To BP women: What incentive are you offering a guy to get employed?

cxj · 2015-06-02T15:54:53+00:00

None. None at all.

I am focused on my own employment.

RobotPartsCorp · 2015-06-02T18:56:28+00:00

I don't think anyone should increase their income prospects to get a date or get married. I think they should increase their income prospects for them if that's what they find fulfilling and if that makes sense for their goals? Live within your means but if you want to live with more, increase your means.

Considering tha majority of American women are fat,

Aren't the majority of American men also fat? And if you want to date skinny women, you gotta put effort into your health as well. That goes for women too. I am not sure why it would only be one way? Attractive people date attractive people.

What incentive is she offering him to increase his income?

Why an incentive at all? Why does it matter? I guess I am having a hard time understanding where you are coming from. I have never dated a guy where increasing his income mattered to me unless that is what he wanted and he wanted my help and encouragement to do so. I have dated poor men, unemployed men, and rich men. The money that matters to me is my money. If I want more money, I work for it. I have worked a lot to increase MY income because that is what I have direct control over, it is also more stable for me to do so rather than rely on someone elses income. Since I make decent money now, the only amount of consideration I give to a mans money is based on whether he can keep up with me and if he contributes in other ways (to our household if we are in a long-term relationship or married).

Now, the man I am with now, when we first met, we had similar salaries. What was more important is that we had similar lifestyles. I wouldn't have gone for him if he was a bum...but he would not have tolerated me being a bum either! He has changed jobs and increased his salary by 300% while my salary has increased by about 10% since. So he makes a lot of money now... The thing is, he now encourages and helps me make more with a side business we have been building together. Our skills complement each other but when he brings a project to me, his cut is 20%. This brings my yearly income closer to half his, instead of a third of his. What is his incentive to do that? Bettering our partnership, bettering ourselves, building a life together. All that extra money is just extra. We are building towards a secure future while having fun on the way. We eat out (to nice restaurants where one course is bite-size and the experience is amazing) 2x week, sometimes I buy, sometimes he does... we just came back from our first tropical vacation using only this "extra" money from our side work... life is good for both of us! That is the incentive. There is no competing agenda or battle, we work together to reach our shared goals. There is a lot less hard feelings from one side not living up to their side of the bargain because our roles are not so different or derisive, it is easy to work together and pull our own weight and it is easy to encourage each other to do so, and it is easy to lift the other person up when one of us gets down because we have seen each other continue to be at our best.

And neither of us are fat. I am fit and he....has oddly good genes where he doesn't have to work out and yet he still has an amazing body. We both eat extremely healthy/local/organic/whole.

Examples

And before you state that I am an anomaly, I am not. Our friends who are all in very similar sociology-economic situations seem to have loving working relationships and marriages. Only difference is kids, we won't have kids. I can think of four of my closest friend-couples who are mothers and lucrative careers with husbands pursuing creative passions.... LadyA is in finance, her husband is a stay-at-home dad with large creative projects. LadyB is a director at a large art organization, her husband plans to continue in his music production career which will be easy for him to be a stay-at-home dad when their first baby is born! LadyC is a James Beard-winning chef, her husband is a stay at home dad who has creative projects on the side! LadyD is an art director at an agency and her husband does concert promotion for a bunch of venues and I guess manages a bunch of bands... Their incentives for making it work is that they are all doing things that are artistically fulfilling (except banking I guess!) as well as able to finance their passions and work towards a happy and secure future. The support seems to be truly mutual. I should also note that none of these people are fat and are in fact, very fit.

goatismycopilot · 2015-06-02T19:12:14+00:00

I would not offer any incentive because adults are supposed to have jobs and people who are ambitious tend to be driven internally not by external promises. I have a job that allows me to pay the bills, save a bit for retirement, and enjoy modest entertainment, so I got myself covered.

MissPearl · 2015-06-02T12:21:04+00:00

Because firetrucks are red, what incentive to they give for industrial investment?

dragoness_leclerq · 2015-06-02T20:19:18+00:00

What kind of sorry piece of shit only does X thing for the opposite sex? I mean this really and truly. This question is so...damn...beta.

What incentive am I offering a guy to get employed? None whatsoever. But I would think not wanting to live in abject poverty would be incentive enough for anyone to get employed...

Ajaxeler · 2015-06-02T13:13:38+00:00

Being so fat he needs to buy a train ticket to get away from me.That's what I offer.

nemma88 · 2015-06-02T12:45:02+00:00

What incentives have women got to stay thin when most men have bugger all of a income and a greater majority are overweight? =S.

Men don't do things for women, or when they do they attract less attention. Men who do things for themselves get women.

[deleted] · 2015-06-02T12:22:13+00:00

i'm not sure many non-RP women (here especially) want a man to do this for them; ideally, he'd do it for himself and then they could both have income. not wanting to be with someone who doesn't make around the same as you is different from expecting him to make more to please you (and some women don't even care much if their partner makes less).

if there were an incentive, i guess it would be staying with the woman, assuming this is a relationship both care about. the incentive to make more money is more money and a more comfortable life for the individual earning, though, so it's an odd question.

Cactuar_Tamer · 2015-06-02T14:08:27+00:00

lol, none, but probably not for the reasons you think, and why should they? And why should a guy need one?

He doesn't have to increase his income at all basically. Unless he wants to. I mean, I want to increase mine. It let's you buy neat things and live in nicer places and not worry about the future as much. Do it for yourself or don't bother.

In a year, I'll be debt free (finally) and feel comfortable supporting someone if an arrangement like that seems good for the relationship. That's my goal anyway. don't care about a potential partner's actual income as long as they have their shit together in general.

Hell, if I'm being honest I'd prefer being the higher earner. It would make me feel more secure.

[deleted] · 2015-06-02T15:51:04+00:00

Uh...for himself? Like if he wants to be paid in sexual favors, he should take that up with his boss.

haircombsnightmare · 2015-06-02T17:15:29+00:00

I'm hoping a guy doesn't need my stomach or lack thereof to have enough dignity to want and need a job.

rulenumber303 · 2015-06-02T21:36:41+00:00

Our teenage kids provide all the financial kick-in-the pants we both need.

BrewPounder · 2015-06-02T23:47:45+00:00

I personally wouldn't want to support someone else who's to lazy to work, so there's that. Common sense. Done. Next.

[deleted] · 2015-06-04T04:45:56+00:00

This seems like an odd question, or at least it's phrased in a way I don't quite understand. I'm not offering anyone any incentives because their choice of employment is their own business, even if we're dating.

I'm the breadwinner in my relationship, and I'm totally fine with that. I'm not incentivising anything, and we both make employment/life choices that we find fulfilling. Which I think is as it should be.

It's not that I don't bring good qualities to my relationships, it's just that I don't think those qualities should be some kind of bargaining chip. Ditto for my partner.

chasingstatues · 2015-06-02T12:41:14+00:00

I'm not American and I'm with a guy who is currently unemployed and is looking for a job . I don't care about money so I will support him no matter what decision he makes.

Title	To BP women: What incentive are you offering a guy to get employed?
Author	fundude1
Upvotes	5
Comments	49
Date	June 2, 2015 12:06 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/387hh7/to_bp_women_what_incentive_are_you_offering_a_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/to-bp-women-what-incentive-are-you-offering-a-guy.281818 https://theredarchive.com/post/281818

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