Is it possible for a woman with a high partner count to be an effective LTR partner?

MagicGainbow · 2016-01-30T22:49:57+00:00

but I'm worried that I might be fighting base biology

Don't let TRP pseudo-science brainwash you.

[deleted] · 2016-01-30T22:48:52+00:00

Keep in mind, you will never know full proof the partner count of any specific woman. Even though you might think a girl is conservative, well-behaved, doesn't do parties/drinking/hookups, you can't judge her positively based on that. The most innocent looking girls can have partner counts in the stratosphere.

A much better idea is to judge how they view you. If a woman is absolutely obsessed with you, can't stop thinking of your dick, and will do nice things of you, she probably views you as an alpha/player type. However, if she is pinning for the interest of other men all the time, and doesn't prioritize you, it's likely your her beta bucks.

LifterofThings · 2016-01-31T06:06:20+00:00

Yes, they can.

If you're spending a lot of time contemplating how many penises she's seen, and these thoughts repulse you, it's probably not possible for a high N-count woman to be a good LTR partner for you.

As someone who isn't pining for "the glory days", I think you may be projecting your own (male) perception of casual sex with multiple partners on these women.

summit_girl · 2016-01-30T23:04:40+00:00

I think you are being insecure.

I would not want to be with a guy that thinks he must outdo every other guy I've been with in the past in all possible aspects, lets I compare him and then cheat on him.

This is a demoralizing view that women have no will of their own, and are always hoping on the next d#ck if they had taste for it before.

I think people that engage successfully on LTR are together because there is not only attraction but also compatibility of views, goals, emotional empathy, desire to build a life together, emotional chemistry as much as sexual chemistry etc.

I can't see how it can be healthy for a guy, any guy, to engage in this sort of internal competition (with his own insecurities) to be always the best possible men to weed out competition for his wife. What kind of emotional life would that produce in the long-term? Not a healthy one I guess.

Even if the guy is an alpha as y'all say, what happens to his state of mind the moment the guy becomes sick and requires surgery and rest for months, for instance? What if a high-moneyed guy goes through a rough patch financially - does he drink or drug himself away because now he's paranoid about his wife going to seek cock and dollars elsewhere?

i_have_a_semicolon · 2016-01-30T22:44:18+00:00

My answer is yes, as this is the case for me and several people I know personally.

To be honest I do not remember pasts experiences or care about thinking about. My boyfriend is the best ive ever had and the only one for the rest of so long as I can help it!

I had a dream recently that Marty Brodeur gave me his number because he was interested in me. Even when the best hockey goalie of all time bid my interest, who did I think of ? Him. Is a cute boy talking to me ? I think of him. I think of past guys all I can think is how they aren't even an iota as good as him and also that I can't honestly remember anything about any of them and barely give significance to those times. They just don matter to me, and I have no desires for others

And I know women who are similar

ozymandias271 · 2016-01-30T22:57:14+00:00

I'm a slut and I'm in a happy LTR. Of course, I'm poly, and I would never be able to handle monogamy. But nevertheless I am an existence proof.

[deleted] · 2016-01-30T22:46:25+00:00

I feel my throat lock up when I think of her with multiple men.

Your days must be very interesting lol. Do you keep a diary?

heredpill · 2016-01-31T01:49:52+00:00

It's funny, I feel pretty similar about men with a really high partner count. It's a huge turn off. It shows me that he has delinked sex from love, that he likely objectifies women, and that he has probably hurt a lot of women.

Everyone gets to choose how to approach their own sex life, and I don't want to slut shame- I support people doing what they want to do. But I generally stay away from high partner count men for relationships. I'm cool with someone who has a number close to my number.

Anyways I guess my point is that it goes both ways- some women are also turned off by men with high partner counts.

Doesn't it make sense to seek a partner who has similar views to sex as you do? How can you judge your partner for having a high count if yours is just as high or higher?

Hans_Brickface · 2016-01-30T22:13:22+00:00

Is it possible for a woman with a high partner count to be an effective LTR partner?

I'm sure many women would ask the same thing about men, no?

scrantonic1ty · 2016-01-30T22:45:33+00:00

It probably is possible, but why would you decide to commit to a long term relationship with a slut when there are plenty of non-sluts around that can be compatible with you?

A man with abundance mentality sees no reason to compromise on what he feels is important in a LTR candidate.

super-commenting · 2016-01-31T01:22:59+00:00

It might be possible but why would you want to? As you say in your post sluts are revolting. Why would you want to invest your time and energy into a girl who revolts you?

kick6 · 2016-02-01T21:38:24+00:00

Sure, its possible, but it's not something I'm willing to bet half of all my shit on, if you catch my drift.

LordLeesa · 2016-01-31T00:28:50+00:00

Is there any chance of forming a serious relationship with sluts

With that attitude? No, I'm afraid there isn't. :) For both your own sake and theirs, do stay far away.

44MagnumRevolver · 2016-01-30T22:36:11+00:00

It's possible in the sense that anything is possible. But if you're a high value man, there is no reason you should take s chance that the slut you are fucking/dating could potentially be wife material.

UnusedAndUnusable · 2016-01-30T23:12:58+00:00

You're letting your insecurity cloud your judgment.

female chastity being perceived as a virtue is not "base biology".

People are all different from one another. A woman who sleeps around might decide she wants an LTR at some point. She also might change her mind later on. People are different, meeting new people and getting to know them is never easy, people rarely stay the same as they are when you met them and you keep interacting with them overtime, and there is no formula to know if a woman or a man will still be with you in 10 years.

That's just how life is. Anyone who tells you anything else is bullshitting you thoroughly. The best you can do is make the most of what you have now and take your chances.

OfSpock · 2016-01-30T23:52:26+00:00

Women who enjoy casual sex? Sure, although they'll probably be happier with their male equivalent than some insecure guy.

Women who seek casual sex in an attempt to boost their self esteem? Probably won't be happy in any pre-therapy relationship.

Darth_Sin · 2016-01-30T22:26:06+00:00

You cannot shake the whore tree, or in this case the cock carousel, and expect a loyal and faithful wife to fall out of it.

I believe there was a study done that measured the partner count of women versus their tendency to divorce and it is shown that the more the woman sleeps around, the less committed she will be in a relationship.

Furthermore, a woman who has slept around is a lot like a well-used second hand car. Now if you buy a well used second hand car, its cheap because it has been used a lot. The same is not true for a woman who sleeps a lot though. If women who sleeps around ask for / demands less then yeah, I can see why one would pursue them but this never happens.

TheSonofLiberty · 2016-01-31T00:03:54+00:00

The other threads on science the blues loved since it agreed with their beliefs/disagreed with reads. How about this science:

From a man's reproductive perspective, a more important cue than virginity to paternity certainty is a reliable signal of future fidelity. If men cannot require that their mates be virgins, they can require of them sexual loyalty. A study of short- and long-term mating found that U.S. men view lack of sexual experience as desirable in a spouse (Buss & Schmitt, 1993). Furthermore, men see promiscuity as especially undesirable in a marriage partner, rating it -2.07 on a scale of -3 to +3. The actual amount of prior sexual activity in a potential mate, rather than virginity per se, would have provided an excellent guide forancestral men to solve the problem of paternity uncertainty. Contemporary studies show that the best predictor of extramarital sex is premarital sexual permissiveness-people who have many sexual partners before marriage are more likely to be unfaithful than those who have few sexual partners before marriage (Thompson, 1983; Weiss & Slosnerick, 1981).

Modem men place a premium on fidelity. When U.S. men evaluated sixty-seven possible characteristics for their desirability in a committed mateship, faithfulness and sexual loyalty emerged as the most highly valued traits (Buss & Schmitt, 1993). Nearly all men gave these traits the highest rating possible, an average of +2.85 on a scale of-3 to +3. Cross-cultural tests remain to be conducted to see whether this is a universal male desire.

Men regard unfaithfulness as the least desirable characteristic in a wife, rating it a -2.93, reflecting the high value that men place on fidelity. Unfaithfulness proves to be more upsetting to men than any other pain a spouse could inflict on her mate-a finding for which there is excellent cross-cultural evidence (Betzig, 1989; Buss, 1989b; Daly & Wilson, 1988). Women also become extremely upset over an unfaithful mate, but several other factors, such as sexual aggressiveness, exceed infidelity in the grief they cause women.

Evolutionary psychology: the new science of the mind / David M. Buss.

From the chapter "Men's Long-term Mating Strategies."

lostapwbm · 2016-01-31T06:20:39+00:00

Possible? Yes.

Probable? No.

[deleted] · 2016-01-31T17:59:28+00:00

Why are so many porn stars and prostitutes fucked in the head? What does it have to do with sex?

I don't know, but it sure seems like reducing sex to an act without meaning fucks up women's heads and makes them jaded.

Next thing you know BP will be saying men should have no problem wifing up porn stars and prostitutes. If 25 partners is OK, why not 250? What's the difference?

fork4k · 2016-02-01T15:21:44+00:00

Honestly I can buy this, it doesn't just go for women though, the same principle should apply to men. If someone's had a series of trite relationships it might speak to their inability to hold down a long-term meaningful relationship in general, it's not a blindly sexist notion that being "slutty" is bad (assuming it applies to both genders).

c_in_macn · 2016-02-02T20:17:23+00:00

It doesn't really take much effort for women to sleep with a lot of men. Self indulgence and hedonism are not attractive traits for long term partners.

[deleted] · 2016-01-31T07:14:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

YerriPulka · 2016-01-30T22:51:54+00:00

Women with high partner count are fun to fuck around with. But I can never have emotional connection with a woman who is used goods. A man has to be a total cuckold if he's willing to be in a romantic/emotional relationship with such women.

I don't even want to consider a woman romantically anymore that had more than 3 partners

I'm not okay with even 1 partner, leave alone 3. I'm not eating an Apple that's bitten by someone else no matter how tasty it is.

Title	Is it possible for a woman with a high partner count to be an effective LTR partner?
Author	44MagnumRevolver
Upvotes	0
Comments	101
Date	January 30, 2016 10:07 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/43g6dx/is_it_possible_for_a_woman_with_a_high_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-possible-for-a-woman-with-a-high-partner.276577 https://theredarchive.com/post/276577

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