Blindsided breakup. Should have seen it coming.

Angry_Landwhale · 2015-01-17T20:45:23+00:00

You'll be fine man. Usually they won't mention there's another guy even though most often there is. Asking her if he was more intelligent and better looking only fed her ego, try to avoid that in the future. It's hard to navigate these situations because they've usually already moved on, whereas you weren't even thinking outside the relationship. Try to keep that in mind.

As far as what to do. Just detach yourself as best you can, it will be hard. If she starts texting dumb shit like "I miss us", you need to ignore it and realize she does not. She wants you to validate her and know that you are still pining for her. Don't act hostile towards her and don't act friendly. No emotion at all. If you try to make her jealous by saying you've been doing this or doing that, she'll see through it. Don't do that. You're on your own here you don't have anything between you anymore. It's gone, be sad if you want but that's for you to know, don't let her see any weakness anymore. Good luck.

Newdist2 · 2015-01-17T21:30:53+00:00

Is there advice I should take if she tries to get in contact me again or crawls back after realizing she made a mistake?

If you take her back, you are the beta bux.

Heyimtitel · 2015-01-17T20:42:19+00:00

What I learned from my experience is that if she does it once there are some good chances she will do it again. If she will come back to you, she will still be having those "problems" with you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, take this break up as a gift. She offered you freedom. Use it.

SkorchZang · 2015-01-18T01:29:51+00:00

RP shock therapy:

When girls say "I need space", you need to understand that means "I'm kinda fucking another guy now" and act accordingly.

When they unilaterally break things off with you, you need to understand that all your "I-love-yous" and tender moments have already been OVERWRITTEN in her mind by new experiences with new guys. It's not that it wasn't real and she was faking it. It's just that she's now experiencing the same shit with a different dude who is not you. You don't exist, for now, until such time as for SOME REASON you appear attractive to her again. Easiest way to accomplish that is jealousy.

No need to kid yourself man, when she completely walks on you like that, it is always your fault. You were a blue pill faggot, like most of us here, and you put her right off. This wasn't any specific thing, more likely it took place over months. Yeah, you never noticed - you were "blindsided", that's what every guy says. You can't read your woman properly because nobody taught you how.

What an RP aware man does when he is dumped:

Immediately cut all contact with her, delete from FB, email etc. Never ask why. Never harass her to "talk about it". You completely fucking disappear off the face of the earth, without a word said, and you stop following her or tracking any info about her completely.

Within a few days or weeks, PING! You get a message from her, "hey I was getting coffee and saw our waiter that we always laughed about there... how are you, I miss u.." Or some bullshit like that. "I looked up at the sky and a cloud reminded me of u...". Now, as a blue pill faggot, you just don't know what to make of it, what does she want? It's such a mystery!!! But wait how did that guy from the RP sub know this exact thing would happen and even about the cloud?

She is doing recon. If you disappeared off her radar (as recommended), she now wants to know that you're still out there, hurting and pining for her like a good boy. If you aren't, then HOW VERY DARE YOU. Guess what, if you want you can even respond and act cheery, like nothing ever happened, implicitly let her know that's exactly where you are. In Yeah You Left And I Don't Give A Fuck land. Ask her how she's doing, practice Asshole Game that you can learn here, invite her over and fuck her brains out. Then kick her sneaky ass out of your place like a whore, and watch the sunset/sunrise/Star Trek reruns with a huge smile on your face. Your first true plate, already spinning herself up for you... It's good to be the King.

JahRussian · 2015-01-17T22:26:11+00:00

Be very thankful for this breakup. Feel the pain. Don't mask it with junk food and drugs. The more pain you feel (through jealousy, anger, confusion, etc), the more fucking solid you'll become. Try to feel more pain whenever possible. Do not avoid the pain. Feel the pain. I went through the same exact thing 3 months ago. She left me for another dude, started fucking him immediately. Unbelievably painful, but I realized that pain is weakness leaving the body, and actually MADE A POINT to quit all drug use. I've been off weed and alcohol since, I don't even use it occasionally anymore. And something funny is happening: as I'm getting over her more and more, I'm seeing how I'm starting to fuck much hotter girls. OP, use this energy to grow yourself. You won't believe how many and how hot girls you're gonna be fucking on the regular if you choose the tough path.

Feel the pain man. It's so healthy for you.

danweL · 2015-01-17T22:12:16+00:00

You shouldn't be asking girls why they have feelings for someone else. Read The Book of Pook by Pook and The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. You are definitely in need of some enlightenment. The way you tell your story screams it.

One piece of advice for future involvements with plates or LTRs (should you choose one again), don't take the other guy seriously and try to forbid her from seeing him. It should be funny to you bc you're you, and he's just him. Tease her about her new boyfriend. Then if something does happen you ghost out of her life with a hard next. This means she is no longer in your life, you don't talk to her and you move on.

King2realz · 2015-01-17T23:57:57+00:00

Bro, don't even think about this girl. No offence, but chances are she's not even hot. You'll look back at this girl in 5-10 years time and literally laugh at how low your standards were back then. Be glad she's someone else's problem now. I know this hard to hear, but bare in mind I wish nothing but the best for you.

You're going to meet so-fucking-many gorgeous, talented, hard-working girls with great self-esteem and values down the road. Just stick with this game and good things will come. Nonetheless it's gonna be alot harder than it was before, you're gonna have to work this around and not settle for whatever is infront of you.

Also don't stay in contact with this girl in any way whatsoever. She missed out, her bad. Delete and block her number and never see her again. Not out of petty ego issues, but because you described her as getting depressed easily, low confidence etc. You DO NOT need these low-value people in your life. They're fucking leeches and you don't want to be their emotional tampon.

Best of luck,

FrameWalker · 2015-01-17T21:58:11+00:00

Good luck man. Most likely she went for the other guy because of alpha fucks asshole style game.

Very strong cocky/asshole teasing
Slices through her shit tests like butter
Heavy preselection - openly flaunts being with other girls
Most likely he's bigger than you

I didn't reply and just said bye.

Well done.

Is there advice I should take if she tries to get in contact me again or crawls back after realizing she made a mistake?

No contact. She fucked up big time. No closure will give her hamster a long spin.

0xdada · 2015-01-17T22:28:10+00:00

Every. Pre-RP. Breakup. Ever.

Dude, sorry for your loss. Men take these things harder. The stuff that gets posted here will help a lot. The hardest part is when we have to admit we didn't act on our instincts and lied to ourselves that things would be ok.

Good news is, you aren't alone.

Tomorrow:

Gym: sign up for training a few times a week. Burn it off.
Accountant: appointment to make plan for a financial strategy.
Doctor: appointment for full spectrum STD test. confident clean slate.
Rebound: treat yourself well, but don't be self destructive. Avoid being wasted.
No major life decisions for 3-6 mos.

Is there a post that describes the archetypical BP relationship collapse? It's got to have only like 3-4 basic patterns.

RevengeFantasy · 2015-01-17T22:01:15+00:00

Posts like these are why men need to step up their game in reading body language. So you will not be blindsided. It seems like even the most retarded women on this earth are light-years ahead of us in reading body language.

So many times I'll be browsing /askmen, and see guys actually brag about being socially retarded and not being able to read signals, and lament that more women need to start doing the "asking out".

GET REAL, chumps.

Hokuto199x · 2015-01-17T23:03:11+00:00

Don't take her back as a boyfriend. You can have sex with her again if you want, but you can't get attached. She's proven she's not good LTR material. Also when you try telling them to stop talking to someone that's insecure. If a man makes you feel threatened that lowers your SMV in her eyes while raising his. You're literally doing it to yourself at that point.

jeezydasnowman · 2015-01-18T04:41:34+00:00

Wow why are you quoting her breakup speech? Did you have a notebook and pen you were writing down what she said so you could analyze and change yourself so shell love you again? Jesus Christ...

When a girl breaks up with you you already know the reason - tingles hypergamy etc. Be amused that she is so fickle. "You'll regret it" - wrong. "Have fun" - click then no contact . Her head will explode wondering why you aren't upset, fazed, or saddened. Ofc you are but she will never know cuz u aren't answering her calls and have cut her out of your life. Do it op , move on, in six months maybe add her into the rotation as strictly fuckbuddies but DO NOT TRY TO GET BACK W HER!!

/rant

lordrand11 · 2015-01-18T00:20:46+00:00

My advice to you comrade, if she ever does get back in touch with you, don't acknowledge it. Not to her, not to your friends, and not even to yourself. She made this choice and you need to make yours, commit to bettering yourself.

I say this from my experience as a previous beta.

purecyse · 2015-01-18T00:37:23+00:00

You will be better for this. Relax and don't attempt to run from that lack of companionship, embrace it. As a young man, there is no better time to realize that alone does not mean lonely.

Of course do the usual: lift, read, run, improve your diet. I always recommend a physical activity where you are in competition with others like pickup basketball, boxing, martial arts, etc. Outside of really being able to see the results of working out, there are many mental benefits and several opportunities to increase your social circle.

Next, which seems to be contrary to popular opinion, when you're emotionally ready, accept her trying to reconnect with you. After time apart, the "new" you will be a whole different challenge. She'll come back thinking that despite your improvements you will value her exactly the same as before she left. That you're a known capacity...familiar...safe. You know the type of animal she is, however, so make her a plate. The time apart will be more than enough to reframe the situation: make yourself the prize.

With monogamy getting to the point where you can't even lie to yourself about how uncommon it truly is: dealing with a devil you know can be almost a godsend. As in, you know she's not worth that LTR commitment, don't dare make the mistake.

apackofwankers · 2015-01-18T08:37:20+00:00

Many years ago, I was seeing an Israeli woman who was from a very orthodox Hassidic family.

The woman was in love with me, and, because I wasn't Jewish, her mother taught her a technique for falling out of love.

The technique was this: "Every time you think of him, you should picture him being on the toilet"

Now, creating an association between shit and the object of your love might have been an effective technique for a prissy 50s housewife, but it didn't work for me when I tried it, and I got really creative with the scatological theme.

What worked for me is this:

Click on this link https://www.google.com/search?q=spider+macro&tbm=isch and pick a spider. This is your spider.

Stop using your loved one's name, and instead refer to them as "it", especially if talking to yourself.

Every time you think of your loved one, picture the spider and stare into its baleful, soulless eyes.

After you have starred into its eyes long enough, mentally bring a boot down on it, crushing it and terminating that thought.

Much like the foot in the Monty Python theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49c-_YOkmMU It helps if you make a fart sound as you crush it.

Then, get on with your life. After about a month of this practise, you will stop thinking of your loved one.

About getting on with your life: exercise is the best medication for these heartbreaks.

Doesn't have to be a spider, but spiders are something that humans (and other animals) have a primal aversion to.

You can get creative and try cockroaches, snakes or whatever works for you. Best that its something you have a primal aversion to.

If you arent a visual person, you can try creating other aversions - something that smells bad (like a dead fish or a whiff of tear gas), or something that is painful (like a small sharp stone taped to your arm), or something that sounds horrible (youtube Justina Shoe Beaver).

If she sends you a message, reply with "I have received your message" and nothing more.

2015-01-18T12:54:46+00:00

I was surprised she was open to tell you she was basically branch swinging. Most women will deny it until caught red handed. Even my cunty ex that branch swang after 6 years didn't have the heart to tell me I was being replaced.

I welcome you to the board and hope that you know what to do when she tries to crawl back (seems she will when shes done/bored).

foomfoomfoom · 2015-01-18T14:55:51+00:00

I went through a very similar experience about 4 months ago. It's what brought me to trp. Everyone (myself included) thought that she was being a traitorous fool, and said I should make sure that the experience didn't leave me "jaded."

I chose to blame myself. The reason why she fell for me in the first place was because I was extremely driven and building my business. But she revealed herself to be very demanding of attention and time. It made it hard for me to focus on business. And this is where I failed: I told myself that the only reason I wanted to be successful was so I could find love. So I stopped pushing the gas on my business and became more and more invested in the relationship. Big mistake. It was at that point that (unbeknownst to me) she started losing interest. Then I got blindsided by a breakup a few months later.

I don't blame her. It's her feminine nature. I started reading this forum and a few other books, created an okcupid profile, and have had sex with a lot of random women. There's a girl I'm seeing now who I like and am strongly considering getting into a relationship with, but I vow to never treat her like a NAWALT. I am going to use my attraction to her as motivation to stay focused on my mission and work faster than harder than I would if there weren't a beautiful woman holding me accountable. I know she doesn't understand love the way I do. And I don't hold that against her. We just have to learn the rules of the game. Sadly, we have to go through a lot of pain to get that knowledge.

Baudrillard says "femininity is a challenge to masculinity to exist." For him, masculinity is the force that creates and sustains order. Femininity tries to seduce the masculine into doing the kinds of things that would fuck up the order it aims to impose. The stupidest thing the masculine can do is allow itself to be seduced. I allowed myself to be seduced. Never again.

Olipyr · 2015-01-17T22:30:23+00:00

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bretmaster5 · 2015-01-18T14:20:30+00:00

Be sad, feel the pain. Feel your suffering.

But do no contact her. Do not do it, trust me.

If you want further advice contact me directly. I have something for you

99_Problem · 2015-01-18T03:52:56+00:00

You're still complicating this shit. It's actually simple. This other dude was banging the shit out of your girl. It's got nothing to do with intelligence, or what she thinks is attractive. He entertains her more than you, fucks her better than you, and that's it.

The best advice is build a bridge and get the fuck over it. Forget about her.

thegr8b8m8 · 2015-01-18T15:19:02+00:00

Anytime a woman tells you she needs space don't delude yourself your relationship is officially over at that point. This is a hard valuable lesson OP. We always want so badly to believe women but you just can't listen to what they say. You have a lot to work on as far as your still being very beta acting and this might be the best thing to ever happen to you so that you never delude yourself into believing the fairytale romance nonsense.

And if she contacts you ignore her don't fall for it OP. Thing is from your writing I don't think your strong enough to just make her a plate at this point. If you take her back she will have accomplished her goal of getting banged by an alpha and then returning to her beta that will provide for her and the alpha's offspring.

Ambarsariya · 2015-01-18T20:17:17+00:00

Your story is almost exactly as mine just that mine happened some time back. Don't worry, you will be fine. The coming days would be a bit hard especially Feb for you. But give it some time and work on yourself. Soon you would realize it happened for good. Coz then you would be keeping your interest at top.

I would suggest going dark to her, as you have mentioned about her red flags.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-02-23T17:25:00+00:00

She also said that they 'get' each other better

I always laugh at these illogical chickish comments. Let me run it through the hamster-lator....

"He makes me tingle like you did when we first met so it FFEEEEEEELLLLLZ like he gets me."

Gratz on your freedom. This time read up on plate theory and slay the fuck out of it. Go through those bitches like a bull moose at Pamplona.

dub121686 · 2015-01-18T19:27:40+00:00

"I’m on to the next one" - Jay Z

2015-01-20T02:13:21+00:00

lol.

Is there advice I should take if she tries to get in contact me again or crawls back after realizing she made a mistake?

OP, dude. She didn't make a mistake. Hypergamy is specifically not a mistake. If she didn't branch swing, she'd be the female version of a beta bucks... like you. Sorry, harsh truth, but the side bar is that way --->

Title	Blindsided breakup. Should have seen it coming.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	37
Comments	75
Date	January 17, 2015 8:16 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2srh14/blindsided_breakup_should_have_seen_it_coming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/blindsided-breakup-should-have-seen-it-coming.28072 https://theredarchive.com/post/28072

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