Holding frame means EVERYWHERE

I have my kids (two little girls) part time who are now almost 5 and 3. Two days a week I drop them off at school in the mornings, and while sometimes we are a bit rushed usually I leave more than enough time to handle them easily in the morning.

When I got to their school this morning about 30 minutes later than usual I was treated to many more other parents. All rushing, being grumpy with their kids and muttering things under their breath like "hurry up" while their kid (who is four) is putting on their shoes. One parent actually dragged her kid into the classroom crying because she was "running behind". If you think kids don't see and hear this stuff then you're wrong. They pick up absolutely everything. And remember all of it.

Now, if you ever want to have your frame constantly tested by shit and comfort tests, hang out with small children. Everything gets questioned, they need to be told to do things calmly over and over again and occasionally they will just melt down or push back and you have to actually parent and deal with it. Remember what people say about treating women like they are 3 year olds sometimes and how well it works? Well, it does.

If you lose your frame and start to yell and force them to do things it can work for now. However, remaining calm and being assertive goes miles further. It also teaches them that they can stay calm and not have to feed off of your BS negative emotions. People learn how to treat you from the way you treat them. From the book WISNIFG I learned things like broken record, which goes a long way with kids - and a lot of other people in life too. It also means you can calmly deal with whatever comes your way and just take care of it. And also gives you time to flirt with your kids teachers' stress free.

Holding frame doesn't have to be practiced with just women. It means at work when that coworker tries to palm off blame on you for a project that went sideways. It means dealing with clients or customers when you have to take accountability if you screwed up. It means being organized and friendly and assertive to your kids and LTR even when you might be in a stressful situation. It means not losing it when you're in a store and the sales clerk is incompetent. Just a few examples.

I've found over the past few months that stoicism and practicing the ability to meditate and see the big picture invaluable for this. Even being able to take three deep breaths when your emotions rise and controlling yourself means that you hold frame, deal with your situations better and therefore garner more respect and deal well with people in all walks of your life, especially your LTR and/or kids.

For a project, especially in the Christmas season when stress levels rise, make a point of practicing holding frame in all avenues you walk into. Whether it be with family, kids, a store clerk, people at work or even women you're plating. Once it becomes second nature to operate this way it does reap rewards.