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Confusing Bedroom Situation

Reddit View
November 2, 2015

Quick Intro - 35y/o, married 8 years, dead bedroom, 2 year old child. I'm very new to RP and am lifting, reading and shutting the fuck up but I need urgent analysis/advice on my bedroom situation. I'm 3 weeks into NoFap to deal with a lifelong porn/fapping addiction. Horny as fuck 24/7 but dealing with a db so basically involuntary monk mode. I initiate but am usually rejected for a variety of reasons. Its a major chore to get any ass and mostly pity/obligatory sex.


Today we put our daughter down for a nap and my wife went to our room to sleep as well. I was determined to fuck her so I laid next to her and just started rubbing her pussy. She looked at me with a "what are you up to" expression. I told her sarcastically that I hate to inconvenience her but I need 10 minutes of her time and then I'll be on my way. She asks why I want to have sex often all of the sudden and I (again) explained that I stopped porn/fapping and I want to spend that time with her instead. I proceed to smash it more aggressively than usual and whispered in her ear different variations that she better start fucking me more often. She was definitely enjoying it and not starfish, which is progress. I end up blowing the biggest load I can remember (came in her hair from doggy!) and she seemed satisfied. Afterward I told her sternly that I don't care how busy/tired she is - I need more sex with her and she sort of nodded along.


Here's where I'm at a loss. The rest of the day I got hit with a number of shit tests (failed most because I'm weak in this area) and it culminated with this. (I know it's beta but my heart was speaking here). I replied to a comment she made and I said I don't enough intimacy and affection from her anymore. She said something like you can take care of yourself. I reiterated my statement and told her you're my wife and that's what I expect from you. She told me flat out that she's tired 24/7 and just wants to sit on the couch alone and relax and she has no energy for sex. (I think this is partly true and partly bullshit).


Then, she says "why don't you get a side piece"? This is the 3rd time she said this in the past few months but first time she actually seemed serious. She made a few more comments that confirmed she doesn't want a side piece herself, she just wants to be alone and just resting.


Is she fucking serious or is this some kind of advanced Jedi-level shit test to see how I'll react? I genuinely want to fuck her and only her but if my I'll drive is too much and this is how she really feels, then how do I proceed? Would she be expecting everything to stay as is but I get my pussy outside the house? I need some analysis here.

Post Information
Title Confusing Bedroom Situation
Author Quarter_Century_Club
Upvotes 8
Comments 54
Date 02 November 2015 02:25 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betanofapmonk modeshit testlift

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Alpha fucks, Beta bux.

You are not the "alpha fucks" here. She knows full well that you could not get a side piece, which is why she's so happy to recommend it to you as a course of action. Yes, offering it to you is a shit test. An invitation for you to break frame and step into her world view. Apart from the fact that you should be shutting the fuck up (I'll say more later on that), you haven't yet started responding to shit tests properly. At the start. You might have to "fake it til you make it". This means that if you decide not to shut the fuck up on a given occasion, you better fucking have some "agree and amplify" ready, or "amused mastery".

Her: "what are you up to"

You : "rubbing this lamp to see if a genie will come grant me 3 wishes"

It doesn't fucking matter what you say here, really. I just made that up. It comes from a place where my frame is that of someone who knows what he wants. You'd have to be a bit retarded to not understand that she knows EXACTLY what you are up to. You are clearly initiating. Shit tests are foreplay for them. They like to be emotionally engaged. If you go down the "shut the fuck up" route, which you should be, you just say nothing, maintain focused eye contact and escalate whatever it is you are doing. Don't just keep rubbing harder, change her position or something, take off some of her clothes. Keep the eye contact "smouldering". Now, lets say she says "get the fuck off me, I don't want to have sex with you, I'm too tired", or some variation. That's what I would call a "hard no". A direct, no nonsense shut down of interaction. You stop when you get one of those. Leave the bed, leave the house, roll over and go asleep as if it was nothing, whatever you want. But you don't turn it into an argument. Just immediately disengage.

Your initiation basicly sucks. I'd say it's comparable to having a limp dick, and having some fat ugly troll come over and start yanking away on it, where it's clearly not getting hard, and is bordering on nauseating. It's not the physical technique I'm calling out. I'm sure you know how pussies work. It's the context you are setting. Here's another variation you could compare it to. Let's say you are getting a BJ from a hot woman. She's into it, and you are starting to enjoy it. Then she rips a gigantic fart, so she stops for a sec to apologise because she has a stomach cramp. Then she gets back to work, telling you how much she loves playing with your cocktail weiner. She's still really into it though. Next, she makes a huge man belch, and apologises again saying that the stomach cramp is affecting her position, and that she's has the shits all day. So, she needs over and asks you to fuck her in the ass with your carpenters pencil.

With your frame the way it is, that's what your wife is feeling like. Borderline disgusted with having sex with you. SWALLOW THAT PILL. And shut the fuck up about it. It's not her fault you are a weak mother fucker. She's actually helping you out by throwing you shit tests. Giving you plenty of opportunities to demonstrate your new alpha frame. Or at least fake it convincingly. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but you are facing the wrong way looking back at the darkness. She's calling you from the other end, but you only hear what you want to hear.

I need some analysis here.

My analysis is that you are a "classic new guy". You try some things, they seem not to work, and then you come running back to the Internet to find out what to do next. And that's fine. That's OK. Accept your state of affairs. You are new. You are learning, and we are here to point you in the right direction. But the journey is into yourself. Only you will see the small twists and turns that make your journey uniquely yours. You are not shutting up enough. Everything you said to her is cringe worthy. Almost "creepy". And we get it. We've been there.

How's the reading coming? And the lifting? Specifically...

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thank you. I'm essentially victim puking to her and need to employ more STFU. What's frustrating about her is I get literally 15-20 mentions of "I'm so tired" throughout the day that it's becoming comical. Regardless of whether I initiate, she still tells me how tired she is. I need to start firing back at that bullshit.


Reading is going well. I'm compiling all the pieces I need to read and am taking notes as I go. There's a lot to digest but I'm starving for this info. The lifting is great. Week 3 of Stronglifts and feeling great. The hardest part has been taking rest days and not training more.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm at the point where "I'm tired" during the day is like a question, rather than a statement. If I am too tired for sex that night, I'll say "me too". If I'm not tired, I'll tell her that I'm not tired. Meanwhile, I'll pay attention to whether she really is tired, or if she seems to be acting like she is not tired at all (eg. Reading FB, watching TV etc). If she's not literally falling asleep, I'll say : "hey, you are tired, lets go to bed early" and give her a little wink or a slap on the ass. And so on in a kind of mating ritual. Maybe we have sex, maybe we won't. But, like I said, nowadays, when she tells me "she's tired", what I really hear is: "I'm thinking about Sex with you, but I'm not sure if you are too tired to have sex or not, so I'm gonna say I'm tired and see what you do". This is hamsterese 101. Watch what they do, not what they say.

[–]Trekneck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I found that mine would use "I'm tired" throughout the evening when I'd get home, as if prepping me for 5 hours later when I try to initiate. "But i've been saying all night that I'm tired." Right... that afternoon nap you take everyday must make you extra tired. smh

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

More "analysis"

She looked at me with a "what are you up to" expression.

She didn't even need to speak, and you still failed the shit test.

lifelong porn/fapping addiction

Stop victimising yourself.

involuntary monk mode

Stop calling it "involuntary". Own it. Make it voluntary.

Its a major chore to get any ass

Because you are doing it wrong.

I was determined to fuck her so I laid next to her and just started rubbing her pussy.

Way to show her your determination. You can do better than this.

I told her sarcastically that I hate to inconvenience her but I need 10 minutes of her time and then I'll be on my way.

Shut the fuck up.

I (again) explained that I stopped porn/fapping and I want to spend that time with her instead.

Shut the fuck up.

Afterward I told her sternly that I don't care how busy/tired she is - I need more sex with her and she sort of nodded along.

Shut the fuck up.

I replied to a comment she made and I said I don't enough intimacy and affection from her anymore.

Shut the fuck up

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy

Don't negotiate for sex. If you're not yet high value then don't demand it either. Read the 12 stages of dread.

It's hard to say what the side piece comment means. Have you had a side piece before? More importantly, has she? And, perhaps most importantly, are your SMV and game at a level where you could attract and close with someone you actually want to fuck? Until you're at the point where those women want to fuck you, your wife won't want to either.
As for NoFap - quit thinking of yourself as a victim of porn addiction. Watching porn is escapism. It's laziness. Every time you would otherwise have looked at porn, you will do something to improve yourself instead. You used to be someone who watches porn. Now you're someone who lifts, socializes, has hobbies, reads non-fiction, and takes care of things around the house.

[–]Deraileur2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well said. This, OP.

She doesn't want to fuck you. Why? Look hard at yourself. Would you fuck you? Why not? Thats your answer. Fix that. Own Your shit. Be somebody who she wants to fuck. My plates will go 36 hrs without sleep just to come over and have crazy monkey sex. If you have to spank it to dump a load, go ahead, but then own your shit.

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In all honesty, I would fuck me if I were her but I understand the point. She wants more alpha and I'm too beta and until I make the fundamental RP changes I'll be beta bux.

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Neither of us have had side pieces (she's had a few FWBs before me) and no, my SMV isn't at that level yet. I'm sure in the right circumstances I could close one but there'd me quite a bit of rejection/failure.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're realistic and starting to own your shit. That puts you ahead of many guys when they start out.
Anger phase is not a good time to change things. Take this time to read, learn, and shed the victim mentality. An example is her complaint of being tired. Don't try to fix her complaint (unless it's a legit medical or otherwise easily fixed problem, which she may have if she still needs naps when the kid is 2 years old). If you try to change things while angry it is likely to make things worse. Redirect that anger toward the weights in the gym. When the anger is gone then the "amused" part of amused mastery becomes possible. When the anger is gone, you will be the happy, cool guy that women want to fuck.
You can manage shit tests with a low SMV. She'll respect you more and may start to follow your lead, but she still won't be eager to have sex with you.
After months of self-improvement the sex will increase because she'll be willing to fuck you.
When your SMV is high and your frame and game are solid then the sex will be more on your terms because she will want to fuck you. The comfort tests and enthusiastic blowjobs start around this time. The key here is that this is the point where she knows you are a man with options.
/u/FearDearg2015 has laid it out and I'll summarize: this is a slow process. The temptation is to go full bore and apply everything right away, but many of the sexual strategies here depend on her perception that your sexual market value is higher than hers. Right now it isn't.

[–]mrpnoob97181 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I would like to re-iterate the importance of keeping cool during the anger phase and taking that time just absorbing everything you can like a sponge. I believe I am mostly over it now, but in the beginning I could have blown up the relationship somewhat easily.

/u/Quarter_Century_Club : Have you read and ? These won't cure your anger immediately, but over time you may find yourself accepting it as truth, just the way things are, and that acceptance really helped me not be mad at my LTR. You can't be mad at the sun for setting, the ocean for making waves, or your wife for being a woman.

That's just a start but you will also find that you can't fault your wife for not being attracted to you when you are simply unattractive. Take time to improve and learn.

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the links. I haven't read those and will add them to my list.

[–]enfier1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

If your SMV was at that level and you were willing to walk, there would be no way in hell she'd mention getting a side piece. My wife would never utter those words because she knows that I could be fucking someone hotter 2 hours after she said it. The threat of you leaving and getting someone better right now is nonexistent. There's no point in trying to negotiate right now since you've got nothing to work with. All you can do is to keep plugging away at your MAP and keep your SMV climbing.

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Agreed. Today I came home and worked hard on STFU. I noticed she was talking more than usual and a lot of what she was asking me was minutia.

What's interesting is I kept my work clothes (tailored shirt/slacks) on all night (usually I change to casual.immediately) and she started hamstering. Literally asked me 6-7 times why I was still dressed and was more attentive than usual. This was completely unintentional on my part but it really surprised me to see how a minor change can get the wheels turning. Also didn't touch her once all night, which might be the first time in our marriage.

[–]Nogoodsense0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

In the case STFU is minimal conversation? Single word replies, mumbled acknowledgment, etc? No initiating conversation in your own?

Surely you aren't just not saying a single word outright?

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are times where I outright ignore but most of the time just a few words of acknowledgement. She has an army of hamsters that sometimes rapid fire unrelated thoughts that just don't need a reply.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

she's tired 24/7 and just wants to sit on the couch alone and relax and she has no energy for sex...WITH YOU.


The rest of the day I got hit with a number of shit tests

Of course! She is unconsciously testing to see if you are the type of man who can do that type of thing to her body.

I reiterated my statement and told her you're my wife and that's what I expect from you.

Afterward I told her sternly that I don't care how busy/tired she is - I need more sex with her and she sort of nodded along.

This is Dread level 9- have you really taken an entire 8 months for levels 1-8? Have you increased you SMV markedly?

this is how she really feels, then how do I proceed?

Feelz /=/ Realz with a woman. This is her feelz...right now.

Bro, there are a LOT of steps you can take before you jump into the abyss and head on over to /r/redpillnonmonogamy.

A LOT of steps. You are not even responding right to Shit Tests (Level 1)! What is your MAP (Level 2)? What are your long term goals? Do you have a pack of buddies to hang out with when you pull back (Level 3)? Are you doing something awesome? Are you conditioning your availability to her with her sexual submissiveness (Level 4)? Are you dressing up, especially when you go out (Level 5)? Have you started studying PUA (Level 6)? Have you tried using PUA attitudes and cocky/funny demeanor with your wife? Have you tried cold approaching and get 10-20 number closes (Level 7)? Have you shown your wife that you REALLY COULD get a girlfriend or FWB pretty quickly if you set your mind on it by flirting with girls in front of her (Level 8).

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Understood. I realize I'm jumping way ahead of the process at times but there's a lot of anger, frustration and disappointment that is leaking out. STFU is the first step I need to master particularly because I've always been the beta that "talks things out". That has to stop.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

lift that anger out of your system.

Stop expecting anything from her, you aren't worth even asking for it. Go unfuck yourself, then you'll find her (or her replacement) more than happy to meet your needs.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Getting a side piece is just another shit test.

Very very few woman will be willing to let her beta bux shag someone else on the side, it would be letting go of her resources and control over you.

I am also dealing with a 'tired' wife. She has also suggested I get something on the side, but reads my texts to other woman and gets pissed of and accuses me of having affairs which at that stage was not true.

Fact is, you and me both, our SMV is still too low and in my case, my wife still does not believe I am willing to divorce. She does not feel dread because deep down she knows I won't just pack up and leave.

Slow down the approach, fap to release some steam. Keep your wits about you and stay in your frame.

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Right. She knows I wouldn't divorce and the truth is that's the last thing I want. But, if our relationship continues to deteriorate and the db is unresolved then that option will have to be considered.


I'm done with fapping. I want the steam to build because it raises my aggression for pursuing her, which I neglected so much in the past and keeps the fire strong for making these RP changes.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same motivation I had to start nofap. To be honest, I don't give a shit about masturbating, one way or the other. I'm at the stage now where if I wanted to do it, I would. I've absolutely broken the "habitual" component of it, by now (100+ days without whacking off) and the thought rarely crosses my mind. I don't miss it, but I dont consider it a "demon" that needs to be suppressed either.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I can only give you my personal experience on this.

When my SO suggested I get a girlfriend, several times, she was just plain NOT attracted to me. This finally went away improved as my SMV has increased. But, sadly, it is a loss of attraction.

Think of it this way. If you found her completely unattractive, might you say the same thing to her? Even tho your are horny as fuck, suppose she just doesn't do it for you, and, you need some way to manage keeping her away from you while you keep a shitty marriage intact.

The up side of this, I believe, is that she is showing some commitment to the marriage. Of course, the downside is that this is generally an unworkable idea for most couples. You actually getting a girlfriend would provide her hamster with the proof that she needs to next you, in spite of the fact that she brought it up, promoted it, and approved it.

For me, I had to park my ego at the airport and keep working on me, because I was getting a 100% down vote from my SO. But it seems to me that you are already starting to improve - good luck.

[–]alphabeta49Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I told her...I (again) explained...I told her sternly...I replied to a comment...I said...I reiterated my statement...

This is your first problem.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Sarcasm is weak, stop using it as pillow talk.

There's sidebar reading, nmmng and wisnifg. Read those and manipulated man, helps to get you a little angry, then point out where you are fucking up and where to fix c it.

But the long game here is the 12 stages of dread. Assume 8 months of escalating it start with 1-5, which are passive, and then up from there.

Considering the last steps are either telling her but to bother because you have side action, or kicking her out for your side action... It will get you laid one way or another.

The rest is hard work in the gym and kitchen. If you don't look fuck able to other women now, lift and eat clean until you do. Luckily with all these rejections, you should have plenty of time. Hell, initiate just before you go to the gym, so a hard no and you're out the door anyways. Then a more subtle disengagement emotionally doesn't look as butmad.

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I did read through the dread and will start implementing those asap. We both work out at 5am - I have a basement gym and she does cardio upstairs in a spare room. I'd have go for a drive/go do something of interest outside the house in that scenario.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I guess you would

[–]Trekneck0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why not cut the home gym loose and spend the $10-$30 a month so you can actually get out of the house to go the gym?

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not opposed to the gym and understand the importance for getting out of the house but 5am is the only time I can get in a solid workout and I dropped about a grand in the past few months for the home gym.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Also, if she is 'tired' all the time even when you are not initiating I would rule out medical. Captain up mate and make an appointment for your First Officer to get checked out. Normal people are not tired all the time and you need to rule out things like cancer and so on before going further. This is also an opportunity for you to show leadership of the family.

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Actually, I took those steps a few months ago and pressed her to get checked. She had a few blood tests exams, etc and all is well. I know part of the problem is she has a whole family of hamsters and she's always mulling over decisions, problems, grudges, which fucks with her sleep. Should be fun times when those hamsters turn their attention to me.

[–]dandar46000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"why don't you get a side piece"?

She fully knows you're not good enough to get a side piece at this time. You say you dropped 40 pounds and got a home gym. With a membership at least you could be out of the house a bit. With home gym it's only work then home. You need to find life outside of the home more.

In own your shit weekly thread you mentioned your wardrobe consists of sweaters and other shit she picked out for you. I'd go to JCrew, Calvin Klein and spend a grand or more on a whole new wardrobe. Some of my favorite clothes are JCrew shirts and jeans. Couple that with some stylish shoes and you're ready for a night on the town every time you leave your house.

One of the best things to happen to me early on in my RP journey was a friend of mine (also a coworker) playfully trying to get me in trouble with the wife cause when I take lunch time walks a good looking girl from work joined me on a few of them. Instant dread and it took no effort on my part.

I don't think your wife actually wants you to fuck other women. I think she wants you to try, get shut down and the come home with tail between your legs. If she thought you had a chance getting sex from other women she wouldn't say that. She wouldn't risk losing the resources you bring on you knocking up another woman.

[–]mediamole0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

In a nutshell: stop worshipping pussy and improve yourself.

The guys are on point here when they say you have a low SMV, certainly in your "tired" wife's eyes as she baits you to find a girlfriend. I recommend:

  1. Do what's always recommended here, read that sidebar then read it again until you understand it.

  2. Embark on the levels of "dread", especially Level 2, which is self-improvement. I don't know all your details, but I'd bet my house you have a LOT of self-improvement in front of you. Do it and worry about sex down the road. In fact, if you're working out, sharpening at work and doing those many things, you'll have a lot less time to be obsessing on sex.

  3. You're like a binge/purge eater with your dick. Stop it. You shouldn't be stroking all day, but you shouldn't be compelled to go cold turkey, because you'll find yourself in nofap subs way too often. You post there almost every other day when you "relapse." Yank it when you need to, then go back to point #2.

  4. Change your username. Dude, you've named yourself after how long you've been "addicted" to jerking off. WTF?

Stop thinking short term. You've just dipped your toes in this water and you have a shit-far distance to go. Stop worrying about sex with your wife and move to improving your life.

You'll get there and you'll get both if you keep learning.

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the reply. Those are all great points and I'm well underway with dread #1 and #2. We're actually having sex (obligatory for her) more frequently and I've moved passed the constant obsessing about it. Done letting it rule my thoughts.


As for the username, I chose that because I only got on reddit for NoFap so seemed like a good idea at the time. I see your point though. Can usernames be changed while keeping the same account?

[–]thelotusknyte-2 points-1 points  (18 children) | Copy

She is probably cheating or thinking of cheating.

No sex + always tired + suggesting you getting side action means to me that she is cheating or has cheated and if you do that her hamster will feel better.

[–]TheOakenshield4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

I don't think so. I believe /u/FearDearg2015 is right with his initial post, it's a shit test. She doesn't think he can, doesn't believe he has the balls, and she is taunting him with it.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This was my motivation- even more than fresh pussy was sticking it to my sex denying, taunting bitch of a wife and showing her that yes, I could replace her- and it would not even be that hard.

When I internalized this is just about when everything changed.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

lol that'll show her.

Note to lurkers, that's not actually what he's saying. He is talking about feeding off the situation to create discipline.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol for sure- the reality is when I actually got to that place, I no longer had any desire to "stick it" to my wife (except in the usual way).

Get your motivation from wherever you can get it but if you need to get it from hatred or anger, just make sure you don't hold onto it. Use it for motivation and then let it go.

[–]thelotusknyte0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your idea sounds logical too.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Always a possibility.

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

It's impossible for her to be cheating because we're together A LOT (more than is healthy for a couple, which is another area to address) and she has a very demanding job that requires constant work.


I also don't believe she wants to cheat. Her world right now is caring for our daughter, running a charity and rest/sleep. She gives minimal fucks about anything else.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

LOL. So many parallels in our lives :) you could be my identical life twin.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's not exactly a new story. This one is as old as 3rd Wave Feminism.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, but I wasn't referring to his romantic situation. If he said he was a software developer, I swear I'd think he was planted by the directors of the FearDearg2015 show

[–]Redneck001Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

My wife used to give me the "I'm tired" thing every day. Also told me to get a girlfriend.

Give it time. As you step up your game, that kind of bullshit disappears

[–]itstartstoday1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe we should tally Up how many guys get this line from their wives. My wife has said this a few times. Pre trp I said "no honey I want you"

Three weeks ago she said it after a hard no and I fucked with her a bit and said "OK, thanks hun!" grabbed my phone and walked to the living room. She came out and I had brought up a few dating sites, she looked over my shoulder, fight ensued. Or at least she was mad. I was on the floor laughing.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, and also, you know, sometimes they are tired :) I guess it's a sign of how beta we let ourselves become, when we start to interpret "I'm tired" as a preemptive hard no :)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who cares?

she's not fucking you, chances are she's not fiscally pulling her weight, and is her mothering better than a nanny with you could do alone?

you have dead weight roommate scenario... Why wouldn't you? If I were a hot chick, would I fuck you? If I was a financial savvy woman, would I want your dick to destress after work?

[–]thelotusknyte0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Ok. I'll take that. What are you doing about spending so much time together then?

[–]Quarter_Century_Club[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Nothing...yet. Im reading, lifting and shutting the fuck up for the next few weeks and keeping the routine intact until I have absorbed the RP curriculum and have a definitive plan.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

stick with it. Do not:

Tell her about your books (you take ownership for changes, and don't blame it on a book)

Tell her about what you want (acta non verba)

use her as an emotional tampon (frustration, tears, anything)

realize your attention, comfort are contingent on your needs. If you aren't fucked on the regular, then theres no need to give her any time, you should be doing dread 3 anyways

[–]thelotusknyte0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good plan

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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