Why is it hard for some women to be feminine ? Shouldn't it come naturally ?

kittybeans96 · 2019-09-09T10:43:44+00:00

I find it easy to be feminine. The hard part was undoing years of trying to be masculine.

jewelsuwu · 2019-09-09T10:03:21+00:00

Cos its trained out of us all throughout our childhood and being female is put across as a weakness or disability in much of western culture.

Heavenlywind · 2019-09-09T10:44:13+00:00

The answer is basically conditioning; if you were naturally inclined towards a certain behavior, i.e reaching for a bowl of fruit but had your hand slapped away at every turn you would develop an aversion to this natural affinity.

thatsoutherngirl27 · 2019-09-10T14:53:49+00:00

The women I've seen who "have trouble being feminine" are usually women who have been brainwashed by the feminazi left into thinking that femininity is something to be ashamed of. They spend their efforts trying to be masculine, and it's understandably hard for them, like /u/kittybeans96 said, to undo that training and be themselves.

Kara__El · 2019-09-09T12:27:47+00:00

I think our personal models impact this the most. My mother was a nurse and wore scrubs every day. She wasn't allowed nail polish or much jewelry. Unsurprisingly, the lack of necessity for feminine attire at work bled into her personal life and she was just generally frumpy.

It was a learning experience and an effort in unselfconsciousness to start wearing dresses and makeup. Even then, I had to concede that some things, like heels and complicated hairstyles, just weren't for me.

my_chopin_liszt · 2019-09-09T14:25:36+00:00

I think the way a girl is raised really factors into her “femininity.” My mom was a homemaker and my dad was the breadwinner. There was a point in my teenage life where I looked down at my mom because I was taught in school that women need careers and college degree to be independent. Which... my mom was none of that. She cooked, wore makeup, had days where she dress up. She did girly things while my dad did manly things.

Of course, when I got married and had a baby, it was just overwhelming to “have it all” because I was not having it all. I was exhausted and cutting corners literally every part of my life. Naturally, it was easier to just accept the feminine role and honestly, I’m truly happier.

So I would say, I just later found that being feminine is easier... the path of least resistance for me. Something I would reject 10 years ago is something I embrace now.

ImTheDoubleGreatest · 2019-09-09T17:44:20+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/ImGoingToHellForThis/comments/d1hn8t/comment/ezpwv4q

I responded from a psychology perspective if any of you are interested.

GazeAtFlames · 2019-09-09T10:10:47+00:00

Decreased (mental) health and functioning due to the modern unhealthy lifestyle

Look into buteyko

peacocktoast · 2019-09-09T12:29:38+00:00

I think a lot of what we perceive as "feminine" are actually contrived notions imposed by cultural norms. For example, female body hair. Western culture alone has been subject to numerous trends (natural, trimming, Brazilian waxes, shaving) suggesting that a woman's body hair should look a certain way or, more recently, be nonexistent. None of these trends are inherently feminine, though as none of them suggest fertility. They simply subscribe to an arbitrary preference. If anything, body hair should suggest a sexually mature woman, whereas it's absence indicates prepubescence. I digress.

I think it may be difficult for many women to fit themselves into the mold of a "western woman," she who is supposed to be busty but fit, fierce but sweet, independent but gentle, sexy but classy, and furthermore, a conglomeration of modern virtues that contradict themselves. It may be easier for these women, then, to begin to separate what is a trend and what is objectively feminine. When you start drawing these lines, and begin sifting popular culture out of evolutionary design, "femininity" seems a lot more attainable.

offamamind · 2019-09-09T21:41:57+00:00

The standards are restrictive compared to men's and a lot of women's personalities just don't match up to it. Close your legs, smile, don't show anger, don't show too much skin, laughing loudly or talking a lot is not lady like. Men can be shirtless without being shamed, and sitting with your legs open is comfortable for anyone. It's so confining. Also because of the mindset that's taught by society from birth that masculinity is superior and femininity is weak. It's also more socially acceptable for a woman to wear a man's clothing but not for a man to wear woman's clothes so women can get away a lot with being masculine.

Greenveins · 2019-09-09T13:31:20+00:00

I feel like some girls think that being femine means weakness. I was raised by my dad and I had to learn to be feminine as I got older and it was easy for me to learn behaviors, although it was sometimes a struggle. I was afraid that acting in a certain role meant that I was a lesser and that's far from the case.

mintyfreshbtw · 2019-09-09T13:16:49+00:00

I love being feminine, I feel so liberated knowing that it’s okay to not have ‘career ambition’ and looking forward to supporting my future family.

silvernikki · 2019-09-09T12:58:38+00:00

I think part of the program is social programming.

When I was little, I took dance classes, loved pink, dressed up every time I could, and spent all my time doing my dolls' hair so they looked pretty. By the time I graduated college, I had no feminine hobbies, wore jeans and black almost exclusively, and had an afro that was half an inch long. People made fun of me for wanting to be feminine -- called me silly and shallow, etc etc -- so I stopped. It's only recently that I've come to terms with the fact that the anti-relationship, low maintenance person I've been pretending to be for the past decade of my life isn't really me.

It's hard for me to be feminine now, but that's only because I spent so much time being ashamed of my femininity.

rigbed · 2019-09-09T14:04:34+00:00

Same reason so few guys are actually masculine, it’s trained out

idkwhattoputhere000 · 2019-09-09T21:15:09+00:00

Because people are multifaceted. At least that’s how it is for me; some days I feel very feminine, some days I feel tomboyish.

Yes, it should come naturally if that’s how your personality is.

rbx11111098 · 2019-09-09T12:12:58+00:00

Because it's not realistic in today's world and a lot of men simply don't inspire it. A lot of people are cruel too as is evidenced by mass shootings, murder, rape, sexual trafficking, bullying, domestic violence, etc.

I think you may be hoping for some sort of idyllic notion in your mind of being feminine because some masculine hero rescued you from your distress in life but that isn't grounded in reality. Only in romance novels did you read that nonsense.

ThimbleK96 · 2019-09-09T11:51:59+00:00

Doesn’t feminine change literally from culture to culture, it’s an abstract idea so if you don’t believe it’s a solid factual thing that’ll improve your life there really is no value to it. I’m a curious lurker here btw. I’m trying to figure out the obsession so note this is meant as non hostile.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2019-09-09T17:22:59+00:00

Western society has tried to remove difference in sex from behavior. Women raised in the past 30-40 years don’t have the same societal support that women raised 50+ years ago did when it comes to being feminine.

It’s a lifetime of social teachings and reprogramming that women of recent history have to try to undo.

LateralThinker13 · 2019-09-09T15:42:43+00:00

MISLEADING TITLE. Should have included the core subject for clarity, and led with what the post ACTUALLY ASKS: "Women are attracted to Feminism because 'fighting the patriarchy on social media' is much easier to do than losing weight and being feminine."

Now, I consider the question you've raised to be problematic because you haven't proved the premise, AND the conclusion you're arguing ALSO isn't supported. What do I mean?

"If being feminine is hard for women" isn't proven. Being feminine AND losing weight is hard. Or just losing weight is hard. But being feminine? That just takes throwing off all of our culture's current Feminist brainwashing from K-12, college, and in the media. Easy, right?

But it's the second half of the question that's truly INSULTING. Think about it: If being feminine is hard, is it really feminine?

Would we ask the reverse? If being masculine is hard for men, is what we understand as masculine really masculine? Yes. In fact, it's partially BECAUSE it's hard that it's masculine (and desirable). Low effort products (incels) aren't worth anything because they're easy. All you have to do is to eat and to not work on yourself.

The question is insulting to women because it suggests that anything hard isn't feminine. WHAT? This is true only if you have a low opinion of women. Being ANYTHING worthwhile is hard work. This includes being feminine. That's why a feminine woman is so desirable; because it's NOT easy. She's higher status because she put in the work socially, emotionally, and physically.

The comment is insulting and inane.

Title	Why is it hard for some women to be feminine ? Shouldn't it come naturally ?
Author	bchlladyfrog
Upvotes	38
Comments	45
Date	September 9, 2019 9:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/d1omv0/why_is_it_hard_for_some_women_to_be_feminine/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-is-it-hard-for-some-women-to-be-feminine.252427 https://theredarchive.com/post/252427

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