The reason why it's a bad idea to marry a woman who's approaching the wall (or past it) is because they want to latch onto you out of fear, not because they're attracted to you.

cxj · 2015-12-16T19:03:55+00:00

Don't most men get married because they fear being alone tho?

[deleted] · 2015-12-16T21:41:05+00:00

I think it's actually because you know women that make their own money, have their own bank accounts and control their own lives are less likely to want a "daddy" figure acting like Batman.

GridReXX · 2015-12-16T19:25:27+00:00

The average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old.

The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.

This says to me that a considerable amount of people got married in their youth and were fed up by 30.

People who wait to marry until they are over the age of 25 are 24 percent less likely to get divorced.

This says to me that the older you are, the more you select for exactly what you want.

This graph shows how the steeper the age difference the more likely it is it'll end in divorce.

So much for happily ever after with the 37 year old man and 22 year old recent grad?

Now none of these stats contest your OP which states that she's "marrying out of fear."

But I'll say fear keeps people together.

It's an incentive. Incentive is what fuels commitment.

All of the marriages TRP romanticizes from the past lasted because of these reasons:

Social pressure/shaming.
Financial incentive.
Religion.
Kids and the lack of a welfare state to help support single parents.

Not love.

Lust settles over time.

And love is simply shared pleasant memories, which we can all build up.

I fear TRP hasn't truly swallowed the pill because everything is based on incentive.

questioningwoman · 2015-12-16T20:15:17+00:00

You do know...we aren't dying at 40 right? I think this is a vestigial left over when we used to only live to 40.

wtknight · 2015-12-16T19:12:31+00:00

The fear of alphas not being attracted to you anymore and being alone and your ovaries drying up is probably a very strong emotion for women in their late 20's/early 30's.

I wouldn't be surprised if this is the #1 reason for most failed marriages. Most divorces are initiated by women.

Why would a woman marry a man who is not an alpha because she can't find anymore alphas, and then divorce him because he is not an alpha, knowing that she will still be alone and without an alpha? There is an internal contraction in your argument that suggests that your point is not valid. Rather, most women at this age want steady companionship and a family, not excitement, and this is not something that AF is going to provide.

LUClEN · 2015-12-16T20:07:20+00:00

That scenario assumes the man is capable of attracting a "better" partner

frogstud · 2015-12-17T02:52:47+00:00

TL;DR-The OP's post is ambiguous and lacks context for the second paragraph. It would be great to know what we should be discussing. Good starting point of a hypothesis of why woman divorce first (young women 20's to 30's) maybe?

I will give the benefit of the doubt of honesty trying to spark a conversation/discussion. (Seeing that you have the Discussion flair) However, I think you can do a little better to spark debate.

First you start with "The fear of alphas not being attracted to you anymore and being alone and your ovaries drying up is probably a very strong emotion for women in their late 20's/early 30's.". When I first started reading, I thought when you used "you" you were talking to me, but you weren't. This is a little confusing, so it would be help for people to read if you explicitly said women of late 20's to early 30's.

Next you say, "I mean, i wouldn't trust a woman who's younger for marriage either, but at the very least, I'd figure she'd be more into me and willingly (at least initially) to give up herself for me while she has all the sexual power in her youth.". Fair enough you give your opinion so people know your stance-great. I think that you could make yourself more clear, so people understand where you are coming from. For starters this sentence can be broken down, because you have to entirely independent thoughts that would be better off in their own sentences. For the first clause, maybe just state you don't have faith in marrying younger women then say why, because that would be useful for me. The next clause could just be shortened in my opinion.

After you say, "That signals that she might be more future oriented and responsible than your typical cock carousel rider at least.". What signals that she (whoever she is) future oriented? Is it because she is willing to sleep with you? Is it because her fertility will diminish, so she is will to sleep with you? This ambiguity is not helpful. I would like to know why she is future oriented more often than the typical cock carousel rider.

Next is "I wouldn't be surprised if this is the #1 reason for most failed marriages.". Okay, what is the #1 reason? Please, disambiguate.

After "Most divorces are initiated by women. If she's used to eating caviar every day and now has to eat a McDonalds value menu item now, of course she's going to be flaky after a while of marriage." This is big change of topic. You were talking about how women are afraid of not being attractive then your opinion on why you wouldn't marry a younger women then detraction of why you wouldn't mind if you had to marry a younger woman then you claim that for some reason this younger wife would be more future oriented. However, now you have an example of women eating caviar (metaphor for higher standard of living) to eating McDonalds (metaphor for higher standard of living). This is confusing if you don't at least give us some context.

"Initially, of course, they rationalize it as 'maturing' when they go for the beta guy that's loyal and caring, but not physically attractive or exciting." Like before, this seems so random without context.

"Can't turn a ho into a housewife, we should have been listening to rappers back in the 90's about relationships, they are far wiser than we give them credit for." Okay, because men provide a lower standard of living over time or because younger women a more promiscuous because of their limited fertility?

Overall, I think I understand what you are saying, but I would be great to have a starting off point to get a discussion going. Like a question for example. I would like to have a discussion but your post is all over the place.

ReformedTomboy · 2015-12-17T05:00:41+00:00

There are also plenty of women looking to lock down a man at 28 and younger because they fear not being able to get a good one past 30. I was reading RPW last week and there was a 21 yo with this same concern. It was troubling because she didn't seem so concerned about whether they were right for each other (which is most important when looking to marry and stay married) just it had been 2 years and was time. So why is it better to be a younger woman with that mentality (get anything while you can) but not be older 29+ with the same mentality. Its unattractive either way.

I understand why a man would NOT want to be in a marriage driven by fear, however, age is not the only barometer (and not the most important one) to gauge whether a woman is desperate for marriage.

[deleted] · 2015-12-17T01:46:51+00:00

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[deleted] · Wed Dec 16 22:54:27 2015 UTC

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[deleted] · 2015-12-16T23:27:11+00:00

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questioningwoman · 2015-12-17T02:12:21+00:00

What if someone is in their 60s but suddenly wanna settle down after the playboy lifestyle?

tallwheel · 2015-12-17T00:54:05+00:00

women in the western hemisphere are never truly attracted to you mate.

They're attracted to things about you.

The reason why it's a bad idea to marry a woman who's approaching the wall (or past it) is because they want to latch onto you out of fear, not because they're attracted to you.

Comments

The average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old.

The highest risk of divorce are those people who marry in their teens and thirties/fourties, why on earth would you average that out