he going to fuck me" not "jeez, here he comes again"

[–]Turbotec0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You only mentioned initiation and not declines. Are you asking about why you always initiate or are you asking if getting so many declines is a problem?

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Am really just highlighting the fact that the message coming through is to initiate, initiate, initiate.... but when probed a bit deeper the responses to this thread are heavily biased towards "kino / game / tease all the time and strike (initiate) when the iron is hot".

Its a bit like the difference between being told "STFU" vs the meaning which is "STFU but dont be autistic"

My declines would be 50/50, as in I initiate 4x per week, and succeed 2x per week, typically.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Which is a bigger problem in your mind: the 50/50 or 2x?

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's an excellent question. I know it's lame to say both equally, but truth is I want 3 or 4x and close to 100% success.

If I had to choose I would up the frequency and let go of the ego / improve the OI.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

even Babe Ruth didn't bat 1000 and he was the Sultan of Swat

if your at 50% and want 3 or 4; initiate every day and take your swing-misses slugger

math

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Chad’s divorced.

[–]Alphaphux0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If she’s overtly hinting that she doesn’t want sex with you (“I’m tired” etc) just focus on upping your SMV.



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