Last weekend I got invited to my sister’s holiday party. I used some Machiavellian tactics to set up an optimal situation to meet women. Met a model who tested my frame to its core.
I love the holidays, especially in the city. Girls run around in their slutty Mrs. Claus outfits, slutty ugly sweaters (you’d have to see it to believe it), or you know, skin tight black everything. ”It’s just so festive!<3<3” Psh, whatever.
Anyway, last Saturday I was invited to one such party, at my sisters’ place no less.
S – “Ugh, The_Titleist, my roommates are throwing a party and didn’t tell me until the last minute. All we have is wine and it’s too late to recruit my friends. Can you come and hang out with me?!?!”
TT – “Tell you what, I’ll bring my vodka and whiskey and we’ll rock this party together” Until I find a hottie, that is. Quick note about my sister, she rooms with models, as such all her friends are hot as fuck. Seriously, the worst looking girl there was a HB7. There was not a snowballs chance in hell I was not going.
TT – “When should I be there?”
S – “Be there about 9” 7:30 it is
I decided to go early because I need to be part of the tribe before anybody is there. To the dumb sluts in NY, if you are friends with all the hosts, you are safe. It stops a lot of shit tests before they start.
I arrive at my sisters’ apartment. I get introduced to all four of her roommates. Is it bad if I hook up with one of them? I immediately squash that thought, I love easy pussy as much as the next guy but I cannot out of respect for my sister. She still has to live in that feminist hell hole. The roommates start chatting away. One asks me what I think of her outfit; I tell her she is the highest class of hooker (let’s call her Pretty Lady, she makes another appearance in this story). Another one asks me to take a picture of her; I tell her that she needs to work on her posing if she wants me to continue taking her picture. The roommates think I am hilarious, I get a "scolding" from my sister. Everything is falling into place
DISCLAIMER: If you deliver these lines like a punk they will not work at all
Having firmly established my frame on the roommates, guests begin to arrive. And because I have put in the work to charm the roommates, they introduce all their friends to me first. Preselection established
I decide to chill with my sister, her roommate Redhead and Redheads brother; I was invited to hang out with my Sister after all. I don’t need to force anything. We spend the next hour or so talking about whatever when Pretty Lady walks up.
PL – “Hey that girl has been staring you down.” Points to HB9 standing in the corner
TT – “and…”
PL – “You should go talk to her”
TT – “I’m kind of in the middle of something right now, she’s not going anywhere” I had been discussing my lifting routine with Redheads brother and I normally try to keep women from interfering in the will of Brodin.
PL – “I thought men were supposed to be strong and charismatic and just go” Excuse me? Was this a shit test, probably not, but my manhood has been challenged, There is no turning back now. I apologize to the brother and make a B-line across the party. Confidence is everything I stare her down as I approach.
TT – “Who do you know here?” (I like to open in such a way that the girl is immediately qualifying herself)
HB9 – “I’m friends with Redhead, we went to [college] together.” She smiles at me I’m in
TT – “Follow me” I grab her by the wrist and guide her to my alcohol. Establish dominance and escalate
TT – “What’s your name?”
HB9 – “My name is Model”
TT – “We’re going to do a shot of whiskey with vodka chaser”
Model – “What?!”
TT – “Don’t think and chug it” She takes direction well
Model – “That was a lot better than I expected”
TT – “That’s what they all say” Open ended statement, let the hamster spin
We chat for a while. She tells me she is a model for Ford’s models (hence her pseudonym) and just got picked up by [Jeans Company]. I tell her I used to be in the army. She tells me that she is new to the area. I tell her that I won’t be a very good tour guide since I live in the suburbs. She remarks on how I seem to know everyone. I respond by saying “I know”. And that’s when the shit tests start coming… Video game theory: If it’s trying to kill you, you’re headed in the right direction
Model – “Ohh, I see champagne, can you go get it for me?” Shit test identified
TT – “If you can find me some real glasses I’ll steal the champagne. I refuse to drink it out of plastic cups” Counter with a pressure flip
Model – “Pleaseeeeeeee” This one’s persistent
TT – “You have your instructions” I gave her that knowing look Maintain frame
Model – “ok fineeeee” she runs off to the kitchen giggling Shit test passed. I go get the champagne
We talk for another 20 or so minutes when I get hit with this one.
Model – “So you’re some kind of player, aren’t you” I fucking hate this one. Shit test identified
TT – “Not anymore, I’m a coach now” Shit test ignored
Model – “Really? What sport” She even pretended like it never even happened Passed
I tell her I coach youth hockey. She says she is a rangers fan. (Fuck the Rangers BTW) This is when I tell her that her hair looks great. I grab it by the base and start making out with her.
Model – “Don’t think this means anything is happening tonight” shit test #3
TT – “Of course not, who would dream of fucking a model” respond with agree and amplify
Model – “my boyfriend would.” Shit test #4 it’s about this time I remember she is a model and gets hit on all hours of every day. At this point I’m ready to walk away so I go nuclear.
TT – “He’s not here. I am. Let’s go” I lead her to the coat rack. She is not resisting my lead Giggity
Model – “But what about my friends” last minute resistance
TT - I point to the hulking dude they are talking to. “They look just fine”
The rest you can probably figure out for yourselves.
The hotter they are the harder they shit test
Put in the work to prime the party. You don’t get a chance with the model otherwise.
Abundance is everything. Once I decided that I was pretty much done with her, I felt the freedom required to seal the deal
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