Single men of PPD: what is your sex life like? Non-single men of PPD: what do you single friends tell you about their sex life?

Nodoxxintoxin · 2019-12-22T15:34:04+00:00

I’ve basically become an incel. I’m not quite sure why, but I have some theories. I think a lot of it might be my age - I’m in my early forties. And while I’m far from poor, I don’t know that I’m rich enough to still be attractive. Also, I quit drinking just over two years ago, which has really hurt my social life.

I think I’m also becoming less pleasant to be around, and I’m not sure if that’s the cause of my lack of success with women, the result, or a loop.

gunbusterxl · 2019-12-22T17:18:01+00:00

I'm one of the weird guys that don't give a rat's ass about casual sex. Maybe I have a low T-count. Don't know, don't care. So I put zero effort in getting laid. The only women I ever fucked were ones I was dating or interested in dating, so I would be ok with being seen in public with them or introducing them to my family. What I look forward to the most when getting home is either hanging out with my friends, or getting some sleep.

I work a lot, and am in the middle of changing careers (which includes a whole new degree, so full time student too) so I don't have much free time. When I finish changing careers I'll probably look to settle down, and start dating again. I get approached every so often, so there's still plenty of available women out there. The issue is vetting properly. Most people are kinda shitty, and that includes women.

QuestionablePresenc3 · 2019-12-22T15:42:33+00:00

My sex life is absolutely nonexistent and is probably gonna stay that way lol because I'm not putting any real effort. I have no problem getting tinder matches apparently, but they do not go anywhere because I absolutely loathe texting so I can't capitalize on them (and not that I have any game in the real world anyway).

I'm more or less content though because I do a ton of stuff in my spare time - yoga before work, tennis practice after, baking/cooking stuff, plus there is bass, tv series, trying not to lose progress in my Japanese and so on.

Workaholiconew · 2019-12-22T15:20:38+00:00

My sex life is relatively good, could be better, I am having the least sex possible to not become depressed, once every 45 day on average, so I can focus on my dreams. I still invest a good amount of my resources into not being sexually frustrated, unfortunately. If I were to guess, I would say I spend around 10%-20% of my general resources like money, time and time to avoid sexual frustration.

I am just waiting to get to the age where I can go about without sex at all and not be depressed, I am getting closer and closer to my 30's, and I presume I can live without it by my mid 30's. I have no quarrels to be seen with women I am having sex with, I wonder why you would think that is, and my family knows some of these women. I have quite the clear relationship with my family, I would not have any problem presenting those I fuck to my family. There is my brother who changes women like he chances clothes, and some are quite, worrying, so mine are tame in comparison. His purpose in life is sex, he seem quite proficient at it.

I am quite fond of PC video games, when I get home, something to relax like the sims, however I cannot play them anymore, I am too busy, and I quite like being here on reddit too.

Unfortunately, all my close friends are no longer on this earth, I have some other male friends from work and study, but I can't say we are as close, I mostly just hear. All have been married now but from what I understand they were way less efficient on their pursue of sex, I am quite cynical of most stories, but overall it seems they spent a lot of resources for sexual satisfaction. Those divorced did wise up a bit however.

noNooodleArms · 2019-12-22T16:03:56+00:00

[deleted]

Ditheon · 2019-12-22T16:35:02+00:00

Non-existent. I decided to buy a large tract of land in the country at 27. I'm an engineer and live an UMC lifestyle. Any others in my area living the same life are usually older and married. Single women in my area are here with their parents after bad life choices or failure to launch.

I've been here 8 years and have come to enjoy the solitude. My income reached a level this year where I can afford an apartment in the city as well. I'm just getting set up, but I hope that my dating life will take a turn for the better soon.

CommercialBreak · 2019-12-23T06:28:01+00:00

Im at the age where ppl are starting to settle down and get married.

The guys i know who have their shit together have hot, or at least cute, girlfriends that seem well behaved. I can tell they have good sex lives because they arent miserable.

The fringe guys- the fuck ups, the immature, the NEETs or low income may-as-well-be NEETs. Are either single and doing ok, or have a subpar girlfriend who is crazy, poorly behaved and he seems miserable.

I know two guys that are players who have gfs for a few months tops, but i roomed with one for a time and i think his sex life actually sucked. He would get with chicks, take a while to actually start fucking and they would break up soon after. I suspect he wasnt a player out of choice, i think it was because he couldnt actually hold down a relationship. Or maybe he just didnt know a relationship could actually be good so never really tried to make it that way.

This guy never speaks about his emotions ever, he’s kinda like a robot. I suspect TRP stoicism advice doesnt really work out in practice, chicks actually dig an expressive guy imo, they want upbeat and dramatic more than quiet and stable.

Basically what im getting at, chad is usually the guy with the hot gf who stays with her for years. Serial monogamous types. The guy more or less indiscriminately fucking his way through half the city may not actually be as top tier as the first guy. Quality > quantity

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-12-22T15:54:55+00:00

Hmmm, I can't think of many close male friends who are single. The majority of my closest friends are partnered. Same with my SO's friends.

Couple of my buddies from my old job are and I know they haven't been dating much. One was in a 6 year long LTR, but he says he got complacent. He's a super cool and fun dude but I know he just hasn't really pursued anyone in a little bit. He is probably one of the most fun people I've met. Super down to Earth.

Was just hanging out with two of my other close friends who are single since I'm down in LA this week. One of them hasn't really dated much as far as I remember. The other was on Tinder a bit when we hung out, which was kinda funny. He got ~10 matches or so over that evening. But he hasn't dated much either afaik, just due to school/work, and the fact that he is a bit shy. He's a super in shape (marathon runner, vegan) Japanese dude who is currently getting his Master's in marine biology.

I believe what they tell me, but as a rule, my friends and I don't really discuss our sex lives much. I don't particularly enjoy talking about it. Definitely more interested in things that relate to my friends and potential LTRs than just sex by itself.

I'd add more color about when I was single, but I'm not sure it's super relevant after almost 5.5 years of LTR. I'm much different now than I was when I began dating my partner, which is to be expected since I was 19 when we began dating.

In the time I was single between my last and current relationship, I went on a couple dates over those 6 weeks, had a couple of hook-ups that I don't remember particularly well, then pretty much as soon as we could, my SO and I began dating.

Marino4K · 2019-12-23T03:44:50+00:00

Personally, my issue is, I’ve been trying too hard to get laid and guess what? Zero success haha. When I wasn’t trying, boom here it is.

Not gonna lie, Lately, been getting hella jealous when I see guys who I feel I’m more attractive then with their girlfriends who I feel are out of their league to begin with and I’m like damn my luck is awful right now, I also realize that mindset is part of the problem. Some of it probably stems from the fact that a lot of my close friends are starting to either get married or have started settling into serious relationships. All in all though, it’s been a very negative past few months for me, financially and personally, so looking to break that slump soon hopefully.

Also, I much rather be in a LTR than “playing the game”

wekacuck · 2019-12-22T14:58:02+00:00

Huh. Come to think of it I don't actually have any single friends anymore.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2019-12-22T16:38:50+00:00

How much time and effort do you put in to getting laid?

A date or two every week. Some swiping on and off when I'm bored

How often do you get laid?

I get with a new girl every couple months, typically lasts a few weeks.

Would you be OK being seen in public with the girls you're fucking?

Yes. I don't have sex with girls I wouldn't be seen in public with.

Would you introduce them to your family?

Maybe, if I didn't have personality disorders and could keep a woman for more than a few weeks.

And what do you most look forward to when you get in from a long day at work?

Good food, maybe a fat bowl.

goneaway2thewind · 2019-12-22T17:08:05+00:00

It's available to me but I only want sex with someone I feel passionate about. Therefore my sexlife is nonexistent because all women want to do around me is be sluts

PM_ME_UR_1ITIS_SNAP · 2019-12-22T18:34:47+00:00

I'm single, my game is limited to Tinder, I usually fail at establishing the comfort level for casual stuff, but on few occasions I've opened up with "dtf?" and they were like yeah. But I read a ton of theory.

Rare occasions.

No they're all thots. Maybe if they unthotted themselves.

I mostly look forward to producing music and lifting when I get home, not gonna get me laid exactly from that ik but I can't be bothered chasing hoes at this point.

ifelsedowhile · 2019-12-23T01:13:48+00:00

I go with escorts once in a while. unfortunately they tend to dress and present themselves as stereotypical whores with high heels, fishnet stockings etc. I'd rather go with one who dresses up more casually.

TrueReligionGenes · 2019-12-23T17:17:25+00:00

It's been two years for me, and no signs of ending the dry spell soon. Safe to say my sex life is non-existent. For the most part, I have given up and try to enjoy life as it is, I am thinking about getting an easy part time job and just chillin.

G77R23D · 2019-12-22T15:15:35+00:00

I'm not getting laid all that often due to dating for marriage. Yes the girls I'm with are lovely people. Yes if its serious I usually introduce them after about a month. When I get home I like to watch classic films and ride my Lacroix Lonestar.

Salty-Bastard · 2019-12-22T18:25:21+00:00

I'm single and don't do online, don't really seek an ltr, more of a meet, hang out and have fun for awhile and then end it. My last five were a spin class instructor with an incredible body and childhood trauma, a sexy waitress with daddy issues, the red headed Irish lass who delivered my mail, a nurse who walked by my office, a botanist (miss her) who I would have ltr'd, and a girl from SF who spent the night after a festival. No problem being seen in public with any of them but nobody meets my fam unless we're in an ltr.

After work, a wee dram, good music/book/food and relax. I live in a pretty nice place so my home is my sanctuary.

mechanical_elves · 2019-12-22T18:55:37+00:00

Mostly I just put up with waves of sexual frustration and mental clarity for weeks on end. If I break I will hire a prostitute, but I'd rather die than pursue a woman anymore or navigate to a porn site again, both are actions I consider to be for unworthy men.

NPC55 · 2019-12-22T16:32:35+00:00

My responses as a 30/yo single male. Never been in a relationship

I don't put as much time and effort into getting laid as I did in my early/mid 20's, largely due to time constraints and having more hobbies. I still use online dating from time to time, but I don't have much consistent success with that as I am not attractive enough. Otherwise if I am out and about living my life and an opportunity to talk to a girl organically develops, I will take my chance. That is pretty much the extent of it.

Over the past year or two I have gotten laid a couple times a year. Before that maybe once a year if I was lucky. Things have seemingly gotten easier as I got older, but it could just be a coincidence. Not really sure.

I would be perfectly fine being seen in public with girls I am fucking. Who cares about what random people in public 99% of whom have never accomplished anything think. I wouldn't introduce them to family b/c I don't see the point in that. "Hey Mom this is Becky! We aren't in a relationship but I wanted to introduce her to you because she gives a fucking awesome blowjob!" If I ever have sex so good that it makes me want to introduce her to my mom then I have truly won in life.

When I get home from work I am usually interested in relaxing If I am tired, or working on a website I am helping build for a charity if I have a lot of energy. I also enjoy going out and trying new restaurants. I pretty much eat out for every dinner. I go to restaurants by myself all the time. Also planning my travel trips. I am currently planning a road trip through Britain/Scotland/Ireland to see some of the old castles. So yea, just hobby related stuff I guess.

I don't exaggerate my success with women in real life either. Although I know a lot of people do. I just don't care enough about the thoughts of boring strangers to see the point.

the-lone-squid · 2019-12-22T18:54:26+00:00

time and effort.

Not much. Little online dating here, maybe go out to local bar every now and then.

how often do you get laid?

Used to be often. Then they changed my work schedule to early early mornings. Sex life nearly vanished after that. Specially after she went to straight nights.

Would you be OK being seen in public with the girls you're fucking? Would you introduce them to your family?

Yes, but no girl gets to meet my family

And what do you most look forward to when you get in from a long day at work?

Dinner. 12 hour days wear my old ass out

beyond98 · 2019-12-22T20:26:26+00:00

I don't have sex, and I'm still a virgin with 21 years old, but I'm getting better. This month I have made out with 3 different girls (being drunk to be sincere, but with 2 in the same night) after not kissing a girl for 3 years and a half. I think my virginity will get vanished the next year

Gravel_Roads · 2019-12-22T22:10:03+00:00

My single friends don’t talk to me about their sex lives. I don’t care any more than they should care about mine. I’ve found people are ticklish enough about the topic to make it something you shouldn’t go into too often.

2019-12-22T22:50:25+00:00

How much time and effort do you put in to getting laid?

None. Too much work I don't care about for too little getting what I actually want in return.

How often do you get laid?

Never, obviously

Would you be OK being seen in public with the girls you're fucking? Would you introduce them to your family?

I don't like going out in public in general, so I think the answer to the first question is "No" but not because I'm with someone, it's just because I don't want to be seen in public at all. "No" to the second, FWBs are not girlfriends and shouldn't expect to be treated as such.

And what do you most look forward to when you get in from a long day at work?

Whatever anime or video game or pro wrestling show I'm into, and fingers crossed that whatever insta-thots I follow or IRL girls I'm e-stalking on insta posted new content.

CallMeHaseo · 2019-12-23T01:22:20+00:00

Haven’t touched a girl since Julyish. I’m not justifying it being right. But I can see why some men don’t take no for an answer or do other crazy shit.

CHAD_TDK · 2019-12-23T02:55:25+00:00

Single men of PPD: what is your sex life like?

Pretty good.

How much time and effort do you put in to getting laid?

Not much.

How often do you get laid?

2-3 times a week, so the mean average is ~2.5 times a week

Would you be OK being seen in public with the girls you're fucking?

Sure

Would you introduce them to your family?

LOL. No.

And what do you most look forward to when you get in from a long day at work?

Good food. And if it's the day when someone's coming over for sex, sex too.

Kos_-_Omak · 2019-12-23T07:37:38+00:00

They tell stories of how many times they got laid off Tinder last week and they claim that all the girls they're fucking are really hot.

Those guys are either really young or full of shit. Or both.

Normal adults who are actually sexually successful usually don't directly brag about it to their friends like that. If it's relevant to a story, they may mention hooking up with a particular chick or whatever, but not like that.

I do know one chick who is constantly trying to tell me about her sex life but I think she's really into me and just trying to make me jealous or something idk.

How much time and effort do you put in to getting laid?

It's hard to separate the time and effort that is just for getting laid. example: when I workout, i do it for a lot of reasons and getting laid is one of them.

I don't bother with Tinder or any of that. When i meet girls it's almost always either through social groups or girls i meet when i'm out at a club or whatever.

How often do you get laid?

it varies a lot. sometimes it's almost every night, sometimes it's a longer dry spell. but I don't get all stressed out about going too long without. and I'm more focused on quality than quantity so it's not a big deal.

Would you be OK being seen in public with the girls you're fucking?

absolutely. i have zero interest in dumpster diving. i love knowing that when i'm out in public with a girl, people see us and wonder how the fuck i got with a girl that hot.

Would you introduce them to your family?

i'm very hesitant about it. not because the girls i hookup with are low quality or anything, i just really like to keep things compartmentalized and separate as possible between family and social life and sex. but that's just a personal quirk.

And what do you most look forward to when you get in from a long day at work?

meeting up with friends, grabbing some drinks or a meal, hanging out with them and talking, maybe going dancing or karoke or some activity like that.

binkerfluid · 2019-12-23T13:21:54+00:00

I have a younger good looking friend who slays on tinder and is always seemingly with someone new.

Im older and less good looking and out of a relationship with someone who I thought Id spend the rest of my life with. Im not really looking but if something fell into my lap id go with it but its obviously not and its not good.

Sometimes I get on the apps for a week or two but I never put much effort into it (and to be fair im not very successful and maybe if I were i would put more).

Im not interested in just sex though I DO want a relationship I just dont know if thats something for me at this point in my life or if I really believe in it anymore.

PapaPinyun · 2019-12-24T12:35:39+00:00

married man here- my single friends tell me lies, is the shortest answer. I only have a few single male friends though.

Kwint86 · 2019-12-24T22:43:28+00:00

33 year old. Mostly red. 5'4, in relatively good shape.

Type of girl I am able to attract is relative to how much effort I put in.

Bare minimum effort (OLD) = Average to below average girl

Max effort = Above average girl

Keep in mind tho, the bar is super low to be attractive in my area.

XtoDoubt · 2019-12-22T15:12:04+00:00

My single friends are in a constant state of being rejected and getting played by women. I've tried to red pill a few, but it's a waste of time. They just keep failing.

saladfingers4141 · 2019-12-22T19:05:54+00:00

Up until recently I was single from 25 to 30.

Sex life would go through different patterns to be honest, sometimes I would be hooking up a lot talking to a lot of different women both from real life and dating sites and sometimes there would be large 1-3 month dry spells where I just couldn't be fucked putting the effort in, I focused on other parts of my life until I'd feel the need for intimacy I'd have to get myself back out there again, rinse and repeat.

I never really exaggerated how it was but I found my friends in a relationship would always focus on how good it must be sleeping with multiple different women in the past year and forget about the times of no sex or intimacy.

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Title	Single men of PPD: what is your sex life like? Non-single men of PPD: what do you single friends tell you about their sex life?
Author	_Tumbleweed-
Upvotes	2
Comments	76
Date	December 22, 2019 2:54 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ee5ose/single_men_of_ppd_what_is_your_sex_life_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/single-men-of-ppd-what-is-your-sex-life-like-non.302600 https://theredarchive.com/post/302600

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