32 year old, wife is 31. Been married for 7 years, dating forever. Since high school. One son, 4 years old.
Things have actually been better the past couple years. I started lifting in 2016. Added weight and muscle since then. I’m a lean guy, super high metabolism. Currently 160 5’9” probably 12-15% bodyfat. Or lower. One rep maxes - squat 240 DL 265 OH 115 row 185 bench 170. I get noticed when we go boating and my wife said to me over the summer she loves being seen with me when I’m shirtless. I’ve turned around an almost dead bedroom by lifting. My wife joined me and changed her diet and lost 40 lbs and looks the best she has in years. Sex is up and it’s good.
I’ve been working dread and abundance. her friends flirt with me. Hooked up outside the marriage. Don’t give a fuck. I’ve spent years loyal to my wife and it got me nowhere. I’m not playing anyone else’s game but my own from now on. I’m almost positive she’s cheated also and she admitted to it while we’re dating. I’d still like to be married to her. She brings value and I want a complete family for my son.
It’s been a stressful winter so far but only because I’m pushing us forward. I control all finances and recently financed a renovation of our kitchen and finished dozens of general updates of our house myself. Fixtures, electrical, painting, carpet, cleaning, organizing, trim pieces, doors, knobs, mirrors, vanities, etc.. Fit in a Caribbean vacation just before that where my wife was bitchy and generally sexless.. drank herself stupid most nights.
So last night we’d both worked out and had dinner and were sitting on the couch for a few minutes before bed. School of Rock was on the tv and my son was liking it. He was banging on a box like it was drums. My wife rescued this cat a few months back and he’s been a pain in the ass. Kid and him wrestle and play and he hurts the cat and the cat scratches him.. we’ve been trying to change the dynamic but my son let’s the cat go into the box and then closes it up and sits on it. Which I thought was funny.
It was almost bed time and I was going to take him up in a couple minutes. She starts yelling at him. Bedtime!! Bedtime!! Go to your room! Which only makes the whole process much worse. I calmly say hey, I got him I’ll take him up in a minute. I was enjoying hanging out with him. I told my son to chill out and leave the cat alone unless he wants to go to bed immediately. My wife springs up from the couch and slaps my face (not hard or a full slap, but hard enough) I was kinda stunned while she ranted about me overriding her parenting ability and demeaning her and that’s why our son never listens to her (he doesn’t listen because he knows she just yells threatens and never actually follows through).
I grab our son and take him up to brush teeth and go to bed. I lost frame here. He was still being a little shit even after I was trying to let him stay up later. I grabbed him roughly and he was crying.
I ended up putting on a nice shirt and going out with her crying and asking me where I’m going. ‘Anywhere but here’ was my response. She asked me to stay and not go but I just walked out and went and had a couple drinks. She never said sorry. Just acted like I was the one out of control.
Any thoughts on how I handled this? What would make of a slap like that? In an improving relationship. I’m not sure how to proceed today.