Are women capable of enjoying being lazy like men are?

MyDogLovesCorn · 2019-09-18T00:47:01+00:00

I love how you post this as if some combination of watching reality TV, playing Candy Crush, shitposting on social media and drinking wine isn't a past time for a significant amount of women.

Texastentialism · 2019-09-18T01:03:51+00:00

I'm definitely one of the lazier people I know. I love doing NOTHING and I hate when other obligations get in the way of my doing-nothing time.

I do think that women tend to be more preoccupied by messes and things that need to be done than men are. I also think that in the family unit, women tend to take on the role that encompasses more work that can't really be put off. It's fine if the yard doesn't get mowed this week or the oil in the car doesn't get changed right away; those things need to get done, but most of the time it's not a pressing matter. But kids always have to be taken and picked up from school. Babies and toddlers need to be bathed, changed and put to bed. People always have to be fed. People always need clothes to wear. Pets always need to be fed and taken out, etc. And generally those types of daily need-to-do things are part of the wife/mom role more often than not (yes I know every man on PPD personally breastfed his children himself. I'm speaking in generalities). As a result married women with kids have less "doing nothing" time, and they often look for ways to make things easier for their future self which can mean doing a little bit of work every day instead of saving it all for the weekend.

I do also think that women create more unnecessary work for themselves with their standards of cleanliness and presentability. I personally care a lot less about that stuff than I used to, but at a certain point I can't relax and enjoy my do-nothing time if there's too much clutter distracting me. I'm also very motivated by financial security, so while I'm not an ambitious career person by any means, I've never been without a job and wouldn't dream of it. I've often worked multiple jobs. A lot of men seem to have a more "eh, I'll figure it out" attitude toward finances.

But honestly of the people I know who have to always be doing something and can't stand to be idle, most of them are men. My husband is that way and I can't relate to it at all. I have 0 qualms about spending an entire day being unproductive, but he can't stand it. Even when he plays video games he's very goal and achievement-oriented, it's not a passive hobby for him.

NINJABOIBOININJA · 2019-09-17T23:17:51+00:00

That explains why I can be at ease and women always find something to nag and make me stress about.

[deleted] · 2019-09-17T23:39:16+00:00

Well, I can not speak for other women. But I can assure you, from MY life experience, women are capable of being lazy. I mean, I'm a writer and I'm constantly working on projects, so maybe that's where all my "need to keep busy" energy goes. But while I'm writing, I sit like a lump on the couch or bed for days and take a lot of breaks to browse reddit or wattpad. I'm pretty lazy. I think women can be lazy if they want to be. Are most women lazy? I have no idea. I just know that I'm not facing any kind of stigma or backlash for being lazy. Actually I get a lot of people impressed by how many books I've written and I'm all like, "That's all I do! I never sweep my floor or go outside!" :P

I don't care if my house is a mess. As long as it isn't filthy and about to attract bugs, I can just chill.

I think when feminists complain about women doing more housework, it's just another example of them actively searching for stuff to be mad about. Like everybody all turnt up over pockets. If women want to do less housework, well, do less housework. If you want your man to help you more: tell him to help you more.

I think men do less well than women in school because women benefit from direct instruction and don't have as much trouble sitting still. Males need to use their hands more and benefit from a more project-based cooperative style of learning, that with limited budgets and large class sizes, aren't possible in most schools.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-09-18T01:57:39+00:00

I spent all weekend binge watching Mindhunter and doing little else so yes, women can enjoy being lazy.

[deleted] · 2019-09-18T16:17:29+00:00

Women have a higher desire for perfection because for them it is easy, as they use the limited resources of others to do it.

Men have a lower desire for perfection because for them it is hard, as they need to use their own limited resources to do it.

It is like saying

Are the rich able to enjoy being lazy like poor people are?

It happens because the poor have limited resources, dumbass.

slytherlune · 2019-09-18T01:05:51+00:00

Aaaaah, oh, if you could've seen me at my deepest in my depression. I pissed away a couple of years there, not really helping myself, burning out fast on the volunteer work I was doing (I couldn't hold down an actual job at that point). I wallowed in my lazy. Even now, I still would rather have a nice weekend in than out.

On the topic of cleanliness: I prefer it to be more or less consistent, so I don't think I could cope with Mr. One Deep Clean. But I'd be vetting for that, tbh, and not expecting someone with different standards to live up to mine! Or, if we're honest, down to mine, either!

As for outperforming anyone, that was always a deep-seated fear of failure and perfectionism combined with undiagnosed OCD. I have had to learn to tame it to work for me. I always wished so hard that I could slack. Is this gendered? Maybe; God knows women get socialized into people-pleasing, and I took that up to eleven. But part of it was legit neurodiversity.

reluctantly_red · 2019-09-18T01:36:46+00:00

why women seem to be outperforming men in school and at the start of their careers

Women do indeed seem to be better at grinding out the routine stuff. However, a certain type of idleness is required for reflection to be effective and for creativity to flourish. Men -- at least the most productive and creative ones -- seem better able to engage in this type of idleness.

One of my favorite authors, Bertrand Russell, wrote about this way back in 1932. https://harpers.org/archive/1932/10/in-praise-of-idleness/

YasuotheChosenOne · 2019-09-18T02:12:24+00:00

Id say women are the more likely lazy ones and merely put on a facade of hard work to prove a point. Obviously the more attractive you are, the less you actually have to do. Now, which gender is the more attractive?

ZoroasterFlame · 2019-09-18T02:38:29+00:00

There is absolutely an epidemic of womanchildren, women are just childish in different ways, their childishness is more sociable.

SkookumTree · 2019-09-18T02:39:23+00:00

No shit, there are lazy women.

------__------------ · 2019-09-18T10:39:22+00:00

Any woman who does want to laze about the house all day just has to have a baby and then she's seen as productive

poppy_blu · 2019-09-17T23:20:42+00:00

The male mind seems to work in an active and an idle phase, whereas women are always preoccupied with something.

I think it's more that men compartimentalize, women multitask. Hubby has a hard day but as soon as he wants in the door, he locks it away in his mind to deal with later and is ready for some. Wifey keeps that shit on her mind all night and her mind keeps wandering back to what do about her work problem (not to mention the kids, the dog, the laundry) in bed.

I had to teach myself that it was OK to be lazy. I was the type that always had to be doing something or I felt bad about myself. You need down time. You can run on all 8 cylinders all the time.

I agree with most of everything else you said.

loyaboya · 2019-09-17T23:31:55+00:00

I have a theory on this that I think for the most part explains things pretty well. Growing up, most girls aren’t really given enough slack to truly be lazy and are supposed to “set a good example” (an actual quote from one of my grade school teachers) while boys are allowed to enjoy doing nothing. Basically that girls are expected to act more mature a lot sooner than boys. An example that I love using is how my 7th grade teacher would frequently have all the girls in the class clean up the classroom while the boys play board games. It’s little stuff like that that can add up and cause discomfort when being lazy later in life. I just went on vacation with my family (5 women and 1 man, my dad). All the women got antsy and uncomfortable after doing nothing but relaxing for 2 days while my dad felt fine and thought we were weird for actively looking for activities instead of enjoying the resort we paid for.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-09-17T23:48:14+00:00

When my girlfriend and I were living together, I would be fine with letting messes gather for a bit, and then I'd do a huge deep clean all in one day once in reached a certain level. Whereas my girlfriend would stress over keeping things in a constant state of tidiness.

Anecdotally, it's the opposite for me. My SO makes piles of things, and I am always clearing messes.

strangelovesglasses · 2019-09-18T00:56:40+00:00

men turn lazy when there’s women around because their default expectation is if a woman is in the house, she cleans. single men are cleaner than married men, because married men have maids to do it for them.

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Barneysparky · 2019-09-18T02:04:43+00:00

The only truth is what you're saying is I find that men are more often able to just shut their minds off. But with women starting to do yoga, they are getting better.

Myself Reddit is what I do when I'm lazy, I only really "meditate" at meetings, or a set time (Quaker).

Ofourkind · 2019-09-18T03:29:33+00:00

I definitely know more men who I would consider lazy than women, but I know some seriously lazy women.

katymarx · 2019-09-18T03:37:17+00:00

I'm lazy as fuck, your argument is invalid /thread

wtknight · 2019-09-18T04:33:13+00:00

I can be a pretty lazy person but not so lazy that I can stand being unemployed. My wife isn't very motivated to make a lot of money, but she definitely makes sure that the house is tidy. I've always thought that these were gendered instincts - men making sure that a family is provided for, and women making sure that a place is uncluttered and sanitary enough to ensure that children are safe and healthy.

decoy88 · 2019-09-18T07:14:01+00:00

I think it’s more to do with what men and women have been socialised to care about.

I’ve seen women continue on with a broken TV entertainment system for years without worry
women put effort to keep their house immaculate but their car is a complete tip.

Where the opposite is that men tend to care very much about these things.

There’s also my theory that biologically, the consequences for poor hygiene happen much quicker, and are much bigger for women than men, so that filters out into the rest of life.

OfSpock · 2019-09-18T14:16:50+00:00

My boyfriend told me that in general, men exist at extremes and women exist in the middle. This is proven in some ways; like men are more likely to have IQs at the higher or lower end of the spectrum and women generally congregate in the middle. The same goes for work, there’s more men who are very successful or not at all successful than women and there’s more women who are moderately successful. So I think this trend works for a lot of gendered things.

Note - I don’t think this means any one gender is better than another, I just think it’s an interesting observable trend.

So when it comes to laziness, I think this is another way it’s exhibited. As far as I can tell, a lot of men are work hard play hard types, workaholics, or very lazy.

This is exhibited in my relationship - my boyfriend works super hard when he’s working and relaxes extremely hard when he’s not; and by that I mean spending the whole weekend in bed type of relaxing.

I myself work like, medium hard most of the time, but prefer to be moderately busy almost all of the time. My ideal free time/relaxing time is still productive - it involves reading educational things, learning new things (new software, new skills, new language), being social, cooking or cleaning, or doing physical activity. I feel gross when I spend more than a few hours doing something like watching YouTube videos or tv.

SO I wouldn’t say that men are lazier than women or vice versa, just that men are at the high and low ends of the spectrum and women in the middle.

Nexessary disclaimer that this is a trend and therefore there will be outliers and I know that this doesn’t describe every person.

analt223 · 2019-09-18T15:38:16+00:00

I know plenty of women who mature mentally faster in high school than their male counter parts.

At the 10 year reunions though plenty of guys are more mature and level headed. I know lots of girls who barely change mentally from 18 to 30ish. Hell i know girls who regress, they were hardworking intelligent girls in high school, a little bit of "no parents college time" and they lose all sense of discipline.

sadomasochrist · 2019-09-18T22:08:45+00:00

Being a "child free" "sex positive" slut is the female version of a man child.

PanderjitSingh_k · 2019-09-19T09:44:55+00:00

This laziness happened to arrive at the same time as a massive wave of sex discrimination against men in education...

Men doing worse is a new thing and was engineered by feminists like Catherine Mckinnon whose fake research led to education being redesigned to favor females.

BeIatrix · 2019-09-18T01:16:16+00:00

Well, I think that on avarege women experience more guilt from being lazzy. Also, women( most of them do want children, I am not here to debate this) can't afford to be that lazzy because they have to figure the child bearing part of their lives before their oportunities start to run out (biologically around the age of 35, tho my mum had me at 41, and now with IVF you can go even further but the risks of childbirth defects also increases) .

[deleted] · 2019-09-18T09:27:32+00:00

On average, women score higher in conscientiousness than men.

I also think as women experience more negative emotion, like boredom and anxiety, we often "create" things to do to manage our internal state.

I personally score extremely high in conscientiousness; I'm constantly working on some project and need lots of stimulation. I've read studies it correlates to getting more pleasure from sex too, which is kinda cool.

Title	Are women capable of enjoying being lazy like men are?
Author	DampRat
Upvotes	0
Comments	50
Date	September 17, 2019 11:12 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/d5owdx/are_women_capable_of_enjoying_being_lazy_like_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-women-capable-of-enjoying-being-lazy-like-men.253832 https://theredarchive.com/post/253832

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