Should women pursue men?

Kara__El · 2019-10-06T17:04:29+00:00

I think one of the reasons women struggle with online dating is because they take the "dating" part a bit too literally. You're not dating anyone yet. You're just connecting with people who want to meet. It's really very different and messaging first is not a masculine move, especially since men have so little luck getting women to respond to them. I'd suggest a short message saying hi and asking a question about something on his profile to show you read it and give him something to say. Then meet as soon as you feel safe doing so.

As for meeting people in person, flirting is just being nice to men. Be friendly. Show interest. If they're into you, they'll take it from there.

Firbolgar · 2019-10-06T17:41:06+00:00

I think it's okay to approach. Just let him take the lead once you've signaled your interest. Like I met my husband on a dating website. I reached out to him first. Then he quickly took the lead. He was the one who asked me to meet up with him after we'd talked a few times.

It's okay to approach guys just try to do it in a feminine way. It's called dropping the handkercheif. You drop it and then let him pick it up.

It's really all about your energy. You don't have to be ashamed of being attracted to a guy or try to hide it. Men need a nudge sometimes to make a move, and if you them feel safe doing it-by making it clear you're into them, then they have an easier time stepping up and taking charge.

RedPillMissionary · 2019-10-06T17:46:33+00:00

Many men have been rejected so many times, they have given up. That leaves only the outrageous and the less intelligent men who continue approaching women. If you find a group of intelligent, hardworking, virtuous people, that may be a good time to go on the offense.

FluffyLlamaPants · 2019-10-06T20:43:42+00:00

In this day and age, waiting for Mr.Redpill to find and ask you out of the blue, eventually might get you sitting in a company of 15 cats, binging on last week's chili. Don't get me wrong, both of those things sound amazing, but so does having a good man to love.

As some pointed out, in the US, the act of courting/pursuing/doing the seduction dance was equated to pretty much sexual assault (thanks, feminism!). So, a lot more men of a certain age will say "not worth the chance of getting police called on me", when attempting to court a female they're interested in.

But that doesn't mean we gonna wither up and die lonely, right? There's a line between outright, relentless pursuing as a man does it, and feminine seduction. They don't call them "feminine wiles" for nothing - use them.

I personally see nothing wrong with messaging men, opening conversation, or even asking one to a dinner. Being forward and untimid, doesn't mean promiscuous. Being friendly, confident, and we'll socially adjusted - opens a LOT of doors.

NeSisVictima · 2019-10-06T22:01:34+00:00

Men who are not ultra-giga-steroid-chads are given very little chance to actually pursue a woman, without some social consequences. Another user stated this already: the smarter men, the more self-aware men, they already took note of the social consequences of pursuing a woman who is not instantly attracted to you, and checked out quickly, preferring the easier, although far less common circumstantial romances, usually running into relationships by accident through social circles(you are SOL if you're like me and tend to be solitary by circumstance).

Here is an anecdote if you care to read it: I'm basic height, with moderate muscle mass, and nothing outwardly wrong with me, except maybe I look slightly older than I am.

Two days ago I was reading some garden-variety fantasy in a Barnes and Noble. I made eye contact with a (very pretty)Female virtually the same age as me, for less than a second. She promptly left and began reading somewhere else, out of sight in the bookstore.

At the time I did not notice or think anything of it, but literally all it took to move this female was one involuntary casual glance. Imagine what would have happened to her if I decided I wanted to speak with her! Lol.

The point of me writing this anecdote is not to shame women in general, because that would be stupid, but only to show what normal men like me have to do to get through to a female. I did not have to even speak to this female to get her to reject me outright.

So the default, the default attitude of women who actually want to get into a relationship should be to Make the first move.

ScarletKitten2020 · 2019-10-06T19:55:39+00:00

For anyone in this forum. If you are interested in a guy, what would be a cool way to indicate that to him (other then telling him)?

Rejoice7 · 2019-10-06T17:37:11+00:00

The great irony here is that pursuing is “masculine” and that is RP but society is obviously not RP.

The idea of women pursuing will never be popular until it becomes necessary and as CNN (the frontline of truth) reports 45% of women 25-44 will be single by 2030. So this pursuit question is one of many uncomfortable results of gender normification. It will be a silent spring.

Edit: Correction 45% of working women.

Helmet_Icicle · 2019-10-06T18:51:39+00:00

You should be proactive for increasing the chances of success in pursuit of your goals. Happiness is a state achieved for the self, not something other people come along and give you. Doing nothing gets nothing.

All other qualities being the same, the woman who communicates effectively will have the edge. An example of direct communication like approaching demonstrates desirable traits such as confidence, positivity, partner filtering, respect, etc.

The difference between victory and failure is being able to make him think he made the first move.

Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/fPUA/comments/1fq0hj/the_playette_faq_by_hitori_i_found_this_a_really/

LateralThinker13 · 2019-10-07T13:08:00+00:00

There's a lot of confusion over this. It's unattractive to many men for a woman to act masculine - to ask another man out, pay for dates, etc.

That said, to be a wallflower won't get you many dates, either. You can aggressively PRESENT yourself as available - to be in the right places, at the right times, where suitable men are, and this only increases your chances of luring a potential mate. It's one thing to be sweet and submissive; it's quite another to do so where the men aren't, so you end up alone.

ManInASuit1 · 2019-10-06T17:40:31+00:00

I think its a good idea to start conversations with guys, especially in a place that the risk of them feeling as though they are "bothering" you. Lets say the gym or somewhere where they are at risk of women punishing them for approaching. I think most guys would be flattered by a woman approaching and flirting with them. I would also agree with the other comments with keeping dating off the table. Ask them for a date but by this point you should have some raport and be fairly confident of the answer.

Typhon45 · 2019-10-07T01:02:48+00:00

Well, do you want to be his item or an actual human being? Then there's no reason you shouldn't talk to a guy first. It's not like they're choosing you and you're waiting for them to do so, but it's a mutual thing so why can't either party make the first step? Do what you want.

blueberrypanda1 · 2019-10-06T18:05:17+00:00

I recommend reading the book called Getting To I Do... basically her advice (which works) is that masculine men are designed to want to pursue a woman - a feminine woman. When two people are together one is always more dominant and one more submissive. By letting him be dominate at first you’re letting him bask in his male power. You take away his chance to show you what a masculine energy man he is if you approach him. What you can and should do is signal him your interest - smile at him and hold the smile for five seconds and wait for him to come to you. If he’s a masculine energy man and he’s interested he’ll get the hint. Wait for him to ask for your number - let him chase. I met my my masculine boyfriend online and I let him lead early on. Later once you’re together things become more balanced and you can also take the lead in some situations. It’s not like he’s 100% leader and you’re 100% follower, maybe more like 60-40 or 70-30? Embrace your energetic and feeling feminine side. Very few women do it and masculine men crave it deeply.

Specialdom · 2019-10-07T14:28:26+00:00

Yes, women can take the initial step, but subtlety is key.

Online, just a simple hello :-). If he answers, answers him equally. Don't write paragraphs to a single word. If he doesn't answer or isn't really engaged in the conversation, he's not interested for whichever reason. If he doesn't ask you out soon enough, there's usually a lack of interest.

In person, the same. A simple, short gesture. If he's interested, he'll do the work and/reciprocate.

There might be the guys who are super shy and of those, a small percentage will be too terrified to do anything. But the vast majority of men, if interested will reciprocate your small gesture and will act.

If he doesn't, he's not interested, otherwise involved, in a bad place, etc etc.

There all kinds of cultural variations to the above, but largely, at a certain level of abstraction, I found the above to hold true internationally.

If someone doesn't respond in the way you had hoped, that just means that there's someone better down the line.

Theorymeltfool1 · 2019-10-06T21:19:14+00:00

Easy, use Bumble.

life-space · 2019-10-07T04:51:14+00:00

Of course its okay

Whisper · 2019-10-07T07:53:42+00:00

Is it ok to message guys on dating apps or make some kind of move to talk to him first in real life?

Why would it not be?

Celestial_Europe · 2019-10-07T23:41:13+00:00

Hey am a guy, are even guys allowed here?

My answer is fucking yes, i would be very happy if a woman asked first.

I havent asked first for a long time because of being turfed by lots of ladies pretending they were available only to attract me and then call the bf or something.

So i havent done any approach for a loong time, seen some women kinda sad (or it seems, not sure anymore) that i tried nothing and seeing them over and over at the library, but nope, I wont. But if they did...oh yeah!

So thats it, i guess ladies could benefit from that!

NicoleInBlue · 2019-10-08T11:19:51+00:00

Most men would sleep with most women if given the chance, especially if it doesn't require effort on their part. So pursuing a man will most likely result in sleeping with him since most men won't reject an easy lay. If that's the end goal, sure.

schielegirl · 2019-10-07T05:24:35+00:00

ToraChan23 · 2019-10-07T19:15:45+00:00

Get to know a guy you're interested in, find out common interests, invite his ass to something you both would enjoy and YOU pay for it (using y'alls logic for when men invite YOU out), and gauge whether you want to see him again based on how the "date" goes.

For example:

Get to know a guy gradually just like he would do to you. Find out his interests. You like baseball. He likes baseball. Go up to him and say "there's a game this Saturday, would you like to go?" He says yes (hopefully). Y'all go. You two continue to do things together. End of story.

Not that hard ladies. Go get what you want. The Future is Female.

Sad_Virgin_Beta_Male · 2019-10-07T06:43:15+00:00

Why would they? Having a vagina, these days, means all you have to do if you want sex is to accept any of the propositions you receive every day (or every minute if you're on Tinder). There's just no need.

Title	Should women pursue men?
Author	lilasbaby2
Upvotes	56
Comments	70
Date	October 6, 2019 4:50 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/de5svj/should_women_pursue_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/should-women-pursue-men.289068 https://theredarchive.com/post/289068

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