I messed up

MsVioletCline · 2020-09-08T22:07:04+00:00

I know you’re looking for supportive and nurturing and understanding, but what the hell did I just read? I am not even kink shaming, but this person choked you until you had broken capillaries? People get arrested for attempted murder for less than that.

heythere360 · 2020-09-08T23:47:41+00:00

This past time, the one time I saw him after vacation he choked me very hard with a towel from behind and the next day i woke up with broken capillaries all over my face.

When I tell you my mouth DROPPED.

⚠️ THIS IS NOT NORMAL. THIS IS NOT OKAY. ⚠️

skyerippa · 2020-09-08T23:05:30+00:00

This is the same story as so many of us. We think we find HVM and then just go with the flow and it’s a mess. To be clear, you were targeted by this man. You need to ask them tough questions and making the dating experience not so easy for them. You cannot go with their flow. You go with your flow and lead. They adapt. If not, goodbye. I know it’s hard but you have to be the one in control. Also be aware that the sex (aka abuse) you had can give you some really negative consequences mentally now that it’s over. For me, it was almost like the abusive sex made my brain actually feel abused. When he left I was DEVESTATED. I spent months knowing how awful he was and just like trapped in this weird state of mind where I needed his validation. It was not my fault and anything you are feeling now is not your fault. Treat yourself with kindness like you are an abuse victim not like you are at fault in any way. It DOES get better. Hugs

zebrazeeza69 · 2020-09-08T22:52:14+00:00

Girl, I am so sorry to read about your experience 🥺 Please don't let him come back into your life.

ShitFaced_Dumbledore · 2020-09-08T23:56:58+00:00

Girl I’m sorry you went through that but read the handbook!!!! You never consider a man High Value unless you’ve properly vetted for months. The minute he does something low value you need to be ready to drop him. Read the handbook, maybe take a break from dating and work on setting boundaries.

StrainingMyNeurons · 2020-09-08T23:10:56+00:00

I think a good while ago there was an article on this sub about several girls who got murdered by sick scrotes during sex. All very nice looking girls, from apparently good families, well educated. Most of the scrotes (if my memory serves me well), with the exception of one drug dealer with tattooed face, all dressed well, presented well and spoke well. If someone could dig up that article, the OP might find it helpful and it’s likely going to show her how lucky she is.

eveninghope · 2020-09-08T22:19:29+00:00

Why were you even over at his place a week in? Just because he's not a disgusting broke slob doesn't mean you know anything about him. Good looking guys w good jobs can also be super shitty - and frankly often are. If you loved yourself you wouldn't have felt so easily pressured. Focus on that for now. I hope you consider this a lesson.

hairwashernova · 2020-09-08T23:15:59+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you. I've been where you've been. Please don't apologize for not knowing any better and try to get to a safe place ASAP. The best thing you can do is go get checked out to make sure your bruises aren't life threatening. (Even if it was a while ago, a check-up is good for you anyways.) Then tell someone you trust about what happened and see if you can stay with them for the time being. After going thru what you did, you'll need all the support you can get. Please, please for your safety, block him and cut all contact with him starting this moment. He's dangerous and crossed your boundaries so many times by pressuring you into sex and now choking you. That's not just a red flag, that's the motherfucking warning sign to leave his ass behind. I'm praying for your safety and I hope everything goes well. Stay safe.

debbiechongo · 2020-09-09T02:50:24+00:00

Next time don’t tell him you don’t want to have sex right away, that’s a challenge to him. Instead, just don’t have sex.

2020-09-09T04:36:01+00:00

Have you seen a doctor? Cutting off the airway can have lasting effects that won't show up until later. Get yourself checked out.

Definitely take a step back for a while from dating, this was some pretty heavy stuff. Read the handbook through a few times, there are some pretty big red flags here. Take care of yourself, okay?

0kfornow · 2020-09-09T05:12:07+00:00

They're mostly shit. Just remember that.

LunaBoops · 2020-09-09T02:03:53+00:00

I really relate to this. If you want to chat I'm here. Hugs babe

achelois_healer · 2020-09-09T03:42:21+00:00

If he was HVM he would have respected your decision to wait. Just saying.

GlitteringAdvice2020 · 2020-09-09T07:40:29+00:00

Take a step back from dating for a while. Read and read-read the handbook and some of the FDS approved books - How to spot a dangerous man before you get involved and women who love to much. I’ve been in your situation before and these books were eye openers for me.

skyerippa · 2020-09-08T22:29:14+00:00

[deleted]

reina_nova · 2020-09-09T00:34:10+00:00

OMG... Read the Handbook.

mirroronfire2 · 2020-09-08T23:19:43+00:00

This is not at you sweetie, but we need to stop sleeping with these men [so early]

Title	I messed up
Author	skyerippa
Upvotes	36
Comments	30
Date	September 8, 2020 6:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iozaaw/i_messed_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-messed-up.212542 https://theredarchive.com/post/212542

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