Is Denying your Wife of a Male-Female-Male threesome wrong, selfish, or cruel?

feelstheheats · 2015-03-10T22:20:36+00:00

I have seen BPers defend this time and time and again

Do you have a concrete example?

dragoness_leclerq · 2015-03-10T22:22:28+00:00

This is such a convoluted thread I don't even know where to begin. Very few people have ever argued that it's cruel or "wrong" not to allow ones spouse to fuck other people and I don't think I've ever seen such a thing either advocated or argued here.

SmurfESmurferson · 2015-03-10T22:29:50+00:00

If anything, I think this is something RPers and BPers can agree upon. It's totally legit, fair, and sane for a person in an exclusive, committed relationship to deny their partner the opportunity to sleep with someone else.

Hell, in certain situations, it may be the blindsided partner's clearest sign that it's time to end the relationship.

feelstheheats · 2015-03-10T22:07:11+00:00

Uh... what? No, it's not wrong, selfish or cruel to refuse the threesome. Why would you think that? Who defended it and why? That's ridiculous. If the husband's not cool with it, it's his right to say no and his wife should respect that.

taiboworks · 2015-03-10T23:43:17+00:00

I have seen BPers defend this time and time and again

then you should have no trouble producing at least one example. link?

saltinado · 2015-03-10T22:18:50+00:00

Huh? Who defended that? If you have a monogamous relationship, then keeping the relationship shut is completely reasonable. If both parties are down with opening up the relationship, then it's okay, but no, if you began a monogamous marriage, it's reasonable that you would want to keep it that way. Could there be some compromise, sure. But I don't think I would be interested in it if I were the guy.

belletaco · 2015-03-11T00:03:49+00:00

Where was this defended by a BPer?

YaBoiTibzz · 2015-03-11T00:43:35+00:00

Now, I'm no BPer, and I rarely agree or sympathize with them. But I will say that I don't ever recall a BPer saying that it's wrong to not have a threesome with your wife if she wants one.

[deleted] · 2015-03-10T22:10:16+00:00

This is specifically where the marriage was taken to be monogamous, no poly-amorous arrangements here.

The woman is wrong for trying to 'open up' the marriage and suddenly changing the rules. Any man that tries to do the same (after establishing and agreeing to a committed, monogamous relationship) is also wrong.

Edit: If both people are genuinely interested in changing the dynamic of their relationship, that's a different matter. If everyone is on the same page, then ~~that's a different story~~ it's more reasonable.

TheChemist158 · 2015-03-11T01:15:19+00:00

I guess you might be able to argue "selfish". Selfish being that he is putting his wants over hers. But it's okay to be selfish in some cases. Despite some red pill misunderstanding, BPers generally don't feel like a man should serve and worship a woman. It is completely reasonable for him to deny her. I don't think anyone is ever obligated to have sex with another person. If the wife tries to push him into it, she is in the wrong. The only time I have ever seen anyone argue that he is obligated to do it was some 15 year old girl in high school. I really think you are just punching stawmen here.

[deleted] · 2015-03-10T23:31:12+00:00

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wuboo · 2015-03-11T01:24:05+00:00

No idea where you got the idea that BPers defend this. In this case the husband has every right to refuse.

strongalfalfa · 2015-03-11T03:15:20+00:00

It is not necessarily but it could be. Not all men and women are the same. They are unique. Not all marriages are the same. They are also unique. It really depends on the situation, you can't just say yes or no. What if the marriage is polyamorous? IN that, case it could be wrong, selfish, AND cruel.

[deleted] · 2015-03-11T06:11:01+00:00

Of course its not cruel. She is changing the parameters of their relationship and its not ok for only one person in the relationship to be doing that without the other person also agreeing. If what they have is monogamy, well she has agreed to that and they can only change that TOGETHER.

Succubista · 2015-03-11T12:58:20+00:00

Are you serious?

No, it is not okay for anyone to feel forced to do anything sexual that they don't want to do. Anyone who argues that someone should HAVE to participate in a sexual encounter they do not want to be a part of is gross, doesn't care about their partner's needs/wants, and shouldn't have a partner.

I also don't think women should be beaten down into agreeing to participating in threesomes, but I guess that goes without saying.

And it's not selfish to want to stay within your own sexual bounds. If this hypothetical girl needs this threesome in her life, her only option is to leave this guy or be sexually unfulfilled.

GuildedCasket · 2015-03-11T21:08:35+00:00

If you're in a monogamous relationship, no, of course not.

If you're in a nonmonogamous relationship where females are allowed but males aren't, it still isn't wrong or cruel (unless done with manipulative intent), but it is somewhat selfish if the male does not at least attempt to address his issues if the wife wants him to.

Pretty simple.

BlitheCynic · 2015-03-10T23:06:03+00:00

No. If she agreed to a monogamous relationship, she should honor that. If she wants to start sexually exploring and the husband isn't down, she should weigh the value of the marriage against the importance of sexual exploration to her. If the latter is more important, it may be a sign that the couple is sexually incompatible and should break up. She has no right to coerce the husband into doing something he isn't comfortable with, but she does have the right to leave him if the arrangement is no longer what she wants. Same goes if the gender roles are reversed.

obstinatebeagle · 2015-03-11T00:16:20+00:00

One day the husband suggests a FFM threesome to the wife. The wife, has not expressed a desire for a threesome, with any combination of genders before. The wife says "no fucking way!" The feminists egg her on "you go girl! Don't let any man tell you to have sex if you don't want to."

So, is denying your husband of this opportunity selfish or cruel in any way?

chasingstatues · 2015-03-11T00:28:57+00:00

One day, the wife suggests the idea of a MMF threesome to the husband. The husband, has not expressed a desire for a threesome, with any combinations of genders before.

I wouldn't defend the threesome in this context. Usually this isn't something that gets brought up out of the clear blue--you both discuss and know each other's fantasies and fetishes much, much earlier in the relationship. You can't just spring that on somebody and expect them to be cool with it.

One day, the wife suggests the idea of a MMF threesome to the husband. The husband, has not expressed a desire for a threesome, with any combinations of genders before.

This is only relevant if you're the jealous type, and if you're having threesomes, then you can't be.

And it is possible to do this stuff without jealousy as a factor. My boyfriend and I recently started having FFM threesomes and swapping with other couples. Beyond learning that jealousy isn't an issue for us, we're seeing just how many people are a part of this world and lifestyle that also don't take issue with it.

But obviously both people have to be into it and on the same page about it. The husband has to want to watch his wife get fucked by another man just as much as she wants it. If one person is doing something like this out of guilt or obligation and for no other reason, that's a recipe for a disaster.

DaThrowaway808 · 2015-03-10T23:19:25+00:00

I believe this is cruel to the man more than anything.

How will I ever touch tips with bi men like /u/will_im_not , /u/powerkick , /u/buartha 's SO (cause if you can't have the main dish then you settle for the appetizer amiright?) if not through the safe medium of a woman? I am not homosexual but wish to have a fencing match with them in a non-homosexual way. The woman is the cruel one for denying me my right to use her as a battlefield.

[deleted] · 2015-03-10T22:37:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Is Denying your Wife of a Male-Female-Male threesome wrong, selfish, or cruel?
Author	feelstheheats
Upvotes	1
Comments	63
Date	March 10, 2015 9:55 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2ylw5n/is_denying_your_wife_of_a_malefemalemale/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-denying-your-wife-of-a-male-female-male.283154 https://theredarchive.com/post/283154

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