"There's nothing more dangerous than a man who has nothing to lose, son."
-Dad
I was 5 when I threw sand in some girl's face in retaliation (she threw sand in mine.) She started crying.
The girl's dad, an unemployed welfare hick, came to the fence separating our property-
"I'm gonna come over this fence and beat your son's ass!"
My dad is standing in front of me-
"If you come over that fence, I'll rip your fucking head off and shit down your windpipe."
I remember the look on my dad's face- determination, his eyes wide but fierce, almost crazy in fact. His jaw was locked, his fist clinched whilst I clung to his leg. He looked lethal- like a gun ready to go off.
The guy never did come over that fence.
Growing up, I was scrawny and weak. Picked on, and half the time I deserved it. Big mouth, annoying, weird. I would stick up for my friends and promptly get the shit kicked out of me. I didn't even put up a good fight. The most damage I ever did to another person was a bite on the leg after being jumped by three kids. When I opened my swollen eyes to see why the punches stopped after I sunk my teeth in, I looked up to see that the person I bit was the adult who came to my rescue the house over. I bit the guy who saved me.
3 years ago, I signed up at a BJJ gym. I put my time in. I left that gym and signed up for an MMA gym 2 years ago. I'm now one of the instructors at my gym.
I convinced my step brother to sign up 6 months ago. "Don't you want better for yourself?" I asked him. He signed up.
4 months ago, whilst he's lifting weights, he sees a girl who's also lifting and wrestling. She has muscles in all the right places. Fit, pretty, HB8 by my standards but an SMV of 4. He tells another gym-mate, "Who is that? She's pretty!"
The person he told was one of the amateur fighters at our gym. He is unemployed and is all-in on his, so far, lackluster fighting career. He's 24, this is it for him.
He's also the boyfriend of this girl.
"That's my fucking girlfriend."
My step brother apologizes, tells him he didn't know, and steers clear of both thereafter.
2 months ago- I'm coming out of the gym and invite one of my gym-mates out to pizza with my step brother.
AmateurFighter overhears.
"Hey bro, I like pizza! Also, you have a step brother?"
I smile, and respond-
"Yeah, my step brother is __!"
He frowns, and gets a serious look on his face.
"Oh, that fucking guy! Why hasn't he been coming to the gym to get fucked up? Tell him I'm looking for him."
I smile again, throwing warmth in my eyes and using a higher tone than I'd care to-
"Oh, he's injured and has been taking a break. But no worries on the whole girlfriend thing, I handled it and now he knows!"
"Tell him I'm looking for him." He repeated.
"Well bud, don't look too hard!" I responded with a smile, before driving away.
I'm sitting at the pizza place with my step brother. We're going over RP truths. I believe we were talking about value and physical fitness. I was theorizing how sexual strategy was a two sided coin, you can either game women through subterfuge or you could be skilled enough to physically challenge your competition. Either should, in theory, give women the tingles.
I look over to my step brother, and I tell him about what had transpired at the gym before I came to the pizza parlor. AmateurFighter had injured 2 other fighters over the years over perceived slights against his relationship, he had made many more threats. He had a reputation. He had pushed one of the instructors over an alleged leer towards his girlfriend.
"Don't worry, brother. You're family. I have your back." I was thinking back upon my father's old saying: he had just gone to the hospital again the day prior. There was no guarantee he would make it at this time.
"You and my dad are all I have in this world." I thought back to my dad's words. I had nothing to lose, all I could think about was my father and how close I was to losing him.
I see a familiar car pull up in the parking lot.
AmateurFighter had arrived, uninvited.
My step brother becomes apprehensive- "oh shit." He says with some concern.
"Don't worry, I'll handle it." I assure him.
AmateurFighter throws open the door. His gait is with purpose, his face has the look of a man looking for a fight. He doesn't even look at me, his eyes are fixated on my step brother.
I smile, add warmth to my eyes, I throw my hands out and say in a high voice, "hey, AmateurFighter! I don't remember inviting you!"
No acknowledgment. He comes up behind my step brother, he forcefully places his hand on the nape of his neck. He leans in, "hey man, you said something pretty disrespectful about my girlfriend-"
I shot out of the seat in a flash. I knocked over the tables and chairs. I secured a cross-collar grip on his jacket with my forearm against his throat. I pushed him against the wall.
"This isn't the fucking place for that." I growled, my voice resuming it's natural deep Bass that I normally hide. My eyes bore into him with a wild-eyed look, not unlike my father's back in the day.
He threw his hands up. His eyes darted around in visible fear. He didn't respond, he didn't move. His eyes never met mine throughout the exchange.
"If I wanted you here, I would've given you a fucking invite. Now get the fuck out of here." I finished.
The staff rushed over, attempting to separate us. It was like time stood still. The whole room had been enveloped in my frame. I released him and the staff proceeded to escort him out, threatening police. I proceeded to sit back down to finish my pizza and beer, and continue my conversation with my step brother. In spite of me being asked to leave, the staff didn't push the issue and I remained unmolested for the rest of the night.
I looked over to my step brother and clasped his hand with mine. I looked him in the eye-
"You had my word that I had your back."
"One day, I may need you stand for me, much like I did for you today. I may become injured and weak"
"That guy won't let this go. His ego won't stand for it. So you better learn how to defend yourself, because I won't always be around."
"But lucky for you, and unlucky for him, I was here. He put his hand on the stove and he got burned."
He acknowledges this, and we finish talking about TRP without further issue.
As I walk out, I see the AmateurFighter and the gym-mate I had invited earlier hanging out down the ways, waiting for us to leave. I expected the worst.
"Get in the car and leave, bro." I command. He reluctantly obliges, still mindful of his injuries from the week previous during training.
I walk over to the group. I felt relaxed but wound-up. I was calm and I had a sense of certainty. Fear, something I would normally feel when I was younger, was strangely absent.
I felt lethal, but I was also mindful that I needed to be functional for my dad's sake. Regardless, in my mind, there was only one way this situation would go if it came down to it.
AmateurFighter starts talking.
"Dude, ketogainsmongoose, I'm sorry. I came here to talk to you!"
"Don't bullshit me, AmateurFighter, you came here looking to cause problems for my step brother. You put his hands on him. You simply expected me to stand by, but you put your hand on the stove and got burned, now you're trying to pretend you weren't here to fuck him up."
"He disrespected my girlfriend! She doesn't know what just happened in there! I asked her if she was offended, and she said yes! I asked if she wanted an apology, she said yes! I was just gonna have him come outside and apologize to her!"
"Bullshit. You came in with anger on your face and in your heart. You put your hands on him. You violated man's law. You disrespected me by coming here."
"But I thought you invited me!"
"How the hell would you figure that?"
"You said 'don't look too hard!' that wasn't an invite?"
I laugh.
"You're an idiot. That was a threat. I was trying to hint to you to back the fuck off."
"But my girlfriend wanted an apology!"
"Fuck your girlfriend, and fuck her apology."
I see a shadow move in the passenger side of his car. The girlfriend has been sitting in the car this whole time, listening to this exchange, without me realizing it.
I walked away unmolested that night. In a fit of rage, AmateurFighter had confronted our coach, the owner, at the gym over another issue regarding the girlfriend "being harassed." This time she alleged that she was 'touched' inappropriately by another instructor and waited a week to report it. A view of the cameras inside proved the allegation was false. When Coach told him as much, AmateurFighter pushed him to the ground.
The coach, knowing what had transpired with me and AmateurFighter the week before, banned both AmateurFighter and his girlfriend, and threatened him with police.
Some amongst the viewership question the authenticity of the field reports and stories posted on TRP as of late.
I'm here to tell you why you're simply a pussy-ass bitch who deserves your boring, uneventful, unfulfilling life.
Every single day, opportunities present themselves for you to drop the facade and be a man. Here it comes! Your chance to actually have something unbelievable happen in your life! A situation that would make your friends shake their heads in disbelief and say, "bullshit, I don't believe you!"
And every single time, you choke.
You see other men, being men, and rationalize it as bullshit. Because the bitter truth, that you're simply a coward, is too hard for you to swallow.
You hamster away opportunities to show the world and yourself what you're made of.
"I need this job."
"It's not worth the hassle."
"Karma will get him."
"One day, he'll mess with the wrong guy."
"He's not worth it."
"He's just lucky I can control my temper."
"If insert ideal conditions here then I'd show him!"
You're just a pussy That's all there is to it. You're afraid to speak your piece because you're afraid of all the things you'd lose in your life.
Your job.
Your house.
Your bills.
Your car.
Your girlfriend.
Your wife.
Your kids.
And on and on it goes.
Those who would trade their self-respect for security, will neither be safe nor will they receive respect.
If you can't stand up to the random petty Tyrants riddled along your path in life, how the hell are you supposed to stand up for yourself when it matters?
If you don't take a stand now, you'll never catch up to those who trudged along, ignoring the crabs that attempted to pull them down.
Stop being a crab. Start being a man. Get your ass out of the house and stand for something.
Quit making excuses for why today just isn't the day to stand up for yourself.
If a man has enemies, that's good! It means he actually stood for something in his life.
If you're tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a doormat, dig in your heels and start being a man for a change.
Go out there and live life.
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