Q4M: What age did you lose your virginity? How do you feel this effected your confidence/success with women?

[deleted] · 2017-07-05T08:48:37+00:00

Haven't yet at 25
I don't feel successful with women but I'm also not that unsatisfied
I obviously can't answer this but my gut tells me it's supposed to be the other way around. I gain confidence and then I'll sleep with someone

[deleted] · 2017-07-05T09:01:11+00:00

Haven't lost it. Zero confidence with women. 20 years old.

zerobones · 2017-07-05T06:19:00+00:00

23. Only thanks to travelling and the world's oldest profession...
Not really, but I kinda gave up on that aspect of life, so I'm not really thinking about it.
No, it only made things worse, much worse. In hindsight, I wish I had had my first time earlier and organically like a normal person or hadn't had it at all, at least then I would have still had a chance to get my wizard wand in a couple of years.

Entropy-7 · 2017-07-05T07:01:13+00:00

18
My N-count is in the 30's which at my age averages out to one new girl per year since losing my virginity. My personal satisfaction doesn't come from the number but rather the quality that I have locked down on occasion.
You have it backwards: the confidence comes first and then the pussy follows. The only minor truth is that it gets easier after the first time.

Follow up: As a teenager, I was an incel and invisible to girls until I reinvented myself. In my last year of high school I banged a few and I really was not impressed; I went MGTOW during college. I had female friends - there were about a dozen of us as a mixed crowd who would go out clubbing or whatever as much as 4 times a week - but I was not looking for a girlfriend and didn't really care about getting laid because I had too many other things on my plate.

[deleted] · 2017-07-05T07:26:02+00:00

17
Yep perfectly satisfied
Of course, it made everything much easier after that first experience

IIHotelYorba · 2017-07-05T08:44:00+00:00

14
Absolutely. If I never fuck again I can't really complain.
Yes and no. In hindsight I clearly learned something essential: how to actually do it, rather than fantasize about how to do it. To me this is the most important knowledge to have. At the time though I felt pretty confused as it felt like a fluke, like something I didn't think I could replicate. It felt like "getting lucky," as the term goes, and I wanted to be a LOT more consistent.

Hairbrainer · 2017-07-05T12:13:05+00:00

I lost my virginity at 24. At this stage in my life, I have no regrets regarding this and am totally satisfied with the amount of women I've been with.

After my first time, I guess I gained confidence, but it's hard to say/perceive.

wtknight · 2017-07-05T13:15:22+00:00

I was 20 when I lost my virginity. I thought it was a huge deal not to have had sex when I was a virgin, but after having my first relationship I didn't think sex was such a big deal anymore, and I had a lot more confidence with women after that. N-count is meaningless to me and always has been, because I'd rather have a loving relationship with a high quality partner than have emotionally meaningless sex with a lot of different women.

ThistlewickVII · 2017-07-05T14:32:43+00:00

I was 19, which isn't that bad looking back... but my first kiss was 18 and I was awful at talking to girls

A part of me thought I'd die a virgin, so yeah I'm happy with my N-count. Am I happy with my success? I'm getting there, but I won't be until I feel secure in a loving relationship

Confidence and Success are cyclical. The first girl who ever "made eyes" at me and the first girl who kissed me are just as important as the first girl I slept with, and it took another 6 months to have a second sexual encounter. Then things started snowballing.

Getting into the cycle is the difficult part - it was luck, that's the only thing that separates me from still being a shy, lonely, virgin. But once you get one step forward, it gets easier and easier to keep going

OurThrownAwayDreams · 2017-07-06T21:41:19+00:00

27
no, i've only been intimate with 3 women, i wasnt really attracted to them, they just so happen to agree to sleep with me. to be honest, i am a colossal failure in this department. while im very pleased with where i am in my career. i feel like my private life has been crippled.
i have some slight idea of what having real sex with a woman is like afterward. but it didn't make me exceedingly confident or anything. just that now when people talk about having sex, i will think back to the first time, or the 2nd time for me and i can relate. but beyond that, having real, intimiate sex is still kind of a mystery to me because i just havent had that many partners.

years of rejection and failure in the sexy department had caused me to doubt that things will ever look up for me or women will find me sexy. at least i feel incredibly strong about that sentiment at the age of 27 (prior to me starting to work on myself). my first time happened when a girl i used to pine over in college asked to meet up. we met, and at the end of the day i asked her if she wanted to fuck. she gave it a long thought and said "why not, it could be fun i guess". i was shaking and trembling becuase i was nervous and scared and had my mind full of doubt.

i knew it was pity sex, she pitied me for being a virgin at the age of 27, she pitied me for not having the life experience that most people would have had by that age. and knowing it made the sex even worse. the whole time i didn't know i was doing it correctly, the whole time i didnt know if i was satisfying her, and i kept asking her if she's feeling okay. the more i pressure myself to try to please her, the more it became difficult. and in the end, i did not climax and i felt even more undesirable.

the 2 girls after that were more of the same. the constant thought of "does she really want to sleep with me? or is she doing this because she had ulterior motives?", "how could she be enjoying this when im not that attractive?" made sex a very nerve wrecking experience.

i have not had any sex ever since i started working out and working on myself. there's this fear in the back of my head that im still not attractive enough and i wont be able to satisfy her. and because of all this pressure, i wont climax just like my first time.

im not telling you this to ask for pity. im sick and tired of people pitying me. im telling you this because it is possible for dudes to have reservation about sex because he himself doesnt feel attractive enough. not all guys are like what the stereotype describes that they just want to stick their dicks into somewhere wet and warm. i definitely have come to discover that i actually want some genuine connection with the person, or at least i need to know she is genuinely attracted to me. so now here i am, working out 6 days a week, i feel a little bit better about myself but i know it's going to be a long journey to undo all the pain and mental obstacles created by prior rejections and failures to make me start accepting myself.

but if i ever meet a woman who's interested in me, she will never hear about any of this. because i know it's not attractive and nobody wants to know how the sausage is made.

tldr: if you dont love yourself, it doesnt matter if love is handed to you on a platter, you won't be able to taste it in its fullest glory

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yurtyybomb · 2017-07-05T05:39:36+00:00

25
Not really satisfied, no. But girls have always liked me. I'm just not active and don't feel an urge to go and get girls. I definitely struggle with oneitis.
Yes. Easier for me to approach and be more nonchalant. I felt more like a man a little while after losing my virginity, butnot immediately after.

meh613 · 2017-07-05T07:10:52+00:00

25
No, I wish I could date better quality women.
A little

zerobones · 2017-07-05T07:34:51+00:00

13-14
yeah im happy, and im old enough now that i can look bad at shit sex and learn and have had enough good times to counter act the bad ones.
Fuck no, Put me off of women for a long time. The way i went about it, the way i was treated after, the way it effected my freindships. Had a really unhealthy relationship with women after that.

BPremium · 2017-07-05T11:56:22+00:00

1.14 I think, it was the summer of my freshman or sophmore year of HS. Good times. It was at a summer camp and that place was like an entirely different world. In retrospect, I was a chad there, and life during those few weeks was incredible.

Then summer came to a close, school started, and things went back to its shitty normalcy.

Ehhh, number isn't as important as quality. Im ok with my number

3.Didn't really help my confidence. Nothing but getting someone attractive to me will do that.

nyjl · 2017-07-05T12:03:38+00:00

1) 24

2) definitely no on both

3) my confidence with women improved drastically and then gradually lowered to be even less than when i was a virgin

[deleted] · 2017-07-05T12:31:53+00:00

then a long dry spell until like 20.

Nope

Not after the fist time, maybe second or third girl I was with.

louplop · 2017-07-05T12:50:43+00:00

17
Yes but no and no
Nothing had change

No correlation between the two since I lost my virginity at an average age. It would have probably been different if I have had stay virgin.

PMmeareasontolive · 2017-07-05T13:09:38+00:00

17
My satisfaction level is right in the middle. I've had some good sex and relationships (the two are intertwined to some degree for me) but it's been way too few and far between.
I gained no confidence whatsoever but it did take away the pressure of losing my virginity.

[deleted] · 2017-07-05T13:34:28+00:00

1.What age did you have your first PiV sexual experience at?

17

2.In your own perspective, do you feel satisfied with the amount of women you have slept with or do you feel successful with women?

No, and no. Like u/eastuss, I wish I'd had more sex when I needed it the most.

3.Did you gain any confidence with women after having your first time?

a little more. But really, confidence comes first, then you get women. If you're unconfident, women sense that, and avoid you.

ProbablyBelievesIt · 2017-07-05T15:10:23+00:00

What age did you have your first PiV sexual experience at?

Late in life. I'd sworn I'd wait until marriage before anything more than a kiss, but that stance was ruining every relationship I was in. Nobody was that patient. I've probably set the subreddit's record for the number of serious relationships...

So I finally lost it just to lose it.

In your own perspective, do you feel satisfied with the amount of women you have slept with

I would have preferred just one.

do you feel successful with women?

In terms of starting something? Sure. It's not hard, if you're open to new experiences and enjoy playing djinn. Overall? I'm not sure why my love forgives me, but I hope this time is the last time. She knows what she's getting into.

Did you gain any confidence with women after having your first time?

Until the rape. And until I trusted the wrong people to help me put the pieces back together again. It was a harsh lesson: If someone's attracted to your vulnerability, they may just be a predator. Learn how to protect yourself.

WhiskersNT · 2017-07-05T16:14:52+00:00

15

Yes.

Yea definitely. Up until that point I'd basically been running around doing anything and everything to figure out what worked (something I really didn't get a good handle on for another 10 years) but hey I still felt better knowing I'd been able to do it even just the once

InformalCriticism · 2017-07-05T17:52:07+00:00

22
I could have had a lot more fun in high school and college if I wasn't religious the first 22 years of my life.
Tough to say. I don't think so; all of my doubts/insecurities remained in tact even though I pretty much got laid with just about everyone I've ever pursued, though I never quite looked at it that way.

I've never equated confidence with my N-count; I don't associate how many women I've had with how I feel about myself.

TheGreasyPole · 2017-07-05T18:05:42+00:00

1. Day before my 15th Birthday
Satisfied. I woulda liked to get to double figures (N=9) but other than that silly niggle, perfectly happy on 9.
Well, I knew it was possible to be successful and, in retrospect, it took the pressure off and stopped me making a big deal out of the whole virginity thing.

HitchensTwoPointOh · 2017-07-05T19:56:20+00:00

1 - 18

2 - I'll never be satisfied due to the same hybrid OCD/narcissism type drivers that fuel my bodybuilding, reading, career etc. Successful yes in terms of raw stats vs the vast majority of males, but still far from satisfied.

3 - Definitely boosted my ego but I can't honestly say it made me more confident around women, but rather more confident/secure around the other guys! The confidence with women came after "faking it til' I made it" so to speak.

[deleted] · 2017-07-05T21:59:46+00:00

I'm still a virgin, but I'm also the best thing to happen to PPD.

toursover23 · 2017-07-06T01:30:36+00:00

I'm 23 and I haven't and probably never will

It's ogre.

octopusplatipus · 2017-07-06T21:34:20+00:00

17
No
No, I got the sex I wanted after getting confidant and a good personality to go along with it.

ByronicAsian · 2017-07-07T15:24:06+00:00

Haven't yet at 25
I'm very unsuccessful with women. I can legit count the number of 1 on 1 encounters with women outside of a professional context on one hand. On the other hand, apart from the whole feeling like a loser, I don't feel too much of a drive to hit on women or have sex...sorta...(or that could be sour grapes talking).
N/A

letmepostnowplz · 2017-07-05T06:23:11+00:00

21
Yes, yes
Yes

My gf taught me how to be alpha and dominant, now the relationship is great, we fuck twice a day and atleast 1 succ. Plus she keeps buying me gifts and cooking home meals, is extremely obediant, its perfect, not sure what more i could get from her.

Plus were both nazis and plan on having 7+ kids which is great.

[deleted] · 2017-07-05T09:09:28+00:00

1: 18 since my hs gf wanted to wait till marriage 🙄

2:. I guess. Getting laid has always been extremely easy. Usually just let them approach. I probably could've made better judgements during my"drinking years"

3: not really, I was always kinda confident but I didn't become flat out arrogant until I turned 25

I don't think virginity lose had as much to do with confidence as just female attention. A young man could have a GF and not be getting laid if she a little miss prissy pants

[deleted] · 2017-07-05T11:53:45+00:00

I was 18. I would prefer to have lost it earlier in an LTR. Maybe I wouldn't have turned into a raging man slut during college.
Yes, I've slept with a lot of women and I'm satisfied with the number. If anything I'd be fine if it was lower.
No, it didn't really affect my confidence with women. I slept with a very average girl who had wanted to bang me for months, just to get what I knew would be an awkward first experience out of the way. The confidence was already there.

Title	Q4M: What age did you lose your virginity? How do you feel this effected your confidence/success with women?
Author	soccerstar77
Upvotes	4
Comments	57
Date	July 5, 2017 5:27 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6lc347/q4m_what_age_did_you_lose_your_virginity_how_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-what-age-did-you-lose-your-virginity-how-do.267183 https://theredarchive.com/post/267183

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