GASP An Internet Article That Actually Values Nice Guys?

WhosCountin · 2015-03-06T00:23:43+00:00

The comments are going to be so fucking predictable. You totally shot yourself in the foot with this choice, assuming this is supposed to be a counterpoint to TRP. I'll save you the trouble:

Before I met my husband, I dated a bunch of not-nice guys. I peppered in a few nice guys here and there, but I think I was so insecure and unhappy at that time that I either drove those good guys away or grew bored of their niceness.

TRP: Classic AFBB hamstered away by the author as usual.
TBP: Or she just matured and her priorities changed and she realized she had other requirements in a mate.
TRP: Yeah priorities like security and financial support.
TBP: No, when you're looking for a life partner, someone who you legitimately connect with and trust is a must. They're probably a great match, more so than the bad boys she used to date.
TRP: So she's prioritizing sex and attraction below other factors, therefore she's going to always miss Chad Thundercock while she has her vanilla sex once a year on her chump husband's birthday.
TBP: Your worldview is so sad an cynical. No wonder you have trouble with women!
TRP: Sure, I'm not swimming in sex or anything. Come back to me when you grow a brain and learn to actually argue. I'm a genius and you're a retard.

Thread over!

As far as my opinion goes, regardless of her rationale, the bad boys did get to fuck her when she was younger and hotter, and they definitely invested less as asshole boyfriends than this husband did. So even if she legitimately changed her priorities and isn't an alpha widow who looks back on her old sex partners and misses them, I'd much rather be the guy fucking the hot young version of her without signing over half of everything I own and earn.

ECoast_Man · 2015-03-06T01:09:03+00:00

Allright. I have some time to kill, so let's do this:

5 Things I Had to Learn In Order to Love My Nice Guy

Hmm. I wonder why she had to learn to love a nice guy? This is the fucking title. Let's read on:

Before I met my husband, I dated a bunch of not-nice guys. I peppered in a few nice guys here and there, but I think I was so insecure and unhappy at that time that I either drove those good guys away or grew bored of their niceness. I didn’t see the pattern then, but once I met Ivan and chose to prioritize this genuinely sweet, caring person in my life, there were a few things I had to learn.

What 'pattern' would that be? ... I'm stumped!

Part of being with a nice guy is learning to soften for him, particularly when he needs you to be present for him. This was hard for me. In fact, it’s still hard for me sometimes. I can be a hard-ass, and I can be snappish and reactive and I take zero shit from anybody. When I was with guys who weren’t all that nice, this wasn’t a problem. In fact, I think they sort of liked it. A less-balanced guy might try to charm me into being sweeter, or might take advantage of the situation to create a fight and cause drama.

Yeah, it's a real challenge to empathize with a man who is going through shit. It was so much easier with the guys who don't give a fuck.

What this means is that you’re going to have to get used to sharing him. He’s probably happy to help his dad fix the broken garbage disposal or let the neighbor use his pickup truck for a run to the dump. He’s probably going to run out to help his brother carry a couch, and he may answer endless text messages from his best friend when he’s going through a messy divorce.

Yeah. It's really hard as a strong independent women to imagine your LTR actually gives a fuck about his friends in a way that slightly inconveniences you. I mean, his best friend is only going through a divorce? Why should that interfere with him cooking dinner for you? You should follow the advice of this column and set 'boundaries' on when he can try and support his friends during hard times.

4. You need to become comfortable with quiet, peace and regular old happiness.

If you’ve lived in chaos most of your life, or if you’ve had abuse or a lot of drama in past relationships, you’re probably going to be really uncomfortable with the sense of ease that comes from being in a healthy relationship with a nice guy. I grew up among some emotional chaos myself, especially when I was young, and I’m also a very active and analytical person. (PAUSE) I spent most of my life attracted to movement, change, noise, high emotionality, and people who needed me to fix them. But none of that was ever really good for me. When I would land in a quiet, stable situation I learned to kick up dust to make myself more comfortable, and that wasn’t a good thing for my husband’s emotional state. In fact, it was really bad for him.

Do I need to say anything? What an 'analytical person' this is, who then 'analyzed' the cost benefit analysis of being in relationships of 'movement', 'change', 'high emotion', etc. sounds like she really put a lot of work into 'analyzing' these dalliances.

5. Finally, you need to stop being afraid you’re going to hurt the nice guy you love.

This seems like a weird thing to say, but one thing you may have learned in your life is that you are dangerous. Maybe you learned as a little kid that part of you was wrong—too spirited, too fiery, too emotional, too strident, too sexual, too loud, maybe too gay. Too something. You were shamed into believing that part of you was made wrong and because of that, you are just going to hurt people around you.

Yep. It really sucks when you're no longer in college, making out with other girls (cause you're 'bi'). This guy don't give you tingles, but let's just turn off our memories of cock carouseling like a light switch.

Phokus1982 · 2015-03-06T03:18:14+00:00

"What happens when a woman who loves so-called “Bad Boys” discovers that the man of her dreams is a total sweetheart? Joanna Schroeder found out the hard way."

That just screams 30+ year old who rode the cock carousel hard and now has to settle because the bad boys aren't attracted to her anymore.

taiboworks · 2015-03-06T00:07:15+00:00

There are heaps of "nice guys" over at /r/DeadBedrooms

Until people start talking seriously about how important an amazing sex life to a mans opinion on their own relationship your not really helping out men at all.

GuitarsAreGettingOld · 2015-03-06T02:03:12+00:00

For anyone who isn't aware of The Good Men Project, it is a site devoted to showing men that feminism and combating toxic masculinity helps men in the long run.

For anyone who isn't aware, The Good Men Project is the ultimate proof that you can never involve feminism when you want to help and support men.

Founder Tom Matlack tried to do just that. Wanted some kind of men's rights but "without the misogyny of the MRM" and open to feminism.

Hilarity ensued and he had to step down...from the website he founded.

Whisper · 2015-03-06T22:03:10+00:00

toxic masculinity

Could you please give us a definition and example of toxic femininity?

Thank you.

wazzup987 · 2015-03-06T01:38:18+00:00

Lol GMP, hahahaha. GMP is about pro male as TRP is pro female.

Kareem_Jordan · 2015-03-06T13:37:56+00:00

For anyone who isn't aware of The Good Men Project, it is a site devoted to showing men that feminism and combating toxic masculinity helps men in the long run.

It's actually hated by regular guys and feminists. One second, it's hosting an article written by a rapist, the next it's telling all men that they have some secret urge to use women.

YaBoiTibzz · 2015-03-06T02:32:11+00:00

Maybe we're finally seeing the beginning of the backlash against the rampant nice-guy paranoia? I hope so. The sooner people drop that shit the better. You may call TRP "toxic" if you want but personally I find it much more toxic to be shaming guys from on top of your high horse just for asking girls out or showing them attention.

Title	GASP An Internet Article That Actually Values Nice Guys?
Author	chazzALB
Upvotes	3
Comments	103
Date	March 6, 2015 12:02 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2y2yg1/gasp_an_internet_article_that_actually_values/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/gasp-an-internet-article-that-actually-values-nice.283215 https://theredarchive.com/post/283215

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