TLDR: While pick-up-artists might get laid and attract one or two girls, there’s something most of these “dating coaches” don’t tell you. I believe they have a mindset that ends up making them miserable and, in the long run, unattractive to women.

It all started 5 years ago when I found out about the PUA community. I soon started devouring books on Game and seduction techniques. I’ve read them all. From the famous “Mystery Method” to “60 Years of Challenge”.

I was still a kid back then, so I had really nothing going on in my life. And I was also a virgin, so the PUA world was something I was so keen of.

Eventually, I started applying what I was reading, and yes, I was getting some results with women. But there was something wrong. It felt truly unnatural and “faked”.

I soon realized I was just reciting a script, the so-called “PUA routines”. And I found out that road wasn’t bringing me what I truly desired. In fact, it made me miserable and depressed.

1. How Reading “Game Theory” Books Is Limiting You

A lot of pick-up-artists are miserable and unhappy with their life. This might be hard to believe, but keep reading to understand what I mean.

“What? These men are having sex every two nights and you call them miserable?”, you might be thinking.

There is something a lot of guys in the seduction community never seem to understand. And that is women’s real nature.

While pick-up artists know the techniques that might attract women, they lack a deep understanding of human nature.

This is because they haven’t spent enough time reading books on other subjects, but only read books on “Game”, “Negs”, “Seduction Techniques”, “G-Spot techniques” and other content which is suitable for a high-school kid.

When that happens, you only develop a set of neural networks. Neural networks are fundamental for how we act and think in our everyday life.

When you have only one neural network (in that case, the network which comprehends “game”, “seduction techniques”, and so forth), your brain’s capacity is very limited.

It’s like knowing that a machine moves forward when you press the gas pedal, without knowing WHY it moves forward. Without knowing the mechanisms that lie underneath.

And while you don’t need to know all that stuff, knowing it might enhance your results in a positive way.

If suddenly your car stops, and your gas pedal gets stuck, you might find out why it doesn’t work, because you developed neural networks that comprehend “how the gas pedal permits the car to move forward“.

But if your neural network only includes “When I press the gas pedal, the car moves forward”, you won’t be able to fix the problem. The answer is simply NOT in your brain.

This is the same with pick-up-artists and guys who read a lot of books on “game”. While you might know how to attract a girl by saying a witty pick-up line, if you don’t understand why it works, you are extremely limited.

You lose the ability to question everything. You simply assume it works.

Then, all of a sudden, a girl doesn’t seem to react positively to that one pick-up line you’ve been using for months. “Hey, what the fuck?” you will think. “What happened? Why didn’t it work on her?“.

That’s when cognitive dissonance kicks in. You start questioning whether that pick-up line works or not. You start questioning whether women reacted to you positively because of the pick-up-line or because of your peacocking hat. Or perhaps, neither of the two.

This is why studying Game without studying the themes that lie underneath is extremely dangerous. You become reliant on something that has no guarantee to make you successful with women.

That’s where evolutionary psychology comes in. While PUA’s study the tip of the iceberg, evolutionary psychology goes deeper and studies the psychology behind every pick-up routine, opener, neg, etc.

If you want to truly succeed with women, you must make sure your brain is well developed and has a multitude of neural networks. This is how we connect the dots with our past experiences.

When you read a post about women’s psychology and you tell yourself “Damn! That’s true!“, that’s when the two concepts are being connected.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys are not willing to do that and prefer reading a few posts on “Best Pick Up Lines for Tinder“, without realizing they will NOT get the results they were hoping for.

Again, I’m not inventing this stuff. This is what I myself experienced in the past few years, and these are the conclusions I’ve made.

2. Yes, PUA Get Laid. But Here’s What Happens…

While I won’t argue with the fact that Pick-Up-Artists get laid, their strategy is very flawed.

Many pick-up-artists make women their life mission and thus, never manage to develop their personality and life.

What does it mean? It means that in a few years they will still be the same. They will not have achieved anything in their lives besides some lays. And guess what’s the consequence of this?

Most women won’t be attracted to them. Why? Again, because they didn’t increase their Sexual Market Value during the years and made women their life-mission.

Now, this might not be true with PUA’s who make money and gain status out of this.

In fact, if you are a pick-up-artist and gain part (if not all) of your income from seminars, YouTube videos or any other form of channel, you will surely do better than an amatorial pick-up-artist.

Unfortunately, the guys who find out these pick-up-artists on the internet, will rarely find out what they are doing is quite risky in the long-term.

In fact, when I find out the PUA scene, I was studying Game theory books for hours every, single day. Without doing anything else. This went on for about a full year.

During that period, I was literally making women the focus of my life and, needless to say, I was constantly depressed when women weren’t giving me positive feedback via IOI’s, messages and other silly stuff.

This is because I had nothing else going on in my life. There were 10000 topics I could be studying about: business, computer science, design, and so on. But guess what, all I cared about were pick-up books.

If you find yourself in the same situation, I suggest you look around and ask yourself if you have other goals you are pursuing besides women.

If not, you probably should find out new hobbies and a REAL mission. Or you will inevitably end up feeling depressed one day or another.

3. Women Should Only Take 20% Of Your Thoughts and Emotions

In the last years, I figured out something. You should spend your thoughts and emotions on women no more than 20%. This means that the remaining 80% should be spent thinking about your mission and hobbies.

This really is the perfect balance to ensure you don’t become dependent on women for your happiness and well-being.

If you don’t do this, you will keep focusing on women and strengthening the synapses that relate to them.

The more you think about something, the stronger these thoughts become. This is absolutely true.

This is why focusing your thoughts and emotions on your mission will do the opposite and head you into the right road: the road of emotional self-reliance.

And when you do this, you become the man women are truly attracted to. The man who has other shit going on in his life. And trust me, women deep inside know that PUA’s are actually funny and pathetic.

Making women your life mission is essentially being dependent on women’s approval and validation. This might be okay for a teenager, but for a grown man? I guess not.

Now, if you spent hours on Game theory books, don’t feel bad. Game theory is completely legit and useful for men. The only issue is making it the focus of your life, once again.

Develop other hobbies and interests in your life WHILE you study and apply game theory with women, and you’ll find happiness and confidence within yourself.