Was I being a dick here?

KikiYuyu · 2018-10-27T02:19:47+00:00

I think you don't understand how your words look like from the outside. Autism is a big funny on the internet, if you haven't noticed. Your post reads like you were trolling.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-10-27T02:06:15+00:00

yes you were being a dick by posting there as a man at all. they dont want any male participation

SkookumTree · 2018-10-27T02:44:05+00:00

You needed to tread more carefully, write more eloquently, and ground your position in radical feminist beliefs. If you talked about the oppression/discrimination that autistic people faced as a subset of the wider kyriarchy - and women as subject to this also - you could do all right. However, your writing skills are below average - not atrocious, but as a man on a sub like this you have to be a good deal more eloquent than average. In addition, your replies showed...a lack of shared radfem beliefs. For this reason, they were pissed off at you.

Civil_Seaworthiness · 2018-10-27T04:10:24+00:00

It looks like they were being snappy, but not necessarily mean. People here have been just as harsh to me when they think I'm being stupid. I don't think you were being stupid or mean-spirited, but I do think that you posted something in a place where it wasn't welcome.

The issue they seem to take is the equivalence drawn between 'being a woman' and 'having a [neurological/emotional/cognitive] difference in the way you view the world'. There are two fundamental issues this raises with radfems in this specific part of the internet: first, they'll immediately bristle at the idea that being a woman makes one's brain biologically different in a way that could inherently need therapy/medication/specific social support to be fully functional. Second, many women have the same neurological variations you're describing, including, likely, some women on that sub. Do they have it twice as 'like that' somehow? Where do you factor in the experiences of those women?

It's a simple question (do you think x experience is like y experience?) but it's a little like me going into a cancer-patient-family support group and being like 'hey guys! do you think it's pretty much the same thing to have cancer and to have pancreatic disease like diabetes?' and being surprised when they respond with disdain to my equivalence - oops, a few of their dads have pancreatic cancer, my bad!

It's hard, but the internet usually requires very thick skin. I wish that was not the case and that people could be counted on to be kind, but it's better to be prepared but hopeful than deluded and surprised. These people weren't mean to you, but they were a little rude and you were a little insensitive. As you move on, it might be useful to think a little more about your audience and what you hope to accomplish. You probably would have had a better experience asking a similar question on PPD than you would have on a radfem sub.

sublimemongrel · 2018-10-27T02:11:40+00:00

No, although I did not read the whole thing. You seemed fine.

Look, when you deal with gender-based subs there tends to be a lot of "well x has it worse"-ism going on. In other words, if they can interpret it in some way as if you're making some grand comparison of who is the bigger victim, they will (at least some).

Happens all the time here.

You do seem to have some upvoted commentary in your post though so it seems like plenty were fine with you.

damaskrose · 2018-10-27T02:32:32+00:00

Probably, I mean people treat women as if they're mentally ill so...

blackedoutfast · 2018-10-27T04:41:24+00:00

jesus christ stop apologizing for everything. it just makes it seem like you're weak and submissive. and even radfem lesbians are disgusted by weak men.

UsedAlgae · 2018-10-27T10:22:02+00:00

I don't think you were being a dick per se, you just kinda missed the point of feminism and especially the sort of radical feminism they're into at GC.

Feminism is specifically about the gender-related issues that women face, it's not a catch-all for issues related to discrimination (racism, ableism, ageism, etc) and it's not the same thing as "humanist" or "egalitarian". Most people who identify as feminist probably agree that those other issues are problems, especially with respect to "intersectionality", but they just aren't the focus of a feminist space.

The reason why they're so annoyed is that men have a bit of a history of showing up to feminist discussions and trying to dominate the conversation with "well what about MY issues" or "As a man, my highly qualified opinion on what it's like to be a woman is...". I imagine most of the people there would be allies on the ableism front, and I think did get some good/civil replies there, just that a radical feminist sub isn't the place for that discussion.

apube · 2018-10-27T02:05:52+00:00

Why the fuck did you come here of all places to write a novel asking for validation on another long ass post you made in a different sub? Why should we care about some random's petty reddit squabble?

NeedingAdvice86 · 2018-10-27T03:13:43+00:00

"I'd like to learn to debate with feminists more effectively, because recently I've become strongly supportive of the movement,"

Why?

You aren't wanted, liked nor will you receive nothing of value in return for your "support"...

Leave them be to wallow in their stew of hatred and bitterness....find other ways to interact with women many of whom actually like guys.

CatchPhraze · 2018-10-27T03:41:25+00:00

Going into the den of radfems is much like the more toxic parts of TRP, think rotk and avfm before they became more mainstream. Sure woman could post but where often treated like utter trash. Those spaces either grow and become more mild mannered like avfm. Or shrink and become more toxic, braincel style.

Either way they aren't interested in being unbias. Your efforts are better spent with reasonable people of whom you seem mostly to be. Although one look at that sub and any reasonable person is going to know its kicking a hornets nest. So your genuine shock isn't genuine. We can tell.

legaladvicequest · 2018-10-27T20:09:20+00:00

Your post is good material for this sub, since anything woman-related works. Don't feel bad- even if you're a troll, you're making a great point.

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hammerhaunts · 2018-10-27T01:53:39+00:00

Not a dick, just an idiot

DXBrigade · 2018-10-27T10:37:18+00:00

No you did nothing wrong.

Qazreddit99 · 2018-10-27T11:18:57+00:00

Honestly in most subs that talk about gender issues men/men's rights are looked down upon. Other than this and TRP I don't think there are any other large gender-related subs that like men to have an opinion other than "I am a man and thus priveliged and evil. I hate myself."

This is a blanket statement. There are exceptions.

wobbleelbbow · 2018-10-28T07:37:50+00:00

You can't logic into woman's pussy.

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SpaceWhiskey · 2018-10-27T10:53:31+00:00

They’re not just radfems they’re TERFs (trans exclusionary radical feminists, basically conservative feminists), and they’re the meanest, most legit anti-male of all flavors of feminists. In the future I wouldn’t bother so much trying to olive branch with that crowd, personally. I say this as a feminist.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2018-10-28T06:16:06+00:00

Trying to argue with femcels lmao

Whodunnit88 · 2018-10-27T13:23:29+00:00

There are some people in life who are just so angry at the world that no attempt at understanding, even if it is a little misguided, will reach them.

You are a man. Therefore you are the enemy.

Title	Was I being a dick here?
Author	uranian90
Upvotes	3
Comments	54
Date	October 27, 2018 1:48 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9rqncf/was_i_being_a_dick_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/was-i-being-a-dick-here.259286 https://theredarchive.com/post/259286

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