How do you respond to another guy asking your ltr to dance?

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November 1, 2019

If you were out dancing with an ltr, and the two of you were sitting a song out on the sidelines and someone came up and asked your girl to dance, what should you say? I imagine it’s some type of idgaf attitude, but what is the appropriate response? Thanks.

Post Information
Title How do you respond to another guy asking your ltr to dance?
Author p-tittyy2
Upvotes 79
Comments 104
Date 01 November 2019 08:00 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship

[–]EspressoCappuccino 126 points127 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your response should be to watch your LTR's response.

[–]br0j1tsu 1 points [recovered]  (21 children) | Copy

As long as they're not disrespecting her, no factor, is up to her to decide, then if she agrees is up to you to decide if you keep her. Never mateguard.

[–]Truedemocracy5 71 points72 points  (9 children) | Copy

Yep, this isn’t a test on you it’s a test on her.

[–]impulsexer002 10 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy

Rookie here, what do you do in the meanwhile? Hit up other chicks and invite them to a dance? Talk to the bartender? Talk to other people in the bar? I feel like all of these actions would be very short-timed, considering if she says yes to him.

[–]Shitcuckedredditsays 58 points59 points  (2 children) | Copy

If she says yes to some random fuck? You tell yourself you are a retarded for ltring a girl like that. Then you go and find youar next girl in the club. Don't ltr hoes btw.

[–]boywonder200 19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

The fact that other guys are giving advice on how to continue on while she dances with another dude shows the state that askTRP is in. Fucking pathetic. At that point you declare yourself single.

[–]Shitcuckedredditsays 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I hope they just didn't understand the question

[–]redpilllogin 21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dance with someone else, talk to someone else, or excuse yourself to the bathroom. Don't stand there like an idiot and watch her dance.

[–]CavillOfRivia 23 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy

what the fuck are these answers? jesus christ.

You leave, thats what you do. Leave that fucking place and forget about that girl.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Irish exit with no contact. That bitch will be blowing up the phone all night. This is a crazy situation and shouldn't happen if you properly vetted the girl to see if she is a party goer.

This would be epic if this happened at a wedding reception.

[–]Truedemocracy5 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends. As others here said introducing yourself to the guy in a friendly yet assertive manner works. If she runs off and dances with him, especially if something like grinding, then just leave and break up with her next day. Not worth time to turn it into an arms race by dancing with other girls

[–]i-am-the-prize 48 points49 points  (6 children) | Copy

This is hard for some to visualize. But it works.

An example of how mategaurding is weak and women pick up on it: I was at halloween party last weekend with my LTR. Like most parties we split up mostly once there and we go seek our friends and hang and such. I was talking to both men and women, and what little I saw of her, she was doing mostly the girl-gossip-catch-up. It is SO easy to make convo with unknown women at holloween parties - I mean just walk up and ask about their costome idea. I ended up playing foosball with 3 new-to-me- women in the basement since the beerpong table was lined with Bros i didn't know and a long line to get 'next game' so I asked the 3 betties for a game of 2 on 2. They were bored shitless watching the guys play beerpong and were glad for the distraction and fun.

Within 5 minutes of us whoopin-n-hollerin, 2 of the 3 husbands were over mategaurding (standing behind their women, trying to hug them and rub their shoulders during the game play) it was pathetic. I wasn't even kino'ing just 'gaming' literally with them at the foos table. The women were making eye contact with eachother annoyed their men were "on them" physically, I just smirked and played on, trash talking about the foos. (like all things, when you're good at something, it's attractive, I had the [mis]fortune of living in a group-of-guys-home in my early years and all we did was play foos 10 hrs a day, so I got frankly, god like at it. so I was toying with them, passing, shooting, rebounding off back wall and doubleshotting, it was like playing with kids). Anyways, these guys looked like weak defensive tools and their women were highly annoyed by it. 3 betties giving you high fives and my partner giving me a victory hug was the last straw, betabux told his wife it was time to go so he dragged her out of there - I offered to play him one on one, but he saw what I could do so he just growled and dragged her out of there. Ah... insecurity.

Anyways, later, LTR and I are together grabbing a drink at the upstairs bar (huge catered house party, 8000 sf home) and a guy who has always had the hots for my LTR is drunk but not yet sloppy. But he comes up and asks her to dance in front of me (huge living room had a full on DJ and dancefloor setup), she looks at me with "help me" eyes and I just laugh and walk away. Like above, if he were to get grabby/disrespectful, I'd step in - but this wasn't a test for me, this was her decision to either indulge him and annoy me or be true to herself (he's lower SMV and known to be a sloppy and handsy-drunk at the end of the night). Even if it was a chad, we came there together, we planned on leaving together, we were being social during with others. For me: dancing in our western culture is flirting and physical, it's not like in latin america where it's a social norm (you always say yes when asked to dance down there, it means nothing). It 'means something' in the U.S. So she acted how she acted knowing it would have been a boundary cross, plus she didn't want to for sure with him.

So to the OP, if we are to assume you're in the U.S. then it is a test for her, not you, but if she chooses "yes" being where you're from, it does mean something - maybe a message to you: "up your game, faggot" or "i'm bored of you, faggot"

[–]ziphias 12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good response. With regards to Latin America, yes, the social rules are definitely different. For example, at dance clubs in Brazil it's extremely normal for everyone to dance with each other at least once. Declining is rare. More than once can indicate a move being made, but people generally come to the dance places to just dance, and the discotheque to meet women. Context and personality type of the woman are to be taken into consideration.

[–]wtfoshizzle 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good response. With regards to Latin America, yes, the social rules are definitely different. For example, at dance clubs in Brazil it's extremely normal for everyone to dance with each other at least once. Declining is rare. More than once can indicate a move being made, but people generally come to the dance places to just dance, and the discotheque to meet women. Context and personality type of the woman are to be taken into consideration.

this honestly sounds like such a breath of fresh air. gaming women would be 10x easier if I got to spend more than a few seconds with them without fearing rejection. I know brazil is fucked in many other ways but I wish it was like that in the US

[–]i-am-the-prize 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know it sounds nice but Jesus Christ you better be a good fucking dancer.

I was in South America last year and went dancing with some friends and even the girls who say they’re not very good dancers are really really fucking good dancers especially when it’s actual dancing not just shaking like a seizure patient that we do mostly in the states.

[–]CharruaNative 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love this response

[–]Zanford 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Outstanding story and lesson. Nice job showing things from both sides, as the guy other guys are worried about, and as the guy in the LTR.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

it's not like in latin america where it's a social norm (you always say yes when asked to dance down there, it means nothing).

There are some venues where it's totally fine. OP wouldn't be asking if it was one of those venues.

[–]DTJ1313 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is perfect. Never thought about it like this. Thanks!

[–]PrettyHateSmooshing 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with this. and personally I would propose that there is a correct answer on her part and it is "no thank you." even looking at you with a raised eyebrow or asking "are you OK with that?" is not cool. unless you have an open relationship, but no it's not cool anymore than you leaving her and going and asking another pretty girl to dance.

The only exception I can think of for myself would be if it is a good friend of yours or relative etc. etc. who is asking her.

[–]currentlyinHell 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy

You don't react. I disagree with most people here, but I think amused mastery or A&A conspicuously appears as a butt hurt and insecure reaction.

In my opinion, best way for me to handle any guy talking to my exLTR was to not react at all as it's my LTRs job to shut down any advances.

If she doesn't instantly shut down the guy or accepts, it's a hard next. Reason for a non-instant rejection is because it means she'll 9/10 times accept the offer if you're not there.

Find and read the girls night out post here or in the main sub for more info.

[–]Greek-God-Brody 44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she doesn't instantly shut down the guy or accepts, it's a hard next. Reason for a non-instant rejection is because it means she'll 9/10 times accept the offer if you're not there.

This is a great point to have in mind.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 39 points40 points  (2 children) | Copy

Had to nuke some very bad responses, including "fuck him up", and one dude who posted "Take her, she ain't mine", because apparently Chad allows him to have internet access from the Shed.

The real answer is that LTRs are expected to mate guard themselves. If she doesn't, you picked the wrong girl. If someone grabs her, of course, you step in, because girls can't fight without guns. But so long as words are sufficient resistance to deal with it, make sure they are her words, not yours.

A good LTR avoids not just cheating, but the appearance of impropriety. If you ever hear her telling you "nothing happened" in a situation, then most likely she disrespected you by being in that situation in the first place, because "nothing happened" implies that it looks as if "something" might have. And we all know what sorts of things are included in "something".

So... how to achieve this? First of when you promote a girl to LTR, you are ditching your Indifference Game for Control Game. (If you're smart you did this gradually.) It's no longer just your turn, she is yours, and you better make sure she knows it.

If you think she'd never go for that, or that she would see you as "weak", then you either LTRed the wrong girl, or trained her wrong. If you think girls can never be controlled, then your pimp hand is weak. A girl can always be controlled if she is more afraid of losing you than you are of losing her.

Second, make your expectations clear. If you think that will sound weak, then you don't know how to project DGAF attitude. Any time the hypothetical idea comes up, you show no bitterness or resentment, you just make sure she knows she'd be ending the relationship, no hard feelings, good luck in the future, here's your apartment key back.

(Not telling her you would break it off with her, mind you. Just speaking with the clear idea, that, by doing anything like that, she would be breaking it off with you.)

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That include the top comment? Curious what caused such a stir in replies.

Any links to "control game"? I probably know some of it but have never heard of it referred to as such. I imagine dread and boundaries are big parts.

[–]tom-anonymous 35 points36 points  (16 children) | Copy

I understand that mate guarding is bad, and having to do it is weak. That said, many of the answers here are over simplifications.

It's important to note that there are 2 types of women in this situation. Type A is a high self esteem woman who has no problem speaking for themselves. Type B are low self esteem women who won't speak up for themselves, and they are depending on their man to be a man and step up and handle the situation for them.

If you have a Type B woman and you stand there speechless without saying a word (as the other guy drags her off), you're going to look like a weak and passive boy who's afraid to protect what's theirs. This is coming from the perspective of a low self esteem woman. Think Marty MacFly when he punches out the guy who cuts into his dance in Back to the Future. Should he have just walked away and let her handle it?

Women do take note of silence and sometimes take it as weakness. Because if you're not willing to stand up against another guy and say something, then you probably handle situations in the real world like this and get pushed around. It's a fine line.


In the case of a low self esteem woman - if a guy came up and asked her in front of me, I'd probably laugh at his face and tell him to get lost because she's with me. Mate guarding or not, some women really get turned by the fact a man can easily handle a situation that puts other men into their place.

[–]Nergaal 9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy

these low self-esteem women would have no problem being dragged away when you are not there to mate guard them.

[–]tom-anonymous 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Not necessarily. Many insecure women will still look to you to handle the situation for them. And when you don't, you might end up looking like a weak faggot.

Take care of the situation like it means nothing to you, and then take them home and fuck her. Saying "she's with me buddy, get outta here" is a better strategy to have sex at the end of the night than standing there like a faggot saying nothing.

[–]Dickwad 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You've completely missed or avoided his point.

Once again - WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU ARE NOT THERE? What about when guys make moves on her and you're not around to play captain save a ho?

The answer is to not get in deep with weak girls in the first place. If you have to worry about her succumbing to every pushy guy that rocks up, even right in front of your fucking face, she's useless as a gf. Fuckbuddy at best.

[–]tom-anonymous 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think you're missing something important here, because you're arguing something we all agree with.

2 things can be true at once:

1.) You should never have to worry about what a girl will do whether you're there or not. If you have to start doing this, you shouldn't be with her.

2.) Many women look to the guy they're with to handle situations like this. They do this because they want a big and strong man to stand up for them. They will have no problem dealing with the situation themselves, however if you stand there like a quiet fool, they will think you are weak or you don't give a shit about them.

You can either ignore this or acknowledge this scenario exists. But I can assure you, if she has to handle the other guy herself (while you stand there passively), chances are she will feel one way or the other towards you. She will think you're either a pussy or you don't give a shit about her.

You're basically trying to use this situation as a way to shit test her, however in doing so you've lost a shit test / comfort of your own from her side. Good job. At least you can live in your own head and say you're a "high value man" while she's thinking "why am I with a guy who just sits there and is fine with another man taking me to the dance floor".

[–]Dickwad 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alright I see what you're saying now.

I might agree with you in the case that she is clearly trying to get rid of the guy and he's refusing to take a hint.

There are girls who would question the manhood of any guy who isn't an emotionally volatile control freak but those girls tend to be from dysfunctional abusive backgrounds so filtering them out is no loss.

[–]novalentineforyou 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

why do you call faggots weak? that's an insult to faggots. me and my faggot bros are all jacked, moreso than the average terp breeder

[–]tom-anonymous 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Personally I have no problem with gay people at all. One of our close lifetime friends of our family is gay. When I say faggot I'm strictly using it in the context of MRP sidebar definition.

[–]novalentineforyou 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Where others would say faggot when talking about a skinnyfat redditor who respects women, I say soyboy. I think it's more descriptive. There are plenty of emotive, flamboyant, and sometimes effeminate men with a strong pimp hand who absolutely slay.

[–]tom-anonymous -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right on.

[–]theyearsstartcomin 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Underrated comment

[–]Swanniie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. It honestly is not a one size fits all situation.

[–]Questionnaire7 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Agreed. Im suprised no one had posted an explanation of why until now. I think a lot of TRPers get so caught in theory they stop getting the basics.

[–]ruvrvugo 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yea it's common sense. They are in denial and hamstering in their head to come up with a reason to avoid any confrontation with another male, a male who is blatantly disrespecting you by asking your girl out in front of you. They're trying to convince themselves why they're not pussies. I'm disgusted by most of the comments in this thread.

[–]Questionnaire7 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At least no one posted "SIDEBAR"

That reply is the absolute cancer of trp. Though sometimes it is needed

[–]ruvrvugo 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is correct and this should be top comment. Everyone here who thinks otherwise is delusional.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

If the girl is into you.. She would reject the other guy. If not, and you’re dating a party girl or drinker, best to reanalyze the relationship. Demote if you still enjoy the vag bag but wrap that shit.

[–]redpilllogin 18 points19 points  (13 children) | Copy

My response is under the assumption that you are referring to social dancing (i.e. salsa, merengue, bachata) where people go to places with the explicit intent to dance.

I have done this with LTRs and it's no factor. If she wants to dance she'll dance. Normally guys would ask me or both of us if she could dance with them because it's obvious we're together, due to her being all over me.

I never had a guy approach my LTR to dance while I'm standing right there. The only way I can see this happening is if you are perceived as very beta. If that were to happen however, it is up to her to politely decline.

If you are referring to a different setting at a random night at a random club and a random dude approaching your girl while you are right there with her, that dude has zero respect for you. Again it is up to her or reject the guy who disrespected you.

[–]throw_me_round_baby 9 points10 points  (10 children) | Copy

A lot of people seem to be discussing dancing in a club/bar setting, so I though I would add on to the perspectives from social dancing.

I swing dance, and the culture is to dance with everyone even if you're there with a SO. If you ask to dance, generally people never decline.

I think the most important attitude is know you're the prize/don't mate guard. My LTR usually comes back from a dance with another guy and tells me how ackward it was and how dancing with me is so much better. Though she also declines to dance with a lot of guys when she is with me.

Context matters and watch her actions

[–]-DeadLock 8 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy

Your advice only works if you are good at social dancing. It can be a nightmare of pseudo cuckery if you're not all that good and still learning and the best dudes there are dancing bachata with your high smv gf. One of the worst aspects of being a gringo and dating a latina for sure.

[–]no_re-entry 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

But see if you're with a chick and you go out to these places to dance and you're learning/suck she knows that. She understands. The most important thing to do in that situation is do you best and dance as much as possible to just try and practice and that will show as high an SMV as if you were an amazing dancer.

Also- in answer to OPs question in a social dance setting. If someone asked the girl I was dancing with to dance and she said yes I would wait a beat and fand someone on her same level or higher to dance with. At that point, if she sees you, you’re more in her head than the dude and she’s not in your head.

[–]-DeadLock 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

It will reduce their attraction to you on a subconscious level, trust me. Its a net negative that you have to compensate for otherwise.

[–]no_re-entry 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have to be respectively disagree. I picked up tango this year in January. Initially I sucked so I started by saying „I’m a beginner but let’s dance“ when going to the milongas. And then since I suck I distract them from my moves by chatting with them and working the game while we dance.

Then afterward they tell me how it was such a pleasure dancing, how brave it is to be dancing so much as a beginner, and how they much prefer to dance with me over someone who is a seasoned professional because they enjoy our connection and my presence/warmth.

Maybe that’s a statement on my personal game, maybe how it’s working for me doesn’t apply to other lead/follow dances. I’m attractive, a quick learner, and the ratio of leaders to followers is skewed toward followers so who knows if that has anything to do with it as well so YMMV but overall as long as you’re upfront about your skills and YOU‘RE WORKING TOWARD GETTING BETTER (not yelling, just emphasizing) I think any woman will forgive you for it.

The women who don’t forgive you for it will politely decline till you’re better or are stuck up and aren’t worth your time of day anyhow.

The only time you’ll be coming back from a net negative is if you legitimately have two left feet and aren’t getting better or if you don’t get the chance to say you’re new/a beginner (you can also mention this afterward „that was fun! Thanks for dancing, man I cannot wait till I can twirl you all kinds of ways in a few months when I’m not a newb anymore ;) ) Women love to see men trying/learning new things, working at those things, and not being afraid to fail.

[–]-DeadLock 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

We arent talking about the same thing, but i essentially agree with you on many points. Im talking about being in situations with a high smv LTR being brought to these events. These guys whove internalized bachata and reggaeton from young ages hardly have good intentions and can basically have sex on the dancefloor. They can swoop up your gf, push some boundaries while you start off with the bottom of the barrell and some pity dances. I would never start off green with an LTR in these places.

[–]no_re-entry 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah you’re right I got taken away from my own experience. I’m not sure how that would work with an LTR in tango actually. Especially if you’re learning.

[–]throw_me_round_baby 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Haha, completely fair assessment dude. Gotta be comfortable with yourself, but that's a tough situation to be in.

[–]-DeadLock 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You've just reminded me to continue attending dance lessons while Im still single..

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's great fun.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I swing dance

User name is epic. Yep, I swing dance to and it's fine to ask anyone to dance.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My response is under the assumption that you are referring to social dancing (i.e. salsa, merengue, bachata) where people go to places with the explicit intent to dance.

I social dance a couple times a week....putting your hands on young bitches and moving them where you want them to go is a great hobby.

OP wouldn't have been asking, though, if it was a social floor.

[–]warburgio 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]PhaedrusHunt 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Umm what kind of dancing? I'm from Texas and two stepping with someone else isn't a big deal at all here

[–]longjeep2005 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, kinda surprised by some of the responses here saying to next a girl over a dance. I would only be concerned if she just bolted away immediately. It’s not a big deal, just go find another girl to dance with. She’ll be back.

Club grinding is a different story of course.

[–]Kkiy0M 8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

You don’t say ANYTHING!!! God bro how can you even ask this?? You don’t say anything and look at her, keep eye contact with her don’t show any sort of reaction or emotion on your face. If she says no and RESPECTS you all by herself without you interfering, then she’s a good girl atm and your relationship dynamic is correct. Don’t get all happy and giddy or show any kind of thankfulness for her doing so though like a little puppy, she’ll instantly regret it. Continue to make your face as “emotion-less” as possible and act like it never happened. Don’t mention it in the conversation either. If she does someone bring anything about him up in your convo to gauge you, just say “mmmm” like you’re thinking of it or grunt or something.

If she says yes, still don’t show any sort of emotion or reaction on your face. If you keep her after that you’re an absolute fool. They might not bang right there on the dancefloor and they might not even touch each other whilst dancing, but the element of disrespecting you and not wanting your approval is right there and very clear to see. Be as nonchalant as possible for the rest of the night, don’t act like a little bitch by showing her you don’t approve of it or you’re hurt in any way. Let her keep guessing in her head what you’re thinking. Don’t feed her thoughts!! Be conscious of the time thought and convey a sense of wanting to get outta there. After the night, don’t drop her home. Don’t hit her up again. Don’t flat out ignore her either. If she does hit you up, tell her something important came up when she wants to meet. Tell her you’re busy with business for a while. Make your reply a lot later than it would usually be. Keep it neutral. Don’t seem happy or angry when you text.

Edit: Whoever’s saying A&A or befriend him is an absolute nerd. You do that when it’s just you and her and she’s trying to shit test you or something, you don’t do that when another guy blatantly comes up to you and your girl telling her “hey come dance”. That shows her you have no pride as a man, it doesn’t show “you don’t care” and “abundance mentality”. Sometimes it’s as if the worst lucked guys when it comes to girls are plaguing this sub with their bad ideas.

[–]RAGNAR_GZ 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

I like this, except the part about after she hypothetically dances with another guy. There is no way I’d waste another second with this girl. Second a girl does that, “Stacy” at the bar is going to get approached. Followed by LTR getting herself home.

[–]Kkiy0M 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

No bro. You can’t seem bitthurt and weak. She needs to have the mentality “he likes me more than other girls just enough to give me a chance, but if I do anything that risks losing him it won’t affect him in anyway, it won’t hurt him and he won’t think twice about walking away.” She needs to KNOW that you appreciate YOURSELF more. Oddly enough this will make her like you more, girls are weird eh.


Therefore, you don’t leave right away. You become completely nonchalant, even more so than you previously were. Completely detached. The KEY is to do this WITHOUT seeming angry. Leaving straight away makes you look like an emotional girl who runs home to cry because her crush stood her up. You guys leave a bit earlier than you normally would, and set the boundary by not dropping her home. LET HER WONDER WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR MIND. DONT GIVE HER ANY SORT OF CLUE. DONT BETRAY ANY EMOTION ON YOUR FACE. I’m sorry I have to keep putting in caps but some of the guys on here are still so clueless even after reading the side bar you can tell their SMV started from zero. But it’s fine I guess, they’re still alive so they can improve. When you text her you make your texts neutral not happy or angry or sad. You DO NOT text first(obvious but some guys are clueless), you reply double or triple the time it’d normally take you, and you say you’ve been and are seriously busy, really important stuff you’ve got to take care off, etc. You do NOT specify what it is.

[–]RAGNAR_GZ 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

You’re basically saying that you’re ok with getting cucked in a LTR. I think we can assume we’ve already nexted the LTR. What exactly are you protecting here? The relationship? Hell no, that’s over.

You’re missing the point here, and that’s the fact that if she went off and danced with another dude you’ve already lost.

[–]Kkiy0M 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hmm. It appears you’re right. I am suggesting a situation where you’re still keeping frame with her, but what does that matter if you’ve already nexted her and don’t plan to salvage the ltr?

Now that I think of it, my suggestion is not one where you’d be getting cucked. You cut it all off, but it still gives the opportunity of using her as a plate down the line. I can see both our sides to this.

[–]RAGNAR_GZ 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Making a LTR a plate is really hard. The feels, the Oneitis all makes it a bad idea IMO. Time is always better spent getting new fresh women.

[–]Kkiy0M 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Come to think of it I agree with you.

[–]RealHedgeFund 1 points [recovered]  (14 children) | Copy

I don’t allow her to be touched by other men unless they are family. Haram

[–]ogkushinjapan 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

What about letting her drive?

[–]DTJ1313 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is interesting. Do you allow her to be touched (hugs) by male friends she knew before you met her?

[–]FilthyStylish 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

According to this dude a human being is not allowed to touch another human being of the opposite sex unless it’s an exception.

Exceptions are husband-wife (full sexual relationship allowed excepting anal and when the woman is ovulating) or parents, siblings and children (non sexual relationships obviously). Parents are your direct parents and their siblings (your aunts) and grandparents. Siblings and children are your biological siblings and children.

So it’s haram for this dude to touch his LTR unless she’s his wife. Friends and even biological cousins are haram.

[–]dynospectrum7 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The haram point is quite funny actually. I see a girl from an arab gulf state. When she sees my friends that shes met several times, she greets them with a handshake. So yea, with your LTR, how she acts with other men shows her respect level towards you.

[–]-DeadLock 11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy

Muslim mateguarding makes your women the biggest whores after their leash is off.

[–]RealHedgeFund 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

No. She is told she can leave me and do whatever she likes. If she is with me she follows my boundaries. Her free choice.

[–]-DeadLock 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Hm ok. I have mixed feelings on this approach tho.

[–]RealHedgeFund 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Why? It is very clear from beginning. This is ok for me, this isn’t. If you don’t like me then just say and we part our ways.

[–]-DeadLock 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Because you could potentially just be teaching her how to act around you but shes her real self without you. Its not the case everytime but I did that in my last relationship and now Id rather girls just be themselves and then ill make a decision about them

[–]RealHedgeFund 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

And in other posts red pillers say you have to "teach" and "train" your girl and now you have to have her guess everything perfectly on what you want...I mean...make up your minds then?

I mean some things are obvious. Fucking other guys is a dealbreaker or flirting, or kissing. Some might see dance as a neutral activity, I see it as intro to sex. So I tell her that is how I see dancing, naturally I don't want other men touching her because of those reasons. Too unreasonable?

[–]-DeadLock 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know.. Thats why I said mixed feelings. You raised good points.

[–]brosky7331 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]__TheDon__ 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t do anything. Wait and see what your LTR does. Depending on the decision she makes, you will then make the choice to next her, or keep her around.

[–]-ThePathIsTheGoal- 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This thread is extremely important to the community - I hope it gets an insane amount of input from everyone so we can come up with a consensus answer, because questions like these are highly practical.

A few bits of common sense:

1.) No, you shouldn’t care if the guy that asks her to dance is your uncle or an 80 year old man.

2.) You should not be LTR’ing girls who go to the club, or want to go clubbing at all. With or without you.

[–]Zanford 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Context. If you're at some sort of ballroom dancing event/class/lesson where it's completely normal and unsexual for the guys to go around asking girls for the next dance, then you shouldn't do anything, and it's not a red flag if she accepts.

If it's a nightclub or house party where the connotation is more sexual, then look at the girl's reaction. If she's eager to dance, then congrats you learned something now rather than later: red flag and you just got important info and you can demote the LTR to plate or just ghost at the next opportunity. If she looks to you to be the one to 'decline' out loud for her, then go ahead, tell the guy 'she's with me, we might dance in a bit / we're sitting this one out', keep it simple and don't act defensive. Mateguarding is usually a bad idea but there can be cultural nuance where it makes sense for you to be the one to overly decline on the girl's behalf. (But if you feel like she's the type of girl who would have trouble saying no to such things if you weren't there, even if she's not into the guy....that's a bit of a problem. Trust means trusting the other person not to be a pushover.)

[–]Kn31 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It varies because we are all different men. But the laws are universal, hold frame, don't get heated or jealous.

Now setting and circumstances matter, I'll use two extremes.

  1. Her uncle asks her to dance at a wedding- obvious answer.
  2. Some guy comparable to you asks her and they start grinding up in a party/club- again obvious.

Now it won't always be this clear cut, but you're asking the wrong question, it's what happens after the guy asks. Truth is if anything happens to make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy. Terminate with extreme prejudice.

Self-respect and self worth are pillars to trp.

PS Me personally if she doesn't give a hard no it's over. No fuss no fight just frame

[–]p-tittyy2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you everyone for your advice. I appreciate it.

[–]temerity18 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't go dancing with LTRs

[–]Ricky469 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In some situations it's expected and harmless, wedding etc. but I would then ask another girl to dance if I was you.

[–]TigerXtrm 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Find some other chick on the dance floor and go dance with her, obviously.

[–]DTJ1313 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s just petty and insure. Makes you look hurt. Easier to just hard next and keep your composure as if you don’t care.

[–]JRSBOOM13 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It’s blatant disrespect to you if a guy asks her to dance. Disrespect is met with action. There is no other way to respond unless you’re beta bitch boy.

[–]ruvrvugo 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Finally someone that understands the real issue. I'm actually appalled by the responses in this thread. Everyone here is a pussy. If a guy knows that you are the girl's BF, and asks her to dance anyway in front of you, he is disrespecting YOU. It is no longer an issue thats rests on her. He is disrespecting your manhood. He is literally trying to cuck you right then and there. This is incredible disrespect and it must be met with action. Arguing that the responsibility "falls on her" is just mental gymnastics and hamstering to avoid confrontation. You just don't want to admit that you're a weak bitch that can't stand up for yourself.

This whole thread just exposed how much of a beta bitch everyone here is.

[–]JRSBOOM13 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

100%. Glad to see there are still real men out there. Everyone is a fuckin cunt anymore. I don’t change because society is soft. Stay hard brother.

[–]strainer123 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think you can say anything not to sound too possessive, but if she accepts then its a total red flag.

[–]bilabrin 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Take it away hot shot! Sweep her off her feet, but don't start anything I can't finish.😉

[–]JoeBuckYourslf -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’d fuck his girlfriend/wife/mom/sister.

Mate guarding is weak.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys -3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

IMO I honestly wouldn’t have a problem with her dancing with a guy. Under the circumstances of the type of dancing, the amount of alcohol the place has and the type of place your in. I go to “country dancing” places a lot and 2 step with girls and ive noticed there are a lot of girls that dance with guys simply to just dance. It doesn’t have to be a flirty sexual thing at all. All but I’d rather it be a close friend that’s dancing with my girl period but there are some cases when I really believe it’s not a big deal at all. But if it’s a club type scene everybody’s fucked up and looking to bang then it’s a whole new ballgame, she better reject.

[–]JRSBOOM13 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

With an axe

[–]RPOpenUp -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's free to dance with anyone she wants. You can't force certain behaviours on her. However, if she's somewhat of high quality she will not risk dancing because she knows she can loose you. Give her freedom but let there be consequences

[–]Forsaken4321 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have a nice little thing i do if some dude hits on "my girl" in a club or somewhere else. Its hilarious and works 100%

But first, we dance alot here where i come and its fun most times, so being jeslous here is not necessary. Im in Austria Europe. We have those Disco Fox dance shit. Which is really hard to do good and is more sport than grinding

For example, if i go to piss, and i come back some meathead hits on my target or girl.

I go close to him very friendly and am really inviting to him, and say ohh you are hitting on my girlfriend, very good, but you should know im totally not into the soft stuff, while fiercly grabbing his ass and or kissing/licking his cheeck. "Go get us some drinks boy"

This triggers such a heavy flight reaction its hilarious. And they are cought off guard because usually guys fight them to hush them away.

Somehow now they have the image in theyr head hitting on this girl included getting fucked in the ass by me later :D so running away it is

[–]Domebeers -3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Thank god, I needed a cigarette"

make it a compliance test. I view it as the same as if you were meeting your girl at a bar and when you get there you see she's in a group with other men. I may give her a peck on the cheek (maybe, even that is a lot) and then go to the bar and order a drink. The compliance test is if she stays with the group or comes joins me at the bar. Same thing with the dance.

Honestly I don't view it as the afront some of you do. What I'm more curious about is: Is it one dance, ie does she seek me out after. If I have a cig and come back in and she's still dancing with the guy I'd cut in, I wouldn't 'punish' her then and there but I'd make note she failed the compliance test. If she's just dancing on the dance floor when I get back in that's better but it's still not the greatest; the ideal is she seeks me outside or wherever the smoking area is.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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