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My beginning - What am I doing wrong?

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March 28, 2019
13 upvotes

Hi guys,

I found that sub-reddit about two weeks ago and it attracted me very quickly

About me:

I look good, get compliments and flirtations from girls in my neighborhood, I have a good job and I earn well, I am funny and very sociable.

I have to lift, my body is pretty small but I've already started working on it vigorously.

I am with my wife 3.5 years, our relationship is good, almost do not argue, I do not feel that she is trying to prevent me from doing things I love, but our sex is bad.

Before my wife I was with very few girls and I did not accumulate such experience, but my wife was in a lot of relationships and with lots of men (some just for sex) - to be honest it does not bother me so much "what was before me," but I will not lie, I've thought about it a few times.

At first the sex was good for me slowly I realized that I was not good, she was mostly active, complained that I do not initiate sex at all and pretty boring. It took me a while to realize that I was bad, I started to initiate more, stronger and try new things and be more active.

But after a year and a half in a relationship my wife started to want less sex, I got more rejections and sex became very vanili.

She is not willing to blowjob me because she said it's make her choke and beacuse she dont like the taste of the spearm. She is willing to do almost only missionary (making a face when I want a different position), not willing to try anal even though it's a very big fantasy of mine. It annoys me very much, I think a lot about how I'm not as satisfied as I would like, I find myself doing a handjob 2-3 time a week (I just stopped following the materials I read here)

I got to talk to her several times about not being so pleased, the first few times she would accuse me of not trying enough and not initiating enough, of course I took the blame on myself and worked with me. The last two times we talked about it she admitted she had less desire than I and she was trying to work on it.

She goes through some difficult periods (social, university, family) and I understand that it affects her desire but what about my need for satisfaction ??

The sentence that strangled me the most was the article I read:

"If she really loved me she'd allow me anal sex."
"I'd be OK without anal if she had refused all previous boyfriends, but she let her boyfriend Chad fuck her ass, so as her husband I should get it, too."

It just described me, she tried anal with a guy she was dating only two months, And I, who have been with her for 3.5 years and she loves me so much, will not try (claiming it hurt her that time) even though she knows how much I want to try? I think about it a lot.

I put my happiness in sex in her hands, and I'm frustrated when she refuses (I never got to tell her not to sex)

The one time of the week she does agree it feels like some of the time is just to please me and not out of behingh horny.

I am a good husband, help my wife, support her, love her, why does not she rip my clothes off?

In the past, she had a lot of desire, proof of this is that she has rich sexual experience, so why with me is it different?

I'm angry, I'm frustrated, what am I not doing well?

I feel that I will find the answer here


Post Information
Title My beginning - What am I doing wrong?
Author Future_Desire
Upvotes 13
Comments 31
Date 28 March 2019 11:21 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/223552
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/b6hk9r/my_beginning_what_am_i_doing_wrong/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
Chadlift
Comments

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"36 points37 points  (3 children) | Copy

Your wife thinks you're a pussy.

Largely because you're a pussy.

A few problems with a few of your strategies:

  • "My body is pretty small." - Bad.
  • "At first the sex was good for me slowly I realized that I was not good, she was mostly active, complained that I do not initiate sex at all and pretty boring." - Worse.
  • "I got to talk to her several times about not being so pleased." - Worst.

The difference between you and the guy she was doing for two months - the anal fiend - is the difference between those three things above - plus the common, every-day-same-old-stuff that creeps into relationships - and something new and spontaneous - with someone who does not do those three awful things above.

You need to bring back the "new and spontaneous," while going from skinny, library nerd to brawny, ripped, swolable, masculine dude.

You're an uber-ectomomorph to boot, coupled with your lack of initiations, and maybe your hormones are fucked too. Sounds like for some time you had more estrogen coursing through your body than your wife did, and that your wife was registering higher numbers of testosterone than you.

Fix that shit.

I put my happiness in sex in her hands.

Gay. Gay. Gay.

I am a good husband, help my wife, support her, love her, why does not she rip my clothes off?

Because you're gay, gay, gay.

TLDR:

You are gay. If you don't want to be gay you must simply:

  • Increase your testosterone, which is clearly gutter-level.
  • Increase your muscle mass, which you describe as "pretty small."
  • Stop talking about your feelzTM with your wife; she has her own problems, she doesn't need to hear about yours.
  • Initiate sex - rejections or not - because a non-initiating-dude is not a dude at all. He is gay. Like you.

Faggot.

p.s. "I am a good husband." Good as in Beaver Cleaver, sure. Good as in your wife wants to drive to work, meet you in the bathroom, rip off your pants, and blow you? No.

Don't be fucking Beaver Cleaver.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think this guy is probably Indian, and that makes things that much worse (for him). We've seen this before; the gayness is baked into his culture.

Plus, it's Ward Cleaver. Beaver is the kid, which is what he actually has been so far.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Savage.

[–]Nodeal_reddit3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fukin tough love, mate. Lol.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando35 points36 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm going to translate some womanese for you:

Her " I don't blowjobs coz they make me choke and I don't like the taste of sperm"

Translation "I'm not putting your beta cock anywhere near my mouth. On the other hand, if it were Chad's cock, I'd let him ram it down the back of my neck and skull fuck me as hard as he could till I gagged, then I'd swallow every last drop of his cum."

Her - "I only do missionary"

Translation - "I hate having sex with you and only do teh minimum when I have to and with the least amount of effort required in order to keep you around. Please hurry up and finish quickly, I have more satisfying things to be doing like emptying the dishwasher"

Her - "You don't initiate sex at all and are pretty boring"

Translation - "please don't try and have sex with me, you are boring."

Her - "I don't do anal"

Translation - "I'm not doing anal. With you"

Her - " I tried anal with a guy I dating for two months"

Translation - "I was with this really hot guy once and he fucked me up the ass on the first night. Fucked me so hard, I could barely sit down for days afterwards. We spent the next two months fucking each other in every concievable position and location you could imagine. I still get wet thinking about it."

Her - " I go through some difficult periods (social, university, family) and that it affects my desire"

Translation - " It's great to have excuses other than 'I have a headache / I'm tired' "

Her - " I don't have much desire these days but I'm trying to work on it"

Translation - "I don't want to fuck you because I find you unnatractive. Please go and work on that"

Her - " I'm angry, I'm frustrated, what am I not doing well? "

Translation - oh, wait.. that was you. Thought it was her coz it sounded like something a chick would say.

Welcome to the club dude. You've found the right place.

Now, lift, STFU and sidebar till your bones ache, your head hurts and your eyes bleed.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Top level savage truth

[–]dll1422 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen to this advice.... It's spot on.

Read the side bar. The good news is that you can't fall further from the floor.... the only direction you can go is up. So, get to work and show your wife you are a real man with a mission. Read, lift, OYS, game, kino, be dominate, STFU and DON'T DEER, be playful and funny... rinse and repeat.

[–]aherrns2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is pure fucking gold.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

Welcome. You found the right place. You're establishing that you will sign up for classes and put on the white belt. First step is devouring the sidebar material.

Everything you've been told about relationships is a lie.

But it's ok , so stay calm.

You are going to have to start an uncomfortable path that goes against what you thought. But start there. Read the books and links. Then we can help fill in the rest, but like we can't lift weights for you, you have to do the work and effort yourself first before we can coach on form...

[–]aherrns9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is the most polite answer you will find. It's full of wisdom and unconditional love for you as a new brother.

The others will be also full of wisdom and unconditional love but they are going to rip you apart. With love.

So keep on reading.

Faggot.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Listen to /u/Countpudyoola

[–]aherrns0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Been der an done dat! Awesone!

[–]NMMNG_11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP, you have no idea how important, loving, and life changing, this post is. LISTEN.

[–]resolutions3167 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read the books on the sidebar. Seriously.

This post is ridiculous on many, many levels...

But my favorite part - the, truly, the piece de resistance of this whole thing -

Is that you link to this post

And then immediately say:

It just described me, she tried anal with a guy she was dating only two months, And I, who have been with her for 3.5 years and she loves me so much, will not try (claiming it hurt her that time) even though she knows how much I want to try? I think about it a lot.

I put my happiness in sex in her hands, and I'm frustrated when she refuses (I never got to tell her not to sex)

...Which means you COMPLETELY missed the point of said post.

Read the fucking sidebar.

Edit: On a second read....

I am a good husband, help my wife, support her, love her, why does not she rip my clothes off?

....sounds more like a troll to me.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don’t realize how pathetic you are.

Not only are you so terrible in bed that your willing wife is less and less willing, but you’re starting to grow that crippling jealousy that “I’ve missed out on great sex and my wife dicked a bunch of Chads; therefore I should get that treatment also”

Also, lots of chicks or been with are not into anal sex ... until they start having sex with me. Then, magically, they are totally open to it. Why is that? I’m great at sex and they know when they have six with me, not only will I take care of them with a handful of strong orgasms when we have sex, I am a capable and confident lover. They recognize me as being in charge and they let me do things other guys don’t get to do.

I won’t even respond to all the other garbage in your post because you’re too green and clueless and haven’t read the sidebar or done your work.

[–]rocknrollchuck4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Here's a post that sums up what's happening to you: Every Unhappy Wife is a Rape Victim.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP's post also made me think of that Archwinger classic.

[–]johnn20156 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This sounds like a snippet from No More Mr. Nice Guy.

[–]SepeanRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am a good husband, help my wife, support her, love her, why does not she rip my clothes off?

Because none of those things are alpha, and alpha is what turns girls on.

You need to read the sidebar, it's clear you have no idea what is going on in her head. Everything is explained there.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have to lift, my body is pretty small

But after a year and a half in a relationship my wife started to want less sex

Hit the gym... get lots of protein and calories.. bulk up

I am a good husband, help my wife, support her, love her, why does not she rip my clothes off

Ok, now it’s starting to look like a troll

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go to the gym right now and start lifting. Read the sidebar while you do cardio or listen to all 3 rational male audio books while you pick up heavy shit.

Start with the rational male. It will explain why she is the way she is.

And put a piece of tape over your big mouth.

Dont skip that book.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are not attractive to your wife.

Fix that.

Read about the multiple ways you are fucking up right here on the sidebar. Textbook beta. Your wife wears the pants.

She has a pussy, she doesn't want another.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The one time of the week she does agree it feels like some of the time is just to please me and not out of behingh horny.

Hmmm, if only their was a subreddit with carefully selected and curated readings on how to activate the attraction triggers in women!

Do you even sidebar brah?

why with me is it different?

You can't handle the truth right now but since you asked I suspect you will get it. Be prepared to reap the whirlwind of 'faggot' and 'pussy' and 'unattractive.' Get thee to the Iron Temple and read up on the 12 Levels of Dread. You are still at Level 0. To move up start taking charge more often and learn how to respond to Shit Tests. Then build a busy life (level 3).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its a slow process.. at least you found this place.

Now go read all the books suggested. I had to read them twice because the amount of information can be overwhelming and counters almost everything you were taught. Its like changing religions.

Go lift your weights and pack on muscle... Nothing will happen fast BUT nothing should get worse than you are now if you progress something everyday. Things should change for you if you adopt the theories here.

The changes in your wife's attitude towards you (and sex) will change at the same pace as your muscle growth... Very slowly - but it will if you stick to it

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The good news: You are in the right place. That is all.

Get to work.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're in the right place. The only thing I have to add to the advice you've been given is to STFU about the work you're doing. Don't go looking for validation, not from anyone but especially not from your wife. NMMNG is going to tell you to talk to your wife about what you're doing. Don't. That's horseshit and it will make your life a thousand times harder if you do.

[–]NordicVikingKing0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of great advice and tough love that made me laugh, but seriously your sexual polarity is way off course. You should be ripping her clothes off, not vice versa. Get your T levels checked quickly and address this without delay.

I’m guessing that you probably don’t even wake up with a boner every morning. That will be one lead indicator you’re edging back on course.

You’ve got a shitload of work to do, so go do it!

[–]jcrptaRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like you've found this sub at a good time. Lots of men (myself included) don't find it until things are so bad there's years of fuckups to undo. And you can't undo years of fuckups in a few weeks.

Now, back to the matter in hand:

  • Read the /r/marriedredpill sidebar. All of it. Buy the books, read them. You don't have to agree with every word, you don't have to like every word (I promise you, you won't like every word!). But read them all the same.
  • When you've finished, read them again. Even if you don't agree with them, you still should understand what they're saying. I bet you anything you like more than a few of them will speak to you.
  • Hit the gym. Regularly. At least three times a week. And lift weights. If you've never done that before, talk to a personal trainer for a couple of sessions - you don't necessarily need a trainer but you do need to know how to do this without hurting yourself; a good trainer will show you how to do it.
  • Take a good, hard look at yourself. Would you want to be fucked by you? No? So why should your wife?
  • This is a marathon, not a sprint. You are doing this for your benefit; not anybody else's. Put the effort in and keep it up even when it feels like shit. It'd be easy to go back to the bad old ways, but I promise you in a few months of doing this you won't want to.

[–]Future_Desire[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I understand that I have much more to learn and as I mentioned, I am at the beginning.

I'm going to lift like crazy, and read the Sidbar until my eyes will bleed.

What I need from you now, some points on which I need to focus more (depending on my situation I have described)

Open my eyes

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Open my eyes" ?

No, that's for you to do or not.

Read , lift, stfu (here, too until you have done some work), and post to the own your shit thread on /r/marriedredpill

Otherwise you're just wasting your (and our) time until you start.

That's really all we can do for you at the moment.

[–]becoming_alpha2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I put my happiness in sex in her hands, and I'm frustrated when she refuses

You are not attractive to your wife and this is fundamentally why. You're relying on her for your happiness. Stop and think about that for a second. She has her own life to live, her own thoughts and feelings and stuff to deal with, and she has to manage your happiness too? You're like a leech sucking the life and happiness out of her because you can't generate your own. That's exhausting for her and is why you're not attractive to her. You're like a man-sized child she has to take care of. Does that sound sexy?

Of course you're frustrated when she refuses sex. You don't have a life and your happiness is in her hands (or pussy). Stop that. Read NMMNG starting today and post every week to OYS. The fact that you're here asking questions means there's hope, but you have to put in the work. The most fundamental of all is for you to become a man whose happiness comes from within, not from you wife's validation. All the responses here are on point, read them, internalize them, and get to work.



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