There is clearly something wrong with modern masculinity and male-female relationships in the last ~50 years. I want to offer an alternative hypothesis that does not blame women/feminism, use pseudo science or invoke personal anecdotes. This is an attempt to explain why we are in this current state. I’m avoiding blaming recent online ‘feminism’ because in reality it has no real power, the only reason why we have seen it recently is because it riles people up through cheap click bait tactics, distracting us from the real problems.

Evolutionary psychology cannot explain it:

A lot has been said recently in this sub about evolutionary psychology (EP) and often times people link to papers 'proving' how our behavior evolved as a consequence of selective pressure. Not that it gives me any special insight, but I am a biochemist and cell biologist by training and while researching some of these papers, I found that there is a vast amount of convincing literature explaining why EP is considered pseudo science.

In the medical field it would be akin to 'alternative medicine', it seems interesting, but it's proof for what it claims either cannot be founded or is far too vague. PM me if you want to chat about this, as a rant on EP isn't the point I'm really trying to make. As well, just because EP is bogus, does not mean that women don’t act a certain way. Nothing about the red pill claims can be dismissed if EP isn’t real and really if you could prove women and men evolved to be a certain way, it’s overly deterministic and leaves out vast complications.

Are some men and some women inherently awful based on their genes? I’m sure to some extent, but just as genes are dictated by how they are expressed (through epigenetics, nutritional state, etc), female and male behavior is dictated by the society we are raised in. Again, I’m a hard scientist without an agenda, I’m just generating a hypothesis for why we are in this current state based on the observations from comments in this sub.

If it’s not EP what is it?:

It's not that women are inherently biologically maladapted, if this were true men would have to be maladapted as well because they would fall under the same selective pressure. It’s that our society has changed in ways that have debased masculinity. Note here that it is not increasing femininity, this is explained by women who still must act ‘like men’ in positions of power in our society.

Let's start with the obvious premise:

The normative struggle of male-female relationships is this, men value sex highly and women value high SMV males and security highly.

What went wrong:

Contraception, abortion and the sexual liberation of the 60's were movements that highly devalued sex.

It wasn’t due to social conservatism that women weren’t sleeping around as much before the 60s, a woman would not be as promiscuous because she could risk having a child. Having a child with a random hookup would not only be a massive physical and financial struggle, but it brings down her SMV when trying to find another potential mate. With the advent of contraceptives efficient abortions and free sex, the real issue is clear for all to see, the sexual revolution normalized promiscuity. Based on our premise above that men value sex highly in relationships (read: she’s giving her all to me), an important part of what men value was diluted. We are feeling the effects now, because promiscuity is normalized we are labeled as ’slut-shamers’ and should ‘man up’ when we feel that obvious uncomfortably that a woman has had multiple partners or hook ups. Society now says that something we inherently value is meaningless and it’s laughs at us that we would care about it now.

Therefore, it’s not because women are biologically adapted this way, it’s that our society uses sex to sell products and it’s easy to have sex without consequences. Capitalism has been the driving force of our society and one of the most potent selling points is sex. It certainly sells, but it also happens to be what we men value. The situation is similar to why type 2 diabetes is so prevalent now. It’s not that our metabolism has fundamentally changed, it’s that our society is set up in a way where we are inundated with cheap, immediately pleasurable food that is terrible for us, thus inducing obesity and type two diabetes. We as human beings have never once encountered the massive changes that took place in the last ~50 years and we are still trying to compensate. It’s not an excuse because personally I find it unacceptable for either sex to allow our shitty society to dictate their values.

The Indulgent Slacker Generation:

The other problem is that it’s socially acceptable to get by as a man with a so-so cubical job, watch movies/video games and exhibit limited personal growth. Previously, it wasn’t possible to experience life as a man and not feel the burden of pain, responsibility and hard work. Because we have fast food, middling jobs and seductive entertainment options it’s possible to opt out of this struggle. However, going through the difficulty of life is exactly the thing that makes you us men. Currently we have a generation of grown up boys and we are being inundated with their personas: the dopey stoners, the ‘dumb dad’, the mouth breathing jock. Strong male role models are few and far between. It’s not a female conspiracy either, it’s easily explainable. Our society goes for your base desires because it’s profitable, you generate more if you sit around and watch adds on the TV, buy that new video game and order out. What kind of income can you generate for someone else if you read a book, go for a hike or work out?

‘I’m ok you’re ok we’re all ok’ society:

Masculinity is aggressive. We’re terse, blunt and honest. The constant deluge of feel good psychology, self improvement books and ‘you aren’t to blame’ excuse making have laid waste to personal introspection and responsibility. I often hear on this sub about how women do this, but men do it just as much and I am sickened by it. In fact, I have made this point before, but enabling men are another large factor in this mess. As much as I hear that women have no personal responsibility etc, it’s weak men who enable this behavior. If most women like to be led it follows that it’s the enabling men that allow this shallow ‘feel good’ garbage.

Entitlement Reigns Supreme for both Sexes:

Female hypergamy is based on entitlement ultimately rooted in a culture where women are treated as princesses. You deserve your fairy tale ending ladies! You don’t have to value sex because you can have it all and still get the guy at the end! Men clearly have this as well. I sit on my ass, have no drive and don’t want to work hard, why don’t I get the girl I deserve? The ultimate hard reality of the red pill--and it’s something that doesn’t get brought up as much anymore-- is that she is not your perfect princess whether you're an all star athlete or a couch potato. You must deal with this just as women must deal with hitting the ‘wall’. You can absolutely strive to find a good woman, but due to our present culture they are few and far between. If you think you’re entitled to the perfect woman you’re going to be hurt, which is exactly why you cannot find your personal value in a woman. The issue is, however, that if she feels entitled to the perfect man after being promiscuous she can find a weak provider man. Again, this is due to the creation of the weak male born out of our society. If the creation of this male stops, women are forced to adjust away from promiscuity because there is no hope for finding the weak willed provider.

This hurts Femininity too:

Femininity is devalued as well in our society. Women who like dressing up, being a home maker, painting their nails, etc are seen as ditzy and shallow. This is why often times women who like these things will just adjust to fit this narrative, which is why it’s so difficult to find feminine women who aren’t also vapid. Again, this isn’t a leftist/feminist conspiracy either, if a woman is a homemaker she isn’t out making an income that can be taxed and she isn’t making money that can be injected back into the economy.

What is the outcome? (or TL;DR)

Society has begun to cripple masculinity by: 1. Diluting sex (something men hold highly) through enabling promiscuity caused by effective contraception, abortion and a massive cultural shift in the 60s. 2. Allowing laziness, which gives boys the ability to opt out of being a man. 3. ‘Blind acceptance’ values inhibit us from genuinely talking about this because even bringing it up is instantly oppressive. 4. Our society isn’t making us more feminine, it’s just debasing the creation of strong men and what we find important.

How do you break free?

It’s all on the side bar, but some important advice around these pernicious cultural changes is to live life with a passionate drive and keep yourself from allowing women to be where you find self worth.

Supplementary notes: This was meant to explain where to focus vitriol and to shift away from evolutionary psychology, not to debunk TRP theories. In fact, it makes them stronger and more important. Often times society/upbringing is used as an excuse for bad behavior. ‘I’m not a bad person, I was raised that way’ is essentially the same as ‘it’s in your genes’ because the fact remains, you’re still a bad person if you let this society dictate who you are. It also explains the recent shift in female behavior much better than 'women are naturally promiscuous.'

edited for format and flair