https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/1/24/16925444/aziz-ansari-me-too-feminism-consent

So this new article based off the Aziz incident is claiming that, a man trying to have his first hookup experience feels he violated a woman that voluntarily agreed to:

  1. Go up to a bedroom with him, alone.
  2. Voluntarily kissed him and allowed him to take off her clothes.
  3. Allowed him to perform oral sex on her.

And then this happened:

After some time, which I now realize was far too long, I stopped and asked if she was okay. She hesitated before speaking, and sat up.

“I don’t think we should have sex. We’re friends, and I think having sex will make things complicated.”

I responded almost immediately. “I don’t think it will make things complicated. I’m totally fine with figuring that out later.” I kind of laughed, I think, because I thought I was being charming. My feelings at the time were: We’re in the middle of having sex. It’s already complicated. Stopping now doesn’t make it less complicated. I was also horny, and Julie was hot, so I disregarded her feelings; I lurched toward her and starting kissing her neck.

“Are you sure you want to stop?” I whispered in her ear as I moved my hand toward her crotch.

“I just don’t think we should, because we’re friends.”

The man, or the author does stop, and thinks he violated her.

This is the problem with consent. Many people are actually thinking any minor hesitation on the woman's behalf is a lack of consent. It's not. Anyone who is not experienced well with sex hesitates about it. Women also expect men to take a dominant approach in the bedroom. It's clear this man was timid or not really being bold or confident about it.

What are your thoughts on this? It seems that the media is just having a dishonest portrayal of what female sexuality is. Women don't voluntarily kiss and accept oral sex with men they don't want to have sex with. Saying "it will make things complicated" isn't a lack of consent.

EDIT:

A number of people are saying that the author believe it was consensual. Adding another important piece of article below here.

In the years following the incident with Julie, I began to realize, often while reading articles online about enthusiastic consent, that what had happened between us wasn’t fully consensual. But it wasn’t until I read the Aziz Ansari story and the media conversation surrounding it that I realized the extent of what I had done.