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Shit Test After Rejection

Reddit View
January 6, 2017
6 upvotes

A short question that I would appreciate some input on. More or less, when I get turned down often she will bring it up later. My default reaction has always been to STFU. Been trying to move forward here. This is 2 recent examples:

  • While getting ready for bed, I decided to escalate. She was kinda receptive til the eminent medium "no". I smiled and went to bed. The next day at some point she says "like last night when you tried to get some and I turned you down so you went to sleep. We could have just cuddled". I simply said "I wanted to do 2 things. One of them was sleep." Smiled and walked away.

  • While watching hockey she was beside me on the couch reading. She asked me something and we switched into conversation briefly. During this time I felt like fucking so I initiated. She basically let me kiss her with 0 effort in return. I got up, went to my beer fridge, grabbed a Pilsner Urquell and came back to the game. She finished her chapter and went to bed. The next day she says something to the effect of "then I turned you down and you went and grabbed a beer because of it". I simply said "I like beer" with a smile and carried on.

My question is are these good techniques for deflecting the shit test or am I still coming off as a butt hurt bitch?


Post Information
Title Shit Test After Rejection
Author drty_pr
Upvotes 6
Comments 68
Date 06 January 2017 07:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206680
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5mfpyj/shit_test_after_rejection/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
shit testgame
Comments

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a very good sign!

These are shitty comfort tests. There are various older threads on MRP that define and discuss them.

They mean that she has noticed your progress and now feels nervous about turning you down, so she's fishing for either a shit-test fail to demonstrate that you're not worth worrying about, or reassurance that you don't mind her refusals; she'll take either at this point.

Your AM responses are perfect here; keep up the AM.

As you progess, these will turn into comfort tests or outright apologies, which you will want to handle correctly to give her calibrated relationship reassurance without absolving her responsibility for the refusal. After even more progress, she'll never turn you down.

Keep up the good work!

[–]mrpthrowa4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your immediate responses are good.

Carry on doing that. But up your dread. Where are you in the levels? She thinks her precious pussy holds power. She thinks you have no options and can do no better.

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

She weaponizes it. The effect it has on me is diminishing though.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

DREAD

[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I started initiating all the time. Like even when I knew it would be a no. Many times a day. This got me past the one or two times in a day where I was really being rejected and it stung. Especially from her point of view, I'm sure it took some of the teeth out the special snowflake feeling she got from saying no.

Fuck, by the time she got to say no to the actual real possibility of us fucking, that hard no was kind of decensitized for both of us. This helped me remain more OI (it's still a sliding scale for me at times).

And it also rolled itself into gaming her too, since I was often kinoing before going for a sex act that I already knew was very unlikely (although I'm sure with enough game and SMV there is no such thing).

Also when you show her you've got a boner all the time, she's much less likely to be excited about you walking around about town in such a state. Which reminds me - you should have considered watching that game at a bar.

Last night I got a hard no because she was feeling unwell, this morning we woke up and I didn't even wait for the no, I just went for it. Before she could even think yes or no I was giving her a great message inside and out. I think they like that decisiveness.

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Should have went to the bar totally man.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

are these good techniques for deflecting the shit test

They look good on paper. The delivery and internalization are the real important issues.

Right now she has the power to withhold sex and she clearly loves it. She is fighting to maintain that power. My advice to men is to take away that power. By any means necessary.

[–]fuckingfocusgodamnit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The direct approach 'yes I either wanted to fuck you or go to sleep' probably won't hurt you, but you've got a great opportunity to A&A this shit man.

Sit down, drop your face and take a very serious tone, "Yeah I've been meaning to talk to you about this baby, because I just got some not great test results back. I didn't want to worry you, but the doctors confirmed it to me today. [long pause] Whenever I get turned for sex down it lowers my heart rate significantly. If you're not careful baby you could put me in a coma. [let her react, call you an asshile, storm away, etc] I really believe in us though. I think we can beat this if we can just come together!"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

That's such bullshit behavior from her. It seems to me you did the right thing. Holding frame is tough.

I even use the holding frame concept in business negotiations now. In the past clients drew me into their drama excuse frames and I fell for it. Now I stay in my frame... but I digress

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

My frame is unbreakable. Single handedly the best part of my MAP

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Her hamster won't rest.

You could also fog:

"We could have just cuddled" -> "Yes, we could have."

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Solid. Thanks blarg

[–]Mecha755 points6 points  (15 children) | Copy

Thats not a shit test. That is outright disrespect. She is rubbing it in your face.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

Gonna disagree with this being disrespect. In the context it almost as seems she knows something is amiss and is going on a fishing expedition.

[–]PurpleVeteranRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's not in her frame any more, and she doesn't know why. Instead of OP negotiating for her desire, she's starting to negotiate for his attention.

These are great responses. Keep up the OI, because the tumblers are turning in her head.

[–]Mecha750 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I would very much like to agree with you on the first example. It changed with the second. She waited until the next day to say something when it is clear she was awake and next to the OP when he got back from grabbing a beer. Why wait a day for that?

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hamster marathon.

Good sign for OP.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I actually agree with u/Mecha75.

Unless she is smiling and being obviously light-hearted, this looks like she's purposely belittling OP and making it known that she knows he was butthurt.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hasn't it been speculated that your testosterone level makes you marginally more aware than most women. Do you really think most women think enough about their men to even be capable of considering his perspective?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

A woman knows when a man is butthurt and if she finds value is exploiting that, she will :).

I don't know OP's situation and I of course couldn't see the wife's tone. But she didn't have to vocalize the connection between her rejection and his activity not once but TWICE. That strikes me as no accident.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was no accident.

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She was not belittling me. She was pissed off. She is pissed off that I am back to trying to fuck her again. After 8 months, it is building up and she realizes my changes are most definitely real.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I totally agree but it probably is not deliberate. Women are simply incapable of understanding how much it hurts a man to violently control his sexuality by throwing their weight around like a bull moose. At the same time, the reason they do it is to feel the power.

On MRP we teach how to (at least give the appearance) that she is losing this power- and the hamster, like all hamsters before, suddenly detects a disturbance in the mound.

The result is almost always this cruel, rubbing it in your face shit testing. The solution, as always, is to refuse to take it seriously.

Carry on warrior. Victory is in sight.

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I hope so man. Keep on keeping on.

[–]nonnimooseWoman, something something dark side1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Are the no's really hard no's and when she's bringing it up the next day is it belittling or is it whiny? Because to me it reads like she was needing you to push a bit harder in those instances. Especially in the first one: "kinda receptive," then next day looking for comfort.

Maybe since there are times when she responds easily or initiates herself, you feel that there isn't/shouldn't be a need for you to be more aggressive. For me there are times when I'm not really in the mood but with more push I will get into it. I feel like my husband knows this so if he doesn't keep up the escalation, I might be fine with it in the moment but the next day I'm wondering if he really wanted me.

They call this LMR followed by hamstering here. :D

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know what they call it. It's not LMR. It pure resistance.

Also she was not looking for me to push through. I know this for a fact.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I think she's waiting for you to try to push past some of those no's… Maybe at least on the first one. The second one where she wasn't even kissing you was BS - i'd consider that an immediate hard no.

So what I would do is push past the soft no's and see if you can actually have sex or wait for the hard no. If you get a hard no, ghost her.

As far as her comments go, those are shit tests but borderline disrespect. I would A&A the shit out of those or STFU if it's blatant disrespect, followed by ghosting.

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I often do. Always results with her getting real pissy. She has a very serious resistance to my dominance. Pushing through hard no is not what she wants. I know this.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

No, push through soft no's – never hard no's

Ghost after hard no's

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lol. I mean "soft no" turns to "banshee demon no" real fast.

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I tend to agree with STP on this one. Maybe you need more time away after the tests. Remove your affection. If she doesn't care if you remove it, keep working on yourself and applying dread until she does.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is how mine is. She doesn't have much middle ground

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think your responses are good here. As BPP pointed out, it does matter what your body language and tone are projecting so be conscious of that but on paper, you're doing it right.

My wife does this too and I've unabashedly and without guilt told her, "cuddles aren't free", "no thanks, I want to fuck, not cuddle", etc. Or I go out and she says, "you don't have to avoid me because we aren't doing it." And I'll just smile and leave.

[–]GongShanks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You know why Canadians fuck doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game.

[–]TheRedThrowAwayPill-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

"like last night when you tried to get some and I turned you down so you went to sleep. We could have just cuddled"

You idiot!

She's telling: "TRY AGAIN!" (But try harder this time)

You should have responded with "I ain't interested in cuddling - I wanna fuck your ass". Something blunt and base. Caveman like.

The second time she's simply making fun of your pathetic attempt: a kiss? Wtf? Reach for her underwear while standing next to her and start tugging on it like "why you gotta be all dressed and shit women?"

medium "no"

Keep escalating. "By no I assumed you meant yes. So confusing. I'll just make believe I didn't hear it".

Or simply just say it straight out: "yo, how long this bullshit libido of yours gonna take. This nut ain't gonna bust itself; and for the love of god would you please drop your underwear already?!"

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Obviously I would have to correct my grammer and not speak to her like I'm a high school drop out, but point takin.

[–]TheRedThrowAwayPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously I would have to correct my grammer and not speak to her like I'm a high school drop out,

Uhhh no. I meant that language. Literal and explicit. Yes, speak like a big school jock. Yes, relax your perfect grammar and slip in some slang.

That's part of the approach, too

but point takin.

[–]All_Ads_Deceive-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Slap her ass. Grab her pussy. You need to make her feel naughty. Be bold

[–]drty_prRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would say I've improved enough to try this. Thanks man



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