RPW Test! Did I get this right for an accurate if not a hundred percent scientifically rigorous look into trying something out?

roe_ · 2015-01-25T05:32:15+00:00

I have a suggestion. Shit-test him. Do something (mildly) rude or challenging to him. He has to react in a dominant manner. Then yield. If you just "give him" leadership, it kind of just happens by default. There's an aspect in which leadership has to be "taken", IMO. This may make it more "real."

Something to try, if you're comfortable with it:

If you need to have a difficult conversation, or apologize for something, or whatever, have him sit in a chair, get on your knees with your hands in his lap, and look up at him while you talk. This is a serious girl-game move and is basically crack for dominant-identifying men.

MissPearl, your commitment to empiricism is simply awesome. My fedora is off to you.

some_pill · 2015-01-25T00:45:19+00:00

Serious post. I worry, if you go through with this you may find yourself resentful of not "being allowed" to be yourself. Watch yourself, if you find your well being dropping - pull the plug.

MissPearl · 2015-01-25T01:11:55+00:00

I'd be very cautious with messing with your sex life if "I initiate about 99% of the sex" is true. Are you sure he isn't a full submissive?

How was your sex life in the beginning of your relationship? This would probably be the best indicator of how he prefers, however he might of been brainwashed into how woman like to be pleased and never really of embraced how he wants to have sex.

Red pill ideas work on the principle that men like to lead and woman like men who can lead in a relationship and empowering them to do so. This might be a problem if your man has suppressed too much of his natural alpha qualities.

tintedlipbalm · 2015-01-25T06:27:51+00:00

The Surrendered Wife outlines clear instructions and is a really quick read, it's even on Audible. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is quite a recommended read, but doesn't provide instructions. The former book is more about women who are dissatisfied in their marriages in which they have control. The latter is more about understanding the unhappiness that the lack of respect from his wife creates in a man. Basically, they both look at a problem, so I think it could be really tricky to watch out for results if you are doing this arbitrarily without a problem in mind to solve this way. I would think a good experiment would be to focus on a problem in your relationship and trying to solve it the RPW way. Then you could have a clearer measure of result.

But I am doubtful you will leave behind your preconceived notions and may just play along insincerely (just the way you describe femininity is not even serious). It seems you're tackling this the Super Size Me way, the timeline just wouldn't let things develop for change to stick and being introduced gradually and for him to trust/get used to the new you, especially since he seems to be completely aware all this will be staged.

hyperrreal · 2015-01-25T04:14:43+00:00

I'm a little surprised by these reactions.

As long as partner is aware of/ok with what you're going to do, what could go wrong? You'll learn about yourselves whether it works or totally fails. Plus it will be interesting to see what happens.

winndixie · 2015-01-25T07:16:57+00:00

Agreed, viable test.

Whatever the outcome is, I'm not sure if I can accept it as either a reinforcement OR a counter argument to all of RP ideas. At its best, this is ONE example of ONE relationship, no matter the outcome. I also seems to me the the woman having the higher sex drive, initiates 99% of sex, and dominant sexually screams outlier to me, and is not representative among the demographic of RP relationships that need fixing, if not the opposite.

With this said, I hope this improves your relationship for the better. You have my best.

Petticoat_Rule · 2015-01-25T07:43:27+00:00

Keep his balls empty and his belly full

Perhaps you could hook up some kind of machine. One part that does the daily milking and one part that pumps in viddles.

Then, even if you're're sick, he's catered for. Hope this suggestion is helpful.

MissPearl · 2015-01-25T13:56:04+00:00

RPW is about being psychologically feminine, yielding and legitimately RESPECTING a man (the way men want and define respect) and deferring to him out of that respect. Respect = admiration+deference. It is not a sexual kink. The "submission" is to authority like in military rank, not sexual as in bdsm, though it carries over into that.

Aside from reading the surrendered wife, this is cosplay and kink. I do not believe you respect and admire a man you dominate and youre just playing dress up and are going to declare your experiment a failure. If your relationship was already genuinely happy for your bf I can't see this as anything but something that will make him unhappy. If it does end up making him happier, will you be honest about it?

T-rexTea · 2015-01-25T04:02:50+00:00

I'm a female dominant sexually, but I've received more than one lecture on the subject that I'm only being allowed to do this (as opposed to RPW who don't have any choice?) but while he is a switch, I initiate about 99% of the sex. I'm also more likely to be the dynamic "planner" in our relationship

You're creating a power vacuum since your partner clearly doesn't have the balls an RPW seeks. Approach situation with caution.

some_pill · 2015-01-25T00:40:22+00:00

Dozens

sh1v · 2015-01-25T03:06:19+00:00

Is there anything I'm missing? Suggestions? Is this a viable test?

Serious talk for a sec, I dont think you should really try this. From the bits and pieces I've heard about your relationship, the specific guy you're with wouldn't appreciate these changes.

Certainly, if you were shooting to snag a high(er) value mate, they'd be sound practices, but y'know. If it ain't broke, don't fix it - the fact that your sex life is healthy is already a tell that things are already operating at peak.

MissPearl · 2015-01-25T17:23:45+00:00

Ooh sounds like a fun experiment! Good luck, MissPearl :)

Also, I'm not sure why RP people are adamant that RP roles are so different from kink, they're pretty much the same thing. You're just constantly in the sub/dom dynamic instead of leaving it in the bedroom.

AFormidableContender · 2015-01-25T15:09:42+00:00

I don't think this will be as hard as people are assuming it will be. The natural challenge of this is going to be that your "gentleman" sounds like a super sub male. You have never sounded like a true dom female, just a chick dealing with a sub male who lets his woman wear the pants.

I don't think this experiment will fail or succeed, I think you'll just get through it, find it unsatisfying because of the super sub nature of your guy, and declare the whole RPW thing a collection of people focusing on achieving an unsatisfying relationship when they could equalize the power vacuum and "have it all".

At the very least, it's going to make your BF feel anxious because now he has to be a leader when from the sounds of it, he's not a very strong force of character.

rpodhod · 2015-01-25T17:46:12+00:00

I initiate about 99% of the sex [...] he's just less likely to get horny enough to bother pursuit before I am already trying to jam him into one of my orifices.

This is an interesting subject. Ever tried covertly seducing him into initiating?

Do you know how, just opt not to? Or would you say you don't have the skills to succeed without him noticing your intentions?

anusretard · 2015-01-26T10:53:04+00:00

pretending to be a good girl for a month isn't going to do anything except emphasize that you're not a RPW. This is like surface level imitation of things men like without any of the substance. In other words, this comes off as a sex experiment conducted by a woman who's had a lot of partners with a man who is already willing to be with said woman, making the participants and the idea of doing this itself bluepill. The relationship is inherently bluepill, just putting a redpill sheen on it isn't going to change anything. Based on further replies to this thread it sounds like you passed the point of no return a long time ago.

In other words, this kind of behavior is emergent from a supporting framework of SMV, which in this case is totally lacking. Its just an imitation of what flows from something deeper, without having that in place.

This is redpill like a poor person spending all their money on a bmw is being rich

lisfb · 2015-01-29T20:47:10+00:00

Disclaimer: I self ID as purple with these subs, so if you’re taking to heart the advice from those who identify with red more strongly, go with their advice and you can, of course, take what I say below with a pinch (or three) of salt.

Make this a good faith effort.

A few suggestions:

If you’re up for it, post/interact with others in their sub or talk to people via PM. I think if you’re making an honest go of understanding things, people may be more willing to responding. At the very least, go through the sidebar, check out the current threads, browse the older ones. Poke around the histories of users and the mods, both the louder voices and the quieter ones, ones who are active and those who have withdrawn their participation. I think it helps to get a better understanding of the sub, the variances of personalities there, and determining how well you fit in as a poster and with the general ideas shared.

In the same vein, browse TRP. You’ve mentioned before that you’re not a fan of the sub, but I think you should try to pinpoint a few red (or purple) pill men whose posts you can respect/tolerate; just skim the threads they’re weighing in on (cuts down on the signal to noise ratio of just browsing the forum, itself). I think it’s prudent for those who consider themselves to be RPW to know what’s going on in TRP and vice versa (to completely write off your linked sib sub seems comes across as a bit odd to me).

I’m also going to suggest easing up on reading TBP while you’re doing this if you’re trying to keep an open mind and put in actual effort to decide for yourself if what you’re taking on has any merit. That said, you may not feel quite so much discord since this is only a short lived trial run experiment.

If Reddit’s version of red pill isn’t quite up to your liking, find other red relationship based sources outside of this site – styles of communication are different, their perspectives on what’s “allowed” ranges, but, in the end, they all spring from the same source.

(as opposed to RPW who don't have any choice?)

I do think, in general, RPWs are a lot more diverse than people - including some RPM, I’ve noticed – are giving them credit for. One of the phrases I see most often in the sub is a variation of do what works for you and your SO. If what you’re doing works for your relationship, keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t fix what ain’t broke.

Calm the fuck down. I don't argue with Gentleman or nag, but I am extremely high strung and I know this is probably the trait he finds the most annoying about me. Woosah.

This is what you should focus on then. Don’t worry so much on keeping the kitchen or focusing on sex since those aren’t points of contention in the relationship (I mean, yea, improve where/when you can…but prioritize).

feminity as a demeanor thing (…) this is literally alien to me.

Here &here comment string, PhantomDream09 put up, imo, a great set of posts that may serve as a starting point?

Is this a viable test?

I do have some reservations based off what I’ve skimmed of this thread, but overall it sounds fine to me if both of you are actually wiling to try - and, hey, if you want to try something new, gotta start somewhere, right? I’m glad you’re attempting it, though – if anything, it’ll just solidify or modify your actions toward/views on the sort of relationship you want or don’t want and I definitely wouldn’t consider that a bad thing.

Good luck to you and MrWildcard (side note: I’m a little disappointed his username isn’t My_Gentleman, by the way; I’m so used to reading your PPD posts refering to him as such). :p

asd1100 · 2015-01-25T17:40:42+00:00

As such there are going to necessarily be some issues with trying to parse out how one might act RP, and for that I apologize.

Just be pleasant. Put in the effort to be civil, friendly and helpful, kinda like what unattractive men do. Or women near more powerful women.

I have the higher libido than him. I don't know whether this counts as an automatic pass or if there's supposed to be some sort of adjustment.

Nah, you got to think of his full balls as sore breasts. They need the attention and love they deserve, you don't just grab and drain them to get the job done. Also, chanel that libido into how you dress, how you act and how you look at him. It's about adapting and ajusting to your partner(again, kinda like what men do). You can be horny 24/7, and be sexual, but you don't dominate, don't let it polute a real interaction if he want's a real interaction.

Our shared responsibility for dinner tends to be 75% of the time I get groceries, 25% of the time he does, while cooking is about 50%- if he's feeling poorly I do all of it, but given his preference he'd rather I only made dinner about 25% of the time

Then don't make dinner. Just pick up the slack on chores. Dinner is more symbolic: like gift giving for you. It's not about the material thing, it's about the intent behind it. Coming home to a clean, micromanaged house(all his chef gear clean and ready) and a hot wife that wants us is basically the only thing a man needs.

(note: that splitting of chores may not be all that consensual, as men just pick up the slack when we don't want to argue or we know we can do it better than wasting time telling and arguing about how you are doing something - so what you will actually be doing is give back, so the balance is again more "equal")

I think it follows that it falls on me to up my kitchen game, be as sexually accommodating as possible, but I'm not going to worry much here unless something changes.

As I have already argued, no, it's just about putting more into the relationship, at least as much as he is, wherever there is a need for more effort. Sex and housework are just areas modern women don't put any effort in anymore.

I'm a female dominant sexually, but I've received more than one lecture on the subject that I'm only being allowed to do this (as opposed to RPW who don't have any choice?) but while he is a switch, I initiate about 99% of the sex. I'm also more likely to be the dynamic "planner" in our relationship, and he's generally a lot more easy going- he basically has his very personal core I don't muck with and is content to have me drive.

No you aren't you just like good sex but have bad partners, so the only option is to use your wimpy partners as dildos. Grab a bunch of handcuffs and a blindfold and give your body to him for the evening. Everything goes, whatever he wants no judgement or emotional picking on him afterwards. (no, you have agency during the sex act even if you don't establish ground rules beforehand, you won't be fucking unconcious - kinda like men have) Let him regain his balls, also tell him with 2 days in advanced(we don't have that good of a imagination and the imagination we do have can put us in prison, if not loose our relationship)

I don't argue with Gentleman or nag, but I am extremely high strung and I know this is probably the trait he finds the most annoying about me.

This can be hard if your man is blue pill. So will do it the pussy way. Have a time out card. Explain this does not mean he did bad, you just need time to process. Also, have a emotion diary of your naggs and bitching. Instead of commenting, you put it in it at the end of the day. At the end of the week you express those emotions(if you still care about them) in a calm and collected manor. This basically employs 2 stages of filtering, one from in the moment to writing down and the other from diary to worth expressing them at all. I want you to focus on what you FEEL, not what he did, that is just a trigger. And I want you to coach him into not trying to correct his behavior but rather understanding where you come from and why you feel how you feel.(This narrative goes for you as well - this can basically fix most relationships on their own, so you're welcome)

Although I am cis female presenting this might be something I could work with?

you have a pussy you are female, I don't care what you want in it, it really doesn't matter as much as you want it to.
I sympathise, the idea is again not to become a fetish object(although that is a turn on for some) but rather to emphasise your natural qualities which are most probable what he likes you superficially for anyway(no sexual connotation here). DO NOT ASK HIM WHAT THAT IS, we are trained to lie to keep you happy, he could only answer honestly if he is autistic, just keep an eye out and notice what he notices, it's kinda instinctual, trust your gut. EDIT: by gut, I mean reading what he likes, not gut as in your opinion of yourself, unless you are at least bisexual you have literally no idea what makes a woman attractive. And your judgement is even more untrustworthy when it comes to yourself.

Instead of wearing bad makeup, and being sour about it. Try a make-up class, I don't get it personally, but I have not met the woman that didn't have fun at one of them. "Making yourself up" is kinda primal(like lifting weights is for us), you just don't know how to do it "your way" the right way, so you are unhappy with the results so you resent the process itself. Slowly immerse yourself in the art of female decoration, and have fun with it. This in paralel with advice no. 2 will help you find a balance between being a fetish object and looking like a male preteen with long hair.

Smile 'til it hurts. People describe me as a happy, bubbly person. But with so much emphasis on feminity as a demeanor thing, I feel like this has to be poked periodically.

no, just be happy, genuinely happy and content. That just radiates into our heart. Ok, I won't hard sell it, this is hard, really hard, but just be more grateful of what you have and accepting of what you don't. (I don't expect you to be able to pull it off, but at least fake it in this general sense)

Title	RPW Test! Did I get this right for an accurate if not a hundred percent scientifically rigorous look into trying something out?
Author	MissPearl
Upvotes	11
Comments	125
Date	January 25, 2015 12:26 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2tke8d/rpw_test_did_i_get_this_right_for_an_accurate_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/rpw-test-did-i-get-this-right-for-an-accurate-if.283713 https://theredarchive.com/post/283713

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Dozens