Covert Contracts and STFU

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June 26, 2019

Hello Men,

There's a question that has been lingering in my process for a while. I was a text book Nice Guy. The book NMMNG talks extensively about covert contracts. The whole manosphere also talks extensively about STFU.

Can someone explain the two seemingly contradicting thoughts to an autist like myself?

Post Information
Title Covert Contracts and STFU
Author 88Tyler
Upvotes 12
Comments 32
Date 26 June 2019 03:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando29 points30 points  (11 children) | Copy

When you have a retarded question and you expect people to take you seriously, that's a covert contract.

When you STFU, no one realises that you are retarded.

When in doubt, STFU.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Felt good didn’t it Daddy Bill?

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Winner . /thread

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.012 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt."

[–]simbarlionRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm going to counter that with

"there is no such thing as a stupid question"

Both scenarios in your quote (ask and look stupid, or don't) point to Giving to many Fucks about other people's view of you, maybe relevant in say a boardroom type situation, where you are meant to know the answer.

But its called 'ask' mrp for a reason. Op asked a basic question and got roasted for being lazy*.

*edit: Actually the majority of replies were helpful

[–]RPeed0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Giving to many Fucks about other people's view of you, maybe relevant in say a boardroom type situation, where you are meant to know the answer.

You won't thrive in a Boardroom unless you ask questions. All of which are going to feel stupid for your exact reason. Each one maybe a risk, but when sharks stop swimming: they die.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes I agree. I was just dreaming up an environment where you might be supposed to know the answer.

But I have to admit some people are lazy and can't be arsed finding answers themselves. That annoys me.

[–]QueenSlapFight1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep. That's a quote I've carried with me a long time and think of it frequently (I like to say stupid shit if I don't check myself). I think it's attributed to Lincoln but I don't know if he actually coined it.

[–]RoccoPinkman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

(I like to say stupid shit if I don't check myself).

I can relate to this. Sometimes to STFU is the only response necessary.

[–]40mullet0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You are fake alpha. There is no way you have put in any work. You read some theories and found your place in the world where you can call everybody retarded and faggot and nobody challenges you? Go ahead, keep posting your retarded stories, who the hell compares self improvement to sucking dick and swallowing cum? Or put in some real work and maybe someday you have something to give back to others.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Still choking on dick, I see.

[–]helaughsinhidden9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy

CC is covered pretty well and I assume you get it from the books, so let's open up the STFU a bit. This can be a little more nuanced.

Your woman will shit test you. When you receive the disrespect, your default blue pill feeling pushes you to act by addressing it right away. Maybe you say something sarcastic, maybe you scold her and tell her not to talk that way, possibly you go full hulk and body slam her from the top turn buckle. None of those is recommended.

STFU is simply not showing a reaction to her shit test.

You don't get butthurt, you don't correct her, you don't pout or cry, you don't become defensive or explain yourself, and you definitely don't use a chokehold. You let her little comment slide off of you like a drop of water off of the feathers of a duck. Then you exit to let the hamster do all the talking for you.

It will tell her things like:

  • "Why isn't he groveling?"
  • "How can he just walk out on me?
  • "I am mad, why is he so confident?"
  • "What does he know that I don't?"
  • "Does he think he can replace me?"
  • "Is there already another woman?"
  • "This worked on my last boyfriend, why not him?"
  • "He treated me like I was a little kid....... was I acting childish?"
  • "Where did he go?"
  • "When is he coming back?"
  • "Is he coming back?"
  • "What was in his gym back he took with?"

Then you return in a reasonable time and act as if it never happened and you sincerely didn't even care that she got her little feelings all worked up. Sometimes 15 minutes, sometimes 2 hours to go to the gym. You don't stop talking completely though. When you return, you have your full frame intact and you don't bring it up because you aren't upset at all. Keeping the STFU going for an extended time or for days on end is called STONEWALLING. SW is petty, bitter, weak and worst of all, kills her good feelz. Only do this if you are actually trying to make her break it off and GTFO.

[–]stoicstephen2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

My ex LTR used to constantly criticize and undermine my driving skills.

My default reaction was to STFU and ignore, act like she wasn't even there.

My mind told me that that reaction was the correct one, but my gut told me that I should just shut that down from the start and create a boundary.

Internaly I was building up resentment, but my logic was that by demonstrating my anger towards her actions, I was breaking frame.

After reading NMMNG, I questioned this even more.

What's your opinion?

[–]helaughsinhidden12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

My wife used to do this and it became really bad. Not only criticism but back seat driving like she was part of an unwanted GPS system. I would get so angry that I found I was intentionally driving bad to piss her off. Things like running yellow lights, +10 over limit, hard braking, fast accelleration, etc. Worse yet, subconsciously at times I would trust that she was helping and actually miss something like her blind spot because she gave me an unsolicited update all week long, until it would have been useful.

The bad driving reinforced her hamster brain. STFU didn't work because she would start to believe she was the source of my good driving when she thought it was good. Then, thanks to RP, I learned to use AGREE AND AMPLIFY.

Typical exchanges start with wife and I in the car, her tone is always a bit condescending and snotty and I am always responding deadpan with a grin or laughing when she reacts.

We are about to turn left on a busy street with many cars or just one car.

Wife: "Watch out for that car"

Me: "Where?" dart my head around "I don't see any cars here?!" keep up the act until it is passed us, then drive on

The exact moment the light turns green at a stop light.

W: "The light is green, you can go"

M: "Looked teal to me, I thought let's be safe and wait for a more forest green"

We are on the highway going 60mph and a deer is in the woods to the right of us 20 yards away and not moving.

W: "DEER! Watch out!"

M: "Absolute Legend! You've saved out lives, how can I ever repay you?"

I am driving and obeying laws and a cop is parked in a lot drinking coffee.

W: "Cop!"

M: I hand her my phone or whatever is close to me..."Quick, stuff this in your vagina in case he pulls us over"

So I am AGREEING in principle that her help was not only wanted, but APMLIFYING my reaction so it sounds not only needed and vital to our survival. Oh, she stopped doing it too by the way.

[–]CaliEd2561 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good job.

[–]stoicstephen1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Those were great, textbook AA and Am.

Do you remember the first time you used AA in your marriage?

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

22 years into this and shit tests are like pitches in baseball. I've used all sorts of stuff along the way and the key having one really good swing that hits a walk off homer and the game is over. You gotta recognize all the different pitches, learn when to swing, learn when to let it go, and most importantly having the ability to get a lot of base hits consistently. There are a ton of shit tests and lots of ways to deal with them. Get used to keeping frame and not getting rattled because you are always at bat, she is always throwing pitches, and you gotta get pretty good before they start to walk you on purpose my friend.

So, you and I have done AA tons of times, but it isn't until I became extremely consistent that I saw results.

[–]Perfectinmyeyes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holy shit m *&sfah I just had surgery and your making me laugh almost making me bust my stitches.

My wife rail's on me to when I drive. Deering doesn't work, she never feels she's wrong and I just get exhausted because it never ends. Stfu does a bit, but the jokes... Seems much more pleasant for me.

[–]Vegasman200020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am stealing all of these

[–]marv86kw1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit. I've STFUd too much and its biting my ass. Broke frame yesterday, trying to course correct.

Can you explain one thing though, its STFU > exit, is coming back and showing strong frame essential?

I ask because I'm wondering, if its late and I exit etc, I'm back home and she's sleeping. Safe effect next day?

[–]LaimbeerAdvocate12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

Don't do stuff for other people that you don't want to do while expecting them to repay you. STFU. Done.

[–]cpotpie15 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

This ^

I don't understand how they are contradictory.

Covert contracts are doing things for people and who EXPECT them to pay you back. You did x so you expect y in return without some kind of formal agreement.

STFU is simple.... STFU

[–]JCX_Pulse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Not contradictory.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

STFU = Don't be unattraactive

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Its when you make a deal In your head that they dont know about.

Like "I'm going to start this MRP journey and my wife is going to want to fuck me".

Then when that dosent happen in 4 days you get butthurt, act butthurt, and punish your wife with your presence, because she isnt holding up her end of the contract.

You lifted, shes not fucking.


Rians YouTube channel link

Here, faggot, make some cranberry sauce and let the man himself pour wisdom Into your ear pussy

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hate cranberry sauce.

Good video though.

[–]CrazyLegs782 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not sure why you view them as contradictory. Unless you are thinking of making your covert contracts overt by talking about them!

At first, STFU is intended to be damage control until you have mastered several of the basics. Don't know how to avoid,identify, or handle a shit test? You better STFU! Comfort test? You better STFU! Want to avoid blowing up a 10yr marriage that could potentially be awesome because you "learnt not to take no shit from nobody on the interwebs?" You better STFU!

Once you piss excellence, talking doesn't matter that much. You have shown others what you want/expect out of daily life. If your girl wants to spend any time with her now high value man, she will help make sure your wants/expectations are met. Beyond the daily is all your problem. Also, at least I've noticed, when you speak less, what you say gets heard.

[–]88Tyler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Covert contracts is shit like “if I give her a fancy handbag she’ll give me a blowjob”, that she didn’t know about and didn’t agree to. Then when you don’t get a blowjob, you’re bitter and angry.

In a more general sense, the whole “she’ll love me and give me great sex if I provide for her and love her” is a covert contract.

It doesn’t work. And if you try to talk about it and she agrees to it, that’s covered under you can’t negotiate attraction. Doesn’t work either.

STFU coveres a few things. First, stop gushing out your feelings, fears, plans, yadda yadda. Second, it’s an easy way to pass shit tests instead of DEERing.

[–]CaliEd2562 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

STFU applies to you and your wife.

This is more like a tribe, where you can share your fuckups and it doesn’t matter (beyond everyone calling you a faggot of course).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Overt contract is when you are direct -> "I am going to supply you XXX and you will pay me YYY"

Covert contract is "Hopefully he will pay me YYY if i surprise him/her with XXX"

STFU is not gushing your emotional thoughts onto someone

You do not understand one of the two if you think they are contradicting. They aren't even related

[–]SelectAirline0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The difference is in expectations.

"If I stay cool and display a bunch of DHVs, my wife will fuck me more" - covert contract

"Engaging her silly argument is pointless, so I'm not going to take the bait" - STFU

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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