It's hard to meet HVW and have fulfilling female friendships.

cantsextihavebills · 2020-11-19T19:31:05+00:00

It's sad that men have influenced us so heavily. They've thoroughly convinced themselves and most women that they are a prize to be won, putting us at competition with each other. As women continue to have access to the world at large and make bigger career and life moves I feel like we'll start to get along better.

Men mentor other men because they have this exclusive, boys-only idea of a workplace hierarchy. Once women start gaining more positions of power we'll start to see the same behavior. The sad truth is that women within a company often have to be ruthless because there are limited positions for females- men simply will not allow it.

I don't think women are catty by nature. We're kind and caring and thoughtful and emotionally in-tune with others, for the most part. The vicious and cruel attitudes and traits we display start to happen when boys enter the equation and continue from there. As soon as we realize that men aren't shit- and it's happening!- we'll be one step closer to having much better relationships with each other, and a better society at large.

rewersii · 2020-11-19T19:13:14+00:00

Typical behaviour of pickmes that think they are super feminist and for equal rights. If you find a HVM they will call you a golddigger. Also if you say that you don't want to date a man that is not educated or that doesn't have a job you will get a HUGE backlash from men AND women. If you want to be a housewife uhh will pickmes attack you. If you want to be only career women they will attack you too then. Winning combination is : Work like a mule , be a perfect housewife date a man that is not educated, has a bad paying job. Society will love you. That is a definition by modern feminism of a StRoNg InDePeNdEnT WoMeN. You are basically a slave to a man.

MY ADVICE: Ladies move in silence. We live in a pickme world ( unfortunately). So be silent , listen to your pickmes friends just nod and LEVEL UP.

SuccessfulAppeal333 · 2020-11-19T19:47:00+00:00

Men throw each other under the bus all the time (often for a woman).

When you find HVW, hang onto them.

Jiou112 · 2020-11-19T20:05:15+00:00

I don't think this is true. Maybe when I was younger, but now that I'm a functioning adult, I found that my fellow young women and older women are so much kinder to me than when I was younger. I befriended older people in my workplace, and they have been so much fun to hang out with. They respect me like an equal. Likewise, I lived abroad and it was wonderful meeting so many amazing, beautiful women. I don't feel jealous like I used to as a teen, I just look up to hardworking, kind hearted, beautiful women. I don't really have guy friends. I just don't see a need to. Most guys I befriended wanted to sleep with me, and I just have no patience for that anymore.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-11-19T21:30:14+00:00

I think a lot of what you're describing is really women's own inner fears about how other women look at them. We're told our whole lives that women are catty, mean and judgemental.

Every single woman I know talks about how hard it is for her to make female friends and it always centers around her own insecurities.

Little girls are always told to watch out for other catty girls and to beware of women stabbing them in the back. Whereas boys are encouraged to join sports teams, the boy scouts, look up to men in the military who form a bond.

Look how long it's taken for women's groups to become a thing. We don't have sororitys the way men have fraternities. Women's sports aren't as popular. Knitting/craft clubs get made fun of and torn down for being for old women. Those were the circles women used to be encouraged to join. And now we think they're a joke/stupid.

There are few HV People in my opinion. But I think sexism is exacerbating your feelings.

circescircus · 2020-11-19T21:12:08+00:00

I agree, yes, it is hard to make HVW friends, but I think you are exaggerating a great deal. You are describing a caricature of women. Like most women have nothing better to do (like work, running a household, kids, elder care, the millions of other shit women do) besides be catty with each other. The older women struggling to be kind to younger women-- the vast majority of older women are NOT like that.

Yeah some women are disappointing. In general women are way less shitty than men... including less catty, jealous, gossipy, backstabbing, etc. I understand what you are saying, but who are you comparing women to? To imaginary ideal perfect women in a fantasy world, or compared to men? You can't compare real people to a fantasy, and by any measurement, women are way less shitty than men.

People can be disappointing in general. It's hard to make friends as an adult, it's hard to find people you have something in common with. It also takes a lot of time for genuine friendship to be formed, people have to spend many hours together for that to happen. Society is also getting increasingly isolating, there are so many reasons why so many women lack fulfilling female friendships, stop thinking it's just because women are constantly and always in competition with one another.

level_up_always · 2020-11-20T20:03:40+00:00

it's true, and because of this we have to learn to be our own best friends first. as much as we'd like to deny this women are competitive and comparative by nature. it's not about pretending these things don't exist but acknowledging it so it can be integrated and put in it's proper place. also men and women cannot be friends imo. i think it is worse in groups of women friendships it's best to have one on one type interactions. this video may be helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvjwCBQD59A

throwdawholemanzaway · 2020-11-21T01:35:40+00:00

I agree with this. I'm an international teacher so right now I'm living in a new country where I have few friends. With COVID, it's even worse because I can't go out and meet people outside where I work. I ended up connecting with people my age (of which there are few, most of the women are 40+ and have kids). We all do the same job btw. Three of the people my age are guys, and one is a girl. And she is a pickmeisha EXTREME, in all ways. She only cares about male attention, is a doormat, is competitive with me in our job and constantly throws me under the bus, and is basically a 1950s housewife in a 22 year old's body. I end up liking the time I spend with the guys more just because they're not as competitive as her and they obviously don't care about making impressions. One on one she's okay as long as we avoid literally any topic that isn't surface level (not ideal) but when we're in a group with the guys she changes and it becomes a dick sucking contest. She hates when they pay attention to me or laugh at my jokes or agree with me on something that she has the opposite view on. Don't get me wrong, they're still not HVM and I wouldn't even think of dating any one of them, but compared to her they seem normal. I wouldn't ever hang out with her if I had any other friends. I end up spending a lot of time talking to my HVW friends back home, which makes me sad because I'm lonely here. :(

pinkmacaroons · 2020-11-20T12:02:33+00:00

I feel like it also has something to do with the vibration you are in. Since I was able to raise my confidence, most insecure women in my environment were turned off by me and slowly disappeared from my life & I started attracting more positive, succesful and confident women in my life who are incredibly supportive.

This year it honestly only happened once that some woman was acting catty/jealous towards me

werker115 · 2020-11-25T03:42:53+00:00

Well your post equates youth with beauty, but not for aging women. Why is that?

Title	It's hard to meet HVW and have fulfilling female friendships.
Author	Nothinmaybesomethin
Upvotes	94
Comments	19
Date	November 19, 2020 4:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jx5zxi/its_hard_to_meet_hvw_and_have_fulfilling_female/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/its-hard-to-meet-hvw-and-have-fulfilling-female.333708 https://theredarchive.com/post/333708

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